"I found this outside of a local pharmacy," Antonio wrote, "looks like someone has to cure amnesia on the display."
"The company I work for sells text-message related web services," writes Martin S. "Basically, you buy a subscription and then get access to our SMS gateway that has all sorts of fancy features."
Back in 1952, the economist William Vickrey proposed a fairly unique solution to New York City’s subway congestion problem: introduce a variable fare that fluctuated during peak times. The idea was that the market powers would help tackle the ever-longer commutes by introducing some simple supply-and-demand principles.
"They must really want your marketing information," writes J.W. Koebel, "that steak sure costs a lot of you want to buy it anonymously."
"In my native language of German," writes Christian, "the word quellcode is a pretty direct translation of 'source code'."
When you've been in IT for as long as Pat McGee, you're bound to have survived at least one or two COBOL horror stories. While COBOL is certainly not the worst platform to develop software on (MUMPS will most certainly hold that title through at least our grandchildren’s lifetimes), its extreme verbosity and unique idiosyncrasies make it a challenge for organizations to develop clean, maintainable code.
"It's no secret that web developers are generally considered the red headed stepchildren of programming, and with good reason," writes Joe. "With its proliferation of forgiving and loosely structured languages and the huge demand for web developers in our modern web-centric world, it's not surprising that the field is practically overrun by script monkeys with no real programming background. Armed with a shelf full of books on all the latest web technologies and a subscription to Experts' Exchange, they enthusiastically pound away at their keyboards day after day, happily and cluelessly producing oceans of spaghetti code so bad that even Olive Garden wouldn't serve it."
"I saw this at about 1AM on our local free station," Henk wrote, "I guess being a television station has its perks when it comes to getting the message out there?"
"In ASP.NET programming," writes Chad Braun-Duin, "database connection strings are stored in configuration files, and the standard way of getting your connection string from these files looks like this:"
"It's that time of year again," Robert Rossegger wrote, "you know, when the underpowered air conditioner just can't cope with the non-winter weather? Fortunately, we have a solution for that... and all we need to do is just keep an extra eye on people walking near the (completely ajar) server room door."
"I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into," Christian Riesen wrote, "the company I started at was very forthcoming about their codebase, and how it had grown organically over the past 12 years. I took the job because it would be a challenge to convert it from single files with tons of includes to a to a framework-based approach."
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When the big merger was announced, the IT staff of both corporations was a little bit nervous, and with good reason: The day after the announcement, many redundant positions were eliminated. Miraculously, the IT staff on both sides was left almost untouched. With the integration of two disparate code bases, there was a lot of work ahead.
The Odd Couple
Ben had already been with the University for a few years when Dave joined the team. At some point during the interview process, Dave reached the conclusion that he was here to modernize the team. As a result, he started on a Tuesday, and by Wednesday was telling everyone how he would do their job.
"I've been maintaining a 'certain' application for several months now," Trent writes, "it exists in a wonderful state of being partially properly written code, but mostly legacy garbage. I've done my best to avoid anything in the database realm, but a change request forced me to journey down that dark path."
"Having used a calculator to double check," Stephan writes, "I can confirm that the SQL 2008 R2 database will have to live without tuned indexes. Unless anyone happens to have a 64 zettabyte disk I can borrow?"