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August 2012

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Luck of the Draw

"One of these icons closes the current window, one completely exits the program," observed Sam Oldak.

PIN Panic

Bill T's morning was off to a really bad start. First, his alarm went off late. This forced him skip his morning coffee which, in turn, made him so groggy that he blew right through a stop sign on the way to work causing a near-miss with some guy on a bicycle. A passing police cruiser noticed the event and Bill was issued a citation, the writing of which resulted in him arriving almost an hour late to work.

The Race Case

"I'm trying to figure out some code and I don't even know where to start with the WTFs!" writes Rachel. "The design has introduced me to a new level of terrible. The naming convention is inconsistent, and the WTFs just keep coming..."

Healthy Competition

“This one’s going to be a little different,” Tom said.
It's natural for a development team to spread the work out. Each member writes small modules, and then the modules are all assembled to implement the business functions the software requires. Sometimes, each developer has a distinct touch and style, and you can tell, just by naming conventions, who was responsible for which block of code. And sometimes, you get blocks like this.
"It's a good thing I decided to test this machine out," writes Jim, "We had been looking to replace / repair our oven, and it seems we can just bake on the hard drive."
Have you ever been faced with this scenario? You need to unscrew a Phillips head screw but you only have a similarly sized flat head screwdriver available.

Can of RAID

"The rent must be cheap," Alex mused as he pulled into the muddy field that served as a parking lot. He guided his car into a spot beside another car, which happened to be up on blocks. The building he was here to visit was a double-wide trailer that had started rotting before Alex was born and didn't intend to stop until well after he was dead.
About a decade ago, Coyne's employer at the time hosted various application systems for multiple clients running on their IBM host.
It's easier to teach a non-programmer to program in an object oriented language than it is to teach a Cobol programmer to do the same. That's my experience, and I think Clint would agree. He sent in this VB6 block that he inherited, developed by a self-proclaimed Cobol fanatic. There's not a lot code here, but nearly every line has something… special.
"I was looking up the point values for Dairy Queen in the Weight Watchers iOS app," writes Vince, "and I think that I'm going to have to pass on ordering the Banana Cream Pie Blizzard."
"I was going through old e-mail from several years back I ran into this gem," writes Lianna. "This snippet, with data anonymized, comes from the logs of the database as some of the queries that were performed by a particular PHP system:"
Richard fumbled with his key card, taking care not to accidentally spill his coffee as he entered the conference room. Normally, he was as much a morning person as the next guy, but for him, arriving to work for a 7AM meeting was best suited for the birds. Richard had some hoped that this meeting would at least involve some donuts, but he knew better. After all, they don't title happy project kickoff meetings "Damage Control".


Timmy threw open the door to the team room. Panting, he cried, "We're being hacked!"
Chris got this error while playing around with Xcode. Though he could prove to the contrary, he was given no choice other than to agree.
Out on the The Daily WTF Forums, user dynedain found this gem while doing maintenance on a site that's a huge pile of static HTML files:
Ben inherited a an application from a fellow employee on the fast track to retirement. How fast? Well, these are some sample methods in a thousands-of-lines-long class file called, appropriately, "Functions". public static string ReturnEmptyStringIfNullElseValue(string value) { if (value == null) { return ""; } else { return value.ToString().Trim(); } }
There's a Rat in my Computer (from M. Fragger)

The Long Goodbye

Herwig smiled at Greta as he entered the glass-walled copy-center. "Excuse me, but do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

Kentucky Fried Cat

Ok, everyone, let's pitch in so Kristof Mattei can finally get this folder of his deleted.
Hey - just a quick reminder - if you haven't checked out our free Daily WTF T-Shirt Giveaway sponsored by our friends at New Relic, you might want to get on it before it ends. Supply is limited to 250, so sign up soon!

SQL Splits

"I should probably start by saying that I am not a SQL expert," Paul wrote. "Sure, I've written my share of SELECT statements, plenty of UPDATE statements, and even a few ALTER statements, but beyond that... nada."
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