If only Java supported XML ...

... then Brade would never have come across this code written by an expensive Java consultant his company used.

public final class XmlGenerator {
  private static final char LEFT_BRACKET = "<";  
  private static final char RIGHT_BRACKET = ">";  
  private static final char Q_MARK = "?";  
  private static final char EQUAL = "=";  
  private static final char DOUBLE_QUOTE = "\"";  
  private static final char SLASH = "/";  
  private static final char SPACE = " ";  
  private static final char AMPERSAND = "&";  
  private static final char APOSTROPE = "'";  
  private static final String XML = "xml";  
  private static final String VERSION = "version";  
  private static final String VERSION_NO = "1.0";

  private static void appendXmlVersion(StringBuffer buffer) {
    buffer.append(LEFT_BRACKET);
    buffer.append(Q_MARK);
    buffer.append(XML);
    buffer.append(SPACE);
    buffer.append(VERSION);
    buffer.append(EQUAL);
    buffer.append(DOUBLE_QUOTE);
    buffer.append(VERSION_NO);
    buffer.append(DOUBLE_QUOTE);
    buffer.append(Q_MARK);
    buffer.append(RIGHT_BRACKET); 
}

You know, I think I'm in the wrong field. I suspect that not only could I convince folks that Java does not support XML, but that I could easily get away having to build an expensive messaging subsystem, because as we all know, Java doesn't support messaging either. Now if only I could stop giggling after saying “Enterprise Java Beans,” I'd be all set. Hee hee, Enterprise Beans.