Remy Porter

Remy Porter lives in Pittsburgh, PA. During his ten years of IT work, he's been a helpdesk monkey, an independent contractor, a technical trainer and most recently a lead developer for an international company.

Recent Articles

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August 2012

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Healthy Competition

“This one’s going to be a little different,” Tom said.
It's natural for a development team to spread the work out. Each member writes small modules, and then the modules are all assembled to implement the business functions the software requires. Sometimes, each developer has a distinct touch and style, and you can tell, just by naming conventions, who was responsible for which block of code. And sometimes, you get blocks like this.

Can of RAID

"The rent must be cheap," Alex mused as he pulled into the muddy field that served as a parking lot. He guided his car into a spot beside another car, which happened to be up on blocks. The building he was here to visit was a double-wide trailer that had started rotting before Alex was born and didn't intend to stop until well after he was dead.
It's easier to teach a non-programmer to program in an object oriented language than it is to teach a Cobol programmer to do the same. That's my experience, and I think Clint would agree. He sent in this VB6 block that he inherited, developed by a self-proclaimed Cobol fanatic. There's not a lot code here, but nearly every line has something… special.


Timmy threw open the door to the team room. Panting, he cried, "We're being hacked!"
Ben inherited a an application from a fellow employee on the fast track to retirement. How fast? Well, these are some sample methods in a thousands-of-lines-long class file called, appropriately, "Functions". public static string ReturnEmptyStringIfNullElseValue(string value) { if (value == null) { return ""; } else { return value.ToString().Trim(); } }

The Long Goodbye

Herwig smiled at Greta as he entered the glass-walled copy-center. "Excuse me, but do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"
« Jul 12

August 2012

Sep 12 »