Comment On A More Permanent Join

wow... this is a...

wow...

The Real WTF is that a contractor had write access on his first day to production data.

They gave him write permission on the DB? Why?

That's really thinking outside the box. :)

That's why you should not give rights other than SELECT to people whose skill you don't trust... Then again THAT was quite unexpectable.

It's Occam's Razor, not Occum's.

Lorne's Note: It's either a typo, or a byte got mangled in transit when some flux in the Earth's core inverted the local magnetic fields at my ISP.

"a smiling cotton-swab wrapped in plaid" confused me.
Was he an old lumberjack?
An albino grunge throwback?
A Ska fan wearing a fuzzy white hat?

Oh, you didn't bold Aaron's name in the first paragraph, you fail at writing.... Lorne??? Oh, this is interesting, a new writer. Well, I was only kidding, it's sort of a running joke round here. Anyway, welcome Lorne!

I was actually just commenting to say that I have to agree that Crystal Reports is not a reporting tool, it is a cruel and unusual form of punishment. The stupid thing is, there are so many better alternatives and most of them are cheaper.

Why do you give anything more than read-only access to a database for reporting use? Sounds like someone was asking for trouble...

re:me:

The Real WTF is that a contractor had write access on his first day to production data.

But he was a "guru"... It'll be fine, stop making things up...

Seriously, though, they're not testing new code against a daily-replicated go-ahead-and-trash-it database first... WTF.

Oh, yeah: No code review? Another WTF.

Hi Lorne,

Welcome to TheDailyWTF.

I noticed something about your article.

Every sentence has its own line.

This does not enhance readability.

Just sayin'.

using Occum's razor to pick her brain.

Doesn't that hurt?

This is clearly someone who did not properly conside scalability & performance. While he was on the right track altering the column to move the stats enum permanently into the table, he should have just hardcoded the table results as an array in the codebase. Imagine the performance benefit of never hitting the database.

Sure, the guy was a lemon. But the famous real WTF here is: Why could a new guy hired for writing reporting change an important database layout that was crucial for many others?

Cheers,
Thorsten

That's nothing. The systems that I work on...they were designed this way. Having a bunch of redundant data in lieu of lookup tables is the least of the problems. Keys? We don't need no stinkin' keys. Relationahips? What for? That guy Codd was a dope. In fact, why don't we also have multi-delimited data in one column (and no, not an XML datatype)? Clever idea! All of this ran on compressed, virus-scanned drives on unpatched, decade-old systems, of course.

Anonymous:

Oh, you didn't bold Aaron's name in the first paragraph, you fail at writing.... Lorne??? Oh, this is interesting, a new writer. Well, I was only kidding, it's sort of a running joke round here. Anyway, welcome Lorne!

I was actually just commenting to say that I have to agree that Crystal Reports is not a reporting tool, it is a cruel and unusual form of punishment. The stupid thing is, there are so many better alternatives and most of them are cheaper.

Hey, it's Halcyon! Glad you're a writer now, I always enjoy your forum posts. Good luck.

I could tell exactly what was going to happen when Aaron told him to do a join on a table. Still, a decent story.

Hey...
We must work for the same company, how come I've never seen you unless... Jim, is that you?

write permission to the database, how about alter table?!? well, you know what they say, you can pick more brains with a razor...

this sort of nonsense would have never happened on an embedded platform with no file system...

The more contractors I meet, the more I despair. Seems they swot up only enough to bluff their way through an interview, saying they will "learn the rest on the job". And they get paid 2 - 3 times a permanent employee's salary to do just that!

Although in this case it looks like the fault of the agent at placement company who presumably isn't technical enough to know a guru (or not) when they see one, and thinks that anyone in IT can do any*thing* in IT. Either way, Stan is lying...

I like the way the contractor utterly screwed up, failed to do his job (actually made things worse), but Aaron's company still had to pay a big early-termination fee to get rid of him. Some sub-human lawyer has earned his weeks' supply of blood for that one.

Lorne's Note: It's either a typo, or a byte got mangled in transit when some flux in the Earth's core inverted the local magnetic fields at my ISP.

Ahh, that must be what happened to me! I was pretty sure this wasn't thedailywoof.com.

Nice WTF today. On a related note, I really like your writing style, Lorne. Looking forward to more!

I don't know what this WTF was about, because the writing style was so bloody awful that I didn't even bother getting to the end.

Ever heard of paragraphs?

re:me:

The Real WTF is that a contractor had write access on his first day to production data.

No, the real WTF is that this complaint gets repeated over and over again in the comments.

To quote the original (emphasis added)

All of QA's automated data-collection and synchronization processes had failed overnight. They were all throwing variations of the same error; invalid type.

He had read/write to a QA system, not production.

And a QA system with regular backups and alerts too. A good thing.

Dude:

Ever heard of paragraphs?

It's not quite as bad as you make out. Every time there's a different speaker, it's a new paragraph. That's indeed good style. However, there's a few times when things are broken up when they shouldn't be; the start of someone speaking doesn't have to form a new paragraph.

As a rule of thumb, I advise trying to make each paragraph have a single theme and be a few lines long (e.g., 5-10) except when there's a lot of conversation back and forth (when lines probably ought to be short anyway). It's not always possible to achieve this, of course, but it's still a pleasurable thing to try for as it makes for easier reading.

frits:

"a smiling cotton-swab wrapped in plaid" confused me.
Was he an old lumberjack?
An albino grunge throwback?
A Ska fan wearing a fuzzy white hat?

Duh, he had no fashion sense (plaid!), and no intelligence (small pieces of cotton wool aren't known for brains).

The real WTF is that they gave him write permission on the DB.

Most companies don't HAVE test databases for this stuff and usually run scripts in production. I think the bigger WTF is that this company supposedly is on the Fortune 100 and doesn't use those things. If it was some small, two-bit Acme Corporation with 20 people then it would be more understandable.

"Unbridled hatred is the only reason to inflict Crystal Reports on someone."

This is the best sentence I have ever read on this site.

"Unbridled hatred is the only reason to inflict Crystal Reports on someone."

This.

mr X:

They gave him write permission on the DB? Why?

Probably because Aaron was also a contractor and not a "guru."

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UPDATE comments SET comment_id='Now that is a WTF!' WHERE comment_id=123;

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steenbergh:

Hi Lorne,

Welcome to TheDailyWTF.

I noticed something about your article.

Every sentence has its own line.

This does not enhance readability.

Just sayin'.

At least he doesn't give away the ending in the title.

I'm not going to mention any names! Just saying.

mc:

Nice WTF today. On a related note, I really like your writing style, Lorne. Looking forward to more!

This.

The formatting of this post is not the best, but it's not so bad that I noticed it before every else posted about how bad it was. But the actual writing style (paragraphs aside), I think is really good. And especially considering this is from a first time writer, I think this is pretty amazing.

Oh yes, and just so I fit in.

The real WTF here is that that consultant had write access to the production data on day one!

Steve the Cynic:

frits:

"a smiling cotton-swab wrapped in plaid" confused me.
Was he an old lumberjack?
An albino grunge throwback?
A Ska fan wearing a fuzzy white hat?

Duh, he had no fashion sense (plaid!), and no intelligence (small pieces of cotton wool aren't known for brains).

Way to kill the silliness. Sorry for never, ever having seen "cotton swab" used as a euphemism for unintelligent person.

How many readers of this site have any type of fashion sense, anyway?

I felt a little sorry for Stan. Granted he had no business working with SQL. The "I'm sorry I let you down" line at the end followed by Aaron's comment makes Aaron look like a jerk.

Evo:

At least he doesn't give away the ending in the title.

I'm not going to mention any names! Just saying.

My favourite example of this:

http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/It_Doubles_as_a_Saw_Horse.aspx

Guess what they were using the server for... go on, guess!

steenbergh:

Hi Lorne,

Welcome to TheDailyWTF.

I noticed something about your article.

Every sentence has its own line.

This does not enhance readability.

Just sayin'.

Check again. You'll find that some sentences require more than one line, although this does depend a lot on the browser window width.

Perhaps you meant "its own paragraph"? Still wrong: some paragraphs contain two sentences. A few contain more.

Anonymous:

I have to agree that Crystal Reports is not a reporting tool, it is a cruel and unusual form of punishment. The stupid thing is, there are so many better alternatives and most of them are cheaper.

Out of interest - which ones do you like? (I know a serious question is a bit out of place here, but I'll risk it.)

The more of this kind of thing I read, the more I hate being a contractor with morals and ethics - I'll turn down work that's (too far) beyond what I know - I'm honest with my reporting in hours, and I do a fair chunk of work for free simply because I might be learning some things as I go (and thus not truly 'earning' the money for which I'm being paid).

I don't overcharge (so I seem cheap an inexperienced?), I tell people what they need to know (not what they want to), and I put the client's needs above my own when I'm working for them. Am I alone in this kind of mentality?

I really need to find my logon info again:

The more of this kind of thing I read, the more I hate being a contractor with morals and ethics - I'll turn down work that's (too far) beyond what I know - I'm honest with my reporting in hours, and I do a fair chunk of work for free simply because I might be learning some things as I go (and thus not truly 'earning' the money for which I'm being paid).

I don't overcharge (so I seem cheap an inexperienced?), I tell people what they need to know (not what they want to), and I put the client's needs above my own when I'm working for them. Am I alone in this kind of mentality?

Cheap anD inexperienced. D din't take properly.

I really need to find my logon info again:

Cheap anD inexperienced. D din't take properly.

D didn't take properly. And I'm now using an external keyboard.

Dazed:

Anonymous:

I have to agree that Crystal Reports is not a reporting tool, it is a cruel and unusual form of punishment. The stupid thing is, there are so many better alternatives and most of them are cheaper.

Out of interest - which ones do you like? (I know a serious question is a bit out of place here, but I'll risk it.)

For .NET development (either WinForms or ASP.NET) I'm very fond of DevExpress XtraReports. Easy to use, good price, can be bought with full source code and the reports look very slick. Have a look here if you're interested.

Anon:

I felt a little sorry for Stan. Granted he had no business working with SQL. The "I'm sorry I let you down" line at the end followed by Aaron's comment makes Aaron look like a jerk.

Watch it guys, we've got an undercover contractor here. Someone throw a dollar bill out the window, that should get rid of him.

TS:

Sure, the guy was a lemon. But the famous real WTF here is: Why could a new guy hired for writing reporting change an important database layout that was crucial for many others?

You guys are missing the point. It was automatically assumed by Aaron that the "guru" was going to fail. He wanted a new permanent position and a way to end the constant stream of dim-bulb consultants. Double-checking that your backups are good then giving the "guru" write access to the live DB is genius. It practically ensures an epic fail by the "guru" thus, unless HR is completely clueless or downright evil, producing the desired outcome.

Mike D.:

It's Occam's Razor, not Occum's.

Lorne's Note: It's either a typo, or a byte got mangled in transit when some flux in the Earth's core inverted the local magnetic fields at my ISP.

Occum's Razor (phrase): The most esoteric explanation for a typo is usually the correct one. (See also: Muphry's Law)

Anonymous:

Evo:

At least he doesn't give away the ending in the title.

I'm not going to mention any names! Just saying.

My favourite example of this:

url-removed-for-spam-check

Guess what they were using the server for... go on, guess!

You're not seriously saying that beats this one:
http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Wheres-Our-Webserver.aspx

Okay, in reality, the article isn't given away in the title. Rather in the title and the first sentence of the story combined.

(Why is this message marked as spam?! Let me try some random things to see if it passes the magic spam checks)

Edit: The real what the fuck is that I had to remove the URL from the quoted post to pass the spam checks.

Presumably a test box. Just showed stupidity.

Anyway: "Wow, well written and a happy ending!" Note-to-self: check for flying pigs.