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Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 10:03
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by
Stupidumb
(unregistered)
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All issue tracking software should have built in pizza ordering.
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Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 10:17
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by
St. Mary's Hospital for the True Image
(unregistered)
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It should also allow tickets for various subtasks, like ordering mozzarella and tomatoes, reserving a time slot to use the kitchen, and finally, an ULTRA-URGENT-ticket which lures all other hungry people out of the house. Think along the lines of "Building is going to collapse – rescue the office materiel on your desk immediately." |
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Arrrrr matey (Hey, today IS talk like a pirate day), me most important issue ever be when an overzealous wench be figurin out how to put tickets in me queue that be sev 1 tickets.. Me and me crew be havin a talk with her boss after three of these beasties and last I saw her she was walkin the plank (she really did get fired, turned out she wasn't doing it to just me, sending sev 1 tickets in for stupid stuff).
That be the most important issue I ever deals with, getting a landlubbin trouble maker out of me parrot's feathers! Mental note: Make sure I do not respond to business emails with the pirate dialog... Yaarrrr... |
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The most urgent ticket that I ever handled was actually delivered to me verbally in person. For the interest of understanding, I will present to you a one-act play consisting of myself (Me) and the IT Guy (ITG)
ITG: *bursts into office without knocking* HEY! YOU! Me: Who the hell are you? (I had never seen this particular IT guy before) ITG: Are you running... *ITG consults his clipboard* ITG: Google desktop? Me: Yes, I am. ITG: WHAT!? TURN IT OFF!! Me: What!? Why? ITG: It's crashing the proxy! Me: Crashing the proxy? It checks Gmail like...every 9 minutes. ITG: I said turn it off so turn. it. off. Me: Once again, who the hell are you? And why not just send me a ticket about this? ITG: I did send you a ticket but you're crashing the email server too! Me: I find that hard to believe. Let me speak to Dave* *I call Dave* Me: Dave, listen, I have some guy here saying that Google desktop is crashing the email server and the proxy. IT IS!? Well, shouldn't the proxy be able to handle more traffic than that? Log files...uh-hu. Well how about this: Don't log anything that has google in the URL. Uh-hu. Ok, ok, I'll uninstall google desktop. By the way, it doesn't touch the email server. So that's how I learned that the office network was so fragile that 2kb of traffic a MINUTE was enough to take it down. Also, as an unrelated WTF: the email server in my little re-enactment was actually down because the secretary had sent an email to staff@company.com containing a cute little NINE MEG clipart of a rubber ducky. Three times. The email server was choking on a sudden burst of 10GB worth of rubber duckies. *Name changed to protect the designer of the terrible terrible network. |
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status: closed
resolution: fixed 
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I don't see the WTF. Don't you understand? THE COFFEE MACHINE WAS BROKEN!!!!! NO COFFEE!!!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?????!??!?!?!!
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Yarr! I received an support request (via e-mail) from a coder whose desk was next to mine. He had "accidentally" deleted all of the production databases. The next request (sent in person) was because he "accidentally" erased his hard drive using FDisk. Needless to say, he did not last long. He must have been pissed when he left, because he wiped out his computer by dragging all the icons on his desktop to the recycle bin.
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This is not a fun comment, I know. Does anyone know exactly what product that is? (the bug tracking software)
Thanks! |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 10:44
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by
StubbornMule
(unregistered)
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That screenshot is of FogBugz.
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We have an obnoxious customer that doesn't call support but calls the receptionist to contact us (the programmers) directly, because whatever problem they have is so urgent and complex that support takes to long. (note: our support department is really excellent)
Now out receptionist is stuck with telling them to call support. Over and over again. |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 11:12
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by
ObiWayneKenobi
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That sounds like most customers... they think the world revolves around them and any issue, no matter how minor, they have is of the utmost urgency and requires your full attention. Most company owners are like that, as well - expect you to drop whatever else you're doing to fix their minor problem. |
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When things are slow, we have people submit funny bugs for a laugh. A few that I remember...
-Stuck on conference call. Can you get me a cup of coffee? No cream or sugar. Ticket Closed: Brought cup of cream and sugar. User initially seemed happy, but mood quickly soured. User Comment: Thanks smart ass. -Locked in office, please send help! IT Comment: Door seems to be locked so I can't get in office to duplicate issue. User comment: Please slide donuts under the door. So hungry. IT Comment: Planning jelly donut ambush when Joe leaves his office. -Can't find shoes. IT Comment: Check your feet (several minutes later) -Can't find feet. IT Comment: Look inside your shoes |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 11:19
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Nathan Strutz
(unregistered)
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My most urgent issue ever was when the CEO conferenced me in to a call with 3 other developers demanding that we investigate why traffic was down. He had stats and figures, MRTG graphs even showing traffic was down about 40% while his reports said renenue was down almost 80%.
He owned a small software company who ran a handful of social web sites. He was both the stressed-out micromanager, as well as the zen guy who believed he was in tune with everything that our customers wanted. One developer (the suck up) was on the site verifying that it was in fact working and that credit card transactions were successfully charging. Another guy (the veteran) was assuring our CEO that there was nothing wrong with the database today. I listened for a minute and finally spoke up - "Excuse me, Mike. Mike? - Yeah, it's Christmas morning. Don't you think that could have something to do with it? Look, my kids are opening presents now, so umm, you guys can 'solve' this thing without me, but I would bet money that it will go back up tomorrow. Goodbye." |
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The most urgent issue I was ever involved with was WAY back in the day (1984 or so) as one of two bored computer operators on a night shift at the data center for the state gov't of [state elided], watching the assistant junior night shift manager (the other operator) play around with a mainframe utility called FileEdit and subsequently delete the ENTIRE DMV driver's license VSAM file. As in, gone. No more driver's license records.
We then spent the rest of the night frantically re-running a bunch of batch jobs to get it back, and it was back by morning. |
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Coffee machine? Get a Keurig, man. Love those k-cups.
Also, additional kudos to iNetU. They take care of our webservice hosting and are absolutely top-notch. When we initially wanted a contract with Rackspace, we called both. The Rackspace rep, after hearing we'd dealt w/ iNetU and were looking for a comparable quote, said, regarding price, "we can't touch em." Great organization. |
But only one chemical substance gets out the lead ... like she said
2008-09-19 11:38
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sibtrag
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57T07kWFy7g&feature=related |
Re: But only one chemical substance gets out the lead ... like she said
2008-09-19 12:02
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A Nonny Mouse
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there is something very wrong with the chick at 1:10's arms :-\ |
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A couple of years ago, my former boss (who was 8 months pregnant at the time) assigned a task to me in our issue tracking system with a deadline of 4 weeks in the future, entitled "Drive Chantel to hospital"
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Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 12:06
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Keithius
(unregistered)
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Arrr, I agree with ye. But what if ye be out of k-cups? It be time for a keelhaulin', then, matey! |
Re: But only one chemical substance gets out the lead ... like she said
2008-09-19 12:08
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by
Shoot Me
(unregistered)
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Ewwww. That's not right at all. |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 12:14
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Bob N Freely
(unregistered)
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My company provides data feeds to our customers. I came in one morning a few weeks ago, and several people were running around the office looking slightly panicked. Shortly after I sat down in my office, there were 4 people from our operations team standing in the door, asking me if I knew anything about some new data in the live DB. I had manually uploaded some data records at the request of another ops team member the night before. Now, technically, I'm not supposed to do that, but the tool they normally use to modify records has some bugs and we had been doing this as a workaround until they were fixed.
Anyway, it seems that we had received a phone call early in the morning from one of our customers (a big customer), claiming that the XML feed file we were providing was causing their system to crash. There were threats of contract cancellation. They were convinced we had munged up the file somehow. So we spent about an hour trying to figure out what the problem was. We couldn't find any problems with the XML file. The data was valid, and the file was formatted properly. Finally we backed out the records I had added the night before, and suddenly everything was working. The next day we got a sheepish call from our contact at the company, explaining that the problem was on their end. There was an ID code in the file that they didn't have a handler for (even though it was a valid code), and instead of skipping it and logging an error, their file parser just threw an exception and died. |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 12:20
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Bob N Freely
(unregistered)
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We have a Keurig at work. It's okay. I'm not that impressed with the quality of the coffee though. But then, I guess I'm kind of a coffee snob. I have a Gaggia espresso machine at home. I recently ordered one of these to keep at work: http://www.aerobie.com/Products/aeropress_story.htm Supposed to be better than a French press. Can't wait to try it out. |
Re: But only one chemical substance gets out the lead ... like she said
2008-09-19 12:34
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by
blah
(unregistered)
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OMFG! anorexia. |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 12:38
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by
Superbug
(unregistered)
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Did you say "Oh, that bug is easy to fix, I'll do it today so we can close the bug"? |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 12:50
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by
Marvin the Martian
(unregistered)
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So the full name would be hard to cram in the logo if the sponsors weren't there you say? I think you are telling us it's time for a new site re-design and namechange.
At my last job I wasn't allowed to have an espresso machine anymore after my first one exploded. It ruined some books and mildly surprised me [well --- don't expect me to react with 0% coffee in my blood-alcohol mix], raining glass and hot coffee throughout the room. The plaster wall still displays deep brown river-like strands. |
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What?! You advertised SlickEdit the second time?? That's it, I'm cancelling the subscription.
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I concur that any failure of the hot drinks making is indeed top priority.
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The Real WTF is that the owner of the FogBugz case hadn't closed it yet!
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Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 14:30
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by
A serious poster
(unregistered)
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Your local college likely offers some courses in basic reading comprehension. I’d suggest you enroll in them, as this skill is very useful in the job market. Since you lack the basic ability to read and comprehend this story, I’ll spell it out for you. I won’t make this a habit, so I strongly suggest that you enroll ASAP. It took them an hour and sixteen minutes to resolve this issue. If you honestly can’t comprehend why this is unacceptable in modern business practices, perhaps you should pursue employment at a local fast food joint? Failing to meet a SLA is a serious failure, and failing to meet one as important as this one, by such a huge amount, could have serious repercussions- They are lucky the building didn’t burn down. |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 14:38
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by
Adam
(unregistered)
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You want Pizza Party
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Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 15:44
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real_aardvark
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Daniel, this is waaaay too good a WTF to be wasted in the middle of one of Alex' loathesome sponsorship plugs. You're not registered, so you wouldn't know. Nobody actually reads the comments here any more -- they just massage their 3-inch egos by posting yet another comment on why it's strange that nobody has heard of cygwin (see other thread today) or the equivalent. Wrong "submit" button. Next time (and I'm sure there's a next time in you), hit the "Submit your WTF" button. My name, in case you're wondering, is "nobody." There are eight million stories in the Naked WTF ... and nobody reads a single one of them. |
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Let me see if I understand -- by patronizing these sponsors, we subsidize you watching Heroes, Lost, and Battlestar Galactica?
Why don't we skip the middleman and just patronize the sponsors of Heroes, Lost, and Battlestar Galactica? -Harrow. |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 17:00
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real_aardvark
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Because their scripts are nowhere near as visual. |
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TRWTF is the ads being crammed in every possible place now. (I've got an idea where you can cram some more.) The coffee story is just there to give us something to discuss.
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I once got a call from the library room downstairs.
"One of the monitors in the lab is smoking, what should we do?" I responded in the obvious fashion (words to the effect of "For the love of God, unplug it right now!") When I tested it, sure enough, as soon as you plugged it in you got smoke and a hot-plastic smell. We dumped that one on the next recycling run. |
Re: But only one chemical substance gets out the lead ... like she said
2008-09-19 18:59
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by
DeLos
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I didn't have sound at first and I thought it was a dude. She looks like sickly skinny |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 19:19
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by
SponsorMan
(unregistered)
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let me see, if you use all of the products from these sponsors on your next project, it will most likely end up on this site in a few short months.
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I once got a Critical bug that said this:
"Application crashes when user enters kill -9 %process PID%." We stopped letting users submit bug reports directly after that. |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-19 22:19
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by
irishlyrucked
(unregistered)
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Had a Administrative Assistant send out a 90meg email to everyone in the company (~500 email users). talk about taking down the server. |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-20 02:21
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John-Bob
(unregistered)
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Give him Detention.... Monitors should not smoke in the library. |
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Obligatory pointless bashing:
ActiveColon, Asspose, Codemess, Cockwork, LogicNOP, RailSkids, dickedit, shitlayer, WTF. |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-20 16:10
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by
Dark
(unregistered)
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The real WTF is an email system that handles a separate copy of the rubber ducky for every recipient. (I've never seen an email system that does this right. Which just makes it an even bigger WTF.) |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-20 22:08
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by
alegr
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Oh, this is not an email system. This is email clients fetching the duckie to their local mail file. |
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The turnaround time on that case was iphenomenal... We take Priority 1 cases pretty seriously around here :D
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One of my favorite critical bugs was whilst porting mobile phone games when we got a bug for the Nokia 3510i (a particularly old phone with a screensize of 96 x 65). The Bug read something like:
"The graphics are FAR too pixellated on this device! This is not at all acceptable for users to deal with. This must be fixed!" I wanted to forward the bug on to Nokia, but was told to just close it. :( |
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11 July 2008:
http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/A-Sponsor-Thanks--A-Fridge-Cleaning.aspx 25 July 2008: http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Thanks,-Sponsors!.aspx 15 August 2008: http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/A-Thank-You--Out-of-Place-Pics.aspx 19 September 2008: http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/A-Sponsors-Thanks--Issue-5262-.aspx Your site your rules, but I humbly submit that this is taking the piss. I'm adding this comment to point out that these articles do not encourage me to click the links - in fact, I've just activated AdBlock. |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-22 06:48
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Flatline
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So aside from a blip in July, that's once a month. Is that really that bad? You don't have to READ the bloody thing.
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Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-22 09:07
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PIercy
(unregistered)
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well, i hope your sending donations via paypal. To keep the site running it needs sponsers. Its people like you who destroy community/free sites. you probably pirate software to. captha: decet |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-22 10:48
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Dennis
(unregistered)
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So they were 1:16:00 without coffee. And this is better, how, exactly? |
Re: A Sponsors Thanks & Issue #5262
2008-09-22 12:50
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by
D-Coder
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Around here, we just say "Closed, works as designed." |
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