Comment On Abyssmal Support

I just took a Support job... I hope I'm not working for Company C. Seems like The Abyss would hold about 95% of cases.

I'm just waiting for the jpeg...  

What happened to all the code WTF's?

I'm not a big fan of these recent WTFs.  I miss the potpourri.  :-(

The captcha was most excellent though: craptastic.

I got through to The Actual Fixer once for my "company-that-sounds-like-horizon" DSL line... It was an amazing, gratifying experience (though probably not so gratifying as suggested in that jpg). Only happened once, though.

As is always the case, someone's job is misnamed. The "Receiver" should be "The Deflector," as that minimizes the use of (not the need for!) the support line. The Abyss is probably a workaround for incompetent Deflectors who let too many calls through.

Anonymous:

More like "First"



CAPTCHA: java



Funny, that's what I'm supposed to be learning now...

Mumble something about loving the new typed Collections, and you'll be fine.

Jake Vinson:

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**** her **** and *** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

Agreed... What happened to all the good WTFs

Aaaargh! If any further proof was needed that idiot programmers end up in management, I guess this was it. If this process was a program it wouldn't even compile.

I'd always find disgusting stuff on the PCs I'd clean, including a gem of an ad with a woman inviting the user to (I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**** her **** and *** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******."

I have a very dear friend who used to do PC support, and thankfully has escaped that level of hell for a much more rewarding career: yoga instructor.

She told me that whenever she found a company machine with porn on it, she'd switch it to the "marquee" screensaver and set it to display the message, "I <3 Porn."

I'm not sure what to think of that.

Bus Raker:

This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

give me a U

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

I expect that's actually "**C* her **C* and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******."
But I haven't a clue about the last word.

Bukowski-esque captcha: "paste."

Anonymous:

What happened to all the code WTF's?

This site is "Curious Perversions in Information Technology", not "Curious Perversions in Code".

Actually I see the ALT text for the header is "Curious Pervisions in Information Technology". WTF is a Pervision and where can I get one?

JBL:

I got through to The Actual Fixer once for my "company-that-sounds-like-horizon" DSL line... It was an amazing, gratifying experience (though probably not so gratifying as suggested in that jpg). Only happened once, though.

Back In My Day(TM), I was dense enough to buy a non-IBM PC from a company (sounds like a ringing sound from an old car) that was known for non-standard motherboards, abysmal support, and so on.  I wanted to run this new "Linux" thing on it.  I try to install a distro from discuits I made at work; no go. I called  the support number on the "read me frist, luser" card, and get their front line support call center.  Explained what I wanted, without getting cut off to go into the script "do you have it plugged in," so I'm shocked.  "Hang on a sec, let me get Bob."  Less than a minute later, Bob comes on and tells me to change one of the settings in the firmware, and waits while I try it again.  It all works.  Damn.

Sometimes when it works, it's an even bigger WTF.

It's so messed up that I lost interest reading about it at "The call comes to The Receiver.  The Receiver, despite knowing that The
Actual Fixer is just a few floors away in the same building in the UK,
logs the call in Logging System A to be handled by Canadian Support in
Canada.".... Thank god Alex will be back monday .... sheesh lol...

I don't really wee what your problem is with this. It makes perfect sense that for a Canadian support call, they would transfer to a Canadian Support Centre (note spelling) so that the caller could talk to a native Canadia speaker, or at least someone fluent in Canadian.

sheesh

Abyssmal WTF

Anonymous:

Bus Raker:

This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

give me a U

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

Gimme an O, T, H

"*UC* her CU*T and CU* in her *OUTH," as the user is a "nasty ???????."

That last word could be anything. Next person should try an M.

Anonymous:

Bus Raker:

This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

give me a U

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

it should be *UC* her CU** and CU* in her **U**, as the user is a nasty *******

Anonymous:

Bus Raker:

This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

give me a U

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

How about a S?

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

poochner:

JBL:

I got through to The Actual Fixer once for my "company-that-sounds-like-horizon" DSL line... It was an amazing, gratifying experience (though probably not so gratifying as suggested in that jpg). Only happened once, though.

Back In My Day(TM), I was dense enough to buy a non-IBM PC from a company (sounds like a ringing sound from an old car) that was known for non-standard motherboards, abysmal support, and so on.  I wanted to run this new "Linux" thing on it.  I try to install a distro from discuits I made at work; no go. I called  the support number on the "read me frist, luser" card, and get their front line support call center.  Explained what I wanted, without getting cut off to go into the script "do you have it plugged in," so I'm shocked.  "Hang on a sec, let me get Bob."  Less than a minute later, Bob comes on and tells me to change one of the settings in the firmware, and waits while I try it again.  It all works.  Damn.

Sometimes when it works, it's an even bigger WTF.

Yop. And I suspect Bob switched companies in the meantime.

TankerJoe:

Anonymous:

Bus Raker:

This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

give me a U

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

How about a S?

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

*USS* is wrong, it's redundant and you don't change words midsentence.  think the hole in your face

Anonymous:

Anonymous:

What happened to all the code WTF's?

This site is "Curious Perversions in Information Technology"

And it's slowly getting into the other definition... *sigh*

Non-code WTFs are fine but I think code WTFs (and potpourries) are funnier...

The call comes to The Receiver.  The Receiver, despite knowing that The
Actual Fixer is just a few floors away in the same building in the UK,
logs the call in Logging System A

Are you actually suggesting that The Receiver just go and get The Actual Fixer?  As if The Actual Fixer doesn't have plenty of other things on their plate and can drop everything for every support call relating to him?

p.s. Guys, try a T and an I.

yeah these suck... boo

Anonymous:

The call comes to The Receiver.  The Receiver, despite knowing that The
Actual Fixer is just a few floors away in the same building in the UK,
logs the call in Logging System A

Are you actually suggesting that The Receiver just go and get The Actual Fixer?  As if The Actual Fixer doesn't have plenty of other things on their plate and can drop everything for every support call relating to him?

p.s. Guys, try a T and an I.

I?

weak. sidebar material at best....

Anonymous:

Bus Raker:

This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

give me a U

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

I'd like a 'W'...
    "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."
(Damn.)

I think you have it all wrong.. it is probably:



**C* her **CE and C** in her ***TH," as the user is a "nasty C**S***

TankerJoe:

Anonymous:

Bus Raker:

This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

give me a U

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

How about a S?

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

You guys are terrible at this:  It should now be "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her **U** as the user is a nasty *SS****.

If you still can't figure out the last one... Give me an O!
You guys are terrible at this.  It should now be "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *OU** as the user is a nasty *SS*O**.

TankerJoe:

How about a S?

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her **U**," as the user is a "nasty *******."

Give me a W T F

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "FUC* her CU*T and CU* in her **UT*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

This has got to be it ;)



 "FUC* her FA*E and CU* in her **UT*," as the user is a "nasty CU*SL*T.

Anonymous:

TankerJoe:

Anonymous:

Bus Raker:

This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

give me a U

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

How about a S?

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

You guys are terrible at this:  It should now be "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her **U** as the user is a nasty *SS****.

If you still can't figure out the last one... Give me an O!
You guys are terrible at this.  It should now be "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *OU** as the user is a nasty *SS*O**.

Gimme an H, L, M and T:

*UC* her CU*T and CUM in her MOUTH as the user is a nasty *SSHOL*

No way, It is obviously

"FUC* her in her CU*T and CU* in her *OU*H, as the user is a nasty CU*SL*T"

Harsh:

TankerJoe:

Anonymous:

Bus Raker:

This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

give me a U

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

How about a S?

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

*USS* is wrong, it's redundant and you don't change words midsentence.  think the hole in your face

oooops, my mistake.  I'm married, so I didn't even consider the hole in her face a possibility (anymore)...

well now hang on... that second word could also be TWAT... but I'd bet that last word is PERVERT.

captcha:  STFU

Anonymous:

TankerJoe:

Anonymous:

Bus Raker:

This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

give me a U

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

How about a S?

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

You guys are terrible at this:  It should now be "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her **U** as the user is a nasty *SS****.

If you still can't figure out the last one... Give me an O!

You guys are terrible at this.  It should now be "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *OU** as the user is a nasty *SS*O**.

It would really be hot if the site was for "BI-curious perversions..."

Jake Vinson:

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**** her **** and *** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******."

mock her sobs and joy in her angst, since you're a nasty manager?

We are talking about  HP Business Consulting, Support & Managed Outsourcing IT Services, aren't we?

The call comes to The Receiver.  The Receiver, despite knowing that The
Actual Fixer is just a few floors away in the same building in the UK,
logs the call in Logging System A

Its that Goatse.cx literature?

"Oh man, you wouldn't believe it, at this one company, you call in for support, and if they can't solve it, they TRANSFER your call to AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT DEPARTMENT! And if they resolve it ... get this ... they CLOSE YOUR CASE! BWAAAA HAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HAR HAR HAR, ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS?!?!?"

Worst. WTF. Ever.

No one questions the process because for them 'the abyss' is not a bug, it's a feature. 

Anonymous:

well now hang on... that second word could also be TWAT... but I'd bet that last word is PERVERT.

captcha:  STFU

No ... you don't need to **** out pervert.

 

Maybe it's C*MS*CK

 

Anonymous:

Agreed... What happened to all the good WTFs

As Alex said sometime last week, he's gone away for a bit so this guy is filling in, i guess the WTFs will be back to normal when alex is

Look at what they say right after it:

Speaking of nasty *******s, the large multinational tech support corporation that Doly G. works for has a unique structure.

It's clearly AHole.

Anonymous:

Anonymous:

What happened to all the code WTF's?

This site is "Curious Perversions in Information Technology", not "Curious Perversions in Code".

Actually I see the ALT text for the header is "Curious Pervisions in Information Technology". WTF is a Pervision and where can I get one?

you pervit.

captcha=felchbag

Harsh:

TankerJoe:

Anonymous:

Bus Raker:

This is boring .. let's play HANGMAN .... Give me an 'C'

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "**C* her C*** and C** in her *****," as the user is a "nasty *******." 

Speaking of nasty *******s,

give me a U

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *U***," as the user is a "nasty *******."

How about a S?

(I'm phrasing this as nicely as I can) "*UC* her CU** and CU* in her *USS*," as the user is a "nasty *******."

*USS* is wrong, it's redundant and you don't change words midsentence.  think the hole in your face

I think someone is a little too familiar with this advertisement.

Oh wow, I was thinking something totally different for the ***.  Had to do with other body fluids though.

Does this make me a pervert?

Jake Vinson:

as the user is a "nasty *******."

I think the word you're looking for is BEANBAG.

"Read her mail and sit in her chair," as the user is a "nasty fighter."

-Wang-Lo.