• NAME (unregistered)

    I am very interested in JOB TITLE because I've been wanting to move to CITY, COUNTRY. Here is my

    SHORT MOTIVATION LETTER

    but you can forget the

    CV IN WORD FORMAT

    because real men don't use Word. Sorry.

  • Jeff (unregistered)

    The boilerplate reveals that EVERY job is pitched as "fantastic".

    Liar.

    Ploink!

  • NAME (unregistered)

    The real wtf is THE REAL WTF.

    But I disagree with PREVIOUS POSTER because REASON WHY PREVIOUS POSTER IS A MORON.

    COMPLAINT ABOUT AKISMET. Also, MEME.

  • Ken (unregistered)
    we need 3 company car for bug hunt on Monday
    This short email reveals so many layers of WTF it is hard to count them all!

    Never mind that the writer probably meant

    We need 3 company cars for the bug hunt on Mondayperiod
    You can just chalk that up to common daily illiteracy, ignorance, and/or laziness. Or perhaps they're just too stupid to find their way out of a paper bag.

    No, what's more troubling here is that the writer apparently thought that you just declare your "needs" to the entire company and through some miracle they will magically be fulfilled.

    This is like the guy at the airport who keeps announcing over the loudspeaker "we need two wheelchairs at gate B27". Let me guess. The wheelchairs are all patched in to a wireless network, so they can communicate with each other and nominate which two will respond? But the gate agent doesn't have access to the same network?

    I'd be tempted to reply-all "and we need just one sane person in SENDER'S DEPARTMENT".

  • NAME (unregistered) in reply to NAME
    NAME:
    The real wtf is THE REAL WTF.

    But I disagree with PREVIOUS POSTER because REASON WHY PREVIOUS POSTER IS A MORON.

    COMPLAINT ABOUT AKISMET. Also, MEME.

    Frist of all, you stole my NAME. As in, I got first post today and you didn't. Making you the MORON.

    Second, you forgot CAPTCHA.

  • Pero Perić (unregistered) in reply to NAME
    Mark Bowytz:
    PAGE SOURCE COMMENT
    At my job, we use crossbows to hunt bugs. And sometimes blamebat.
  • Jim Blog (unregistered) in reply to Ken
    Ken:
    we need 3 company car for bug hunt on Monday
    This short email reveals so many layers of WTF it is hard to count them all!

    Never mind that the writer probably meant

    We need 3 company cars for the bug hunt on Mondayperiod
    You can just chalk that up to common daily illiteracy, ignorance, and/or laziness. Or perhaps they're just too stupid to find their way out of a paper bag.

    Even correcting the grammar doesn't reveal the meaning though. Why do you need company cars for a bug hunt? Whether we're talking software bugs or little flying insect bugs, you don't typically hunt either using automobiles...

    Maybe they meant "big hunt", which still doesn't make sense as such, but at least offers a widened area of vagueness where maybe, just maybe, someone can surmise a purpose for 3 company cars...

  • P.Q. (unregistered) in reply to Jim Blog
    Jim Blog:
    Even correcting the grammar doesn't reveal the meaning though. Why do you need company cars for a bug hunt? Whether we're talking software bugs or little flying insect bugs, you don't typically hunt either using automobiles...

    Well, I laughed at first, afterwards I started to shower and cry. It all depends on the context. You need cars to hunt down bugs in the ECUs.

  • (cs) in reply to Jim Blog
    Jim Blog:
    Ken:
    we need 3 company car for bug hunt on Monday
    This short email reveals so many layers of WTF it is hard to count them all!

    Why do you need company cars for a bug hunt? Whether we're talking software bugs or little flying insect bugs, you don't typically hunt either using automobiles...

    Perhaps they develop automotive software. In which case, I'd hope that most of the bugs are already hunted out before the cars get on the road.

  • (cs) in reply to Jim Blog
    Jim Blog:
    Why do you need company cars for a bug hunt? Whether we're talking software bugs or little flying insect bugs, you don't typically hunt either using automobiles...
    That's what the windshield and radiator grille are for.
  • Luddite (unregistered) in reply to sibtrag
    sibtrag:
    we need 3 company car for bug hunt on Monday
    Perhaps they develop automotive software.
    That's it! I'm heading deep into the mountains where there are no roads. So long and thanks for all the fish.
  • bughunter (unregistered) in reply to Jim Blog
    Jim Blog:
    Ken:
    we need 3 company car for bug hunt on Monday
    This short email reveals so many layers of WTF it is hard to count them all!

    Never mind that the writer probably meant

    We need 3 company cars for the bug hunt on Mondayperiod
    You can just chalk that up to common daily illiteracy, ignorance, and/or laziness. Or perhaps they're just too stupid to find their way out of a paper bag.

    Even correcting the grammar doesn't reveal the meaning though. Why do you need company cars for a bug hunt? Whether we're talking software bugs or little flying insect bugs, you don't typically hunt either using automobiles...

    Maybe they meant "big hunt", which still doesn't make sense as such, but at least offers a widened area of vagueness where maybe, just maybe, someone can surmise a purpose for 3 company cars...

    Bug hunt is accurate. They release all their programmers into a field, on foot of course, and then chase them down in whatever junkers show up to the event. Points are scored in the aftermath by counting up the bugs attributed to each programmer a player bags.

  • Kasper (unregistered) in reply to NAME
    NAME:
    I am very interested in JOB TITLE because I've been wanting to move to CITY, COUNTRY. Here is my

    SHORT MOTIVATION LETTER

    but you can forget the

    CV IN WORD FORMAT

    because real men don't use Word. Sorry.

    Your reply says everything I would have wanted to write. You just stated it in a much more elegant way than I could have done. I don't understand why your comment is not featured yet.

  • (cs)

    Hey Wouter, could you pass on the resume below to them?

    Contact information: NAME ADDRESS Phone: CELL PHONE (Cell), HOME PHONE (Home) E-MAIL

    Education: DEGREE in MAJOR from UNIVERSITY in YEAR with GPA.

    Work experience: CURRENT JOB TITLE at CURRENT COMPANY NAME in CITY, COUNTRY (START DATE - Present)

    • LIST OF RESPONSIBILITIES PAST JOB TITLE at COMPANY NAME in CITY, COUNTRY (START DATE - END DATE)
    • LIST OF RESPONSIBILITIES OBVIOUSLY IRRELEVANT JOB LISTED SOLELY FOR PADDING PURPOSES at COMPANY NAME in CITY, COUNTRY (START DATE - END DATE)
    • BUZZWORD-LADEN DESCRIPTION
    • OVERLY EXAGGERATED LIST OF ACHIEVEMENTS
    And for the motivation letter:
    Dear MR OR MRS LAST NAME:

    I am applying for JOB TITLE because REASON. I am extremely excited about working with COMPANY NAME, because I know the company is BUTT-KISSING ADJECTIVES.

    I believe my YEARS years of experience in FIELD combined with my SKILLS make me a perfect fit for JOB TITLE.

    I can start as early as DATE.

    Thank you for your consideration.

    Regards,

    NAME

    (Seriously, I'd love it if someone with their contact information could send them the above and see how they react.)
  • (cs)

    Maybe one of the bug hunters is Gordon Freeman, and the bugs in question are antlions? Maybe it's a viral marketing scheme for HL3, which is totally coming out soon, obviously. If you decode the letter frequencies in the email message, run it through a few filters and factor out some primes, the result is 122512, which obviously means HL3 is coming out on Christmas.

  • AGray (unregistered) in reply to Pero Perić
    Pero Perić:
    Mark Bowytz:
    PAGE SOURCE COMMENT
    At my job, we use crossbows to hunt bugs. And sometimes blamebat.

    In Texas, we hunt bugs with guns.

  • NaN (Not a Name) (unregistered) in reply to AGray
    AGray:
    Pero Perić:
    Mark Bowytz:
    PAGE SOURCE COMMENT
    At my job, we use crossbows to hunt bugs. And sometimes blamebat.

    In Texas, we hunt bugs with guns.

    Like in the video game Redneck Rampage

  • ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL (unregistered) in reply to NAME
    NAME:
    I am very interested in JOB TITLE because I've been wanting to move to CITY, COUNTRY. Here is my

    SHORT MOTIVATION LETTER

    but you can forget the

    CV IN WORD FORMAT

    because real men don't use Word. Sorry.

    That's why I send my resume in .RTF (not .WTF) format. Down under the hood it's a text-based format, it's supported by standard mini-apps included in both Winderz and OS X, and Wurd will open it properly without any complaint.

    What they really want is to be able to paste their HOLY CONSLUTANT BRANDING WE ARE SUCH AWEZUMM REKROOTERZ[tm] into your resume before they forward it on. ("enhancements" are optional) Word is the only format they know, because Microsoft == all of computing (non-mobile, at least). Plain text has almost no formatting, and they would have to do actual work to reformat it.

  • golddog (unregistered) in reply to Jim Blog
    Jim Blog:
    Ken:
    we need 3 company car for bug hunt on Monday
    This short email reveals so many layers of WTF it is hard to count them all!

    Never mind that the writer probably meant

    We need 3 company cars for the bug hunt on Mondayperiod
    You can just chalk that up to common daily illiteracy, ignorance, and/or laziness. Or perhaps they're just too stupid to find their way out of a paper bag.

    Even correcting the grammar doesn't reveal the meaning though. Why do you need company cars for a bug hunt? Whether we're talking software bugs or little flying insect bugs, you don't typically hunt either using automobiles...

    Maybe they meant "big hunt", which still doesn't make sense as such, but at least offers a widened area of vagueness where maybe, just maybe, someone can surmise a purpose for 3 company cars...

    bog hunt. Althought they weren't specific enough; they need Land Rovers or some such to drive around in the bog, not just any old car.

    Maybe more a military semi-amphibious vehicle; we don't know that this company isn't "The Company".

  • (cs)

    You beat me to it -- if I am asked for stuff in Word format (outside of work proper, of course), whenever I can I substitute RTF, the people on the other side can't tell the difference since, hey, it opens with Word. Unfortunately sometimes they require the use of a template with document properties and I can't get around that.

    And sorry to go all off-topic by putting a sensible remark, but mobile phone software testing may be a reasonable theory for hunting bugs with cars.

  • (cs)

    I read "Wouter".

    I thought of the thing that Johnathan Woss uses for his bwoadband.

  • Shachar (unregistered)

    I'm the original poster. I'm enjoying the comment thread way too much to spoil it by saying what the bug hunt really meant. I think I'll come back in 24 hours and fill you all in, if anyone is really interested.

    I'll just point out that the grammar errors are, probably, because the company policy is to issue all emails in English, despite the fact that our R&D is located in Israel, where almost everyone know English to some degree, but very few know it well. Some would say this is TRWTF, and I can't even say particularly disagree.

    Shachar

  • Brent (unregistered) in reply to Jeff
    Jeff:
    The boilerplate reveals that EVERY job is pitched as "fantastic".

    Liar.

    Ploink!

    "Existing only in imagination"... I'm willing to believe that the jobs they're offering might all be that.

  • the power of Grayskull (unregistered)
    MBA does apologise when this job does not match your profile.
    At least they're not deluding themselves.
  • GotCars (unregistered) in reply to Ken
    we need 3 company car for bug hunt on Monday
    Maybe that request came from the Apple Maps validation team.

    They should have asked for more car.

  • (cs)

    Nobody has remarked on the real meaning of "bug hunt". Let me remind you...

    Hudson: Is this gonna be a standup fight, sir, or another bughunt? Gorman: All we know is that there's still no contact with the colony, and that a xenomorph may be involved. Frost: Excuse me sir, a-a what? Gorman: A xenomorph. Hicks: It's a bughunt.

  • (cs) in reply to ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL
    ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL:
    What they really want is to be able to paste their HOLY CONSLUTANT BRANDING WE ARE SUCH AWEZUMM REKROOTERZ[tm] into the tattered remains of your resume before they forward it on.
    There, FTFY.
  • (cs) in reply to Steve The Cynic

    Game over, man. GAME OVER.

  • Robin Lee (unregistered)
  • Joe (unregistered) in reply to Shachar
    Shachar:
    our R&D is located in Israel

    So the point of asking everyone in the global company for a car to be provided for an event in Israel is... Ah, right. Well, I'm up for a road trip, I'll get on the next US-Israel ferry.

    --Joe

  • "Roy" (unregistered) in reply to AGray
    AGray:
    Pero Perić:
    Mark Bowytz:
    PAGE SOURCE COMMENT
    At my job, we use crossbows to hunt bugs. And sometimes blamebat.

    In Texas, we hunt bugs with guns.

    A lot of people have asked us why we don't use fly spray. Well, where's the sport in that?

  • immitto (unregistered)

    Just today I read about a Spanish TV program that was sued for violating privacy for that same exact reason (361 addresses in the response).

    [image][image][image]

    Why does CC even exist? Doesn't it make more sense to have just TO and BCC?

  • Garrison Fiord (unregistered) in reply to immitto

    Duh, have you ever worked in a professional environment? TO is when you want someone to respond, CC is when you want to FYI someone, whereas the TO contains the real person who should answer the question. BCC is when you want to include someone (that you trust, for laughs) on the idiocy of the original writer's email.

  • Gale Hawthorne (unregistered) in reply to Pero Perić
    Pero Perić:
    At my job, we use crossbows to hunt bugs.
    Katniss? Is that you?
  • Ken B (unregistered) in reply to Jim Blog
    Jim Blog:
    Ken:
    we need 3 company car for bug hunt on Monday
    This short email reveals so many layers of WTF it is hard to count them all!

    Never mind that the writer probably meant

    We need 3 company cars for the bug hunt on Mondayperiod
    You can just chalk that up to common daily illiteracy, ignorance, and/or laziness. Or perhaps they're just too stupid to find their way out of a paper bag.

    Even correcting the grammar doesn't reveal the meaning though. Why do you need company cars for a bug hunt? Whether we're talking software bugs or little flying insect bugs, you don't typically hunt either using automobiles...

    Maybe they meant "big hunt", which still doesn't make sense as such, but at least offers a widened area of vagueness where maybe, just maybe, someone can surmise a purpose for 3 company cars...

    Perhaps the fleet of company cars has become infested? They need 3 cars for the "bug hunt" in order to help track down the source. Then they can fumigate the fleet and prevent a reinfestation.

  • Zunesis (unregistered)

    I have nothing to add.

  • vereor (unregistered)

    CRAP, CRAP, FUCKING CRAP

  • Ken B (unregistered) in reply to Shachar
    Shachar:
    I'm the original poster. ... I'll just point out that the grammar errors are, probably, because the company policy is to issue all emails in English, despite the fact that our R&D is located in Israel, where almost everyone know English to some degree, but very few know it well. Some would say this is TRWTF, and I can't even say particularly disagree.
    Everyone knows that the Internet works in left-to-right only. If you were to try sending an e-mail in Hebrew, you'd have to reverse the polarity on every router on the net. Anyone who's seen "Journey to the Far Side of the Sun" knows that this often doesn't end well.
  • (cs) in reply to immitto
    immitto:
    Why does CC even exist?
    So you can threaten people by including the addresses of their manager, CEO, lawyer or "[email protected]" in it.
  • (cs) in reply to ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL
    ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL:
    That's why I send my resume in .RTF (not .WTF) format. Down under the hood it's a text-based format, it's supported by standard mini-apps included in both Winderz and OS X, and Wurd will open it properly without any complaint.

    What they really want is to be able to paste their HOLY CONSLUTANT BRANDING WE ARE SUCH AWEZUMM REKROOTERZ[tm] into your resume before they forward it on. ("enhancements" are optional) Word is the only format they know, because Microsoft == all of computing (non-mobile, at least). Plain text has almost no formatting, and they would have to do actual work to reformat it.

    Once a long time ago, one of the job boards wanted you to post a resume into the text space it gave you so I just posted in RTF format. None of the recruiters that called me were able to decipher it in spite of my instructions.

    I also once worked on converting between Quark Express and RTF, which was supposed to be a "portable standard" and realised even back in 1996 that RTF should really have been called WTF as it essentially was Word, with all its features and no features outside of it, like "keep with previous", something that has been requested as a feature in Word for several years now and never implemented.

    I also noted that stylesheets were never implemented properly and that Word produced very bloated RTF when you saved in that format and I was able to produce the same output with far less fuss.

    Incidentally Quark Express was a FAR better editor than Word but was a lot more expensive so while it was used professionally, i.e. when making posters or newspapers and magazines, but not by your general office letter or documentation for which Word "will do" as you do not need such precise formatting.

    Remember that Microsoft was developing their products for exactly that purpose, i.e. the casual writer.

    What my tool did was allow the user to create something in Word then "port" it to Quark via RTF format, where they could then apply the "finishing touches", e.g. getting the text to fit perfectly in the box.

  • (cs) in reply to Cbuttius

    To be fair, Word is a word processor, and Quark is a typesetting tool. While they have a fair bit of feature overlap, they're not intended to solve the same problems. Neither of them is what I'd call a decent "editor"- but that's because editors should be about text, not layout. Write in plaintext, format in Word, Quark or whatever suits you.

  • JJ (unregistered)

    In Soviet Union, bug hunts you.

  • Ken B (unregistered) in reply to Remy Porter
    Remy Porter:
    Neither of them is what I'd call a decent "editor"- but that's because editors should be about text, not layout. Write in plaintext, format in Word, Quark or whatever suits you.
    That's what I keep telling my kids, who will sit there for 10 minutes formatting the heading of their schoolwork until it's "just right". I keep telling them "write the information first, and worry about formatting it once you're done". It doesn't seem to stick, because the next day, we're back to square one again.
  • (cs) in reply to Ken B

    The only time I format/write at the same time is when I'm using Word's outline mode, and that's only for specific work documents that actually map to that structure. Rest of the time, it's text first, formatting second.

  • Lerch98 (unregistered) in reply to AGray

    I love Texas!

    captcha wisi; I wish I was in Texas.

  • Coder (unregistered)

    If I had to guess, I'd say that a bug hunt is a dedicated activity that happens at the end of a week/sprint/month/whatever, where everyone stops working on new functionality and goes to a shared lab where they do nothing but test things all day. (That's based on James Whittaker's use of the phrase in his book "How to Break Software".)

  • (cs) in reply to Ken B

    [quote user="Ken BThat's what I keep telling my kids, who will sit there for 10 minutes formatting the heading of their schoolwork until it's "just right". I keep telling them "write the information first, and worry about formatting it once you're done". It doesn't seem to stick, because the next day, we're back to square one again.[/quote]

    Introduce them to stylesheets.

    Used to be on the front menu in old Word and got pushed further and further into the background. I was trained to use them when I did that RTF translator, and was told it was the correct thing to use for text formatting.

    I have always assigned Alt-1 to Heading 1, Alt-2 to Heading 2 and Alt-3 to Heading 3, write most of the text in Body Text and some pre-formatted. Turn all auto-correction off. What I type is what I mean.

  • sunnyboy (unregistered) in reply to Garrison Fiord

    I don't completely agree.

    TO is the person who you are supposed to send it to, and who is supposed to reply.

    CC is often for the person with the authority to see that the "TO" person actually gets off their bottom and replies.

    As for TO & BCC, I agree:

    BCC is wonderful when you have to send to multiple persons but there may be FOIP (freedom of information) issues with revealing all the persons to one another (i.e. sending emails to a class of students).

    You send it TO yourself and BCC all the students.

  • Ralph (unregistered) in reply to Cbuttius
    Cbuttius:
    Remember that Microsoft was developing their products for exactly that purpose, i.e. the casual writer.
    Then why do they keep adding umpty-gazillion features that nobody uses?

    Oh yeah I remember now. So they can force everyone to keep buying the same thing over and over when they change document formats.

    Only two types of people use MS office products: blissfully ignorant and masochistically idiotic.

    "But we just can't switch to something free because the underline button isn't in exactly the same place!" /whine

    Right, but we can totally throw away the familiar look and feel of all the menus and toolbars and make a convoluted completely new set of keystrokes to learn and people will swallow deeply and keep sucking hard.

  • old guy (unregistered)

    There was a time when real men did not use Word. I think it was around the time of Windows95b when MS introduced a version that finally had a usable interface and feature set (features "copied" from the competition).

    Before that it was horribly bad and most people preferred WordPerfect, AmiPro, clip something, and the rest.

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