Comment On Classic WTF: The Complicator's Gloves

Actually heated handle bar grips is not as insain and over complicated as you might think

As my motorbike has them

Let me tell you, 120 km/h winds at 3 degrees above freezing (Celsius)... with rain, thick gloves don't do it, more importantly the more material you have between you and the handle bar grips means the less feel you have for the bike.

Bikes communicate a fair bit of information through the handlebars, the less muffled those signals are, the safer you are.

EatenByAGrue:

Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

Bahamas National Guard is aware that bats are mammals.
What do you do now?

1. Gloves.
2. Consider "Hot Hands" heating products: Small pads that get warm when exposed to the air.

Using both together should keep your hands pretty warm.

Seraph:

Dink:

Reminds me of the development of the ballpoint pen with the ink pump so our astronauts could write in zero-g. The Soviets solved the same problem with pencils.

So you think re-engineering a whole space vehicle to tolerate the tiny pieces of conductive graphite that a pencil would have relesed is a less complicated idea then designing a pen?

Use softer lead. Or real lead, as in Pb which is why we call graphite 'lead'. No residue. Somehow I doubt the astronauts would have the same problem with lead poisoning as, say, schoolkids with nervous chewing habits.

Suomynona:

lolwtf:

Jorgey Porgey:

Alison:

Uber:

EatenByAGrue:

TakeASeatOverThere:

Uber:

newfweiler:

akatherder:

snoofle:

causa:

Christopher:

Zan Lynx:

The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

It's called "blood".

I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

What do you do now?

Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

It is too cold to start a fire.

What do you do now?

Freeze to death.

You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

What do you do now?

Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

What do you do now?

You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

Now what do you do?

Laugh at the national guard for using silver bullets (those are for werewolves, not vampires), turn all the national guard into vampires and take over the world.

Your immortal, took over the world, outlasted everybody, and watched all the movies ever made. You're bored. What do you do now?!

Explore the universe.

The Universal Police Force has been tipped off to an immortal on Earth and have encapsulated the planet in a giant hollow unbreakable sphere.

I know I'm going to get the Captian Obvious Award for this, but...

This is asinine.

Captcha: haero

Suomynona:

lolwtf:

Jorgey Porgey:

Alison:

Uber:

EatenByAGrue:

TakeASeatOverThere:

Uber:

newfweiler:

akatherder:

snoofle:

causa:

Christopher:

Zan Lynx:

The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

It's called "blood".

I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

What do you do now?

Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

It is too cold to start a fire.

What do you do now?

Freeze to death.

You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

What do you do now?

Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

What do you do now?

You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

Now what do you do?

Laugh at the national guard for using silver bullets (those are for werewolves, not vampires), turn all the national guard into vampires and take over the world.

Your immortal, took over the world, outlasted everybody, and watched all the movies ever made. You're bored. What do you do now?!

Explore the universe.

The Universal Police Force has been tipped off to an immortal on Earth and have encapsulated the planet in a giant hollow unbreakable sphere.

Wait a few hundreds of thousands of years for all of this to decompose, the whole enclosed atmosphere to superheat, create new primordial ooze, and wait for it all to evolve consciousness again. I'm immortal and bored anyway, so I can wait a little while.

yeah, a grip in/on teh handles. That will work well! Nevermind that the cold comes from the OUTside, from the chilly wind. Frozen outside, fried from the inside.

A great career in open source and javashit awaits.

The average fit cyclist can put about 150 watts of energy into their bicycle's pedals going uphill, and much less than that (75 watts?) at other times. Olympian cycling athletes put about 300 watts of energy into their bicycle's pedals.

So, if you wanted to pedal as hard as you did on a 3 speed bicycle going uphill, but go nowhere, using a generator on the pedals you'd get just a little more than the equivalent heat of a 60 watt lightbulb out of those handlebars. Let's say you realize this and use a battery. A car battery for a compact car (wouldn't that be fun to lug around) usually stores about 60 A/h. That's enough to heat your handlebars to the equivalent heat you get from your rear window defogger for about 4 hours. At least your handlebars won't have frost on them!

For reference, your hairdryer uses 1875 watts...

Physics is a bitch, isn't it.

VChu:

Now if we develop a turbo for the heart which would pump the blood faster...

Oh, once it hits civilian use, you'll love a UNATCO-brand synthetic heart. It circulates not only blood but a steady concentration of mechanochemical power cells, smart phagocytes, and liposomes containing prefab diamondoid machine parts, resulting in upgraded performance for all installed augmentations.

Dink:

Reminds me of the development of the ballpoint pen with the ink pump so our astronauts could write in zero-g. The Soviets solved the same problem with pencils.

Actually thats a bit of an urban legend..
Can you imagine using a pencil in 0 G? Where would the tiny flakes of excess graphite go? in your eyes, thats where! :)
Unless they had a special space pencil... perhaps with some kind of sucker attachment to suck up the excess...

Steve:

Dink:

Reminds me of the development of the ballpoint pen with the ink pump so our astronauts could write in zero-g. The Soviets solved the same problem with pencils.

Yeah, but what aobut pencil shavings in zero G? You'd need a vacuum attachment on the pencil sharpener to . . .

DAMN YOU AND YOUR FASTER RESPONSE!!!!

Procedural:

Suomynona:

lolwtf:

Jorgey Porgey:

Alison:

Uber:

EatenByAGrue:

TakeASeatOverThere:

Uber:

newfweiler:

akatherder:

snoofle:

causa:

Christopher:

Zan Lynx:

The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

It's called "blood".

I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

What do you do now?

Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

It is too cold to start a fire.

What do you do now?

Freeze to death.

You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

What do you do now?

Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

What do you do now?

You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

Now what do you do?

Laugh at the national guard for using silver bullets (those are for werewolves, not vampires), turn all the national guard into vampires and take over the world.

Your immortal, took over the world, outlasted everybody, and watched all the movies ever made. You're bored. What do you do now?!

Explore the universe.

The Universal Police Force has been tipped off to an immortal on Earth and have encapsulated the planet in a giant hollow unbreakable sphere.

Wait a few hundreds of thousands of years for all of this to decompose, the whole enclosed atmosphere to superheat, create new primordial ooze, and wait for it all to evolve consciousness again. I'm immortal and bored anyway, so I can wait a little while.

Evolution creates one dominant species that mainly occupies itself by reading and posting stupid things on a global network. What do you do?

...and run some flexible tubes from the tip of the sleeves to the midriff (which never seems to get cold).

And the reason for that is to avoid hypothermia. In carrying out this suggestion, one would be reversing the effects of a very important human adaptation that allows survival in extreme cold. The guy who suggested gloves sort of screwed up the evolutionary process in this case, and has allowed these idiots to live longer and as such be able to pee into the gene pool, making the world an even /better/ place in which to live. Great going.

Wayne:

OK, genius.

What about in the summertime? How do you bike to work without sweating like a pig when you get there.

Answer (at least around these parts): You don't.

You'll never make a scientist with that sort of attitude.

What you should do is ride a tandem and wear as little as you feel you can get away with. Carry a fan or a whip if you're still too hot.

If you are going to make it complicated, at least make it useful. The world's warmest clothing is made by Gerbing's, and now they sell LiPo-battery heated gloves with adjustable heat. Let me tell you, that stuff is awesome! Easy to use and very comfy, but technologically more complicated than normal gloves. At least it's designed by experts...

dtech:

Procedural:

Suomynona:

lolwtf:

Jorgey Porgey:

Alison:

Uber:

EatenByAGrue:

TakeASeatOverThere:

Uber:

newfweiler:

akatherder:

snoofle:

causa:

Christopher:

Zan Lynx:

The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

It's called "blood".

I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

What do you do now?

Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

It is too cold to start a fire.

What do you do now?

Freeze to death.

You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

What do you do now?

Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

What do you do now?

You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

Now what do you do?

Laugh at the national guard for using silver bullets (those are for werewolves, not vampires), turn all the national guard into vampires and take over the world.

Your immortal, took over the world, outlasted everybody, and watched all the movies ever made. You're bored. What do you do now?!

Explore the universe.

The Universal Police Force has been tipped off to an immortal on Earth and have encapsulated the planet in a giant hollow unbreakable sphere.

Wait a few hundreds of thousands of years for all of this to decompose, the whole enclosed atmosphere to superheat, create new primordial ooze, and wait for it all to evolve consciousness again. I'm immortal and bored anyway, so I can wait a little while.

Evolution creates one dominant species that mainly occupies itself by reading and posting stupid things on a global network. What do you do?

Join in.

Steve:

Dink:

Reminds me of the development of the ballpoint pen with the ink pump so our astronauts could write in zero-g. The Soviets solved the same problem with pencils.

Yeah, but what aobut pencil shavings in zero G? You'd need a vacuum attachment on the pencil sharpener to . . .

That's actually an urban legend (check snopes). A private company, Fischer, developed a pressurized ink pen without NASA funding then sold some of them to NASA. Prior to this, NASA used pencils. Also, the Soviets switched to using the space pen shortly after it was available on the market.

Anon.:

dtech:

Procedural:

Suomynona:

lolwtf:

Jorgey Porgey:

Alison:

Uber:

EatenByAGrue:

TakeASeatOverThere:

Uber:

newfweiler:

akatherder:

snoofle:

causa:

Christopher:

Zan Lynx:

The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

It's called "blood".

I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

What do you do now?

Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

It is too cold to start a fire.

What do you do now?

Freeze to death.

You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

What do you do now?

Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

What do you do now?

You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

Now what do you do?

Laugh at the national guard for using silver bullets (those are for werewolves, not vampires), turn all the national guard into vampires and take over the world.

Your immortal, took over the world, outlasted everybody, and watched all the movies ever made. You're bored. What do you do now?!

Explore the universe.

The Universal Police Force has been tipped off to an immortal on Earth and have encapsulated the planet in a giant hollow unbreakable sphere.

Wait a few hundreds of thousands of years for all of this to decompose, the whole enclosed atmosphere to superheat, create new primordial ooze, and wait for it all to evolve consciousness again. I'm immortal and bored anyway, so I can wait a little while.

Evolution creates one dominant species that mainly occupies itself by reading and posting stupid things on a global network. What do you do?

Join in.

Welcome mister Vampire. What do you do now?

Robin Goodfellow:

Steve:

Dink:

Reminds me of the development of the ballpoint pen with the ink pump so our astronauts could write in zero-g. The Soviets solved the same problem with pencils.

Yeah, but what aobut pencil shavings in zero G? You'd need a vacuum attachment on the pencil sharpener to . . .

That's actually an urban legend (check snopes). A private company, Fischer, developed a pressurized ink pen without NASA funding then sold some of them to NASA. Prior to this, NASA used pencils. Also, the Soviets switched to using the space pen shortly after it was available on the market.

i still think you should just use real lead on everything including radiation-proof toothpicks.

Christopher:

I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

What do you do now?

Steal your bike.

Robin Goodfellow:

Steve:

Dink:

Reminds me of the development of the ballpoint pen with the ink pump so our astronauts could write in zero-g. The Soviets solved the same problem with pencils.

Yeah, but what aobut pencil shavings in zero G? You'd need a vacuum attachment on the pencil sharpener to . . .

That's actually an urban legend (check snopes). A private company, Fischer, developed a pressurized ink pen without NASA funding then sold some of them to NASA. Prior to this, NASA used pencils. Also, the Soviets switched to using the space pen shortly after it was available on the market.

I actually remember buying one of those "space pens" back in the 1960s when I was in high school. They were pretty cheap. I seem to recall that they tended to leak ink (at least the consumer versions, not the NASA versions).

Laugh at the national guard for not knowing that silver bullets are for werewolves and getting drunk - they have nothing to do with vampires.

That said, since the national guard is launching silver bullets in my direction I will use said silver bullets to get nice and toasted, thereby eliminating the problem with having cold hands.

captcha: appellatio - is that some kind of sexual exploit with a piece of fruit?

dtech:

Evolution creates one dominant species that mainly occupies itself by reading and posting stupid things on a global network. What do you do?

Holy crap, so that's what happened!

The voice of reason:

Laugh at the national guard for not knowing that silver bullets are for werewolves and getting drunk - they have nothing to do with vampires.

This isn't quite true. Vampire myths evolved over a long period of time, there isn't just one absolute set of rules. In most myths silver is considered a holy metal and effective against all undead/unholy monsters, including vampires (for a recent example, see the Blade movies).

Vic Tim:

Suomynona:

lolwtf:

Jorgey Porgey:

Alison:

Uber:

EatenByAGrue:

TakeASeatOverThere:

Uber:

newfweiler:

akatherder:

snoofle:

causa:

Christopher:

Zan Lynx:

The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

It's called "blood".

I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

What do you do now?

Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

It is too cold to start a fire.

What do you do now?

Freeze to death.

You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

What do you do now?

Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

What do you do now?

You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

Now what do you do?

Laugh at the national guard for using silver bullets (those are for werewolves, not vampires), turn all the national guard into vampires and take over the world.

Your immortal, took over the world, outlasted everybody, and watched all the movies ever made. You're bored. What do you do now?!

Explore the universe.

The Universal Police Force has been tipped off to an immortal on Earth and have encapsulated the planet in a giant hollow unbreakable sphere.

I know I'm going to get the Captian Obvious Award for this, but...

This is asinine.

Captcha: haero

Captain Obvious awards are not given to people who can't spell "Captain". What do you do now?

I thought the correct (and traditional) response was "Buy a car you stinking hippy!".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand_warmer ?

Work like a charm :)

Charles400:

I have to keep telling my proctologist that. Gloves.

You're doing OK if he's using his hands

Steve:

However, two (or more) guys will start speculating and weaving elaborate scenarios or theories, adding up to considerably less than nothing.

There's probably some X (Y?) chromosome linkage involved. . .

Not to pick you up on your genetics (I know someone else did that already) but I have a female friend who always tries to end arguments she's coming off badly in by saying "Well, none of us are experts." It's an interesting inversion of your point - groups of men refuse to admit they know nothing; my friend refuses to admit that anyone else knows anything!

shepd:

So, if you wanted to pedal as hard as you did on a 3 speed bicycle going uphill, but go nowhere, using a generator on the pedals you'd get just a little more than the equivalent heat of a 60 watt lightbulb out of those handlebars.

I don't see that as being a problem - I'm pretty sure the idea was to warm the hand, not sear the flesh (a 60 watt light bulb gets pretty hot at close contact).

Rand:

Vampire myths evolved over a long period of time, there isn't just one absolute set of rules. In most myths silver is considered a holy metal and effective against all undead/unholy monsters, including vampires.

Not to mention cybermen...

I don't see that as being a problem - I'm pretty sure the idea was to warm the hand, not sear the flesh (a 60 watt light bulb gets pretty hot at close contact).

Not only that, but a 60 watt bulb is not just putting out heat. For some reason, 60 watt bulbs waste a fair bit of their energy input by putting out visible light instead of maximizing their heat output.

Wayne:

I don't see that as being a problem - I'm pretty sure the idea was to warm the hand, not sear the flesh (a 60 watt light bulb gets pretty hot at close contact).

Not only that, but a 60 watt bulb is not just putting out heat. For some reason, 60 watt bulbs waste a fair bit of their energy input by putting out visible light instead of maximizing their heat output.

Only a negligible amount :)

BTW, some cars have heated steering wheels, (and they're great on cold days!). You can hardly feel the heat if you just touch them, but they're nice and cosy once you keep your hands there for a few seconds. I'd suspect the power output is just a few watts, if that (far, far less than a heated rear window), otherwise it would damage the leather of the steering wheel, and it would be too hot to hold comfortably (which would be sort of dangerous...)


Of course, the problem with heated handlebars is that the main loss of heat would be on the outside of the hand, not where the handlebar is. With a heated steering wheel the main loss of heat is the freezing cold steering wheel that's been sat outside in the sub-zero night. Your hairy skin is quite good at insulating against loss of heat to still air, but not against touching something cold or rapidly moving cold air.

So, heated gloves would be far more effective than heated handlebars, whereas a heated steering wheel works fine.

SomeCoder:

Jeff:

Actually, the product already exists. For motorcycles anyway. Heated grips and/or gloves are very popular for riding in the winter, although a good pair of gloves and a wind-blocking shield for the grips usually work well enough.

So those wind blocking shields work? I would like to get something like that for my motorcycle because no, gloves don't really cut it if it's really cold and you're going down the freeway at 60 MPH.

So buy a god damned car ffs! 10 Degrees + 60 MPH = fucking cold dumbass!!

SomeCoder:

Jeff:

Actually, the product already exists. For motorcycles anyway. Heated grips and/or gloves are very popular for riding in the winter, although a good pair of gloves and a wind-blocking shield for the grips usually work well enough.

So those wind blocking shields work? I would like to get something like that for my motorcycle because no, gloves don't really cut it if it's really cold and you're going down the freeway at 60 MPH.

Yeah, gloves don't cut it. If they're thick enough to block the cold, they're dangerous.

amischiefr:

So buy a god damned car ffs! 10 Degrees + 60 MPH = fucking cold dumbass!!

This is the WTF post here--from someone who thinks buying a $20,000 car is a better solution than heated handgrips--a $75 solution. Dumbass.

nwbrown:

Vic Tim:

Suomynona:

lolwtf:

Jorgey Porgey:

Alison:

Uber:

EatenByAGrue:

TakeASeatOverThere:

Uber:

newfweiler:

akatherder:

snoofle:

causa:

Christopher:

Zan Lynx:

The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

It's called "blood".

I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

What do you do now?

Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

It is too cold to start a fire.

What do you do now?

Freeze to death.

You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

What do you do now?

Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

What do you do now?

You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

Now what do you do?

Laugh at the national guard for using silver bullets (those are for werewolves, not vampires), turn all the national guard into vampires and take over the world.

Your immortal, took over the world, outlasted everybody, and watched all the movies ever made. You're bored. What do you do now?!

Explore the universe.

The Universal Police Force has been tipped off to an immortal on Earth and have encapsulated the planet in a giant hollow unbreakable sphere.

I know I'm going to get the Captian Obvious Award for this, but...

This is asinine.

Captcha: haero

Captain Obvious awards are not given to people who can't spell "Captain". What do you do now?

Fail.

I can't beleive that no one has mentioned the snowmobile. Heated grips when worn in combination with thin plam, thick outside gloves works well into the -20F area.

Holy Smokes dude, talking about time to take off the gloves! Wow.

Jiff
www.anonymize.us.tc

Go through your pockets, looking for loose change! :)

Post to the The Daily WTF.

SomeCoder:

So those wind blocking shields work? I would like to get something like that for my motorcycle because no, gloves don't really cut it if it's really cold and you're going down the freeway at 60 MPH.

Bar muffs. Big mitten-like things that go over the whole bar end. Keeps the wind off and lets you operate the controls.

And so, on your next interview, ask your candidates:

As you pedaled to work, you thought to yourself, why hasn't anyone ever invented a bicycle with heated handlebar grips? What do you do?

There are actually only two replies:

1. gloves
2. doors

I have handguards and heated grips on my dual-sport motorcycle. On cold wet days it's great. When your hands get wet, they actully steam the water out of your gloves; pure luxury.

On a bicycle? You would need over 20W of power to make it work effectively.

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this "hand warming system" does not exist

it does indeed. a series of flexible tubes. heating the hands. I personally do have one for each hand.

man blood, guys. man blood.

Wow tech types are stupid.

Motorcycle or snowmobile heated handgrips + battery = what you want. all done zero design needed.

I am amazed at how inept at using google most people are, it took me 6 seconds to find all I needed to answer this.

Crayons?