Comment On Comments from a Madman

It's hard to maintain your cool while writing software, and therefore hard to not have that reflected in comments. It's probably a good idea to get in the habit of searching the codebase and replacing four letter words prior to checkin.

Submitted anonymously, we were given a series of comments that chronicle one man's gradual descent into insanity. I've taken the liberty of removing calls to It.Basket.Add(theLotion).

// I'll only ask one more question and then I think I am
// going to flip burgers for a living because I just
// can't figure this out!
...
// kludge, once in a blue this isn't set..
...
/**
 * Tag to email the user. There is a seperate doc on the details on this tag somewhere...
 */
...
// new day is dawning or we re-booted, start count over
catch(Exception e) {
    // hell what to say? Programmer not user error here!
}
...
return false; //added by me
...
// oddity, can't figure out elegant solution
if (da.getServer().toLowerCase().equals("devdbsrv1"))
    cmd.append("\\SQL2000");
...
catch(Exception e) {};// sometimes its best to be quiet
...
// I don't get this why substracting 1 from the month is giving
// 1 YEAR ago.   Would appear bad, so watch this
gc.add(Calendar.YEAR, -1);
...
private int rowCount = 0; // due the nature of this "current row" isn't current row
...
// not sure why this needs to be  a HashMap - and I wrote the damn thing
private HashMap applications = new HashMap();
...
//if we're not getting the database, just return some random numbers instead
System.out.println("db error: "+e);
Random r = new Random();
int randInt = Math.abs(r.nextInt()) % 11;
return Integer.toString(randInt);
...
//just tack on anything to make sure the result has no spaces or returns after it.
xmlOutput.append("&a=b");
...
// ooh baby is this check going to cause more issues then it's worth?
Core uc = (Core)findAncestorWithClass(this, Core.class);
...
// take a look at the content type
String type = "FIIN"; // f**k if I know
...
catch(Exception e) {
    // what can we do? Printing an error as already failed!
}
...
// Don't let the command line get to big for it's britches
if (classNames.size() == 15 ||    j == nList.getLength() -1) {
    String file = writeCommandFile(javaDir, classPath, tempDir, tomcatDir, classNames);
    docBuff.append(runCommand(file));
    classNames = new ArrayList();
}
...
int index = agent.indexOf("Windows"); // is it the 10,000LD Gorilla?
...
// don't ask.... okay you wanna know. Make unique URLs based on the image
// update count so when people change images it refelecs (else the page
// is cached
private static HashMap imagePageCount = new HashMap();
...
// just need get the &#$*ing class name of a string array
String[] blah = new String[1];
Class[] cos = { blah.getClass() };
...
// this check in abstract should not be needed,
// but abstract is often too abstrat for me to postive about
if (df == null && rf == null)
    continue;
...
// smart, stupid? Strugglign with the fact I dont know
// the prices without doing a DB query, and that will lots of DB queries
public static HashMap retailPrices = new HashMap();
public static HashMap dealerPrices = new HashMap();
public static ArrayList badParts = new ArrayList();
...
// massage the sucker so as to not confused my little po' head
int eot = pstrResponse.indexOf("^~000EOT");
if (eot > 0) 
    pstrResponse = pstrResponse.substring(0,eot);
eot = pstrResponse.indexOf("^~EOT");
if (eot > 0) 
    pstrResponse = pstrResponse.substring(0,eot);
...
// how many fields of repeatable data do we have, this handy dany calucalation tells us
int totalCols = tok.countTokens() - dataTok.countTokens() - singularFields + 1;
...
private String TRANSACTION_CODE="DLRORD       ";
// complete guess, havnen't gotten anything from Jerry yet
...
// really a big &*&*& kludge, sick, hurry, tied, and worked 10 hours..
String spd = (String)dbFields.get("start_pay_month");
String epd = (String)dbFields.get("end_pay_month");
...
catch(Exception e) {
    // not that big deal..
}
...
// one can question if this is the "best" way.
// I first take the information and throw into objects, then I create hashtables 
// and then I make a view out that.... 
// okay maybe I should go strait to hash tables I see that now!
...
// abstractly this should be 0, but.. just accept 1.
if (count == 1)
    return "Y";
...
// okay a little corny, but create new object to keep the
// the values field of this object untouched....
ItNutsAndNotes t = new ItNutsAndNotes();
...
/** 
 * Gets a list of invoices for orders with the given criteria
 * @.attribute status: The status of s**t 
 */
...
catch(Exception ex) {
    System.out.println("CAN'T DO S**T");
};
...
// never happes, can't figure the f**k out why
if (action != null && action.toUpperCase().equals("CANCEL")) {
    return EVAL_PAGE;
}
...
F**K <- Who wrote that???
...
if (r != EVAL_BODY_AGAIN) {
    System.out.println("AAA....");
    pageContext.getOut().print("F**KME");
}
...
//This is a miserable hack I am about to perform.
//Since the POCheck happens in the super class, and uses the user to do so,
//I need to temporarily set the order of the user to the deleted order, then switch
//it back to what it was after the POCheck is complete. The hand is quicker than the eye!

I wouldn't really be surprised if the code contained:

if (Jack.WorkQuantity == "All" && Jack.PlayQuantity == "No")
{
	Jack.BoyType = BoyTypes.Dull;
}