Comment On Directive 595

As the Database Architect, Daniel always had a pretty good relationship with Gerald, the Application Architect. At least, as good of a relationship as two natural rivals might have. Their backgrounds were very similar – both worked in Oracle and both started programming in C – and they actually saw eye-to-eye on more things than not. Both architects knew which realms they owned – the Application Architect’s was clearly Java and the Database Architect’s was Oracle – but there was plenty of middle ground to dispute. [expand full text]
« PrevPage 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 | Page 5Next »

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 05:17 • by L. (unregistered)
368165 in reply to 368087
C-Octothorpe:
This must have been sabotage...

There is no way an "Application Architect" (bare minimum of seven years hands-on experience) would think that any of these "directives" was a good idea or do it just for a power-trip.

I MUST believe it was sabotage because believing that anybody that stupid could ascend to the level of Chief Architect would shatter my reality...


Nice troll c-dog ;)

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 05:20 • by L. (unregistered)
368166 in reply to 368095
Matt Westwood:
Directive no. 598: Tools which generate html code lack flexibility and blah blah.

From now on, all html that is experienced client-side will be written by the programmer by hand.

:
:

Directive no. 634: No free software is to be used for any purposes in this company. If it's free, it can't be any good because no money will have been spent on quality control.

:
:

Directive no. 666: To ensure a consistent look-and-feel, the same programming tool is to be used by all programmers. That programming tool is to be Notepad, because it comes free with your computer.


And , as notepad is free, it cannot be used, so you shall code with a stylus and a wax tablet (no, not samsung).

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 05:32 • by L. (unregistered)
368167 in reply to 368156
The poop of DOOM:
JayC:
ParkinT:
Directive 595 Part 4.
"Databases and database languages are slow give lack of flexibility, more costly evolution, inhibit the use of the database acting as a service to applications and make it an inhibitor to evolution"

From this point forward, all data will be in XML format. It is more enterprise-y


People have apparently done just that.

Askmet sucks.

Yup, there's even an entire CMS which stores everything as XML and doesn't use a real database. Gentlemen, I present you:


Oh really ??

A tool for the noobs made by noobs ?

Unbelievable ... and I thought joomla s*cked .

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 05:37 • by John (unregistered)
That's what you get when you put people with Asperger's Syndrome in charge ...

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 05:41 • by The poop of DOOM
368169 in reply to 368167
L.:
The poop of DOOM:
JayC:
ParkinT:
Directive 595 Part 4.
"Databases and database languages are slow give lack of flexibility, more costly evolution, inhibit the use of the database acting as a service to applications and make it an inhibitor to evolution"

From this point forward, all data will be in XML format. It is more enterprise-y


People have apparently done just that.

Askmet sucks.

Yup, there's even an entire CMS which stores everything as XML and doesn't use a real database. Gentlemen, I present you:


Oh really ??

A tool for the noobs made by noobs ?

Unbelievable ... and I thought joomla s*cked .

I actually don't know if it's bad or not. Never used it :P I just know it exists and uses XML as a database.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 05:43 • by The poop of DOOM
368170 in reply to 368155
Dmitriy:
Did the company not have daily backup files of their databases? They could have undone Gerald's actions quickly by restoring a backup file instead of having to manually run SQL commands for four days.

Actually, this indicates the real WTF in the story: the Chief Architect can destroy production databases with little to no oversight.

That was Directive 146:
"Daily backups give lack of flexibility, is costly in storage, inhibit the use of precious CPU cycles and clinging to the past makes an inhibitor to evolution. As such, please remove all backups and stop making new ones."

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 06:00 • by Nick (unregistered)
I would laugh if Gerald hadn't gone on to design every database I've ever had to datamine. What I wouldn't give for even sensical primary key constraints, let alone a foreign key here and there.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 06:22 • by ZPedro
OK, let me call it right there and then:

- Directive 595 is an instant classic

- I, for one, welcome our new meme

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 07:24 • by Don L (unregistered)
Directive 595 Part 4
"Storing data on disks, be it hard or solid state, is expensive and slows down everything.
Store all data safely in /dev/nul instead."

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 07:37 • by Friedrich (unregistered)
I don't think it's WTF it´s sanity at work (at last). They fired an WTF producer and that an anti WTF move. the WTF move would have been that the WTF producer would be promoted to WTO. That would be the hell of a WTF.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 07:47 • by Severity One
368176 in reply to 368124
Matt Westwood:
Jay:
Yeah, it seems like America is the last country in the world that isn't run by a bunch of foreigners.

Can't argue there. The queen's a German, her husband's a Greek, and the deputy prime minister's wife is a BASICing Spaniard, for lisp's sake. Haven't had a proper Welshman in charge for decades.

Don't forget that the deputy prime minister's mother is Dutch, and that the man is fluent in Dutch.

Then again, the Dutch queen's great-grandmother was German, her grandmother was married to a German, her mother was married to a German, she was married to a German and her son (the crown prince) is married to an Argentinian.

Even so, the crown prince's daughters look typically Dutch: blonde and not particularly attractive. Their mother is rather good-looking, but the poor things all look like their father.

On the plus side, the prime minister is Dutch, and unmarried.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 08:15 • by Sock Puppet 5
Chief Architect Gerald:

Re: Directive 595

Dear Database Architect,

Please refer to Directive 1.

"A directive is such that all reasonable discussion has taken place
and as such is not open for debate."

Sincerely,
Chief Architect Gerald


Dear Chief Architect,

Directive 1 clearly states

"There shall be no interference with the natural development of non-warp-capable societies."

As the development databases are non-warp-capable and contain no Omega Molecules, the not-null constraints shall remain as they are. This is not open to debate.

Sincerely,
Daniel

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 08:27 • by Hortical (unregistered)
368178 in reply to 368162
The poop of DOOM:
trtrwtf:
Lick My Love Log:
Hortical:
Daniel should not have questioned the Chief Architect as no business can run with subordinates always contradicting superiors and disobeying directives. If you think it was okay for employees to act this way, or to quit when they don't appreciate an order they've received, you must know nothing about business. You get paid to do your job, not hold technical debates to satisfy your own ego.

Further, Daniel should have been immediately fired for being away from the company while it was in crisis. And why wasn't he there to offer his advice to the Chief Architect when it would have prevented this disaster?
Hortie, love, are you a troll or pig-buggering idiot?
Why choose?
Who said it's a choice?
It really is that easy. Cool!

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 08:52 • by Geoff (unregistered)
368179 in reply to 368153
Not only that vacations are an important control. If someone is touching data everyday they might be "up to something" or "doing some kind of cover up", simply doing something badly like running a service under their own account. This applies to all employees not just IT.

When people take vacations their accounts should actually be locked out! If there is some type of emergency and people at work need to reach out then obviously the account can be unlocked.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 09:13 • by Brooks (unregistered)
368186 in reply to 368055
Nice find! That makes this even more WTF worthy.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 09:39 • by Buddy (unregistered)
Directive 595 Part 7 is as follows.

"Reliance on external power supplies give lack of flexibility, more costly evolution, inhibit the use of the database acting as a service to applications and make it an inhibitor to evolution."

As such, please change all power supplies to diesel generators.

Sincerely,
Chief Architect Gerald

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 09:49 • by geoffrey (unregistered)
368201 in reply to 368001
BentFranklin:
Cool story, except what kind of architect goes off line for two weeks straight? Surely someone at least called his cell phone?



Not the kind of architect I'd hire, that's for sure. Anyone who can be away for two weeks is not that valuable to his team.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 10:13 • by dna (unregistered)
all promotions should be given this way.
through crisis situation and a lot of stress...
this way, you know you can rely on

for me the RWTF is that no one tried to stop this train before the wreackage...

I am just a small hotliner, i only use sql to check information, but i know the value and purpose of a primary key, and i understand the point of not null (i still don't know about the point 3)

if i get a message like this from someone that (apparently)never work on a database, first i try to debate with him, tryin with tact to remind him that i know more of this than him.
it it fail, i warn his own manager by mail, so even if the manager don't do anything, when the fan will start, at least i will have an umbrella.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 10:29 • by Ralph (unregistered)
368212 in reply to 368039
Trish:

A sensible one who wants to resign anyway... I know enough people who have two cellphone-numbers, and one of the numbers is only given to a close circle of family-and freinds ans STRICTLY non-work.
Might be frowned upon, but works miracles for being able to actually relax on holidays ;)


I have one cellphone-numbers, and the number is only given to a close circle of family-and friends and STRICTLY non-work.
Might be frowned upon, but works miracles for being able to actually relax on holidays ;)

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 10:59 • by Hortical (unregistered)
368224 in reply to 368212
Ralph:
Trish:

A sensible one who wants to resign anyway... I know enough people who have two cellphone-numbers, and one of the numbers is only given to a close circle of family-and friends ans STRICTLY non-work.
Might be frowned upon, but works miracles for being able to actually relax on holidays ;)
I have one cellphone-numbers, and the number is only given to a close circle of family-and friends and STRICTLY non-work.
Might be frowned upon, but works miracles for being able to actually relax on holidays ;)
I have no cellphone-numbers, and a close circle of family and friends and ESPECIALLY co-workers can go to hell. Might be frowned upon, but works miracles for being able to actually relax on holidays ;)

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 11:57 • by nag-geoff (unregistered)
368250 in reply to 368122
Matt Westwood:
jverd:
EatenByAGrue:

My guess: He'd discussed it with CTO, who didn't realize this was a bad idea. When things hit the fan, CTO threw Gerald under a bus rather than to admit that it was something he'd approved.


It's not "throwing somebody under the bus" when you fire him for demonstrating unfathomable incompetence and arrogance, and if the CTO approved it, that doesn't make him equally culpable. Though one can of course hold out the hope that he at least learned a lesson and in the future will solicit the opinions of other senior technical staff before approving such major changes.


But seriously, it wasn't the prime directives that got Gerald fired, it was the buggering about on Production without developing it first on Development and testing it on Test. Wonder why whose boxes got those names.


It's a well known fact mate that development and test boxes make people relax. We need chaps to be cautious all the time. Also getting rid of development and test boxes saved a ton of money.

Nobody has to maintain these boxes. Developing in production reduces development cycle and is a natural progression of the waterfall model described by Roger in the software engineering bible.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 13:09 • by dq (unregistered)
Fortunately, he had a two-week vacation to Mars starting the following week, so he wouldn’t have to suck it up for very long.

The conclusion is too good to be true ... Daniel actually died at the end of his fever dream.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 13:09 • by Fabio (unregistered)
368271 in reply to 368055
Yet I find it hard to believe...

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 13:09 • by Ol Bob
368272 in reply to 368015
DCRoss:
"No chief architect has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition, foolproof and incapable of error."


Daniel, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 13:47 • by Buffalo
368289 in reply to 368177
Sock Puppet 5:
Chief Architect Gerald:

Re: Directive 595

Dear Database Architect,

Please refer to Directive 1.

"A directive is such that all reasonable discussion has taken place
and as such is not open for debate."

Sincerely,
Chief Architect Gerald


Dear Chief Architect,

Directive 1 clearly states

"There shall be no interference with the natural development of non-warp-capable societies."

As the development databases are non-warp-capable and contain no Omega Molecules, the not-null constraints shall remain as they are. This is not open to debate.

Sincerely,
Daniel

A+ Star Trek reference. Would read again.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 16:06 • by Eric (unregistered)
368317 in reply to 368005
I realize you're joking, but my company uses C-ISAM flat files for all our db storage. That means no querying, no joins, no autoincrement, and none of the other nice things you get from modern relational databases.

We have a command-line utility that will "query" the table and print out key-value pairs so if you want to search for something you basically have to pipe that output into grep and brush up on your regular expressions.

I can't wait to get out of this disaster of a company #sadtrombone

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 18:56 • by nag-geoff (unregistered)
368360 in reply to 368317
Eric:
I realize you're joking, but my company uses C-ISAM flat files for all our db storage. That means no querying, no joins, no autoincrement, and none of the other nice things you get from modern relational databases.

We have a command-line utility that will "query" the table and print out key-value pairs so if you want to search for something you basically have to pipe that output into grep and brush up on your regular expressions.

I can't wait to get out of this disaster of a company #sadtrombone


An obvious troll, but you're late to this discussion, old chap.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 19:38 • by Peter (unregistered)
368361 in reply to 368120
Someone:
My personal cellphone number is never given out at work. If work wants me to be contactable, they can provide a cell and number. This cell is then left at work when I'm on holidays - after all, a holiday is an entitlement to have a break from work (and something that increasingly businesses are realizing are reasonably important for health).
At 2 separate companies I've worked for, they've fired the folks who left their work cellphones at the office when they left on vacation. To be honest, one of them was a consulting company (to use the Office Space paradigm, we were the IT department of the Bob&Bobs) of unrepentant jerks who usually let folks know they were fired as they walked out the door and were unable to return to their desk as their card was deactivated on the way to the door.

If you really got to accept a company provided cell phone, leave the phone at home when you go on vacation and turn it off. You can always pull the "oh, I left the battery charger at home" excuse.

Never underestimate the pettiness of a mismanager who hates nerds/techies.

Re: Directive 595

2011-11-30 23:21 • by too lazy to log in (unregistered)
368367 in reply to 368361
Peter:
To be honest, one of them was a consulting company ... who usually let folks know they were fired as they walked out the door and were unable to return to their desk as their card was deactivated on the way to the door.


To give the devil his due - speaking very close to literally here - there is a business justification for this. We like to assume that the people around us are reasonable and rational and sensible people who react to bad news with equanimity and dispassionate calm. And most people, to large extent, are this way.

However, there are some people who, on hearing that they have the opportunity to seek opportunities elsewhere, decide to vent their frustrations in ways which are disruptive to the normal conduct of business.

Therefore, many buisinesses have termination policies which are designed to ensure that a terminated employee has no access to any workplace assets before they are informed of their termination. It sounds like your former employer was exercising this sort of policy, although admittedly in a pretty impersonal sort of way.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 00:18 • by Cat
368368 in reply to 368092
CodeRage:

It is the non-technical management-executive that pick who gets promoted, and they rarely base it on technical competence. It's more important who goes to the gym with them, or who gives the appearance of hard work by spending 60+ hours cranking out broken WTF code.


I disagree with that (at least in my experience). The problem is that people are often promoted to their level of incompetence, and then they stagnate until they get fired.

Someone can be amazing at their job, but terrible at their boss's job. Unfortunately for these people, they tend to get promoted beyond their capabilities, and while they would have continued to do great at their former role, they languish in their new role until they are put out of their misery.

Really, I think the problem is that we do too MUCH of evaluating someone by how well they're doing their current job, not how well we think they would do at their proposed new job. It tends to cause people to climb the corporate ladder until they are one rung above where they actually should be, and then they fall.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 04:06 • by toshir0
368374 in reply to 368034
YF:
The poop of DOOM:
frits:
dkf:
Taki:
Directive 595 Part 4 is as follows.

"Typed database columns give lack of flexibility, more
costly evolution, inhibit the use of the database acting as a
service to applications and make it an inhibitor to evolution."

As such, please change all database columns to type VARCHAR2(4000).
Or convert the database to SQLite.
Or Amazon SimpleDB.

Or MongoDB

Or Access.
Or HyperCard

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 04:14 • by toshir0
368376 in reply to 368053
boog:
Dan:
Tom:
nag-geoff:
Evolution is over-rated.

The foreign key part is something I would agree with. There is no point in having foreign keys. They are as useful as the foreigners in my country.


Foreign keys are useful for blah blah tl;dr blah...

Really, in this day and age, we still have readers who can't spot a troll a mile off?
Or in this case, a two-headed troll (nag-geoff = nagesh-geoffrey).
You mean an ettin.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 04:41 • by The poop of DOOM
368379 in reply to 368367
too lazy to log in:
Peter:
To be honest, one of them was a consulting company ... who usually let folks know they were fired as they walked out the door and were unable to return to their desk as their card was deactivated on the way to the door.


To give the devil his due - speaking very close to literally here - there is a business justification for this. We like to assume that the people around us are reasonable and rational and sensible people who react to bad news with equanimity and dispassionate calm. And most people, to large extent, are this way.

However, there are some people who, on hearing that they have the opportunity to seek opportunities elsewhere, decide to vent their frustrations in ways which are disruptive to the normal conduct of business.

Therefore, many buisinesses have termination policies which are designed to ensure that a terminated employee has no access to any workplace assets before they are informed of their termination. It sounds like your former employer was exercising this sort of policy, although admittedly in a pretty impersonal sort of way.

My previous boss did the exact opposite. When I handed in my notice, I had one or two weeks resignation. He had me sit it out til the very last minute, and wanted me to still do this and that of work. Didn't do shit-all (still had about 27 days of unpaid overtime he refused to acknowledge, so really didn't feel like busting my ass off til the very last moment). In return of being so kind as to let me stay there the entire time, I returned the favour of cleaning up my work laptop REALLY well and mis-teaching the new dev (who refused to do any programming anyways). Worst thing a company can do, is have an IT worker stay at his desk after being fired/handing in their resignation (except if they actually liked it there and handed in their notice due to a terminally ill family member they got to take care of or such)

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 06:54 • by Kjella (unregistered)
368388 in reply to 368379
The poop of DOOM:
My previous boss did the exact opposite. When I handed in my notice, I had one or two weeks resignation. He had me sit it out til the very last minute, and wanted me to still do this and that of work. Didn't do shit-all (still had about 27 days of unpaid overtime he refused to acknowledge, so really didn't feel like busting my ass off til the very last moment). In return of being so kind as to let me stay there the entire time, I returned the favour of cleaning up my work laptop REALLY well and mis-teaching the new dev (who refused to do any programming anyways). Worst thing a company can do, is have an IT worker stay at his desk after being fired/handing in their resignation (except if they actually liked it there and handed in their notice due to a terminally ill family member they got to take care of or such)


Around here a three month resignation period is common and I'd say in 98% of the cases it goes just fine. Unrecognized overtime makes you a disgruntled worker. Most of the time we're just going our separate ways, there's an absurd amount of hostility in US work relationships. Your two weeks pay is a pay check, not a bonus payment. That you don't have to work it is a US thing, almost everywhere else they expect you to.

Mmm Eclairs

2011-12-01 08:41 • by frits
368395 in reply to 368376
toshir0:
You mean an ettin.
Thanks for the French link. It was very illuminating. Sorry, éclairant.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 11:19 • by neminem
368405 in reply to 368168
John:
That's what you get when you put people with Asperger's Syndrome in charge ...

Please show some sensitivity. I had a son with Asperger's Syndrome, and by that I actually mean I have it myself; and they, I mean I, would never think of doing anything this dumb.

edit: and something about it not being a laughing matter or something.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 12:43 • by MojoMonkeyfish (unregistered)
368408 in reply to 368177
Awesome, just saw the Omega Directive episode of Voyager last night.

I'll be honest, respect for the "Prime Directive"... or any of the directives, for that matter, seems to be directly proportional to the necessity of violating it.

I like that guys hat! Blasts pre-warp society with temporal torpedo, so that it never existed... oops, guess the hat was destroyed too. My bad.

There is a molecule that threatens the safety of the entire universe, and these asshats are playing around with it? Whoah whoah whoah. The directives exist for a reason!

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 12:52 • by Ol Bob
368409 in reply to 368069
Jay:

But my point is, it's incredibly naive to say, "If someone made a bad decision, his superiors would logically and inevitably overrule him." It just doesn't happen that way in real life.


Exactly. The chance of a manager being overridden based on the concerns of a techie/developer/DBA/what-have-you is effectively nil/NULL/NOT-GONNA-HAPPEN (COBOL version). The purpose of underlings is two-fold: 1. They take over the responsibilities that the senior-level boss doesn't have the time or knowledge to deal with, and 2. They serve as speed-bumps for the buses of life. The further up the ladder one gets, the more subordinates one has to satisfy the requirements of points 1 and 2. Sucks, but is.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 15:16 • by Franz Kafka (unregistered)
368418 in reply to 368121
Matt Westwood:

It's not Daniel that should have been fired, it was whoever authorised him to go on leave in the first place. It was Daniel's absence that directly caused Gerald to think he could fuck up the DB, therefore it was the fault of the person who thought they could get away without Daniel being in the building.


If Gerald is so valuable that he isn't even allowed vacation because he has to mind the architect, shouldn't he be getting a hefty payrise?

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 18:16 • by Matt Westwood
368428 in reply to 368388
Kjella:
The poop of DOOM:
My previous boss did the exact opposite. When I handed in my notice, I had one or two weeks resignation. He had me sit it out til the very last minute, and wanted me to still do this and that of work. Didn't do shit-all (still had about 27 days of unpaid overtime he refused to acknowledge, so really didn't feel like busting my ass off til the very last moment). In return of being so kind as to let me stay there the entire time, I returned the favour of cleaning up my work laptop REALLY well and mis-teaching the new dev (who refused to do any programming anyways). Worst thing a company can do, is have an IT worker stay at his desk after being fired/handing in their resignation (except if they actually liked it there and handed in their notice due to a terminally ill family member they got to take care of or such)


Around here a three month resignation period is common and I'd say in 98% of the cases it goes just fine. Unrecognized overtime makes you a disgruntled worker. Most of the time we're just going our separate ways, there's an absurd amount of hostility in US work relationships. Your two weeks pay is a pay check, not a bonus payment. That you don't have to work it is a US thing, almost everywhere else they expect you to.


Well, quite. If you *do* spend the next two weeks (or one month, or three months) sabotaging the assets of the company you work for, word would soon get around (not least to the law enforcement agencies), and your chances of further employment anywhere may be somewhat compromised. In the US it may be possible to lose yourself (it's big enough) but some of the European job markets are sufficiently small that a badly unprofessional reputation for tetchy tantrums would fuck your career forever.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 19:01 • by Nate (unregistered)
This is an excellent story. I really don't care if it's true or not.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 20:58 • by Obedience (unregistered)
368433 in reply to 368157
QJo:
Oh, get real! Most people in industry don't take the holidays they are offered as it is. Sixty hour weeks are commonplace. You are expected to work from home in the evenings and weekends, and going away on vacations is a thing of the very distant past. If <i>you</i> haven't got the commitment to do a job of work, there are plenty out there who will fill your lazy boots. <i>You</i> should be the one to be fired, and your pension revoked if you have one, for your shocking display of anti-industrial discontent. In fact, if I had my way you'd be arrested and punished for agitation.


Go die in a fire. That may be the way the sweatshops work right now, but at a real corporation on the Global 500 we take our vacations, work our FORTY and go home, and don't clock in on the weekends or holidays. I would recommend brushing up your resume, quitting Small Business Land, and trying to work for one of the Big Boys where profits are booming right now, thank you very much. I take 2-3 vacations a year, I'm happy to do so, and the corp encourages me to do so. Your so-called "commitment" would be called "zealotry" here and would result in you not lasting too long on board the ship.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-01 22:52 • by sparr (unregistered)
368439 in reply to 368001
BentFranklin:
Cool story, except what kind of architect goes off line for two weeks straight? Surely someone at least called his cell phone?


I'm sorry to hear you've never had a job that comes with vacations.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-02 00:49 • by SQLDave
368442 in reply to 368120
Someone:
Trish:
BentFranklin:
Cool story, except what kind of architect goes off line for two weeks straight? Surely someone at least called his cell phone?



A sensible one who wants to resign anyway... I know enough people who have two cellphone-numbers, and one of the numbers is only given to a close circle of family-and freinds ans STRICTLY non-work.
Might be frowned upon, but works miracles for being able to actually relax on holidays ;)

This is unusual? My personal cellphone number is never given out at work. If work wants me to be contactable, they can provide a cell and number. This cell is then left at work when I'm on holidays - after all, a holiday is an entitlement to have a break from work (and something that increasingly businesses are realizing are reasonably important for health).

If the shit hits the fan while I'm away it's not my problem - they managed before I started here, and I'm sure they'll manage after I leave. Noone (ever) is indispensable. Some people leaving can appear to be a bigger problem than others, but within a few months normality (or some semblance of) resumes...


Noone? What does Herman's Hermits have to do with anything?

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-02 04:19 • by The poop of DOOM
368444 in reply to 368428
Matt Westwood:
Kjella:
The poop of DOOM:
My previous boss did the exact opposite. When I handed in my notice, I had one or two weeks resignation. He had me sit it out til the very last minute, and wanted me to still do this and that of work. Didn't do shit-all (still had about 27 days of unpaid overtime he refused to acknowledge, so really didn't feel like busting my ass off til the very last moment). In return of being so kind as to let me stay there the entire time, I returned the favour of cleaning up my work laptop REALLY well and mis-teaching the new dev (who refused to do any programming anyways). Worst thing a company can do, is have an IT worker stay at his desk after being fired/handing in their resignation (except if they actually liked it there and handed in their notice due to a terminally ill family member they got to take care of or such)


Around here a three month resignation period is common and I'd say in 98% of the cases it goes just fine. Unrecognized overtime makes you a disgruntled worker. Most of the time we're just going our separate ways, there's an absurd amount of hostility in US work relationships. Your two weeks pay is a pay check, not a bonus payment. That you don't have to work it is a US thing, almost everywhere else they expect you to.


Well, quite. If you *do* spend the next two weeks (or one month, or three months) sabotaging the assets of the company you work for, word would soon get around (not least to the law enforcement agencies), and your chances of further employment anywhere may be somewhat compromised. In the US it may be possible to lose yourself (it's big enough) but some of the European job markets are sufficiently small that a badly unprofessional reputation for tetchy tantrums would fuck your career forever.

There's a difference between sabotaging and, for example, overly dilligently cleaning your laptop up before returning it. If there's vital information on there that's not stored anywhere else, then whoopsaleedoodle! That's different than wiping out the entire shared drive, or messing up the Active Directory or such. Those latter two ARE sabotage.

Also, if a disgruntled worker is either quitting or fired, will they do any actual work during their last days? In the best case, they'll be non-productive. In the worst case, they're counter-productive by making lots of noise, going around the office talking to everybody so they can't get any work done, etc. (Didn't do that when I left, though). What's the worst that could happen to them? They'd get fired? Oh, wait... they're already leaving. And it can't be seen as sabotage, so...

Aside from keeping others off of their work, techies can also make life alot more difficult if they want to, without it actually being sabotage. Especially the good ones can do that. That's why quite some companies see it as a good idea to let them stay home the last week or so.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-02 05:48 • by QJo
368446 in reply to 368433
Obedience:
QJo:
Oh, get real! Most people in industry don't take the holidays they are offered as it is. Sixty hour weeks are commonplace. You are expected to work from home in the evenings and weekends, and going away on vacations is a thing of the very distant past. If <i>you</i> haven't got the commitment to do a job of work, there are plenty out there who will fill your lazy boots. <i>You</i> should be the one to be fired, and your pension revoked if you have one, for your shocking display of anti-industrial discontent. In fact, if I had my way you'd be arrested and punished for agitation.


Go die in a fire. That may be the way the sweatshops work right now, but at a real corporation on the Global 500 we take our vacations, work our FORTY and go home, and don't clock in on the weekends or holidays. I would recommend brushing up your resume, quitting Small Business Land, and trying to work for one of the Big Boys where profits are booming right now, thank you very much. I take 2-3 vacations a year, I'm happy to do so, and the corp encourages me to do so. Your so-called "commitment" would be called "zealotry" here and would result in you not lasting too long on board the ship.


Reply a) Please excuse the bitter irony in which the above was written. I was in that position until about a year ago, and let me tell you, this was a famous multinational company. Their commitment to their employees looks very good on paper, and they would offer all sorts of incentives: free toys for the children, monthly rewards (in the form of ribbons and balloons) for prized employees (voted for by their colleagues), and extensive jollies for successful sales personnel and higher management. I went 18 months without a holiday, worked most evenings and weekends for no extra pay, and when I never even got the recognition I believed I was due, I decided that either I was as ineffective in my job as they were hinting but were too cowardly to admit, or I was being ripped off and they didn't deserve me. So, indeed, as soon as I had a new place to go to, I quit.

Reply b) YHBT. YHL. HAND.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-02 06:20 • by method1
368447 in reply to 368055
Thomas Kyte:
Funny - here is evidence that this is pretty much a verbatim true story:

http://asktom.oracle.com/pls/apex/f?p=100:11:0::::P11_QUESTION_ID:2143974700346554115#2970874300346318049

One in the eye for those who said it was obviously made up etc.
I'd love to have a complete set of Directives. They could be released in book form as a database horror story.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-02 08:49 • by QJo
368455 in reply to 368447
method1:
Thomas Kyte:
Funny - here is evidence that this is pretty much a verbatim true story:

http://asktom.oracle.com/pls/apex/f?p=100:11:0::::P11_QUESTION_ID:2143974700346554115#2970874300346318049

One in the eye for those who said it was obviously made up etc.
I'd love to have a complete set of Directives. They could be released in book form as a database horror story.


You'd probably find that the pre-Gerald directives were boring sensible. "In order to improve database security, no SQL script is to be allowed to run with scissors" sort of thing.

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-02 09:03 • by a highly-placed source (unregistered)
368457 in reply to 368156
The poop of DOOM:

Yup, there's even an entire CMS which stores everything as XML and doesn't use a real database. Gentlemen, I present you: http://www.sitenote.net


It uses a real s__t database:

'SiteNOTE is using an Access database (mdb file) to store statistics and data submitted through forms.'

Re: Directive 595

2011-12-02 10:32 • by Simply Zunesis (unregistered)
368490 in reply to 368447
method1:
Thomas Kyte:
Funny - here is evidence that this is pretty much a verbatim true story:

http://asktom.oracle.com/pls/apex/f?p=100:11:0::::P11_QUESTION_ID:2143974700346554115#2970874300346318049

One in the eye for those who said it was obviously made up etc.
I'd love to have a complete set of Directives. They could be released in book form as a database horror story.
I love getting it in their eyes.
« PrevPage 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 | Page 5Next »

Add Comment