Comment On Dirty Code

If(fuckingcomment == frist)
{
unfuck yourself
}
else
{
you're fucked
}

I can has frist?

\o/ unfucked++;

Frist

Oh Askimet...

What language allows hypens in identifier names?

Easy... you document what it does, not what it calls itself while it does it.

It might well be accurate about the sexual proclivities of those who gave orders (for those who don't know: "wanker" is British slang for one who commits self-abuse), but the readers of the document don't need to know that.

And besides, you can simply add a disclaimer to the top of the document that any undesirable language in the document is simply quoted from the source code, if you do need to cite the actual names used in the code.

benjymous:

What language allows hypens in identifier names?

LISP, Forth, COBOL <-- examples for you

Of course, none of them match the syntax given, but there you are...

benjymous:

What language allows hypens in identifier names?

Yesssss, that was my first reaction too. We are such fucking geeks.

Coding in TourettesScript

benjymous:

What language allows hypens in identifier names?

Cobol usually have these funke SOMETHING-DASH-SOMETHING variable names. Lisp, or at least elisp, also accepts hyphens in identifiers. I would guess that other languages that are stack based, also allows them.

I guess we finally found an application for the Brainfuck language.

I've been known to write some pretty strange things on most of my freelance projects, but I keep the swearing to my own personal projects :)

If it's fucked it should no longer have a hyphen, right? {grin}

Anonymous Coward:

If it's fucked it should no longer have a hyphen, right? {grin}

Maybe the v is a roman numeral.

Hand Wringer:

I am shocked, shocked I tell you, to encounter this kind of juvenile language on The Daily What-The-...

Oh, never mind.

Outstanding

I thought the convention for determination of true/false was:

//These fucking wankers wanted it unfucked
private bool un-fuck(int fuck-v) {
if (fuck-v == 0)
{
return false;
}
else
{
return true;
}
}

I, on the other hand, would have added a bit of flair:

...

private const int FUCK_ALL = 0

...

//These fucking wankers wanted it unfucked
private bool un-fuck(int fuck-v) {
if (fuck-v == FUCK_ALL)
{
return false;
}
else
{
return true;
}
}

I call "bogus." C-like languages simply don't allow hyphens in identifiers.

Steve The Cynic:

It might well be accurate about the sexual proclivities of those who gave orders (for those who don't know: "wanker" is British slang for one who commits self-abuse)…

Curiously enough, in Aussie english, it is the term used for male masturbation. Many people don't call that self-abuse… Is self-abuse itself a British euphemism for masturbation?

ours specifically removes the word 'felching' (If you need to google it - DON'T!). Assuming that all the words were added to the list because they turned up in the code at some point then someone must've been having a really bad day...

#define - _

#define MINUS -

COBOL for example

We just did a release. As always, found some bugs here and there, so I've been looking for the global un-fuck method.

So if I make that a static method in a Utility-type class, all I have to do is call it on page load, right?

Not Steve The Cynic:

Steve The Cynic:

It might well be accurate about the sexual proclivities of those who gave orders (for those who don't know: "wanker" is British slang for one who commits self-abuse)…

Curiously enough, in Aussie english, it is the term used for male masturbation. Many people don't call that self-abuse… Is self-abuse itself a British euphemism for masturbation?

Yeah, it is :)

The post itself is the troll. Move along. Nothing to troll here.

Hand Wringer:

I am shocked, shocked I tell you, to encounter this kind of juvenile language on The Daily What-The-...

Oh, never mind.

No, no, it's the Daily Worse Than Failure! ;)

Not Steve The Cynic:

Steve The Cynic:

It might well be accurate about the sexual proclivities of those who gave orders (for those who don't know: "wanker" is British slang for one who commits self-abuse)…

Curiously enough, in Aussie english, it is the term used for male masturbation. Many people don't call that self-abuse… Is self-abuse itself a British euphemism for masturbation?

Actually, it's commonly cited as a Roman Catholic euphemism for masturbation. The British euphemism is "wanking".

Ec the College Student:

Hand Wringer:

I am shocked, shocked I tell you, to encounter this kind of juvenile language on The Daily What-The-...

Oh, never mind.

No, no, it's the Daily Worse Than Failure! ;)

Right...

You keep telling yourself that.

SNAFU

---

akismet - go die in a hole.

Steve The Cynic:

Not Steve The Cynic:

Steve The Cynic:

It might well be accurate about the sexual proclivities of those who gave orders (for those who don't know: "wanker" is British slang for one who commits self-abuse)…

Curiously enough, in Aussie english, it is the term used for male masturbation. Many people don't call that self-abuse… Is self-abuse itself a British euphemism for masturbation?

Actually, it's commonly cited as a Roman Catholic euphemism for masturbation. The British euphemism is "wanking".

I don't see what's abusive about it. I think it's rather nice.

The New England euphemism for masturbation is "enjoying oneself".

E.g.
--Are you enjoying yourself here in Boston?
--Well, I haven't had an opportunity to enjoy anybody else.

Or
--I hope you enjoyed yourself at the party.
--No, I waited until I got home.

-Harrow.

Harrow:

Steve The Cynic:

Not Steve The Cynic:

Steve The Cynic:

It might well be accurate about the sexual proclivities of those who gave orders (for those who don't know: "wanker" is British slang for one who commits self-abuse)…

Curiously enough, in Aussie english, it is the term used for male masturbation. Many people don't call that self-abuse… Is self-abuse itself a British euphemism for masturbation?

Actually, it's commonly cited as a Roman Catholic euphemism for masturbation. The British euphemism is "wanking".

I don't see what's abusive about it. I think it's rather nice.

The New England euphemism for masturbation is "enjoying oneself".

E.g.
--Are you enjoying yourself here in Boston?
--Well, I haven't had an opportunity to enjoy anybody else.

Or
--I hope you enjoyed yourself at the party.
--No, I waited until I got home.

-Harrow.

It is supposedly self abuse as in the strict word of the bible it is a sin.

Not Steve The Cynic:

Steve The Cynic:

It might well be accurate about the sexual proclivities of those who gave orders (for those who don't know: "wanker" is British slang for one who commits self-abuse)…

Curiously enough, in Aussie english, it is the term used for male masturbation. Many people don't call that self-abuse… Is self-abuse itself a British euphemism for masturbation?

"Self abuse" is the Victorian euphemism.

Peter:

"Self abuse" is the Victorian euphemism.

Damn you Victoria!!!

Not Steve The Cynic:

Steve The Cynic:

It might well be accurate about the sexual proclivities of those who gave orders (for those who don't know: "wanker" is British slang for one who commits self-abuse)…

Curiously enough, in Aussie english, it is the term used for male masturbation. Many people don't call that self-abuse… Is self-abuse itself a British euphemism for masturbation?

I've always defined wanker as "a term of abuse for those whose sexual practice is exclusively self-abuse." (I included "exclusively" because I have read that 90% of the general population masturbates & the remaining 10% lies about it.)

On the other hand, although my not-namesake Jimmy Wales spends a significantly large proportion of his time avoiding the need to resort to self-abuse (i.e., he chases the ladies), many people consider him a wanker. Just saying.

You take some fuck then some shit
then some fuck then some shit
You've got a fuck-shit stack
A fuck-shit stack

http://blip.tv/ghost-robot/reggie-watts-fuck-shit-stack-4332479

Reminds me of the time when I reviewed code from a work-term student. Every variable name and function name was a curse word.

Not Steve The Cynic:

Steve The Cynic:

It might well be accurate about the sexual proclivities of those who gave orders (for those who don't know: "wanker" is British slang for one who commits self-abuse)…

Curiously enough, in Aussie english, it is the term used for male masturbation. Many people don't call that self-abuse… Is self-abuse itself a British euphemism for masturbation?

Speaking of Australian slang, do you have any idea what the heck "bloody fruit-shop owner" is supposed to mean? The sniper in Team Fortress 2 is always saying that, and I have no idea what it means... my best guess is "operator of a gay brothel"...

Is this a real example of the fuckhead pattern?

http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Are-You-Cool,-Man-and-More.aspx

Why does Askimet think a link to this same site is spam? Un-fuck your code Askimet, you wankers.

wbrianwhite:

Is this a real example of the fuckhead pattern?

http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Are-You-Cool,-Man-and-More.aspx

Why does Askimet think a link to this same site is spam? Un-fuck your code Askimet, you wankers.

Making fun of Indian is not being funy.

Just to get serious for a moment:

While I'm sure it was great fun for the original programmer to create such variable and function names, they make maintenance of the code extremely difficult. If someone tells me that I have to update the formula for calculating freight cost, and you've cleverly named the freight cost calculation function "prostitute_urinating_on_homosexual" (or words meaning something similar), I am not going to laugh at how witty you were. After spending hours trying to even find the appropriate function, I will no doubt be using similar words to describe what should be done to the programmer.

If I had to maintain this, the first thing I'd do would be to figure out what those variables and functions really are, and rename them to something meaningful. Hopefully you have an IDE that makes renaming easy. (A simple search-and-replace doesn't always cut it, especially in object-oriented languages where a dozen classes might have functions with the same name. Try renaming your class's toString method with a search-and-replace.)

Ever since being hired, Adam had spent most of his time working on new projects.

Please. You expect me to believe a wtf-worthy company puts new hires on new projects?

Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can unscrew a lightbulb.

operagost:

I guess we finally found an application for the Brainfuck language.

Well, actually, even better here would be the variation of Brainfuck called f*ckf*ck that replaced all the tokens in the language with various vulgarities, as described here:

http://esoteric.voxelperfect.net/wiki/Fuckfuck

What kind of language allows hypens/minus signs in variable and function names?

Jamoche:

Ever since being hired, Adam had spent most of his time working on new projects.

Please. You expect me to believe a wtf-worthy company puts new hires on new projects?

I missed the part of the storey where it said Adam was a junior developer.

Q: You have ten years of experience and get hired at a new company. How many years of experience do you have?

a) Ten years
b) Zero

C-Octothorpe:

Jamoche:

Ever since being hired, Adam had spent most of his time working on new projects.

Please. You expect me to believe a wtf-worthy company puts new hires on new projects?

I missed the part of the storey where it said Adam was a junior developer.

Q: You have ten years of experience and get hired at a new company. How many years of experience do you have?

a) Ten years
b) Zero

This reeks of all the job postings wanting 15+ years in Windows 7 or 23+ years in Android development ...

Paul Neumann:

C-Octothorpe:

Jamoche:

Ever since being hired, Adam had spent most of his time working on new projects.

Please. You expect me to believe a wtf-worthy company puts new hires on new projects?

I missed the part of the storey where it said Adam was a junior developer.

Q: You have ten years of experience and get hired at a new company. How many years of experience do you have?

a) Ten years
b) Zero

This reeks of all the job postings wanting 15+ years in Windows 7 or 23+ years in Android development ...

What? You don't believe I have 34 years in .Net development experience, not to mention my 29 years of Java experience?

I also helped design the big-bang... True storey!

Anon:

It is supposedly self abuse as in the strict word of the bible it is a sin.

nah, it's just the catholics that think so.

Anon:

It is supposedly self abuse as in the strict word of the bible it is a sin.

Um, no it's not. You'll never find a chapter and verse to back your claim. Wearing blended fabrics, though, THAT is a sin! Deuteronomy 22:11.

C-Octothorpe:

Jamoche:

Ever since being hired, Adam had spent most of his time working on new projects.

Please. You expect me to believe a wtf-worthy company puts new hires on new projects?

I missed the part of the storey where it said Adam was a junior developer.

Q: You have ten years of experience and get hired at a new company. How many years of experience do you have?

a) Ten years
b) Zero

I missed the part of my comment where I said he was junior.