Comment On Element of Violence

"Avast blocked itself from updating on reboot," Tejio writes, "if it can't trust itself, who can it trust?" [expand full text]
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Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:04 • by KattMan
Frist post again

Violence, high dollar ammounts and hidden important messages, this post sounds like the plot of some new action movie.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:04 • by first (unregistered)
First, not frist!

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:05 • by blip (unregistered)
Replace this comment with FRIST as per spec.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:12 • by P. Almonius (unregistered)
Less violins, more cowbell.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:15 • by Yazeran
Well I guess Avast is trying to tell us something important here.. :-)

Yazeran

Plan: To go to Mars one day with a hammer

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:20 • by Snowbody (unregistered)
Symantec sells "a wide range of security prod"? Is that more like a cattle prod or a taser?

captcha: nisl (never is symantec lucky)

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:29 • by Joe (unregistered)
OMG, I've never seen an error message that tells me to contact my system administrator before!

LOL, WTF, ETC, ETC, ETC, ETC, ETC, FR1ST, ETC, ETC

--Joe

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:42 • by Kurt (unregistered)
If you're going to buy norton, it should throw an error. DoNotBuyException: "this is not a good product"

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:43 • by $$ERR:get_name_fail (unregistered)
What? Nobody said it yet?
Hooray, this is my first time... wait for it....

TRWTF IS PHP

Yeah, I did it! I am so original!

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:52 • by Strolskon
"I got this message trying to buy a game that was included as a demo with my xbox," wrote Ryan, "it was a fun game, but I just can't justify the $53.6M cost. If it was only $50M... maybe."


"I liked the trial version of Marble Blast Ultra," wrote TJ, "but after some deliberation, I decided $53,687,091.18 worth of MS points was a little steep for the full version.


(I was gonna post all of these as images right here with a fake similar description but I'm not gonna be that much of a dick. Let's see if you can find the odd one.)
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8
- 9
- 10

etc.


Oh hey, that's cool: you can send a message and then edit it to avoid the stupid Akismet.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:53 • by Strolskon
(but I can't delete this comment for some reason)

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:56 • by the beholder (unregistered)
TRWTF is anyone finding an error in Symantec's store. Given the quality of the products they sell I expected that store to be completely buyers-free

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:56 • by RichP
381499 in reply to 381490
Snowbody:
Symantec sells "a wide range of security prod"? Is that more like a cattle prod or a taser?

captcha: nisl (never is symantec lucky)


Real security pros know that you need to use hardware security prods for maximum performance. The software prods are more of a gimmick. Sure, their cheaper and allow you to check off a box during your annual BOFH audit, but they just don't pack the punch of a "real" prod.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 09:57 • by wonk (unregistered)
Obviously, Adobe has been warned about violence, so it is resorting to XML.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 10:35 • by Mcoder
With the number of WTFs on MS's pricing at the XBox store, I wonder how many errors escape without being called a WTF just because they are small, and how many people lose money that way.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 10:54 • by anon (unregistered)
That USB cable isn't terribly outrageous - have you not heard of AudioQuest?

Are people really daft enough to pay $1450 for USB cable?

http://www.audioquest.com/mini-usb-digital-audio/diamond

http://www.audioquest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/audioquest_retail_pricebook.pdf

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 11:24 • by F (unregistered)
381508 in reply to 381496
Strolskon:

...
(I was gonna post all of these as images right here with a fake similar description but I'm not gonna be that much of a dick. Let's see if you can find the odd one.)
...

Stop complaining. It must be well over a week since someone posted a variant on this one. If we're really lucky, we might get another one next week, maybe two.

(What do you mean, you don't expect to get the same tired old stuff posted over and over again? This *is* TDWTF ...)

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 11:27 • by JJ (unregistered)
381509 in reply to 381505
anon:
That USB cable isn't terribly outrageous - have you not heard of AudioQuest?

Are people really daft enough to pay $1450 for USB cable?

http://www.audioquest.com/mini-usb-digital-audio/diamond

http://www.audioquest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/audioquest_retail_pricebook.pdf

Awww, I was trying to find the $2500 HDMI cable on Amazon, but they don't appear to have it anymore. What I did find was more (ridiculous) AudioQuest stuff, but nowhere near that price.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 11:43 • by bob (unregistered)
381511 in reply to 381498
But where else can you get #@UNKNOWN@# enterprise software?

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 11:48 • by Points User (unregistered)
381512 in reply to 381501
Mcoder:
With the number of WTFs on MS's pricing at the XBox store, I wonder how many errors escape without being called a WTF just because they are small, and how many people lose money that way.


Had an error where it double-charged for an XBLA game once, despite them saying something like that should never happen. Some sort of error when attempting to buy, then after trying to do so again, had twice the points missing.

HOWEVER, the support staff did refund them. Also found out that you can get a listing of your purchase history and points deductions, so it was easy to see two copies of the same game one after another.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 12:04 • by DaveK
381516 in reply to 381496
Strolskon:
(I was gonna post all of these as images right here with a fake similar description but I'm not gonna be that much of a dick. Let's see if you can find the odd one.)
#6! At least SOMEBODY recognizes a signed integer when they see it!

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 12:47 • by Klimax (unregistered)
381518 in reply to 381501
Mcoder:
With the number of WTFs on MS's pricing at the XBox store, I wonder how many errors escape without being called a WTF just because they are small, and how many people lose money that way.


Last time similar thing was posted, somebody pointed out it is MS way to keep game in-store for owners to (re-)download, but nobody else being able to buy it due to problem with game. (generaly about license)

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 13:02 • by Frank (unregistered)
The avast dialog shows that it is going to http...avast.com and yes it is entirely correct to block downloading content over http that will change the behavior of your computer. It should, of course, be https. Otherwise you don't know that you've really reached avast.com. If you've been lured into a fake site, they can give you garbage for the update and really ruin your day.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 13:06 • by Carl (unregistered)
So the "Replace this box with PI statement as per spec" stuff is copyright 2009. Does that mean it hasn't been noticed and fixed in 3 years, or did the OP send this to Alex 3 years ago?

I'm really thinking the odds are about 50/50 here...

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 13:13 • by Jake (unregistered)
381521 in reply to 381516
DaveK:
Strolskon:
(I was gonna post all of these as images right here with a fake similar description but I'm not gonna be that much of a dick. Let's see if you can find the odd one.)
#6! At least SOMEBODY recognizes a signed integer when they see it!
Please tell me which one that is that costs -1 to download? At that price I can afford a million copies!

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 13:14 • by esse (unregistered)
381522 in reply to 381483
KattMan:
Frist post again

Violence, high dollar amounts and hidden important messages, this post sounds like the plot of some new action movie.

Yes it's "The DWTF Code", based on the best-selling book.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 13:25 • by Kivi
381523 in reply to 381521
Jake:
Please tell me which one that is that costs -1 to download? At that price I can afford a million copies!

I'll take two million!

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 13:29 • by Jake (unregistered)
381524 in reply to 381523
Kivi:
Jake:
Please tell me which one that is that costs -1 to download? At that price I can afford a million copies!

I'll take two million!
Now now, let's don't all jump on it at once, we wouldn't want to run them out of stock. To be fair you should wait until I finish my million downloads. I'll post a note here when I'm done and it will be your turn. Anyone else, get in line.

Captcha: ideo. It was my ideo.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 13:33 • by Jay (unregistered)
How much explanation do you want on Quick Start instructions? Just follow the directions. Take the device out of the box, and put it in a cherry pie.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 13:48 • by Administrator (unregistered)
I'm really sick of those "please contact your administrator" messages. Why TF are you programmers sending people to me to fix your crappy stuff?

I had a guy just the other day call me "I can't print! It says to call my administrator." So I asked him: did I make the printer? No. Did I make your laptop? No. Did I make your document? No! So why the hell do you think I would be the one to make them work? "The computer told me to call you, so I called you."

*grumble*

Now I'll have to log out of Second Life. And just when that female avatar was really getting hot for me.

This sort of nonsense must be punished.

So I go to his office (a half hour later, just to avoid setting expectations) and hand him a thumb drive.

"Here. Plug this in."

He does. The fool. Muhahaha!!

"Click on IMALUSER.EXE"

"But..."

"Just do it!"

So of course he does. God, they make it so easy!

Five minutes later he's back on the phone. "I still can't print." Well of course he can't. I didn't make the printer, I didn't make the laptop... some people are really slow!

So I hung up on him.

The real fun began a few minutes later, when he started getting random pop-ups telling him to quack like a duck, run up and down the halls doing the funky chicken, and, eventually, of course, to throw himself off the roof of the six-floor building.

Hey, if you're going to call the admin just because the computer tells you to call the admin, I figure you'll do anything else the computer says. And, frankly, you've got it coming.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 14:08 • by method1
re:that crazy Amazon price, I was browsing eBay for external drives yesterday & there were a few people selling what seemed like cheap drives for £999 or some other silly price like a few grand. The people placing the ads seem like very active eBay sellers, but it looks more like money laundering or illegal movement of cash, otherwise it just doesn't make sense to me - anyone else see this?

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 14:15 • by Tom (unregistered)
381528 in reply to 381526
Administrator:
...eventually, of course, to throw himself off the roof of the six-floor building...
BOFH, is that you?!! You're my hero!

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 14:33 • by wonk (unregistered)
381529 in reply to 381526
Administrator:

Now I'll have to log out of Second Life. And just when that female avatar was really getting hot for me.


Umm...you do know that that female avatar is probably backed by a..er...nevermind. Have fun, man.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 14:35 • by Administrator (unregistered)
381530 in reply to 381528
Tom:
Administrator:
...eventually, of course, to throw himself off the roof of the six-floor building...
BOFH, is that you?!! You're my hero!
No, but I worked with him briefly, many years ago. He used to call me PFY before he died. Now I'll never know what that stood for. Probably "Peon First Year" based on how he treated me. Ahh, memories!

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 14:47 • by null (unregistered)
381531 in reply to 381530
Administrator:
Tom:
Administrator:
...eventually, of course, to throw himself off the roof of the six-floor building...
BOFH, is that you?!! You're my hero!
No, but I worked with him briefly, many years ago. He used to call me PFY before he died. Now I'll never know what that stood for. Probably "Peon First Year" based on how he treated me. Ahh, memories!

I was going to say something, but captcha apparently wants to say it for me....

Captcha: 'haero', BOFH is my haero too! And PFY was a good, loyal side-kick. :-)

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 14:54 • by foo (unregistered)
381532 in reply to 381525
Jay:
How much explanation do you want on Quick Start instructions? Just follow the directions. Take the device out of the box, and put it in a cherry pie.
Then call customer support and slowly drive them crazy.

And don't forget to post the recording.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 14:55 • by CAPTCHA: quis (unregistered)
381533 in reply to 381526
Administrator:
So why the hell do you think I would be the one to make them work?

Because you're the administrator.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 15:42 • by martie (unregistered)
violence is bad, mkay?

captcha: bene

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 15:54 • by Programmer (unregistered)
381536 in reply to 381526
Administrator:
Why TF are you programmers sending people to me to fix your crappy stuff?

I had a guy just the other day call me "I can't print! It says to call my administrator." So I asked him: did I make the printer? No. Did I make your laptop? No. Did I make your document? No! So why the hell do you think I would be the one to make them work?

Wow!

So you both:

a) diagnosed the problem with the simple knowledge that the user "can't print", and

b) irrespective of the problem, only support documents that you've created using software that you've written on hardware that you've made.

I whole-heartedly agree with you that someone should be thrown off the roof.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 17:36 • by AP² (unregistered)
381539 in reply to 381519
Frank:
The avast dialog shows that it is going to http...avast.com and yes it is entirely correct to block downloading content over http that will change the behavior of your computer. It should, of course, be https. Otherwise you don't know that you've really reached avast.com. If you've been lured into a fake site, they can give you garbage for the update and really ruin your day.

If you're a developer, please let me know what you worked on so I can avoid it.

If you're relying on HTTPS to protect you from an executable that will be run under SYSTEM, you already lost. Executables should be digitally signed by a developer using PGP or similar, with the public key stored in the program itself.

You cannot rely on the invulnerability of the whole web server stack (it isn't) and this way you can actually use a CDN to serve the updates.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 18:05 • by taixzo
Why does the page end with:



>

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 18:49 • by LOL (unregistered)
Falmer station? FUS RO DAH!!!!

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-18 23:15 • by Luiz Felipe (unregistered)
pc usb cable 260gw, this is some kind of superconductor usb stuff? must be that price.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-19 00:00 • by Coyne
I was really amused by the other text on the HP Extended Life Batter instructions: I wasn't aware they made batteries equipped with Blue Tooth.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-19 01:47 • by ChrisL (unregistered)
It seems like the Xbox price thing was an unsigned 32-bit integer, and they entered '-1'.

But credit really to whoever was intelligent enough to specify it being unsigned, because otherwise you could've been /payed/ to take the game off XBox Live's store!

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-19 04:18 • by linepro (unregistered)
381550 in reply to 381500
wonk:
Obviously, Adobe has been warned about violence, so it is resorting to XML.


One of the main causes of violence IS XML.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-19 08:19 • by vincent (unregistered)
So we found one in the few guys in the world that configured errors as fatal in php

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-19 14:26 • by Decaf (unregistered)
Pleased to see that the thoroughly reasonably-priced USB cable is still up there: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cable-Garmin-Nuvi-200w-250w/dp/B003CJ6IMA/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1337451534&sr=8-9.

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-20 19:44 • by Nigel Coddingsworth (unregistered)
381561 in reply to 381555
Decaf:
Pleased to see that the thoroughly reasonably-priced USB cable is still up there: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cable-Garmin-Nuvi-200w-250w/dp/B003CJ6IMA/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1337451534&sr=8-9.


Reasonably priced my sweet arse. Those cheeky blighters wanted 20 quid for shipping!

Re: Element of Violence

2012-05-20 23:25 • by john (unregistered)
381563 in reply to 381526
Administrator:
I'm really sick of those "please contact your administrator" messages. Why TF are you programmers sending people to me to fix your crappy stuff?

I had a guy just the other day call me "I can't print! It says to call my administrator." So I asked him: did I make the printer? No. Did I make your laptop? No. Did I make your document? No! So why the hell do you think I would be the one to make them work? "The computer told me to call you, so I called you."

*grumble*

Now I'll have to log out of Second Life. And just when that female avatar was really getting hot for me.

This sort of nonsense must be punished.

So I go to his office (a half hour later, just to avoid setting expectations) and hand him a thumb drive.

"Here. Plug this in."

He does. The fool. Muhahaha!!

"Click on IMALUSER.EXE"

"But..."

"Just do it!"

So of course he does. God, they make it so easy!

Five minutes later he's back on the phone. "I still can't print." Well of course he can't. I didn't make the printer, I didn't make the laptop... some people are really slow!

So I hung up on him.

The real fun began a few minutes later, when he started getting random pop-ups telling him to quack like a duck, run up and down the halls doing the funky chicken, and, eventually, of course, to throw himself off the roof of the six-floor building.

Hey, if you're going to call the admin just because the computer tells you to call the admin, I figure you'll do anything else the computer says. And, frankly, you've got it coming.

I contact the Administrator because I've always been taught he is God. Clearly he's just some fuckwit, and I'll get the printer fixed myself next time.

Don't you hate it when Admins are wankers and then don't understand why everyone seems to do the world's stupidest stuff just to waste their time? It's no coincidence. When you treat someone like a dumb idiot, expect them to behave like a dumb idiot.
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