Comment On IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

IBM Survivor (from Reid Maynard) In the middle of the dot-com bust, I interviewed at IBM for a contract position. I can't remember exactly what the position was, but I'll never forget the interview. [expand full text]
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Re: What is "programming"?

2008-06-06 09:08 • by Mike (unregistered)
199163 in reply to 198975
[quote user="AlanGriffiths"]It used to be that "bad" meant, well "bad", but now it means "good". (I'm not sure what to say to mean "bad" maybe "evil"? Or does that mean "good"?)

I hereby nominate "Potential Microsoft/Yahoo Merger" as the new replacement for the traditional meaning of "bad" in our common vernacular.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 09:47 • by andrewbadera
I worked for IBM on a short contract in 1999 or 2000, at the age of 20? maybe 21. They hired me based on a phone interview only, for an ASP/SQL job working on a large circuit order and disconnect contract enforcement system that they used to enforce contract dates and terms with AT&T, their circuit provider. The integration point? Lotus f-ing Notes, and an ever-evolving data model managed by a guy who had been doing RDB for 25+ years and was more than slightly OCD. Lesson learned: never work for a company based on a phone interview alone, even on a contract.

The reason it was a short contract? Total non-fit. Beyond the Lotus Notes pain, they were way too tight about dress code -- ties every day -- and the fulltimers greatly resented the rates I, the highest rate contractor, was getting paid. Of course they ignored the crazy vacation days and health benefits they enjoyed. Lesson learned: don't reveal your rate, even to fellow contractors you think you can trust. It will get out.

The one upside of that whole experience? Working with a massive DB2 database on an RS/whatever platform. Sick, sick, sick RDBMS.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 09:51 • by real_aardvark
199193 in reply to 199157
TInkerghost:
anon:


Big deal... We had a hot accountant in my old old job (desktop support) who had her own porn site... Believe me, we fought over who got to help her with any trouble-tickets. One of the guys on my team slept with her, but I'm pretty sure he had to pay for it.

Unfortunately, something like that never stays secret, so she got fired a month or so after we discovered her web-page (Supposedly, she actually was a good accountant. They didn't really want to fire her; just told her she couldn't be an accountant there AND have a porn-site. She choose to keep the porn-site up and they let her go)

Captcha: eros (of course)

We had a trainer at one company I worked for who was a Pro-Dom after hours, same company had a stripper ... seems they both worked there for the health insurance as they made much more money at the 2nd job.
So according to HR - Pro-Dom bad, stripper Good.
Surely the trainer would have been better employed as a Pro-Dom during office hours?

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 10:14 • by spinn (unregistered)
199201 in reply to 199016
AT:
Third option on the popping-top: Plead that you foolishly drank a large cup of coffee/water/soda just before the interview and you desperately need a quick restroom break. That gives her an opportunity to discover and correct her clothing failure while preserving ambiguity as to whether you actually noticed the spill.


To be honest, I don't think "I need some time alone in the bathroom RIGHT NOW" would really have been the right response, either.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 10:26 • by charonme
199209 in reply to 199067
FredSaw:
K von M:
...that blouse-popper story is exactly why i never wear button-down shirts in the office. even now, it's always pull-overs or cardigans with tank tops underneath.
I think we're going to need pictures.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 11:22 • by BT (unregistered)
199236 in reply to 199016
Or, in the worst case, it leaves the impression that you noticed the "clothing failure" and went for a quick wank in the restroom...

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 11:23 • by BT (unregistered)
199237 in reply to 199016
AT:
Third option on the popping-top: Plead that you foolishly drank a large cup of coffee/water/soda just before the interview and you desperately need a quick restroom break. That gives her an opportunity to discover and correct her clothing failure while preserving ambiguity as to whether you actually noticed the spill.

Or, in the worst case, it leaves the impression that you noticed the "clothing failure" and went for a quick wank in the restroom...

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 12:23 • by James (unregistered)
199258 in reply to 199070
Anonymous:
FredSaw:
shakin:
I once interviewed a very attractive young woman who showed up at the interview with her fly undone and wearing bright pink underwear.
What, no Sharon Stone impression? Aw...


I used to work with a female programmer that was not only hot, but in the summer she wore a tight top that showed her bellybutton and very low cut pants. She also wore pink underware that was flashed every time she sat down or bent over.

Description:
* Early twenties
* Blonde
* Very attractive
* Higly fit (washboard stomach)
* Perfect breasts

I'm not making this up. I swear.


I'm sorry, your claim is in violation of Rule 15.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 12:31 • by blm (unregistered)
199265 in reply to 198965
I agree, assuming the tests were on point, that sounded like a reasonable interview. Would the poster rather have started with a one-on-one, that asked all the same questions that were on the test? That would waste both the interviewer's and interviewee's time.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 14:06 • by Andrew (unregistered)
I worked with a pair of women who would show off some part of their body on purpose. It was part of the interview. It’s a test to see how cool you react. Best to just smile and spend more time looking them in the eyes. Anytime they were able to arouse someone they ended the interview. Their reason was that if you couldn’t handle the pressure of the interview by a hot woman then you’d probably fold under the pressure of you job too.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 14:16 • by Anonymous Coward (unregistered)
FIND THE COMMENT!!!!

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 15:33 • by KenW
199292 in reply to 199237
BT:
AT:
Third option on the popping-top: Plead that you foolishly drank a large cup of coffee/water/soda just before the interview and you desperately need a quick restroom break. That gives her an opportunity to discover and correct her clothing failure while preserving ambiguity as to whether you actually noticed the spill.

Or, in the worst case, it leaves the impression that you noticed the "clothing failure" and went for a quick wank in the restroom...


Nice. So you not only failed to notice that 20 or so others had already posted the same thing, but then also decided you needed to post twice, with and without quoting the post you were needlessly replying to yet again. Thanks - there's never enough useless tripe here.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 16:23 • by TZ (unregistered)
199299 in reply to 199121
Should of told the bosom (I mean business) woman that you liked her shoes.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 18:13 • by Uh huh (unregistered)
199307 in reply to 199016
>> Third option on the popping-top: Plead that you foolishly drank a large cup of coffee/water/soda just before the interview and you desperately need a quick restroom break.

Oh, right, the poor woman's top comes open and you run to the restroom right away? Hopefully, she'd never put 2+2 together on THAT one.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 18:39 • by BT (unregistered)
199308 in reply to 199292
KenW:
BT:
AT:
Third option on the popping-top: Plead that you foolishly drank a large cup of coffee/water/soda just before the interview and you desperately need a quick restroom break. That gives her an opportunity to discover and correct her clothing failure while preserving ambiguity as to whether you actually noticed the spill.

Or, in the worst case, it leaves the impression that you noticed the "clothing failure" and went for a quick wank in the restroom...


Nice. So you not only failed to notice that 20 or so others had already posted the same thing, but then also decided you needed to post twice, with and without quoting the post you were needlessly replying to yet again. Thanks - there's never enough useless tripe here.


No problem, it was my pleasure.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 21:42 • by Another anonymous (Amish) coward (unregistered)
199312 in reply to 199073
Robert S. Robbins:
Why do do people interview for jobs at IBM, Microsoft, or Google? You should come to Pennsylvania and interview for jobs with the Amish. They never ask tough technical questions.

Sorry...my manager is Amish, as was the former manager--who now has a software company in Asia. Without getting into all the nuances, I'm a variant of Amish as well. And, yes, technical questions are part of the interview process--though aptitude, interest in quality, and willingness to learn are more important than specific technical skills coming in.

Believe it. :)

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 22:03 • by James O'Boston (unregistered)
199316 in reply to 199026
Bravo. Very well said.
or... You tell 'em
or... TRUTH!

in any case, trusting your instincts is a really good thing at times like these. A job is a commitment for a really long time...

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 22:06 • by James O'Boston (unregistered)
199317 in reply to 199073
Robert S. Robbins:
Why do do people interview for jobs at IBM, Microsoft, or Google? You should come to Pennsylvania and interview for jobs with the Amish. They never ask tough technical questions.


and the pies! The sweet, flaky-crusted Amish pies!

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 23:06 • by andy brummer (unregistered)
199320 in reply to 199121
Either way you're fixed for life.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-06 23:07 • by andy brummer (unregistered)
199321 in reply to 199121
chrome:
Phil:
I reckon you should have grabbed a penny from your pocket and aimed at the cleavage. If you land it in there, the job is yours.


Lawsuit, job, they're both the same really.


Either way you're fixed for life.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-07 10:27 • by Edward Royce (unregistered)
199341 in reply to 199201
spinn:
AT:
Third option on the popping-top: Plead that you foolishly drank a large cup of coffee/water/soda just before the interview and you desperately need a quick restroom break. That gives her an opportunity to discover and correct her clothing failure while preserving ambiguity as to whether you actually noticed the spill.


To be honest, I don't think "I need some time alone in the bathroom RIGHT NOW" would really have been the right response, either.


Though a camera equipped phone + bathroom break would be killer.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-07 10:29 • by Edward Royce (unregistered)
199342 in reply to 199284
Andrew:
I worked with a pair of women who would show off some part of their body on purpose. It was part of the interview. It’s a test to see how cool you react. Best to just smile and spend more time looking them in the eyes. Anytime they were able to arouse someone they ended the interview. Their reason was that if you couldn’t handle the pressure of the interview by a hot woman then you’d probably fold under the pressure of you job too.


So their office was staffed entirely by women and gay guys?

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-07 10:41 • by A Person (unregistered)
199343 in reply to 199284
Andrew:
Their reason was that if you couldn’t handle the pressure of the interview by a hot woman then you’d probably fold under the pressure of you job too.


Bull. There is a key difference between a hot woman and a stressful job: the latter doesn't have breasts. We're talking totally different degrees of pressure here.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-07 12:09 • by dun (unregistered)
199344 in reply to 199060
Agreed - Hiring is a two-part process: they need to want you, and you need to want *them*. If their behavior in the interview convinces you that you don't want to work there, excusing yourself saves your time and theirs. (Yes, most recruiters/interviewers tend to be very confused at this point, but that's their problem, not yours.) I've walked out on a couple interviews (generally variations on the group interview / everyone's hired shtick.)

And sadly, it's getting worse: a friend just started a temp job (basic admin ass't work). Turns out they've hired 12 temps, and are narrowing them down reality-show style (here's a project - compete against each other to see who can do it best/fastest). Keep in mind that the job he applied/was hired for was explicitly *temporary* - there was no indication of a possibility of full-time, so the whole thing is pretty amusing at his end (they're tracking and questioning everything in terms of "are you really dedicated to the company"?) Fortunately, he's taking it in good humor (he didn't want the job as full-time anyway, so he doesn't feel the pressure).

I wonder when "Admin Assistant Survivor" will air? (Outfile, out-staple, out-collate?)[/quote]

Do you think dropped enough parens in here? This isn't perl you know!

captcha: nulla - is this a 5GL thang?

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-08 10:28 • by JOhn Thomas (unregistered)
199355 in reply to 199057
LOL< dont you just LOVE big corporatins and all the red tape that comes with them. What a joke.

JJ
http://www.Ultimate-Anonymity.net

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-08 10:59 • by real_aardvark
199361 in reply to 199312
Another anonymous (Amish) coward:
Robert S. Robbins:
Why do do people interview for jobs at IBM, Microsoft, or Google? You should come to Pennsylvania and interview for jobs with the Amish. They never ask tough technical questions.

Sorry...my manager is Amish, as was the former manager--who now has a software company in Asia. Without getting into all the nuances, I'm a variant of Amish as well. And, yes, technical questions are part of the interview process--though aptitude, interest in quality, and willingness to learn are more important than specific technical skills coming in.

Believe it. :)
But what about barn-raising?

You mean, I've done all the prep for the interview, got splinters and calluses all over my hands, and now I realise that all I have to do is to wink at the gal opposite me in the interview and say "Hey ... niiiice bonnet! By the way, one or two of your hooks may have slipped."

Well, there go my chances of getting off with Kelly McGillis. A shame, really. If a squirt like Tom Cruise could manage it, I'm sure I can.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-09 03:27 • by csrster (unregistered)
199477 in reply to 199317
James O'Boston:
Robert S. Robbins:
Why do do people interview for jobs at IBM, Microsoft, or Google? You should come to Pennsylvania and interview for jobs with the Amish. They never ask tough technical questions.


and the pies! The sweet, flaky-crusted Amish pies!


and you _never_ have to worry about their blouse-buttons popping open during the interview.

(Ok, I admit that all that I know about the Amish I learned from "Witness".)

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-09 13:25 • by Matt (unregistered)
199541 in reply to 199073
Having grown up in Amish country, my observation is that web development is far far easier than working on an Amish farm. Sure, interview to your heart's content. Maybe I can pass your name along to one of the Yoders or Millers I know, and they'll get back to you via email. Or I could pass along their business cell number.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-09 23:13 • by Geoff (unregistered)
And then it dawned on me: I could just leave.


Could have also resumed after lunch, then stood up after 5 minutes and said "sorry, this isn't the kind of company i'm looking for" and walked out.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-10 15:56 • by Dave (unregistered)
199742 in reply to 199016
AT:
Third option on the popping-top: Plead that you foolishly drank a large cup of coffee/water/soda just before the interview and you desperately need a quick restroom break. That gives her an opportunity to discover and correct her clothing failure while preserving ambiguity as to whether you actually noticed the spill.


Yeah right. She is coming unbuttoned and you ran off to the bathroom all of the sudden. That is going to look much worse!

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-16 17:50 • by Jonah (unregistered)
200512 in reply to 199016
AT:
Third option on the popping-top: Plead that you foolishly drank a large cup of coffee/water/soda just before the interview and you desperately need a quick restroom break. That gives her an opportunity to discover and correct her clothing failure while preserving ambiguity as to whether you actually noticed the spill.


The trouble with that is she might have thought that you definitely *had* noticed the popping top and had rushed to the restroom for an altogether less salubrious purpose ...

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-17 04:18 • by Tea boy (unregistered)
200534 in reply to 199016
Plead that you foolishly drank a large cup of coffee/water/soda just before the interview and you desperately need a quick restroom break.


Don't you think once see realizes her wardrobe malfunction which you failed to point out to her that her next thought might be your some pervert who clearly would have noticed who has run off to the restroom for a little excitement release??

Still I am not sure there was a right answer for this one!

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-06-17 08:36 • by AC (unregistered)
Any bets on how many "But going to teh restroom is making it look like you're going for a wank" replies are coming^Wposted after this post?

My bet is 7.

If the interview is this bad...........

2008-06-18 06:07 • by Peter (unregistered)


I had a interview at a technology development company, with the Manager I would be working for. He started of the interview well with a few searching questions, and then stated that what he really wanted was someone better than his current team...and went on to describe each individual with detailed descriptions of each of their faults and shortcomings.

On my way out I requested to see the HR person again "to clear up a few admin things". I basically told her that I would not be working there no matter how much they might offer because there was no way I would ever work for a Manager who slaggs off his employees to a complete stranger. She gave me a haunted look and said that she'd had a few comments from previous interviewers, and was looking forward to him retiring the following year. Her and the rest of his team I would guess.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2008-10-26 16:59 • by j (unregistered)
The high road story reminds me of one of my own experiences.

I had a high-strung female manager, hot.

She asked me to resolve a production problem. I don't remember exactly why, but it was beyond my skillset at the time.

She wanted a resolution. I was the only one she trusted and I had nothing to offer to the situation.

As she became more desperate, she leaned forward and inadvertently gave me an unobstructed view of her right breast.

I started looking everywhere, except in her direction.

On my subsequent performance review she mentioned my decorum that day. Not fair since I wasn't the one flashing.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2009-01-21 23:50 • by sfsad (unregistered)

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Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

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Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2009-04-24 16:34 • by konan (unregistered)

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2009-12-28 17:12 • by Rick (unregistered)
Having spent nearly a year in the hell-hole that is IBM, I can unequivocally state that the "IBM survivor" did the right thing.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2010-12-21 09:37 • by cindy (unregistered)
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Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2011-04-23 10:01 • by rionka (unregistered)
345180 in reply to 198965
ye, it's called Assessment Center and IBM is still doing this because it's "objective". no tools just lots of paper.

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2013-08-16 14:40 • by Sean (unregistered)
415301 in reply to 199115
A couple years ago, I applied to a job at a place I left when I was in high school. Apparently I did not leave a great impression because I had a couple write ups that led me to not get rehired. Granted they were the one basing their impression of a 23 year old after their write ups of a 14 year old...

Re: IBM Survivor, The High Road, & Find the Function!

2014-03-12 15:23 • by Emperor_Z (unregistered)
You probably would have been fine if you'd just said "Excuse me ma'am, but your blouse is coming unbuttoned", instead of just awkwardly pointing at her tits.
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