Comment On It's Business Critical!

This comment overlaid with a wtf-ery ad.

Haughty consultant demands ridiculous changes that no one uses.

Par for the course!

Sounds like when "Push Comes to Shove", when Mr. Van Halen says "It's the 'One I Want'," he gets what's he wants "Right Now." Hopefully the company has learned its lesson and "Won't Get Fooled Again."

Its better than SourceSafe

Justin and Brian had a lunch and learn with the product group to get them up to speed. The consultant came in, we turned over the system to him, confirmed all was well, and he did his thing.

A slight glitch in the write-up process, hmm?

littlebobbytables:

Its better than SourceSafe

Everything is. Probably even the zip-archive scm.

I meant the zip-archive scm.

Ok, but...

They supposedly had SVN running somewhere, and then this hobgoblin control system was set up, and then they used a zip file and a spreadsheet to track changes? I understand that it sounds like it was just SQL queries (and not the entire code base) but still, if you have SVN just sitting right over there... wtf?

For me the biggest wtf was the solution developers came with :/ Why they just didn't continue with SVN? This way there will be always room for these "consultants".

So, to summarise, the consultant did something sensible, then the developers did something awful because they found a sensible solution too hard to use.

Knux2:

Sounds like when "Push Comes to Shove", when Mr. Van Halen says "It's the 'One I Want'," he gets what's he wants "Right Now." Hopefully the company has learned its lesson and "Won't Get Fooled Again."

It's too bad SVN wasn't Good Enough, but at the very least they should have told him to Finish What Ya Started.

Sure... i'll get you the Share Name, let me find my asset tag FRIST.

And that's why IT always has to backup every single thing in the company, even the wooden table!

smit:

Knux2:

Sounds like when "Push Comes to Shove", when Mr. Van Halen says "It's the 'One I Want'," he gets what's he wants "Right Now." Hopefully the company has learned its lesson and "Won't Get Fooled Again."

It's too bad SVN wasn't Good Enough, but at the very least they should have told him to Finish What Ya Started.

I had an Eruption because I was so Hot for Teacher.

wait, what?

summarise -- Japanese pizza doh?

My consultant was having trouble with his computer, so I duct taped a solution and then the product team accidentally by zero.

LONG LIVE ZIP FILE ARCHIVES!

Fun fact:
Van Halen actually put the M&M's clause into the contract to ensure that the concert runners had actually read through the contract and done everything according to spec.

Van Halen's crew could tell real quick if they should double check the concert stage's setup if the M&M clause wasn't followed. It was especially useful to check before they unloaded and hooked up sound equipment that'd pop a circuit mid-show.

Knux2:

Hopefully the company has learned its lesson and "Won't Get Fooled Again."

Best joke I've heard all year!

The Real WTF is that Justin and Brian did not think to try emailing the consultant...

Ah, I see someone has had a run-in with IBM ClearCase as well. *shivers*

Captcha: tation (what kind of -tation, I wonder?)

ClutchDude:

Fun fact:
Van Halen actually put the M&M's clause into the contract to ensure that the concert runners had actually read through the contract and done everything according to spec.

Van Halen's crew could tell real quick if they should double check the concert stage's setup if the M&M clause wasn't followed. It was especially useful to check before they unloaded and hooked up sound equipment that'd pop a circuit mid-show.

Fun fact: that's what he told the music press once it came out so he wouldn't sound like a picky self-obsessed moron.

As the story goes the management at a venue in Pueblo, Colorado didn't bother to read the contract and set up eighteen quadrillion frak-tons of rockstaraphanalia on top of their new basketball court floor. David Lee Roth (no relation) pitched a fit when he saw brown M&Ms in his dressing room, but it was the arena management who did $80,000 of damage to their own floor by not bothering to read the contract they had signed.

I read it in Snopes, so it must be true. And I can trust Snopes because Snopes tells me to. Trust the Snopes. The Snopes is your friend.

Duct tape: heat resistant tape specifically designed for ducting and other high-heat applications.

Duck tape: magic universal waterproof anything fixer.

Get it right guys, you don't want end up with duct tape when you really need some duck tape.

So they only discovered this because they failed to put a whole freakin' rack of servers on a UPS? I thought planning for power problems was IT 101...

smit:

Knux2:

Sounds like when "Push Comes to Shove", when Mr. Van Halen says "It's the 'One I Want'," he gets what's he wants "Right Now." Hopefully the company has learned its lesson and "Won't Get Fooled Again."

It's too bad SVN wasn't Good Enough, but at the very least they should have told him to Finish What Ya Started.

This is what happens when you Jump just because someone says to.

"Resources were cobbled together, servers configured, security enabled, duct tape applied, and while still a bit rough, all in all, to Justin and Brian's satisfaction, they had gotten in place what they felt was a robust solution for cheap."

Ah, the mighty 7 comma sentence.

Anonymous:

Duct tape: heat resistant tape specifically designed for ducting and other high-heat applications.

Duck tape: magic universal waterproof anything fixer.

Get it right guys, you don't want end up with duct tape when you really need some duck tape.

I think you meant s/Duck tape/Crystal Meth

DCRoss:

I read it in Snopes, so it must be true. And I can trust Snopes because Snopes tells me to. Trust the Snopes. The Snopes is your friend.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Or, to put it another way: http://xkcd.com/250/

Anonymous:

Duct tape: heat resistant tape specifically designed for ducting and other high-heat applications.

Duck tape: magic universal waterproof anything fixer.

Get it right guys, you don't want end up with duct tape when you really need some duck tape.

Trolls get hungry too right? I'll feed one...

interwebs:

The first name for Duct Tape was DUCK. During World War II the U.S. Military needed a waterproof tape to keep the moisture out of ammunition cases. So, they enlisted the Johnson and Johnson Permacel Division to manufacture the tape. Because it was waterproof, everyone referred to it as “duck” tape (like water off a duck’s back). Military personnel discovered that the tape was good for lots more than keeping out water. They used it for Jeep repair, fixing stuff on their guns, strapping equipment to their clothing... the list is endless.

After the War, the housing industry was booming and someone discovered that the tape was great for joining the heating and air conditioning duct work. So, the color was changed from army green to the silvery color we are familiar with today and people started to refer to it as “duct tape*.” Therefore, either name is appropriate.

It's the same damn thing.

amischiefr:

Anonymous:

Duct tape: heat resistant tape specifically designed for ducting and other high-heat applications.

Duck tape: magic universal waterproof anything fixer.

Get it right guys, you don't want end up with duct tape when you really need some duck tape.

Trolls get hungry too right? I'll feed one...

interwebs:

<snip>

It's the same damn thing.

If you say so, but don't come crying to me when you end up fixing the hydraulics of a 747 using duct tape instead of duck tape, then your plane explodes after taking off from a beach because you can't retract your landing gear and it rips off while you're trying to get home from the island you've been stranded on for three years. Just saying.

amischiefr:

Anonymous:

Duct tape: heat resistant tape specifically designed for ducting and other high-heat applications.

Duck tape: magic universal waterproof anything fixer.

Get it right guys, you don't want end up with duct tape when you really need some duck tape.

Trolls get hungry too right? I'll feed one...

interwebs:

The first name for Duct Tape was DUCK. During World War II the U.S. Military needed a waterproof tape to keep the moisture out of ammunition cases. So, they enlisted the Johnson and Johnson Permacel Division to manufacture the tape. Because it was waterproof, everyone referred to it as “duck” tape (like water off a duck’s back). Military personnel discovered that the tape was good for lots more than keeping out water. They used it for Jeep repair, fixing stuff on their guns, strapping equipment to their clothing... the list is endless.

After the War, the housing industry was booming and someone discovered that the tape was great for joining the heating and air conditioning duct work. So, the color was changed from army green to the silvery color we are familiar with today and people started to refer to it as “duct tape*.” Therefore, either name is appropriate.

It's the same damn thing.

Nope, there is a difference. The HVAC duct tape is more like heavy duty aluminum foil with really good adhesive. The "duck" tape won't work on ductwork. The heat will destroy it in a few months. If you need more evidence, check out both tapes at the hardware store.

Anonymouse:

So they only discovered this because they failed to put a whole freakin' rack of servers on a UPS? I thought planning for power problems was IT 101...

No, ensuring job security is IT 101

Captcha:abbas -- A freshwater fish; A Low frequency sound; The place where you cannot be tagged.

Big G:

amischiefr:

Anonymous:

Duct tape: heat resistant tape specifically designed for ducting and other high-heat applications.

Duck tape: magic universal waterproof anything fixer.

Get it right guys, you don't want end up with duct tape when you really need some duck tape.

Trolls get hungry too right? I'll feed one...

interwebs:

The first name for Duct Tape was DUCK. During World War II the U.S. Military needed a waterproof tape to keep the moisture out of ammunition cases. So, they enlisted the Johnson and Johnson Permacel Division to manufacture the tape. Because it was waterproof, everyone referred to it as “duck” tape (like water off a duck’s back). Military personnel discovered that the tape was good for lots more than keeping out water. They used it for Jeep repair, fixing stuff on their guns, strapping equipment to their clothing... the list is endless.

After the War, the housing industry was booming and someone discovered that the tape was great for joining the heating and air conditioning duct work. So, the color was changed from army green to the silvery color we are familiar with today and people started to refer to it as “duct tape*.” Therefore, either name is appropriate.

It's the same damn thing.

Nope, there is a difference. The HVAC duct tape is more like heavy duty aluminum foil with really good adhesive. The "duck" tape won't work on ductwork. The heat will destroy it in a few months. If you need more evidence, check out both tapes at the hardware store.

To my mind, this is the final word on the duc[tk] issue.

The real wtf here is that they have a development manager who doesn't see the value in source control! Anyone with any sense would be straight of to polish their CV's at that point!

Big G:

Nope, there is a difference. The HVAC duct tape is more like heavy duty aluminum foil with really good adhesive. The "duck" tape won't work on ductwork. The heat will destroy it in a few months. If you need more evidence, check out both tapes at the hardware store.

Exactly.

The aluminum foil duct tape has a plastic backing that has to be removed right before placement, since it'd stick to itself and be impossible to get off. It's also 3x the cost of a regular roll of duct tape. My old HVAC boss would also bust my nuts when I screwed up a 2' placement and had to use another piece.

littlebobbytables:

Its better than SourceSafe

Having printed source code in a filing cabinet you have to physically check out place on a wooden table, take a picture, print said picture, scan the picture then OCR it.. is better than sourcesafe.

He says that all the time. Every time the press bring it up.

TRWTF is that noone squatted in the empty office with a window and unblocked internet.

Actually the DUCK in Duck Tape came from the kind of canvas used to make the original tape - Canvas Duck

<quote>
Modern canvas is usually made of cotton, although historically speaking, it was made from hemp. It differs from other heavy cotton fabrics, such as denim, in being plain weave rather than twill weave. Canvas comes in two basic types: plain and duck. The threads in duck canvas are more tightly woven. The term duck comes from the Dutch word for cloth, doek. In the United States, canvas is classified in two ways: by weight (ounces per square yard) and by a graded number system. The numbers run in reverse of the weight so a number 10 canvas is lighter than number 4.
</quote>(Wikipedia)

It seems to me that the consultant is right. They are using zip files on a shared drive as source control, findable by post-its stuck on a computer tower.

In the first part of the article I thought they where using some sort of repository software already, but apparently they dont use it as well.

That Eddie did a good thing introducing the repository server, so stupid no-one uses it. (And strange that he went away without saying anything).

Bumble Bee Tuna:

"Resources were cobbled together, servers configured, security enabled, duct tape applied, and while still a bit rough, all in all, to Justin and Brian's satisfaction, they had gotten in place what they felt was a robust solution for cheap."

Ah, the mighty 7 comma sentence.

11 word sentence, each two letters:

If it is to be, it is up to me.

littlebobbytables:

Its better than SourceSafe

So, doing nothing is better than using SourceSafe?

Look, I can respect your opinion of SourceSafe. But do you really want to make risky edits, delete one-of-a-kind files and drive down long blind allies with no possible way to get back to working code.

Or bite the bullet an use SouceSafe?

Of course there are better choices. But that is not the choices you are giving us nor the choice you said you would make.

Here's a sneak preview of tomorrow's WTF. As a bonus, it's tweetable. http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Weve-Gone-VC,-Baby!.aspx


Sourcesafe!

...until he was given a window office, personal coffee maker, and unblocked Internet access)

Sounds like perfectly reasonable requests to me.

Anonymous:

Fun fact: that's what he told the music press once it came out so he wouldn't sound like a picky self-obsessed moron.

Fun fact: random people on the internets know more about celebrities' motivations than people who actually know the people in question!

SnopesHacker:

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Ego illos custodiam. :)

Kef Schecter:

Anonymous:

Fun fact: that's what he told the music press once it came out so he wouldn't sound like a picky self-obsessed moron.

Fun fact: random people on the internets know more about celebrities' motivations than people who actually know the people in question!

I fact checked your assertion at Snopes and it turns out you're absolutely correct! Thanks for backing me up bro!

Buddy:

Bumble Bee Tuna:

"Resources were cobbled together, servers configured, security enabled, duct tape applied, and while still a bit rough, all in all, to Justin and Brian's satisfaction, they had gotten in place what they felt was a robust solution for cheap."

Ah, the mighty 7 comma sentence.

11 word sentence, each two letters:

If it is to be, it is up to me.

you mean in base 9?

Anonymous:

Duct tape: heat resistant tape specifically designed for ducting and other high-heat applications.

Duck tape: magic universal waterproof anything fixer.

Get it right guys, you don't want end up with duct tape when you really need some duck tape.

Duck Tape is simply a brand of duct tape. They chose the name because of all the retards that were too stupid to say "duct tape".

Big G:

amischiefr:

Anonymous:

Duct tape: heat resistant tape specifically designed for ducting and other high-heat applications.

Duck tape: magic universal waterproof anything fixer.

Get it right guys, you don't want end up with duct tape when you really need some duck tape.

Trolls get hungry too right? I'll feed one...

interwebs:

The first name for Duct Tape was DUCK. During World War II the U.S. Military needed a waterproof tape to keep the moisture out of ammunition cases. So, they enlisted the Johnson and Johnson Permacel Division to manufacture the tape. Because it was waterproof, everyone referred to it as “duck” tape (like water off a duck’s back). Military personnel discovered that the tape was good for lots more than keeping out water. They used it for Jeep repair, fixing stuff on their guns, strapping equipment to their clothing... the list is endless.

After the War, the housing industry was booming and someone discovered that the tape was great for joining the heating and air conditioning duct work. So, the color was changed from army green to the silvery color we are familiar with today and people started to refer to it as “duct tape*.” Therefore, either name is appropriate.

It's the same damn thing.

Nope, there is a difference. The HVAC duct tape is more like heavy duty aluminum foil with really good adhesive. The "duck" tape won't work on ductwork. The heat will destroy it in a few months. If you need more evidence, check out both tapes at the hardware store.

FYI: Donk tape is the tape you use to put over the mouths of pedants arguing about what to call a roll of tape.

Mr T:

So, to summarise, the consultant did something sensible, then the developers did something awful because they found a sensible solution too hard to use.

Bingo. Sounds like the consultant is the hero in this story. But this website has an obvious bias against consultants, so...

The manager sat back and laughed, "Heh heh. Yeah he wanted to store all our SQL and scripts in the eSCM. He got it all setup, but when we tried to use it was just too difficult so we stopped."

Disregarding the diva-like stupidity of insisting for a completely different source control system over an already established one (SVN), the Van Halen guy actually tried to do the right think (version and store all SQL and script artifacts.)

There are so many WTFs that are not exclusive of the Van Halen guys.

1. Letting the guy act like a prima donna (typical business error.)
2. Not being able to work with their SQL/script artifacts off a versioning system.
3. Deciding to use zip files stored on someone's local box as an alternative.
4. Not thinking of using what they had before (SVN) to do just that.
5. Justin and Bryan not realizing the guy was gone until months passed
- Couldn't they have asked anyone that worked with him?
- Didn't they cc anyone when e-mailing Van Halen?
- Who the heck leaves voice mails or knocks on doors but does not use e-mail for business communications?
- How could his voice mail still work if he's gone?
- Don't they have like, status meetings?
- Why did they leave brown M&Ms backstage... err, not that.


The guy was a prima donna fruit cake, but we gotta admit that at least he had the right idea wrt to the SQL/script artifacts... not that it excuses his other errors (or the errors of everyone else involved in this brown M&M debacle.)