Comment On Just a Warm-Up

Brian worked for the American government. Specifically, he worked for a small branch on a very small project with a budget so small that it was governed by the laws of quantum mechanics. To cut costs, the pointy-haired, grey-suited bureaucrats that ran the office found all sorts of inventive ways to save money, most of which were just minor nuisances that could generally be ignored. [expand full text]
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Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 10:40 • by fabs0 (unregistered)
thats just awesome!

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 10:42 • by Dave (unregistered)
You know you'll get more heat from a CPU if your code actually does some FP math and such rather than just a while loop. Actually it would be simpler to just grab Prime95 and run it in torture test mode...

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 10:49 • by Axe (unregistered)
That actually made me Laugh Out Loud.....

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 10:54 • by XXXXX (unregistered)
In the future, mankind will develop ways to spin and weave wool from sheep into torso-shaped wrappings. These wrappings (I'll call them sweaters) will insulate jackasses. Others will build on this innovation with hand-shaped wrappings (call them gloves). At such a time, jackasses who whine about the thermostat can regulate their own bodies' temperatures.

Until then, this seems like a reasonable substitute.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 10:55 • by badman (unregistered)
Personally, and from personal experience, I would have just modified the thermostat to read whatever the boss wanted to see. However it would be set to "comfortable" and not changeable from the outside controls.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 10:55 • by PiisAWheeL
384701 in reply to 384699
XXXXX:
In the future, mankind will develop ways to spin and weave wool from sheep into torso-shaped wrappings. These wrappings (I'll call them sweaters) will insulate jackasses. Others will build on this innovation with hand-shaped wrappings (call them gloves). At such a time, jackasses who whine about the thermostat can regulate their own bodies' temperatures.

Until then, this seems like a reasonable substitute.
You ever try to use gloves with a keyboard? (Gloves that are worth a shit anyways?)

I have a bent piece of medal designed specifally for the box in our office.

The stupid thing is, the manager would turn the air way down or the heat way up depending on the season, and then stand outside with the door open to smoke a cigarette. First electric bill and the owner put that box on there. I just need a couple of degrees so my adjustments go unnoticed.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:00 • by pantsman (unregistered)
TRWTF is wasting all those CPU cycles on an empty loop instead of taking part in a distributed computing project like folding@home. Incidentally, making the CPU do real work instead of an empty while loop would produce significantly more heat.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:01 • by trtrwtf (unregistered)
Couldn't they just burn requirements documents to keep warm?

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:03 • by Someone (unregistered)
My Suggestion: Use multiple threads, so that every core of a multi-core CPU is used. At best start as many threads as you have cpu cores.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:03 • by pitchingchris
384705 in reply to 384703
trtrwtf:
Couldn't they just burn requirements documents to keep warm?


Smoke inhalation ?

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:04 • by Anketam
I was so glad that my phone was on mute (dialed into a meeting) when I read this, because I nearly killed over laughing at this.

As for the comment about wearing heavier clothes... Gloves + Keyboard does not work. Put on some well insulated gloves and try to post a response on this thread.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:05 • by Nagesh
Funny article. Remy should work some place to write funny comedy stories.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:08 • by wraith
Too bad there isn't a program for the oposite. These days it's kinda hard sympathizing for somebody for being cold

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:10 • by Chelloveck (unregistered)
384710 in reply to 384706
Anketam:
As for the comment about wearing heavier clothes... Gloves + Keyboard does not work. Put on some well insulated gloves and try to post a response on this thread.


That would explain a good many of the usual comments.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:10 • by Pero Perić (unregistered)
55 °F is ~13 °C

Not really cold...

captcha: nulla - uncaught NullReferenceException
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Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:11 • by Mijzelf (unregistered)
384712 in reply to 384709
wraith:
Too bad there isn't a program for the oposite. These days it's kinda hard sympathizing for somebody for being cold

while( false ){}

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:12 • by sprezzatura
I don't see how this would increase the temperature. Isn't the OS is in a perpetual loop anyway waiting for interrupts? Just because it doesn't show up in the Task Manager Performance graph (or whatever OS you use), doesn't mean it isn't looping.

Another solution would be to wire up the heat to another (hidden) thermostat, and let the 'main' one become a decoy.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:13 • by Matt (unregistered)
I had a similar problem - my solution was to create a lapwarmer by recompiling GCC on my Dell Inspiron.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:14 • by RandomUser423717 (unregistered)
384715 in reply to 384702
pantsman:
TRWTF is wasting all those CPU cycles on an empty loop instead of taking part in a distributed computing project like folding@home. Incidentally, making the CPU do real work instead of an empty while loop would produce significantly more heat.
Remember the article said this was in a government office. Running anything that did anything even vaguely like complex calculation could be an... issue.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:18 • by PZ (unregistered)
384716 in reply to 384712
Mijzelf:
wraith:
Too bad there isn't a program for the oposite. These days it's kinda hard sympathizing for somebody for being cold

while( false ){}


+1

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:20 • by Andrew (unregistered)
384717 in reply to 384702
pantsman:
TRWTF is wasting all those CPU cycles on an empty loop instead of taking part in a distributed computing project like folding@home. Incidentally, making the CPU do real work instead of an empty while loop would produce significantly more heat.
This. And also use one of the newer GPU clients if you can. You know you've gone over the cliff when, in the winter, you start folding/turn on 3DMark instead of the furnace.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:21 • by Hello (unregistered)
Brain for the win!! :)

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:21 • by Chip (unregistered)
A far simpler solution would have been to tape icepacks to the thermostats.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:24 • by trtrwtf (unregistered)
384720 in reply to 384719
Chip:
A far simpler solution would have been to tape icepacks to the thermostats.


Yeah, but where are you going to find ice in Alaska?

Better to kill a grizzly bear and crawl into its still-warm carcass.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:26 • by David Emery (unregistered)
Good thing you weren't using a highly optimizing compiler that optimized that loop away :-)

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:26 • by Severity One
We're in somewhat the opposite situation: in winter, the office is kept comfortably warm by all the electronics. In summer, though, we need the airco big time.

A quick glance at the Windows weather gadget shows that it's 37 C (98.6 F) outside, and tomorrow it will go up to 38 C (100.4 F). That's body temperature today, and just a bit more tomorrow.

Cost is a concern, and the airco eats a lot of electricity, but if it were to be turned up a bit, in order to save money, there would be complaints, and possibly riots.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:28 • by pinko (unregistered)
In my country the law says that if the workplace for light / office work is cooler than 18C (~64F), the employees are allowed to stop working (and it's still paid time) ater notifying their superior. Notifying the appropriate government agency is also recommended.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:36 • by Glenn Lasher (unregistered)
You should be sure to run one instance per core, by the way, to maximize the output.

BTW, I personally like the Common LISP implementation of this, because it is so compact:

(loop)


There's probably an assembly language version that is even more compact, but I'll leave that to someone else to develop.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:38 • by David (unregistered)
Shouldn't this have been written in ADA?

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:41 • by CRT Styled Heat (unregistered)
Ohhh ohh I know another way. Request a bunch of OLD CRT style monitors. You know, because they're older and obviously cheaper and literal OVENS when used in a concert.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:43 • by snoofle
384727 in reply to 384724
Glenn Lasher:
You should be sure to run one instance per core, by the way, to maximize the output.

BTW, I personally like the Common LISP implementation of this, because it is so compact:

(loop)


There's probably an assembly language version that is even more compact, but I'll leave that to someone else to develop.
JMP $

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:44 • by SomeAssemblyRequired (unregistered)
384728 in reply to 384724
Glenn Lasher:
BTW, I personally like the Common LISP implementation of this, because it is so compact:

(loop)

There's probably an assembly language version that is even more compact, but I'll leave that to someone else to develop.

a:jmp a

That's about as short as I can get it.

And yes, I turn off my Prime95 calculations when it gets too hot in here. In winter, makes a fine heater.

SAR

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:48 • by Paolo (unregistered)
And what exactly is wrong with a personal heater? Conceal one in a desktop case.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:54 • by Rootbeer

As an American taxpayer, I'd like to say "Thanks, asshole, for finding a way to use a $1000 computer as a $20 space heater instead of just buying a fucking $20 space heater."

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:55 • by Nagesh
384731 in reply to 384723
pinko:
In my country the law says that if the workplace for light / office work is cooler than 18C (~64F), the employees are allowed to stop working (and it's still paid time) ater notifying their superior. Notifying the appropriate government agency is also recommended.


Look like trolling, but I will respond.

In my country, they don't care how hot or cold it gets.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:55 • by Nagesh
384732 in reply to 384730
Rootbeer:

As an American taxpayer, I'd like to say "Thanks, asshole, for finding a way to use a $1000 computer as a $20 space heater instead of just buying a fucking $20 space heater."



Who is selling this mad in China stuff?

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:58 • by Robert Hanson (unregistered)
I was really hoping to see code that connected to the building management system and adjusted the thermostat from the guy's workstation. Bonus points for a "boss key" that reset the visual display of the thermostat to 55

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 11:59 • by tegh (unregistered)
384734 in reply to 384713
[quote user="sprezzatura"]I don't see how this would increase the temperature. Isn't the OS is in a perpetual loop anyway waiting for interrupts? Just because it doesn't show up in the Task Manager Performance graph (or whatever OS you use), doesn't mean it isn't looping.

Hey kiddo, you're slacking. Don't you have a large Java project to be working on?

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 12:05 • by English Man
384735 in reply to 384706
Anketam:
I was so glad that my phone was on mute (dialed into a meeting) when I read this, because I nearly killed over laughing at this.

As for the comment about wearing heavier clothes... Gloves + Keyboard does not work. Put on some well insulated gloves and try to post a response on this thread.
Fingerless gloves provide SOME protection, 55 isn't that cold.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 12:07 • by C-Derb (unregistered)
384736 in reply to 384730
Rootbeer:

As an American taxpayer, I'd like to say "Thanks, asshole, for finding a way to use a $1000 computer as a $20 space heater instead of just buying a fucking $20 space heater."

Welcome to the world of government employment. Having worked in said environment, I can say with 99% certainty that space heaters were likely prohibited for "safety" reasons as well as the aforementioned utility bill reasons.

Shout out to Despair.com, whose demotivational "Government" poster says it all:

Government: If you think the problems we create are bad, wait until you see our solutions.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 12:10 • by cellocgw
384737 in reply to 384709
wraith:
Too bad there isn't a program for the oposite. These days it's kinda hard sympathizing for somebody for being cold


Easy: just run the program in ReverseMode.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 12:11 • by PiisAWheeL
384738 in reply to 384713
sprezzatura:
I don't see how this would increase the temperature. Isn't the OS is in a perpetual loop anyway waiting for interrupts? Just because it doesn't show up in the Task Manager Performance graph (or whatever OS you use), doesn't mean it isn't looping.

Another solution would be to wire up the heat to another (hidden) thermostat, and let the 'main' one become a decoy.
nops just don't generate much heat.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 12:13 • by D-Coder
384739 in reply to 384730
Rootbeer:

As an American taxpayer, I'd like to say "Thanks, asshole, for finding a way to use a $1000 computer as a $20 space heater instead of just buying a fucking $20 space heater."

Why? They already have the $1000 computer, it's not an extra expense. The electricity will cost the same either way (to a first approximation).

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 12:16 • by Bill (unregistered)
This reminds of a job a few years ago and for some reason I started getting hot flashes. First I was only 35 and second, I'm a guy, so it wasn't hormonal.

I finally realized it was my cube mate on the other side of the partition rendering video on his quad core mac pro with super mega video card (the kind with it's own high powered cooling fans). Every time he would render video I would get blasted with heat from his computer from under the desk.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 12:19 • by Bill (unregistered)
384741 in reply to 384730
Rootbeer:

As an American taxpayer, I'd like to say "Thanks, asshole, for finding a way to use a $1000 computer as a $20 space heater instead of just buying a fucking $20 space heater."



Seriously this is how beuracracy works. Some asshole who doesn't have to deal with the consequences makes some 'decision' that affects numerous people adversely all to save a few pennies. In the end the troops on the ground come up with their own solutions sometimes better sometimes not.

Besides I am 100% sure space heaters were not allowed in the office either.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 12:20 • by spiffytech (unregistered)
Very nice! We took a similar approach in our office last Winter with some old servers that were just sitting around. Very effective!

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 12:21 • by Calli Arcale (unregistered)
384743 in reply to 384735
English Man:
Anketam:
I was so glad that my phone was on mute (dialed into a meeting) when I read this, because I nearly killed over laughing at this.

As for the comment about wearing heavier clothes... Gloves + Keyboard does not work. Put on some well insulated gloves and try to post a response on this thread.
Fingerless gloves provide SOME protection, 55 isn't that cold.


I have Renaud's, so my fingers will go numb with very little provocation. (65 F is enough to make 'em blanch. Seriously.) I have USB heated fingerless gloves and they have made a big difference.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 12:32 • by pel (unregistered)
384744 in reply to 384713
sprezzatura:
I don't see how this would increase the temperature. Isn't the OS is in a perpetual loop anyway waiting for interrupts?

Absolutely not (and if it is, it's a crappy OS). If the cpu isn't doing anything, it goes into a low-power halt state until an interrupt wakes it up. Busy waiting is pretty much the complete opposite of using interrupts.

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 12:34 • by myName (unregistered)
Isn't it great to live in a country where workers don't have rights. USA! USA! USA!

Re: Just a Warm-Up

2012-07-10 12:34 • by PiisAWheeL
384746 in reply to 384730
Rootbeer:

As an American taxpayer, I'd like to say "Thanks, asshole, for finding a way to use a $1000 computer as a $20 space heater instead of just buying a fucking $20 space heater."

Actually, I'd like to thank this individual for saving the tax payer $20.00 by creating a dual use for the $1000 computer, and thereby removing the need to buy a $20 space heater. If the computer is being used for government purposes, it will generate the heat, if its idle, it will generate the heat. So yes, thank you for saving the taxpayers money.

Now if we can just figure out a way to cut down on the electric usage, then we might have the most efficient division of government yet.
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