Comment On Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

Lyle was displeased. Despite all he had going for him — being the most handsome guy in the office, the smartest guy on the team, having the best all-terrain tires throughout the whole department, and trouncing the competition in a recent laser tag game, his team didn't seem to work well together. [expand full text]
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Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 12:37 • by h (unregistered)
202432 in reply to 202379
Proof:
One method of recognition is the FISH! card, given by employees to each other when they have demonstrated one of the FISH! concepts. Employees who have earned three FISH! cards are presented with "Pete the Perch" a small stuffed toy fish of varying colors.[citation needed]

Many companies present these tokens at staff meetings, flinging them, as the employees at Pike Place fling real fish

From Wikipedia.

Say WHAT!?

Seriously. I thought this was straight out of The Office (some unknown hidden scene or something), but even comedians couldn't make up something this wicked... Hell, the script of the movie just writes itself.

The best part is the interview on youtube of the guy (link in wikipedia article) from the Fish market place who says they don't agree with the Fish Factorial videos... I mean, WTF!??

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 12:42 • by j0k3r
I don't really get it. Clueless middle management that sucks at reading his/her employees? How is this a WTF? That's an everyday occurrence.

Philosophical psychobabble in 3...2...1:
When does an event/attitude such as this stop being a WTF and begin to be an accepted norm...a postulate if you will.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 12:53 • by joeybladb (unregistered)
Oh good lord:
When Wikipedia says "some employees find these techniques ridiculous and demeaning," I think it's specifically referring to Lyle's warped interpretation.


You mean this FISH! stuff isn't made up? You can't make this shit up! (I mean, you can't make up the fact that this FISH! stuff isn't made up)

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 12:57 • by BryanM (unregistered)
Lyle == Michael Scott?

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 13:00 • by SomeCoder (unregistered)
202437 in reply to 202434
j0k3r:
I don't really get it. Clueless middle management that sucks at reading his/her employees? How is this a WTF? That's an everyday occurrence.

Philosophical psychobabble in 3...2...1:
When does an event/attitude such as this stop being a WTF and begin to be an accepted norm...a postulate if you will.


Isn't that TRWTF? Why do we have to accept crap like this as an "accepted norm" ?

Not flaming you, just wondering why "business as usual" - even when a complete WTF - is just normal and accepted.

The best way - in my very humble opinion - to increase worker happiness and office productivity is to have a relatively low stress environment. And specifically, I mean having managers actively working toward that.

When every request to take time off is met by an interrogation, that's high stress. If your boss is so anal that you can't joke around with him (appropriately), that's high stress.

Even if the job itself is inherently high stress, management can do little things to lower it (free soda, being approachable and easy going, etc. are far better ways to lower the stress than FISH!)

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 13:06 • by dsmouse (unregistered)
The shootings will continue until moral improves.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 13:19 • by Patrick (unregistered)
202442 in reply to 202371
Increase Productivity Through Demeaning Rewards

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 13:21 • by ContraCorners (unregistered)
202443 in reply to 202418
Andy Goth:
I was going to make fun on you for saying "3-part trilogy", but then I remembered the 5-part Hitchhiker's Guide trilogy. Thank you for that. :^)


So Long, Lyle, and Thanks for all the Fish!

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 13:23 • by Dude (unregistered)
202444 in reply to 202409
valerion:
Ok, who edited the Wikipedia article to reference this article already?


What idiot referenced this site? I'm gonna go and change it back. I hate when people screw with wikipedia sites. You are a bunch of stupid jerks!

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 13:27 • by FredSaw
202445 in reply to 202438
dsmouse:
The shootings will continue until moral improves.
...and the morale of this story is... down!

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 13:28 • by Wikipedia Editor (unregistered)
202446 in reply to 202444
Dude:
valerion:
Ok, who edited the Wikipedia article to reference this article already?


What idiot referenced this site? I'm gonna go and change it back. I hate when people screw with wikipedia sites. You are a bunch of stupid jerks!


What idiot removed my Wikipedia reference to this site? I'm gonna go and change it back. I hate when people screw with Wikipedia sites. You are a bunch of stupid jerks!

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 13:31 • by Franz Kafka (unregistered)
202447 in reply to 202423
Yazeran:
Query Object:

Nerf -> rubber band -> slingshot -> disc guns -> bb guns -> real guns...




Your forgot the rest of the list:
-> Assault rifles -> Artillery -> JDAM's -> ICBM's -> Asteroids (or anything else at sufficient speed for that matter :-)...

Yazeran

Plan: To go to Mars one day with a hammer


Really, suborbital crowbars are all you should need for office engagements...

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 13:55 • by shMerker (unregistered)
202455 in reply to 202434
I thought grown men behaving like children and not being held responsible for their behavior was always a WTF.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 13:57 • by res (unregistered)
maybe this one... long shot

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 13:57 • by Bowie (unregistered)

Anything can be sold to everyone, at any time, by anyone.



Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 14:00 • by spejic (unregistered)
202459 in reply to 202425
> In other words, when office fun is spontaneous and
> self-implementing it's good. When it's enforced as a
> management technique...not so much.

Ah yes, the Catch-22 of philosophical self-consciousness. Once someone tells you how to do it, you can no longer do it. Just as Nietzsche describes how to be the superman in his books, but if you are the kind of person who reads books on philosophy for a guide to life, you will never be the superman.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 14:28 • by Steve (unregistered)
I smell harrassment suit coming on.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 14:45 • by Wyle_E (unregistered)
While a Nerf missile is not a "dangerous weapon", so Lyle can't be charged with aggravated battery, he's still guilty of simple battery. His victims should call the fuckin' cops. If they aren't willing to bother the police, perhaps they should point out to senior management that productivity increased while Lyle was out of the office, so the company would be better off without him.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 15:05 • by FredSaw
202468 in reply to 202459
spejic:
...but if you are the kind of person who reads books on philosophy for a guide to life, you will never be the superman.
I just read Nietzsche for light entertainment every now and then.

No, wait, that's Siegel I'm thinking of. Sorry, the matching vowels got me confused.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 15:08 • by John (unregistered)
What? Open and unabashed mockery wasn't the intended result of corporate "team building" exercises?

Fish..... even sounds retarded.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 15:08 • by syntaxeater
We had done the FISH philosophy thing at my first job (They came in and gave the seminar to everyone, not just our managers). At the end of the seminar, we all received plush fish to keep on our desks and toss around to one another. Instead of it being a team building activity, my boss used it as a replacement for his phone. You'd have your headphones on, coding away on your project when a fish would come screaming by your head. He wasn't very accurate and ended up knocking over everything on your desk. No matter how hard you slammed your headphones down and intently glared at him; he would still have this dumb look on his face as if he was living out his high school football days.

I can deffinitely sympathize with the OP.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 15:39 • by m0ffx (unregistered)
Since guns were involved, it stands to reason that it's "Fish-BANG".

As for how to deal with Lyle...smuggle a CPS 2000 in. The most powerful water gun sold. Next time Lyle shoots you, pull out the CPS and BLAST!

Be accurate though. The gun launches a litre (2 US pints) of water in just over a second.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 15:55 • by Dude (unregistered)
202482 in reply to 202446
Wikipedia Editor:
Dude:
valerion:
Ok, who edited the Wikipedia article to reference this article already?


What idiot referenced this site? I'm gonna go and change it back. I hate when people screw with wikipedia sites. You are a bunch of stupid jerks!


What idiot removed my Wikipedia reference to this site? I'm gonna go and change it back. I hate when people screw with Wikipedia sites. You are a bunch of stupid jerks!


Seriously, if you want to get into an edit war, keep acting like a fool. I'll go and mess up all the wiki pages you've ever edited!

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 15:58 • by jayh (unregistered)
I think many of these 'team building' ideas are a variant on the cargo cult. During WWII inhabitants of some Pacific islands were fascinated by the Allied soldiers, with their Jeeps, airplanes, and money. After the war and the soldiers departed, they built replica airports, planes etc. to re-attract visitors and business.

Seminar 'psychologists' see workplaces that are (for a variety of subtle reasons) very productive, and they pick on some stupid trivial characteristic and try to replicate that, thinking that will somehow transform the workplace. Duh, doesn't work because they simply did not understand what was going on. (School uniforms are another area where this mindless fix has failed miserably)

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 16:09 • by CynicalTyler (unregistered)
202487 in reply to 202360
Wickerman:
The real WTF is that so far both of Lyle's team building plans have involved him shooting his staff.
Wanna make an omelet, you gotta crack a few eggs.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 16:15 • by Mray (unregistered)
We used to have nerf fights in the office. Two things changed that.. First, Nerf released the Storm -- a 32 barrel fully automatic weapon that literally buried the target in nerf softair projectiles.. and second, that the Storm sounded like a 'Ma two' 50 cal machine gun.

After a couple of localized firefights, managers of nearby teams began to complain that we were making too much noise.

Years later, all the teams and combatants are gone (new teams, different jobs).. but I still keep my clip-fed semi-automatic in the top drawer just in case.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 16:27 • by Moekandu (unregistered)
202495 in reply to 202423
You know, I'm thinking that eventually, it's all going to culminate in James and Lyle dropping trou and kicking off a full-frontal dickwaving contest.

Though, I'd rather not have any confirmation of such an event, were it to actually occur.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 16:49 • by Max (unregistered)
the real WTF is that there is this a large amount of people claiming that "this is in fact the real wtf".

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 17:06 • by Pope
202502 in reply to 202360
Wickerman:
The real WTF is that so far both of Lyle's team building plans have involved him shooting his staff.


But he's so good at it!

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 17:36 • by j0k3r
202506 in reply to 202482
Dude:
Wikipedia Editor:
Dude:
valerion:
Ok, who edited the Wikipedia article to reference this article already?


What idiot referenced this site? I'm gonna go and change it back. I hate when people screw with wikipedia sites. You are a bunch of stupid jerks!


What idiot removed my Wikipedia reference to this site? I'm gonna go and change it back. I hate when people screw with Wikipedia sites. You are a bunch of stupid jerks!


Seriously, if you want to get into an edit war, keep acting like a fool. I'll go and mess up all the wiki pages you've ever edited!

Seriously, if you want to get into an edit war, you must be the biggest douche on the planet. No mature self-respecting adult would get into such childish banter...so yeah.

Where's the wiki article about douche? Someone needs to add a picture of Dude.

Who is this Lyle????

2008-06-25 17:53 • by FISH Guy (unregistered)
Is this actually a real story? I'm quite confused here...

I'm hoping that wasn't a real story. And that Lyle isn't a real person.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 19:29 • by Eternal Density
202520 in reply to 202459
spejic:
Ah yes, the Catch-22 of philosophical self-consciousness. Once someone tells you how to do it, you can no longer do it.
is that the rationale for sex ed?

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 19:31 • by Indima (unregistered)
I think that James W should make up better stories, stuff that will make me laugh and cry. These storylines from old 'The Office' episodes just don't make it for me. :-(

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 20:06 • by Vermis (unregistered)
202524 in reply to 202362
Query Object:
Wickerman:
The real WTF is that so far both of Lyle's team building plans have involved him shooting his staff.


Imminent escalation...
Nerf guns are gateway weapons.

Nerf -> rubber band -> slingshot -> disc guns -> bb guns -> real guns...


Heh, Works for me! http://www.engadget.com/2008/01/16/meet-the-disintegrator-24-barrels-of-rubber-band-minigun-madnes/

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 20:26 • by lawl (unregistered)
I'm liking this... maybe it'll become a series. I hope James can enjoy the battle for sanity as much as Lyle enjoys the battle for supremely ultimate management awesomeness... what a goob.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 20:49 • by chrismcb
202534 in reply to 202446
Wikipedia Editor:
Dude:
valerion:
Ok, who edited the Wikipedia article to reference this article already?


What idiot referenced this site? I'm gonna go and change it back. I hate when people screw with wikipedia sites. You are a bunch of stupid jerks!


What idiot removed my Wikipedia reference to this site? I'm gonna go and change it back. I hate when people screw with Wikipedia sites. You are a bunch of stupid jerks!


I love how the page hasn't been touched in months. But today there are 13 edits!
Granted the reference to thedailywtf.com didn't belong.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 21:06 • by Ben (unregistered)
At a place I used to work a few years ago one of the marketing guys happened to have a 4' long plush catfish that he had bought for his kid but decided to bring into work for some reason. Now, as I am sure many of you know, the only obvious use for such a toy is to see how people react to a giant, soft, stuffed fish flying into their cubicle with no warning.

Not quite the edible goodness that is Pike's Place, but needless to say we made quite a few good memories with that fish.

That's not what Wikipedia says...

2008-06-25 21:15 • by Lyle (unregistered)

Lyle embraced all of the tenets of the FISH! philosophy that he could distill to "shoot employees with Nerf gun." When Wikipedia says "some employees find these techniques ridiculous and demeaning," I think it's specifically referring to Lyle's warped interpretation.


Actually, Wikipedia says that it's the best idea ever, ESPECIALLY when Lyle is doing it. That's because Lyle is a better Wikipedia editor than you'll ever be!

Who is awesome? Lyle is!

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 21:17 • by Balony (unregistered)
Ack. Lyle can bash Lyle better than you.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 22:49 • by y0dizzle in australia (unregistered)
202550 in reply to 202360
A symptom of Americas gun culture?

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 23:45 • by Algien Mas (unregistered)
202555 in reply to 202506
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Douche
I find uncyclopedia much more reliable than wikipedia

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-25 23:55 • by Dan (unregistered)
My sons go to a primary school that uses the Fish philosphy. I'm not sure what that implies about the school or about Lyle, but they aren't allowed to shoot each other!

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-26 00:45 • by Pacifist (unregistered)
People that believe in violence should be shot.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-26 03:35 • by equex (unregistered)
And this story is interesting because .... ?

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-26 05:26 • by anoncow (unregistered)
The real WTF is that this was on TDWTF just a few months ago.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-26 07:27 • by Johny Mark (unregistered)
202578 in reply to 202459
spejic:
> In other words, when office fun is spontaneous and
> self-implementing it's good. When it's enforced as a
> management technique...not so much.

Ah yes, the Catch-22 of philosophical self-consciousness. Once someone tells you how to do it, you can no longer do it. Just as Nietzsche describes how to be the superman in his books, but if you are the kind of person who reads books on philosophy for a guide to life, you will never be the superman.


Damn, and I was trying to use my X-Ray vision all day long! Nietzsche, YOU LIAR!

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-26 07:33 • by Tei (unregistered)
202579 in reply to 202578
Johny Mark:
spejic:
> In other words, when office fun is spontaneous and
> self-implementing it's good. When it's enforced as a
> management technique...not so much.

Ah yes, the Catch-22 of philosophical self-consciousness. Once someone tells you how to do it, you can no longer do it. Just as Nietzsche describes how to be the superman in his books, but if you are the kind of person who reads books on philosophy for a guide to life, you will never be the superman.


Damn, and I was trying to use my X-Ray vision all day long! Nietzsche, YOU LIAR!


You could become the ubermench playing computer PVP games.
PVP hard core versus PVE carebeanism == Kant moral versus cristian moral

With carebeanism, you make other people become weak and suffer, and that what Kant really hate. A computer game with a PVP enviroment make you strong, and make you be happy against the odds. So make you a better, but maybe not good in the cristian way.

Almost the 60% avoid PVP enviroments, and feel that PVP enviroments are wrong, because theres not protection for the weak in the form of the strong being punished for his strongnest, punished by itself, or by the system.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-26 08:04 • by Johny Mark (unregistered)
202582 in reply to 202579
Tei:
Johny Mark:
spejic:
> In other words, when office fun is spontaneous and
> self-implementing it's good. When it's enforced as a
> management technique...not so much.

Ah yes, the Catch-22 of philosophical self-consciousness. Once someone tells you how to do it, you can no longer do it. Just as Nietzsche describes how to be the superman in his books, but if you are the kind of person who reads books on philosophy for a guide to life, you will never be the superman.


Damn, and I was trying to use my X-Ray vision all day long! Nietzsche, YOU LIAR!


You could become the ubermench playing computer PVP games.
PVP hard core versus PVE carebeanism == Kant moral versus cristian moral

With carebeanism, you make other people become weak and suffer, and that what Kant really hate. A computer game with a PVP enviroment make you strong, and make you be happy against the odds. So make you a better, but maybe not good in the cristian way.

Almost the 60% avoid PVP enviroments, and feel that PVP enviroments are wrong, because theres not protection for the weak in the form of the strong being punished for his strongnest, punished by itself, or by the system.


Nah, 60% avoid PVP environments because they prefer to stick to non-PVP areas before they are strong enough not to get killed several times in a row. Are lions hunting right after they are born? Not really. They need protection until they get strong enough to protect themselves.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-26 08:41 • by KenW
202586 in reply to 202506
j0k3r:

Seriously, if you want to get into an edit war, you must be the biggest douche on the planet. No mature self-respecting adult would get into such childish banter...so yeah.

Where's the wiki article about douche? Someone needs to add a picture of Dude.


Please don't feed the trolls. If you ignore them, they eventually go away.

Dude apparently figured out that there were other places here to troll than the forums (where he's been trolling for a week or so). Hopefully, if we pay no attention to him, he'll wander off back to his usual place at lolcats or whatever.

Re: Lyle Can Do Anything Better Than You

2008-06-26 08:45 • by KenW
202589 in reply to 202573
anoncow:
The real WTF is that this was on TDWTF just a few months ago.


The real WTF is that some moron who posts under the name anoncow can't figure out that it wasn't; another post about Lyle was. In fact, this article contains a link to it, dumbass.
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