Comment On Mainframe Humor and FirstName.length()ism

I used to see all sorts of doco WTFs on MVS's TSO facility
screens.  IBM Redbooks can sometimes be fun reads... all the
freaky terms IBMers use to describe some of the most mundane and simple
concepts.

heh, at least windows-console doesn't have one-liners like the unix
command fsck.  I mean seriously, what were they thinking?



*sigh* I can also remember in the 7th grade when we would take math
textbooks and look for sexual innuendo.  The geometry section was
especially humorous.

The 5 letter rule would work IF you assume every short name is shorthand for a fell name... ex:

Joe = Joseph

Eve = Evelynn

Tim=Timothy

 

Of course this is just absurd, and totally ignores the fact that in some countries that their first name can be 2 or 3 letters!

This is a fine example of ignorant American coding at it's best!

Take a look at the validation code:

  if (theForm.firstname.value == "")
  {
    alert("Please enter a value for the \"First Name\" field.");
    theForm.firstname.focus();
    return (false);
  }

  if (theForm.firstname.value.length < 5)
  {
    alert("Please enter at least 5 characters in the \"First Name\" field.");
    theForm.firstname.focus();
    return (false);
  }

  if (theForm.firstname.value.length > 40)
  {
    alert("Please enter at most 40 characters in the \"First Name\" field.");
    theForm.firstname.focus();
    return (false);
  }

Hopefully, you don't happen to have a really long name either, although
40 characters for a first name sounds reasonable.  But what gets
me, is that they check for no entry AND a small entry.  It isn't
like they didn't know how to check for a non-entry, they intentionally
won't let you enter a short name.  None of the other fields have
this check either, including the phone number.  It will allow you
to enter 0, or 911 as your number, no problem.  Nice!

Even a good 'American' name like Adam is too short, and I can't think of a long version of that.

travisowens:

The 5 letter rule would work IF you assume every short name is shorthand for a fell name...

You mean like "Mark", or "Sven", or "Karl"?

PS: I think you mean a full name, and not a fell name.  "Hi, my name is Beelzebub, what's yours?  :)

My name is Luc and I have a problem ;-)

Ok... the 5 letter rule wouldn't work for:



Max  (not always 'Maximillian')

Amy (uhm... ?)

Jack

Hank

Paul



you get my drift

travisowens:

The 5 letter rule would work IF you assume every short name is shorthand for a fell name... ex:

Joe = Joseph

Eve = Evelynn

Tim=Timothy

 

Of course this is just absurd, and totally ignores the fact that in some countries that their first name can be 2 or 3 letters!

This is a fine example of ignorant American coding at it's best!

Wrong.

Alan, Paul, John, Mark, Slim, Jack, etc.

Grimoire:

But what gets
me, is that they check for no entry AND a small entry.

They do this so they can show a different error message depending on
whether you forgot the field or tried to fill in just a first initial.



I think they check the length so you are forced to enter a name, not an
initial.  (It begs the question, though, of why not check for a
name 2 or more characters?)

Ultimately, I think we can all agree that not only is the fact that
people with short names, or those who use shortened versions of their
names are pretty much screwed by the name entry thing. 



As has been pointed out, the form validation code for that field is a
SEVERE wtf, seeing as it not only checks for the short name, as seen,
but it also checks for no name entry.  So.. this all leads to the
really fun part:  Figure out who was dumb enough to put a minimum
length on the first name field.   My bet is on some goober
that assumed since he had a long name, everyone else does too, or that
all short names are somehow derived from a longer name, when there's
plenty of them that are just short.

rogthefrog:

travisowens:

The 5 letter rule would work IF you assume every short name is shorthand for a fell name... ex:

Joe = Joseph

Eve = Evelynn

Tim=Timothy

 

Of course this is just absurd, and totally ignores the fact that in some countries that their first name can be 2 or 3 letters!

This is a fine example of ignorant American coding at it's best!

Wrong.

Alan, Paul, John, Mark, Slim, Jack, etc.

Ruth, Dirk, Hal, June, May.... Oh, and there's no American named Mary.

if (theForm.firstname.value == "")
  {
    alert("Please enter a value for the \"First Name\" field.");
    theForm.firstname.focus();
    return (false);
  }

Just too stupid. Just put 5 spaces ("     ") and it's ok. You can use the spaces at the end of your name if it's short.

Better (and elegant) validation code:

if (theForm.firstname.value.search(/\S+/) == -1)
  {
    alert("Please enter a value for the \"First Name\" field.");
    theForm.firstname.focus();
    return (false);
  }

Big WTF at all.

romeogresta:

if (theForm.firstname.value == "")
  {
    alert("Please enter a value for the \"First Name\" field.");
    theForm.firstname.focus();
    return (false);
  }

Just too stupid. Just put 5 spaces ("     ") and it's ok. You can use the spaces at the end of your name if it's short.

Better (and elegant) validation code:

if (theForm.firstname.value.search(/\S+/) == -1)
  {
    alert("Please enter a value for the \"First Name\" field.");
    theForm.firstname.focus();
    return (false);
  }

Big WTF at all.

You forgot

if (theForm.firstname.value == "alex")

{

  alert("What a pretty name!");

  return true;

}

Grimoire:

Hopefully, you don't happen to have a really long name either, although
40 characters for a first name sounds reasonable.  But what gets
me, is that they check for no entry AND a small entry.  It isn't
like they didn't know how to check for a non-entry, they intentionally
won't let you enter a short name.  None of the other fields have
this check either, including the phone number.  It will allow you
to enter 0, or 911 as your number, no problem.  Nice!

Also, in addition to the lack of a emergency number check for the phone
number field, it will allow you to enter in pretty much any type of
character, and up to 40 of them at that!

 if (theForm.PHONE_1.value == "")
  {
    alert("Please enter a value for the \"PHONE_1\" field.");
    theForm.PHONE_1.focus();
    return (false);
  }

  if (theForm.PHONE_1.value.length > 40)
  {
    alert("Please enter at most 40 characters in the \"PHONE_1\" field.");
    theForm.PHONE_1.focus();
    return (false);
  }

On top of that, it only does character validation for the first name.. so Alexander 1234567890 with a

Phone # of ABCDEF appears to be perfectly valid.

Also notice that valid characters for the first name include tab, new line, carraige return, and form feed.

Anonymous:

Also notice that valid characters for the first name include tab, new line, carraige return, and form feed.

Thats because some of us have names like "John\n\tAdam\n\tGietzen" (me)

Heh heh, he said dump.

Not to mention that fields not marked required are actually required, Job Title, and Company.

As a person with a short first name (Adam), I am greatly offended by the today's second WTF. ;)

What I wanna know is how in the fuck they came up with the number 5!  I mean, "John Smith," ubiquity's own name, has a first name with less than 5 characters for crying out loud!  Son of a bitch!

travisowens:

This is a fine example of ignorant American coding at it's best!

Nah, that would require things like requiring phone numbers, zip codes,
etc. to match the US format while apparently allowing international
contacts.





Another WTF in it is the error messages: what does a message like
"Please select one of the "D2" options." mean to a user? (The
"D2" options are not question 2 on the form...)

What's great is that you can send an empty form by filling it in with spaces.

How about we sell a product to enlarge someone's first name...

Alex = Alexander
Greg = Gregory
Alan = Allen
Paul = Paulus
Mark = Marek (Slovakian translation of Mark)
Slim = Salim
Jack = Jacko
Ruth = Ruthie
Dirk = Derek
Hal = Halle
June = Juniper
John = Johann
May = May Lee
Mary = Maria
Anne = Annie

Or maybe they can do like in Catholic countries...

Mary Jane, Mary Lou, Mary Beth, Mary Anne, Jean Paul, Jean Marc, Jean Luc...

Selling enlargement products should prove popular on the internet... [:P]

Charles Nadolski:

heh, at least windows-console doesn't have one-liners like the unix
command fsck.  I mean seriously, what were they thinking?

fsck is just an abbreviation of filesystem check.  I don't get what you're saying.

travisowens:

This is a fine example of ignorant American coding at it's best!

I would just say ignorant coding.  Remember, idiots can, and do,
exist elsewhere on this planet.  And I'll bet some of them have
been given a loaded compiler to inflict on us.

christoofar:

I used to see all sorts of doco WTFs on MVS's TSO facility
screens.  IBM Redbooks can sometimes be fun reads... all the
freaky terms IBMers use to describe some of the most mundane and simple
concepts.

I can attest to the unusual terms in IBM and Lotus redbooks, but the
strangest corporate lingo by far is EDS. My former boss used to work
for them, and he says they were required to call presentations
"presentos", documents "docos", etc. I guess they thought adding an o
at the end of a word would make it fun and cool to use...

tag:

Charles Nadolski:

heh, at least windows-console doesn't have one-liners like the unix command fsck.  I mean seriously, what were they thinking?

fsck is just an abbreviation of filesystem check.  I don't get what you're saying.

I have written a program that tests whether a file can be restored after having been deleted. It's called file undelete check. How should I abbreviate the command-line version?

Anonymous:

christoofar:

I used to see all sorts of doco WTFs on MVS's TSO facility screens.  IBM Redbooks can sometimes be fun reads... all the freaky terms IBMers use to describe some of the most mundane and simple concepts.

I can attest to the unusual terms in IBM and Lotus redbooks, but the strangest corporate lingo by far is EDS. My former boss used to work for them, and he says they were required to call presentations "presentos", documents "docos", etc. I guess they thought adding an o at the end of a word would make it fun and cool to use...

They're either psychos or sickos.

The 2nd WTF became so much worse when I went to Aivea and discovered
that they are a software development company.  They do web
services if you're interested after seeing that form. 



From the about Aivea page:



"Aivea Corporation is
a Portland, Oregon based software company offering E-Business
Software Solutions and Software Consulting Services to U.S.
clients and select international clients.  Aivea maintains offices
in Oregon, Australia and India. Services include software
development of E-Business Solutions,
Document and Content Management systems, Web Services,
E-Commerce, Business Intelligence solutions and Real-time
Embedded Systems for small to mid-sized companies."

memprime:

What's great is that you can send an empty form by filling it in with spaces.

Or even better, you can send whatever you want by turning javascript off - there's no server side validation.

Ok its late and I'm kinda drunk, but I don't get the first one :)

the coolest part about this WTF?

the screenshot is of "RUMBA".  I used to work at Wall Data on that application (before they were mis-managed, bought by NetManage, disassembled piece by piece, etc, etc)

note that the WTF isn't IN rumba though.. rumba is just a mainframe (and other) terminal emulator...  not that RUMBA didn't have its WTF's, though.

Anonymous:

memprime:

What's great is that you can send an empty form by filling it in with spaces.

Or even better, you can send whatever you want by turning javascript off - there's no server side validation.

Or consider this favelet (doesn't require disabling BLOCKED SCRIPT)
BLOCKED SCRIPT
var forms = document.getElementsByTagName("form"); for (var i = 0; i
< forms.length; i++) { forms[i].onsubmit = "return true;"; } void(0);

Heh... s/BLOCKED SCRIPT/j a v a s c r i p t/;

You know, @&^$% these required fields! Why the *$^!(% should I be *required* to given my $%^#! first name anyway? And if I want to enter my name as “&*^%^#”

or “!”

or “ ”

or “!#AeSrdtD[@j2F/i$Gy1H~u%Jri5tQ8oK^L&Wp*LV9XM)Cp0(+Bo_lN\-j+ZhQ`g{7\X|d}Ps4”]O’a:IzU;>x=Y?cTv/bR<3n,E”

or ALT-228,

then they should #+?&$~% let me! Who’s the %&$#{> is the customer here anyway? !&{#>% their database of contacts! If they don’t know how to address me as a result, then it’s my own &*$%# fault!

And you guys talking about fscking –watch your *#@/+ mouth!

--RA

And let's not even bring up the assumption that the first name is the
personal name, and the last name the surname. It is probably too much
to hope for that they did a better job in Japan, China, Israel, Saudi
Arabia, etc. than they did in their native land...

Potty humor never gets old, does it?

tag:

fsck is just an abbreviation of filesystem check.  I don't get what you're saying.

Are you a Turtle?

Two comments ...

One is that the validation routine doesn't even trim the input to remove padding - so it will allow "alex " as a valid input. Bad, bad code !!

Secondly, speaking of dumps, I remember back in my old VAX days how it was possible to abbreviate every command to four letters (e.g. delete could be dele, create could be crea and so on). Of course, this meant the analyze command was abbreviated to anal and I always felt a bit uncomfortable when someone would come by and look at my VT terminal as I was typing a bunch of anal commands ...

travisowens:

This is a fine example of ignorant American coding at it's best!

 

You can diss the coder, but don't assume the coder is American.  How do you know it wasn't outsourced to India?  "Bo" is an American name.

Are you a Turtle?

Yuo bet your sweet a... oh, nevermind, I'm not supposed to have beer these days anyway.

Is it, because I worked for seven years with such a thingie, or is it,
because you need a certain American background to understand it?



The descriptions of CD and CDA sound okay. Would someone please explain the WTF?

tag:

Charles Nadolski:

heh, at least windows-console doesn't have one-liners like the unix
command fsck.  I mean seriously, what were they thinking?

fsck is just an abbreviation of filesystem check.  I don't get what you're saying.

why the fsck not?

rogthefrog:

tag:

Charles Nadolski:

heh, at least windows-console doesn't have one-liners like the unix command fsck.  I mean seriously, what were they thinking?

fsck is just an abbreviation of filesystem check.  I don't get what you're saying.

I have written a program that tests whether a file can be restored after having been deleted. It's called file undelete check. How should I abbreviate the command-line version?

Sounds about right. Add to that a program called "Program to Help if you Ever Wipe something you didnt mean to".
# rm reallyimportantfile.txt
removed 'reallyimportantfile.txt'
# fuck
'reallyimportantfile.txt' can be recovered
# phew
'reallyimportantfile.txt' recovered.

diGriz:

Is it, because I worked for seven years with such a thingie, or is it,
because you need a certain American background to understand it?



The descriptions of CD and CDA sound okay. Would someone please explain the WTF?

The phrase "take a dump" is english slang meaning "to do a shit". 
It's not so much a WTF, as a "giggle at the poor choice of words" :-)

christoofar:

Ok... the 5 letter rule wouldn't work for:



...


Jack
...



you get my drift

Aha!  Gotcha!  "Jack" is sometimes short for "John", so all they have to do is use... ah... nevermind

I seem to remember hearing that the Acorn ARM had an assembler directive "SEX", which was cut out early on in its development.

rsynnott:

I seem to remember hearing that the Acorn ARM
had an assembler directive "SEX", which was cut out early on in its
development.

Why do they allways remove the good stuff? :(



Luckily a google-search showed me that not all designers has been
possessed by christians. (or even worse : marketing people)

The SEX mnemonic has been used to mean for example:



Sign EXtend

SEt X register



and there is a processor with ORL and ANL instructions (logical or/and) :).

(If i had one of those i'ld just stay up all night every night writing sexy code. Coderz pr0n at it's best!)



 

Looks like they've been shamed into
taking the validation code out.  Now, you can even send an empty
message and the code will let it pass.  Talk about throwing the
baby out with the nappy!



Other stupidities on this remarkably stupid site:

• The entire page uses tables for layout, in a design that would
  work perfectly well with CSS, and weigh in at about a third of the
  size.  Given the slashdotting they must be getting now from Daily
  WTF, I bet they're sorry they're stuck in 1994!


• The hard-coded list of countries is never a good idea.  An
  easy test: where's Myanmar?  Yes, I know it's trendy to still call
  it Burma, but the Myanmar government, corrupt and evil or not, is
  entitled to at least have an option.


• There are also a bunch of weird extra options.  Western
  Sahara?  Is that a country or a region?  Christmas Islands
  [sic] is actually part of Australia; I'm not sure what most of the
  people there would prefer, so maybe it's better to have it as an
  option, but it seems a little inconsistent.


• The available list of states covers (a) the USA and (b)
  Canada.  A bit disappointing if you're from Australia or South
  Africa, or any other country with states and/or provinces.  And
  no, "None" is not a synonym for "New South Wales", sorry.


• What's a Zip?  It's a fastening device or a file format.  If you mean "Postal
  Code", say so.  If you need to cater for people who've only ever
  heard the widespread american term, say "Postal Code/ZIP", and note the
  capitalisation as used by the USPS.


• Someone else mentioned that the relationship between the
  "Required Fields" markers and reality is tenuous at best.  I can't
  check that now, of course.


• And finally: "How did you hear about us?" needs an extra option:
  "Widely and fairly ridiculed on DailyWTF.com".  How could they
  miss that out?

Losers.

I had a classmate whose first name was U.   Just the letter U.  He wasn't American, not that that matters.