Comment On Nah'mean? and Other Interview Stories

Alex Papadimoulis:

 He was exposing all sorts of grotesque hair on his chest. And he had the pimp swagger down too.

What do you mean by "had the pimp swagger down"? Is it a thing or behaviour?

It could have been, say, Water, SuperX++, or any of a number of
XML-based (that is, tag-based) languages that actually exist out there.

If someone is coding with Water thats a good enough reason in its own right to kick them out the door. ConciseXML is one seriously fucked up bastard child. Any of the others of any practical use?

Hare Krishna still exists, you know.

Nah'mean? Yup-Yup!

Anonymous:

I am a mid-level manager who is about to screen some potential candidates. I agree with a lot of what CPound has said (although not all) and have come up with a series of questions to ask my future employees. I think this will help weed out the bad ones. Let me know what you think.

1. Are you a Communist? Do you support the Communist Party? You would be surprised how many bright red CCCP and "Che Lives" shirts I've seen showing through their dress shirts. I think this question would help to eliminate 50% of the baddies.
   
2. How likely are you to break down the door and spray the office with semi-automatic gunfire? If the candidate hesitates or considers the question, he will be eliminated. The proper response is an immediate "I would never do such a thing!" This will eliminate another 10%.
   
   
3. What sort of animal/tree would you be? If they answer a type of tree or plant they will be eliminated. If they answer some sort of animal, they will be eliminated. The correct answer is human. There are no other correct responses. This question eliminates another 10%.
   
4. Will you agree to cut your weird hairdo (aka "shag rug")? Most candidates typically wear the long hair pony-tail style. If they don't agree to cut it, they will be eliminated. This eliminates yet another 10%. (The same thing goes for body piercings...unless they're female, in which case their super sexy.)

This leaves a paltry 20% of candidates who still may or may not make the cut. But at least I've gotten rid of the basic riff-raff. Thoughts?

That sounds like a worthwhile set of criteria except for #1.

Maybe you should expand on why you wouldn't hire a communist. Do you think they are lazier than the general population, or perhaps less intelligent? Do you just disagree with them politically, and thus object to aiding their career advancement?

My political views are fairly close to communism, and I am a successful, productive software developer. I don't begrudge my employers as "capitalist fatcats" or think they are exploiting me. I am just a Communist because I would prefer for a much larger proportion of the current workforce to just draw a welfare check and stay home. Realistically, a very large percentage of people in the workforce are just clogging the highways during their commute and then just wasting bandwidth / electricity / desk space while they are "working." I am not ashamed to say that for many people, welfare is the least destructive option.

And I get a real kick out of the people who bitch and moan constantly about welfare. Chances are, those people really aren't contributing anything more to society than the people on welfare are (especially if they spend 30-45 minutes of company time bitching about welfare with their cronies). And these "workers" take up more space, more gas, more air, etc. than the welfare recipients do, which doesn't endear them to me.

Otherwise, I think you're being more than fair. Maybe I am biased but a male candidate with long hair (or even facial hair) at the interview would have to be superbly qualified otherwise for me to even give them the chance to clean up. Excess hair implies poor grooming, and if one cannot even groom one's self for the interview, what can I expect on a day-to-day basis? And what does that say about the candidate's desire to gain employment?

Anonymous:

Anonymous:

I am a mid-level
manager who is about to screen some potential candidates. I agree with
a lot of what CPound has said (although not all) and have come up with
a series of questions to ask my future employees. I think this will
help weed out the bad ones. Let me know what you think.

1. Are you a Communist? Do you support the Communist Party? You would
   be surprised how many bright red CCCP and "Che Lives" shirts I've seen
   showing through their dress shirts. I think this question would help to
   eliminate 50% of the baddies.
2. How likely are you to break down the door and spray the office with semi-automatic gunfire? If the candidate hesitates or considers the
   question, he will be eliminated. The proper response is an immediate "I
   would never do such a thing!" This will eliminate another 10%.
   
   
3. What sort of animal/tree would you be? If they answer a type
   of tree or plant they will be eliminated. If they answer some sort of
   animal, they will be eliminated. The correct answer is human. There are no other correct responses. This question eliminates another 10%.
   
4. Will you agree to cut your weird hairdo (aka "shag rug")? Most
   candidates typically wear the long hair pony-tail style. If they don't
   agree to cut it, they will be eliminated. This eliminates yet another
   10%. (The same thing goes for body piercings...unless they're female,
   in which case their super sexy.)

This leaves a paltry 20% of candidates who still may or may not make
the cut. But at least I've gotten rid of the basic riff-raff. Thoughts?

That sounds like a worthwhile set of criteria except for #1.

Maybe you should expand on why you wouldn't hire a communist. Do you
think they are lazier than the general population, or perhaps less
intelligent? Do you just disagree with them politically, and thus
object to aiding their career advancement?

My political views are fairly close to communism, and I am a
successful, productive software developer. I don't begrudge my
employers as "capitalist fatcats" or think they are exploiting me. I am
just a Communist because I would prefer for a much larger
proportion of the current workforce to just draw a welfare check
and stay home. Realistically, a very large percentage of people in the
workforce are just clogging the highways during their commute and then
just wasting bandwidth / electricity / desk space while they are
"working." I am not ashamed to say that for many people, welfare is the
least destructive option.

And I get a real kick out of the people who bitch and moan
constantly about welfare. Chances are, those people really aren't
contributing anything more to society than the people on welfare are
(especially if they spend 30-45 minutes of company time bitching about
welfare with their cronies). And these "workers" take up more space,
more gas, more air, etc. than the welfare recipients do, which doesn't
endear them to me.

Otherwise, I think you're being more than fair. Maybe I am biased
but a male candidate with long hair (or even facial hair) at the
interview would have to be superbly qualified otherwise for me to even
give them the chance to clean up. Excess hair implies poor grooming,
and if one cannot even groom one's self for the interview, what can I
expect on a day-to-day basis? And what does that say about the
candidate's desire to gain employment?

Wow. Interesting, non-relevant response to what appears to me to be 'joke' questions.

> I would have thrown him out the window.
> The guy is obviously an arrogant ass and
> I wouldn't want to subject my employees
> to someone like him regardless of his skill.

Sure. That's why it's better to have incompetent, overpaid, but politically correct and socially adapted miscreants for your employees. Yay :)

Cheers, Kuba

Working long hours is the norm. You should view those hours as "learning" hours. I can handle an hour or two past five. However, I agree that consistently working 10 hours a day, even on Saturdays will quickly burn you out. However, you should have learned enough from all the hours to find a much better job. So look at the hours as an investment in learning, even if the job only lasts 6 months. Of course, I wouldn't work unless they actually paid me for the extra hours. No salary crap.

that is the dummest thing tha i have ever read!!!

the silliest thing ive ever said in an interview was like this

interviewer : how do you cope with excessive workloads and prioritize and what not

me : type faster

These stories don't really fit on WTF, they're based on joining the powerful in laughing at their victims. I prefer laughing at people who fraudulently pretend to be good programmers.

[quote user="Mike R
The whiteboard guy, maybe. But the other two were clearly out of line.
Wearing a suit to an interview is a sign of respect to the people who
are going to employ you. You're supposed to look and behave
professionally when you attend an interview as a professional. Would
you really want Leisure Suit Larry to come code for you?
[/quote]

Well, he apparently WAS a software developer for several years before becoming a swinger in Leisure Suit Larry 1...and in LSL2, he coded up a Word Processor on what looks like a 486 in about 5-10 SECONDS...
"Yes?"

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Why would you leave valuable info on such a temporary place? Next time use a perminent marker or write above and around it do not erase. Who's the one to drop the ball on that. Can't tell you how many time we had a room reserved with a board only to find stuff on it without any info of who wrote it or if we can erase it. One time or one party use of whiteboards in a share room should grounds for kick me slapped to your rear.