• anony (unregistered)

    attached not attacked

  • R. (unregistered)

    "he probably the forum code"

  • Kemp (unregistered) in reply to anony
    anony:
    attached not attacked

    I think either works in this context.

  • (cs)

    At least he could have put the napkin on a wooden table and taken a picture of it.

  • trepo (unregistered) in reply to anony

    Looking at that screenshot, "attacked" seems to be appropriate.

  • (cs)

    The first line says "Investor Creator" and the second line says "Inventorys". He's blued out some of the text, which means you should remove it.

    It's all there Stuart, how could you not understand?

  • kev_the_dev (unregistered)

    The real WTF is why he stayed up to 3am looking for a form.

  • (cs)

    Hanzo stories, boring as they were, at least were based on real submissions.

    This however is based exclusively on serious drug abuse.

    (Ok, it's not boring, but 0% reality in that story).

  • (cs)

    And then Others International threatened them with a hostile takeover, and the only thing that could save them is a last-minute alliance with Targaryen Ltd., led by the daughter of their former CEO (ousted under unpleasant circumstances).

    RIGHT?

  • Felix (unregistered)

    Oh, I think it is a huge improvement compared to Hanzo. Keep it up.

    And no, the references weren't funny. I'd rather see the classic Initrode technologies and properties revived.

  • (cs) in reply to no laughing matter
    no laughing matter:
    Hanzo stories, boring as they were, at least were based on real submissions.

    This however is based exclusively on serious drug abuse.

    (Ok, it's not boring, but 0% reality in that story).

    That's an insular viewpoint. Exaggerated for effect perhaps, but I've worked in places like that (Requirements: "Take the [project X] database, and make it work for [vaguely related project Y]"). And the other extreme of red-tape hell where reading the spec takes longer than doing the dev. Both exist.

  • Fritz, a.k.a. Fritzo (unregistered)

    Are the fake names meant to make sense/be funny?

  • Anangrysockpuppet (but not that one) (unregistered)
    You just do the best you can. Michael will tell you if it’s right or not. You don’t ever ask him to clarify. We lost a good project lead that way.
    You stupid enabling bitch are as bad as the incompetent boss.
  • foo AKA fooo (unregistered) in reply to trepo
    trepo:
    Looking at that screenshot, "attacked" seems to be appropriate.
    Definitely. But to be fair, who knows what kind of turbulences his plane was going through while he wrote^W drew^W attacked those requirements.
  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to R.
    R.:
    "he probably the forum code"
    "It’s not even a proper sentence!"
  • (cs) in reply to Zagyg
    Zagyg:
    (Requirements: "Take the [project X] database, and make it work for [vaguely related project Y]").

    True story: Once, we were migrating from System X to System Y. System X provided data to our Oracle ERP. System Y needed to do the same thing. Keep in mind, that System X and System Y might solve the same problem, but are very different systems. I was tasked with writing the new interface from System Y to the ERP. My requirements? Somebody handed me a print out of the source code of the old, System X, stored procedure and said, "Make it do this."

  • Cenit (unregistered)

    Reminds me of a project manager who handed me a postit with the word "lagerapplikation"¹ and stated he needed it done within two weeks. It was a consultingware application sold to multiple large contractors which obviously needed an inventory module added to it. A week into the development he came by and said that it wasn't a priority anymore and I got reassigned. It took a while but finally I quit and headed on to another consultancy.

    ¹ Swedish for Inventory application or Warehouse application, take you pick.

  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to no laughing matter
    no laughing matter:
    but 0% reality in that story
    You were lucky. When I was just an intern at Initrode Ltd., we received a fax with a sketch of a test rig we were to build. The sketch was hand-drawn and all comments on the sketch were in german! Oh, requirement documents like the one in the story are all too familiar to me...
  • Cenit (unregistered) in reply to Cenit

    Oh, and he frequently did his GUI requirements using MS Paint. To his defence he was good at copy'n'pasting controls and labels so that the modified screenshot of a form actually conveyed a clear picture of the GUI.

  • Iceman (unregistered)

    He accidentally the forum code

  • (cs)

    I'm more interested in that project that was lost on that stormy Christmas eve

  • faoileag (unregistered)
    the article said:
    Stuart spent almost forty-eight hours scouring the codebase for that form in the screenshot
    That's a week in working hours. To find a form in the codebase???

    If the strings are hard-coded in the form, something like "grep" should find you the form real fast.

    If they aren't, chances are high they are stored in a database/file or some other text retrieval system. Find it there and then you can work your way up.

    "What did you do last week?" "Looking for a form in the codebase..." Sounds great.

  • (cs) in reply to Fritz, a.k.a. Fritzo
    Fritz:
    Are the fake names meant to make sense/be funny?

    They're all from the epic, gory fantasy novel/TV series "Game of Thrones", though their usage doesn't mirror anything from its storyline.

  • Black Bart (unregistered) in reply to R.
    R.:
    "he probably the forum code"

    I was hoping someone else would also get the reference to the book "Third Lambda Planet"

  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to ratchet freak
    ratchet freak:
    I'm more interested in that project that was lost on that stormy Christmas eve
    The project lead was lost on Christmas Eve. In this context, this will translate into "sacked".
  • Mike (unregistered)

    Sounds like my boss. I'm barely exaggerating.

  • (cs)

    If you think "this can't be worth it", it probably isn't.

  • Hannes (unregistered) in reply to R.
    R.:
    "he probably the forum code"

    I guess he accidentally the whole thing as well. :(

    But that's what you get for not doing any.

  • Tom (unregistered) in reply to brazzy
    brazzy:
    Fritz:
    Are the fake names meant to make sense/be funny?

    They're all from the epic, gory fantasy novel/TV series "Game of Thrones", though their usage doesn't mirror anything from its storyline.

    Actually, it does: the color of the Lannisters is red, and the color of the Starks is grey...

  • (cs)

    I kinda wish for a Hanzo story, just because the aftermath in the comments is worth a good chuckle.

    Any updates on that drawing challenge?

  • ZoomST (unregistered) in reply to faoileag
    faoileag:
    "What did you do last week?" "Looking at a form in the codebase..." Sounds great.
    FTFY: now it sounds spooky.
  • Geoff (unregistered) in reply to kev_the_dev
    kev_the_dev:
    The real WTF is why he stayed up to 3am looking for a form.

    Honestly I think our "hero" is working in precisely the correct firm for him. Given he is a developer and can't use dir/find/grep/ls and friends. Finding web form or the code the produces it even in a really big code base should be fairly quick; unless perhaps there are like tons of cut and paste duplication.

  • (cs) in reply to MoSlo
    MoSlo:
    I kinda wish for a Hanzo story, just because the aftermath in the comments is worth a good chuckle.

    Any updates on that drawing challenge?

    OK i'll bite.

    Several of the commentors wrote that they had to work from similar vague specs.

    Provide details people!

    Write up your story!

    Which industry where you working in?

    What exactly were the requirements, what did you make out of them and how was the reaction on the delivered software?

  • Smug Unix User (unregistered)

    I think I would have rolled the dice and asked for clarification. If a place is going to let someone go for trying to do quality work it isn't a good place to work.

  • XXXXXX (unregistered)

    The best part about vague requirements is they are usually already met before I start coding.

    when I get requirements for new job XL34G that read like:

    1. Verify data in database
    2. Run job XL34G
    3. Write results to database

    There is no way to implement that incorrectly.

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to foo AKA fooo
    foo AKA fooo:
    trepo:
    Looking at that screenshot, "attacked" seems to be appropriate.
    Definitely. But to be fair, who knows what kind of turbulences his plane was going through while he wrote^W drew^W attacked those requirements.
    MSPaint does have a proper Text tool which would remove the need for fine motor control which was required to physically draw the letters one by one.
  • EvilSnack (unregistered)

    TDPHB.

  • Pock Suppet (unregistered) in reply to Cenit
    Cenit:
    "lagerapplikation"
    Shoot, someone else beat me to Beer as a Service? :(
  • (cs) in reply to Anangrysockpuppet (but not that one)
    You just do the best you can. Michael will tell you if it’s right or not. You don’t ever ask him to clarify. We lost a good project lead that way.

    I still can't see the downside in asking Michael to clarify.

    Addendum (2013-12-12 08:52): Unless Michael studied management on Han's Island.

  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to Pock Suppet
    Pock Suppet:
    Cenit:
    "lagerapplikation"
    Shoot, someone else beat me to Beer as a Service? :(
    Not Pock Suppet, but someone else: PicoBrew - Automatic Beer Brewing Appliance

    No, Akismet, this is not spam. It's beer.

  • Gabriel Dennitch (unregistered)

    Did he accidentally the whole forum code?

  • (cs) in reply to anony
    anony:
    attached not attacked
    he probably the forum code
    The night is dark and full of errors.
  • (cs) in reply to Hannes
    Hannes:
    R.:
    "he probably the forum code"

    I guess he accidentally the whole thing as well. :(

    But that's what you for not doing any.

    FTFY.

  • Dave (unregistered) in reply to XXXXXX
    XXXXXX:
    The best part about vague requirements is they are usually already met before I start coding.

    when I get requirements for new job XL34G that read like:

    1. Verify data in database
    2. Run job XL34G
    3. Write results to database

    There is no way to implement that incorrectly.

    I can think of at least 3 ways to implement that incorrectly.

    1. Don't verify data
    2. Run different job
    3. Don't write results, or write to incorrect database, or delete all the data.

    CAPTCHA: inhibeo...my state of mind last night

  • Anonymous Paranoiac (unregistered)

    I once received a change request that consisted (and I am not making this up) entirely of "Please research and fix problem". Explanation? "Well, you always come and ask me questions about the request anyway, so why waste time trying to explain it?"

    Have also received things like "Please add checkbox to form." Sure, no problem. Oh, did you want the checkbox to do something? Argh.

  • (cs) in reply to brazzy
    brazzy:
    And then Others International threatened them with a hostile takeover, and the only thing that could save them is a last-minute alliance with Targaryen Ltd., led by the daughter of their former CEO (ousted under unpleasant circumstances).

    RIGHT?

    Oh, brother.

  • Grey rabbit (unregistered) in reply to faoileag

    You assume the code is written nicely, and that is a big one.

    What if the string is not fully hard-coded? What if you are looking for "Investor Package" when this appears 1000 times in your 100 000+ files code base? What if the code is split in modules you have never even heard about? What if the form has been refactored?

    I actually recently received a keyword as requirement and the keyword was a wrong vocabulary word. It actually took me about a week to figure what line of the code should be updated.

  • Qazwsx (unregistered)

    If only Erik Gern's submissions were Game of Thrones characters...

    Captcha: nulla - still kind-of fits with the theme.

  • Guestimate (unregistered) in reply to XXXXXX
    XXXXXX:
    The best part about vague requirements is they are usually already met before I start coding.

    when I get requirements for new job XL34G that read like:

    1. Verify data in database
    2. Run job XL34G
    3. Write results to database

    There is no way to implement that incorrectly.

    I think you mean implemented correct.

    As its written there it would call itself, eventually causing a memory overflow/out-of-resources situation and bomb.

    But hey, at least the database has than been thouroughly checked! :-)

  • (cs) in reply to Cenit
    Cenit:
    Oh, and he frequently did his GUI requirements using MS Paint. To his defence he was good at copy'n'pasting controls and labels so that the modified screenshot of a form actually conveyed a clear picture of the GUI.
    Nothing wrong with MSPaint + Snipping Tool for mockups :)

Leave a comment on “Requirements by MSPaint”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

« Return to Article