Comment On Smooth, Like a Factory

That is plane awesome. I would probably just look for another job at that point, and in the meanwhile do just what they ask me to do. But hey, i'm kind of stupid and stubborn at that point.

At my company, things aren't very good, but at least positive input is considered... 

The director paid good money for those seven pages! Think of how gypped
he would have been if those consultants had only provided him with 2-3
pages :)

 

mbvlist:

That is plane awesome.

Nah, it's train awesome. Maybe even automobile awesome.

Plane awesome would just be too plain.

Anonymous:

Seven feet of buggy code, not seven pages.

I can't wait. Next review I'm promoting that I wrote a good 731 yards of code.

This is just like measuring distance in units of time: "How far is it to your house from here?" "Oh, about 20 minutes"

Alex Papadimoulis:

Daren printed out the Page_Load() method using a half-spaced six-point font with two "screens" per page. He highlighted the buggy and incorrect code, spliced the pages together, and went back to The Director's office. In a move that may not have been the wisest career choice, Daren held the first page in the air above his head and let the other taped-together pages cascade to the floor. With over seven-feet of highlighted code in hand, Daren said: "this is what's wrong with the code."

YES.  This was the correct response, career-limiting or not.  I would pay good money to see the look on the Director's face at that point.

Anonymous:

Seven feet of buggy code, not seven pages.

So actually 7.63 pages, using 8.5x11" paper.

Unless you don't count the margins...
 

shadowman:

Anonymous:

Seven feet of buggy code, not seven pages.

So actually 7.63 pages, using 8.5x11" paper.

Unless you don't count the margins...

He said it was printed 2 pages per sheet, so it was most likely printed 2 portrait shaped pages, side by side, lanscaped on the paper.  So, really 9.88 sheets...

captha: knowhutimean 

Seven feet of 6 point half-spaced code. With two "screens" per page.

You're looking at over 1000 lines of bad code.

Captcha: quality, not to be confused with quantity
 

yeah, sorry. I'm not using my English enough lately :(

WTF! Why can't I repair a typo after 10 minutes? The Biggest WTF (tm) is this forum :(
 

Alex Papadimoulis:

Daren printed out the Page_Load() method using a half-spaced six-point font with two "screens" per page. He highlighted the buggy and incorrect code, spliced the pages together, and went back to The Director's office. In a move that may not have been the wisest career choice, Daren held the first page in the air above his head and let the other taped-together pages cascade to the floor. With over seven-feet of highlighted code in hand, Daren said: "this is what's wrong with the code."

Oh wait, did you say that only the Page_Load() method was seven feet long ? 

*shudders* 

Anonymous:

shadowman:

Anonymous:

Seven feet of buggy code, not seven pages.

So actually 7.63 pages, using 8.5x11" paper.

Unless you don't count the margins...

He said it was printed 2 pages per sheet, so it was most likely printed 2 portrait shaped pages, side by side, lanscaped on the paper.  So, really 9.88 sheets...

Well, lets assume 1" margins on all sides and 7 feet of actual code, so close to 13 pages, really.

Anonymous:

The real WTF is that he wasn't greeted as the hero he is.

He's not a hero; he's a no-good interloper.  As long as something works, that's all that matters.  In fact if there more steps, tricks, and turns; that makes it more interesting.  Anyone who modifies a system such that things are simplified is insulting the creator who was rewarded based on the level of complexity (not of the requirements, but of the solution).

 

Personally, I would have used a 12 point font, and regular spacing. That would have given him 14+ feet of highlighted code. The door might not have hit him on the way out.

Career suicide  can be awe inspiring it you are standing far enough back not to get hit by the flying body parts (and blame). I once got to see a neophyte programmer do it by trying to suck up to the company owner. The owner had just finished tearing the entier programming staff a new orifice; and the neo's final words were ".... you must have kissed the blarney stone". The neo was never heard from again.

Anonymous:

Anonymous:

The real WTF is that he wasn't greeted as the hero he is.

He's not a hero; he's a no-good interloper.  As long as something works, that's all that matters.  In fact if there more steps, tricks, and turns; that makes it more interesting.  Anyone who modifies a system such that things are simplified is insulting the creator who was rewarded based on the level of complexity (not of the requirements, but of the solution).

I agree with the "As long as something works, that's all that matters" statement.

You need to keep it working and keep all changes you made rather secret.

As long as you can explain the changes to some intelligent mid-management person who can intervene and support  you when needed.

This is the Catch 22 of IT: make it work without making any waves and at the same time make them understand you are doing something good for their organization and that you deserve your salary.

 "If you do everything right, in the end nobody will know if you did anything at all."

My last job, I kept if more than 5 years and managed to keep it until the voice of the "The IT guy is not doing anything" people managed to overcome that of the "We need the IT guy" people.

Last I heard, the multiple IT shops supposed to replace all my different tasks are doing an awful job and end up being more costly than me, plus they don't have anybody to tell them how to do menial IT tasks (they also realized that nobody was ordering print cartridges anymore when they ran out on an important production day).

Sometimes you do not want to me confrontational, just shut up to keep the job and look around.

Anonymous:

...and the neo's final words were ".... you must have kissed the blarney stone". The neo was never heard from again.

 See?  Now THAT'S how the Matrix sequels should have been written!
 

Anonymous:

Who would use feet to measure length anyway?

I use my hands, and a tape measure. 

Anonymous:

Who would use feet to measure length anyway?

At least, that's what I do...

<_<

>_>

 

kuroshin:

Alex Papadimoulis:

Daren printed out the Page_Load() method using a half-spaced six-point font with two "screens" per page. He highlighted the buggy and incorrect code, spliced the pages together, and went back to The Director's office. In a move that may not have been the wisest career choice, Daren held the first page in the air above his head and let the other taped-together pages cascade to the floor. With over seven-feet of highlighted code in hand, Daren said: "this is what's wrong with the code."

Oh wait, did you say that only the Page_Load() method was seven feet long ? 

*shudders* 

 It's simple refactoring to fix... Page_Load() calls LoadPage(), and LoadPage() is 7 feet of bad code.  All better.
 

Anonymous:

Seven feet of buggy code, not seven pages.

 so how many pages is that , assuming standard 'letter' sized paper (8.5x11).

Anonymous:

Anonymous:

The real WTF is that he wasn't greeted as the hero he is.

He's not a hero; he's a no-good interloper.  As long as something works, that's all that matters.  In fact if there more steps, tricks, and turns; that makes it more interesting.  Anyone who modifies a system such that things are simplified is insulting the creator who was rewarded based on the level of complexity (not of the requirements, but of the solution).
 

I am so glade I work where I do.... If we can show that a fix, modification, or whatever can improve the process and/or save money then we can nomrally get the green light to do so.

step 1: Get Fired.

step 2: Twist the tale of your firing until it was your bosses legendary stupidity that resulted in your firing.

step 3: Impress prospective employers with your tale.

step 4: Get hired in a new job. 

step 5: Profit.

Not entirely sure if you were joking, I hope so... 

With all the work-arounds and manual interventions listed, one could hardly say it was working...

Anonymous:

Anonymous:

The real WTF is that he wasn't greeted as the hero he is.

He's not a hero; he's a no-good interloper.  As long as something works, that's all that matters.  In fact if there more steps, tricks, and turns; that makes it more interesting.  Anyone who modifies a system such that things are simplified is insulting the creator who was rewarded based on the level of complexity (not of the requirements, but of the solution).

 

I like to think of it this way: A ferarri is also really complex solution to a rather simple problem.

Likewise, a company can take their clients to McDonald's and it will satisfy their hunger, but they shell out more money to go some place fancy. Something finely crafted will always be appreciated more than something that just gets the job done.

shadowman:

Anonymous:

shadowman:

Anonymous:

Seven feet of buggy code, not seven pages.

So actually 7.63 pages, using 8.5x11" paper.

Unless you don't count the margins...

He said it was printed 2 pages per sheet, so it was most likely printed 2 portrait shaped pages, side by side, lanscaped on the paper.  So, really 9.88 sheets...

Well, lets assume 1" margins on all sides and 7 feet of actual code, so close to 13 pages, really.

12 .. that last page is just the trailing whitespace :P 

I worked with Daren at the time, and I assure you it is all true.  Every bit. I wish you guys could have seen the Visio mentioned in the story.  It is literally 14 manual steps that had to be performed each month.  And I saw the 7 foot long print out with my own eyes.  I was cracking up at the time.

 And Daren did not get fired... nor does he work there anymore.
 

Anonymous:

He said it was printed 2 pages per sheet, so it was most likely printed 2 portrait shaped pages, side by side, lanscaped on the paper. 

Actually, as a computer screen is wider than it is long, I'd assume that he'd put two of them, top-to-bottom, on a page printed portrait.

I'd further assume that he was doing screen prints (ie, it was 'with two "screens" per page') taping them together, and highlighting parts, to visually demostrate how contorted & silly the report process was. 

unklegwar:

<snip>

This is just like measuring distance in units of time: "How far is it to your house from here?" "Oh, about 20 minutes"

You could always express the distance to your house in fractions of light-years. 

 186,000 miles per second, it's not just a good idea, it's the law!

Anonymous:

Who would use feet to measure length anyway?

Only an American or British, as every other country use SI units.  7 feet would be 2 meters or so.  Yes those two countries should convert to SI system, but why USA/UK would care of the rest of the World.  My 2 cents.

Anonymous:

shadowman:

Well, lets assume 1" margins on all sides and 7 feet of actual code, so close to 13 pages, really.

12 .. that last page is just the trailing whitespace :P 

Well, to be honest, there's also the final curly brace on there.

(I *know* I'm not the only one that happens to sometimes seemingly every single time I print code...)
 

Anonymous:

Anonymous:

Anonymous:

The real WTF is that he wasn't greeted as the hero he is.

He's not a hero; he's a no-good interloper.  As long as something works, that's all that matters.  In fact if there more steps, tricks, and turns; that makes it more interesting.  Anyone who modifies a system such that things are simplified is insulting the creator who was rewarded based on the level of complexity (not of the requirements, but of the solution).

 

I like to think of it this way: A ferarri is also really complex solution to a rather simple problem.

Likewise, a company can take their clients to McDonald's and it will satisfy their hunger, but they shell out more money to go some place fancy. Something finely crafted will always be appreciated more than something that just gets the job done.

Likewise, a company can take their clients to McDonald's and it will
satisfy their hunger, but they shell out more money to go some place
fancy. Something finely crafted will always be appreciated more than
something that just gets the job done.

 
Yes, but as my dad always said: "This is not the Olympics.  There are no points awarded for difficulty." 

Alex Papadimoulis:

In a move that may not have been the wisest career choice, Daren held the first page in the air above his head and let the other taped-together pages cascade to the floor. With over seven-feet of highlighted code in hand, Daren said: "this is what's wrong with the code."

So he openly challenged the directors' judgement, technical know-how and budget spending. Of course a status-and-prestige-oriented personality would go for him after having ostensibly proved being a clear and present danger to his tenure.

Anonymous:

unklegwar:

<snip>

This is just like measuring distance in units of time: "How far is it to your house from here?" "Oh, about 20 minutes"

 

You could always express the distance to your house in fractions of light-years. 

 186,000 miles per second, it's not just a good idea, it's the law!

Anonymous:

Anonymous:

Who would use feet to measure length anyway?

Only an American or British, as every other country use SI units.  7 feet would be 2 meters or so.  Yes those two countries should convert to SI system, but why USA/UK would care of the rest of the World.  My 2 cents.

Why should we convert? The imperial system came before SI! Sometimes, it is just better ot use an already existing (and functional) system rather than consuming resources (time, energy, money) developing a new system and then trying to convince everyone that yours is better. SI is no more a golden hammer than COBOL is. :P

Plus, measuring temperature in centigrade is just plain dumb. 

Thanks J!  I appreciate the validation; I wouldn't believe this story either if someone had told me it.

Alex did a good job anonymizing the story, but all the pertinent facts are as he described them.  And yes, Page_Load was indeed a couple thousand lines of spaghetti code. 

One of the original authors of this was the same person who implemented a web service which accepted a serialized "object" as parameter.  His approach was to de-serialize the XML from the SOAP stream into a C# object, then reserialize it into XML with a different schema (I've no idea why), then access the "properties" through XPath queries, rather than just accessing the properties of the C# object.
 

Note to Daren S (for future reference :) :

People don't like to be told they are stupid and forked up...