Comment On Stargate: Code of the Replicators

Wow. I see Microsoft plans to make Javascript the standard-complaint™ language for the universe seem to have worked out in the near future.
And, O yeah:
F1RST!!~!!1111

What I really like about that javascript is the function names. Not a WTF, but it does make me wonder what kind of site has a Tour3 and a Tour4 page... Anyone?

CAPTCHA:transverbero

Now I understand why the Replicator code is so complex, that even Rodney can not figure it out. :)

Wait, not just JavaScript ... it is an UPPERCASE ONLY JAVASCRIPT? (sorry for shouting). That's just wrong. I guess they wanted to make it easy for non-programmers to understand that it is a programming language ... from the 60's!

COBOL, LISP, APL, FORTH ... I think they were all uppercase-only. Anyone else remember back that far?

Hmm. Does VBA have a "window.open" function? Because that allows all uppercase.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Pete:

What I really like about that javascript is the function names. Not a WTF, but it does make me wonder what kind of site has a Tour3 and a Tour4 page... Anyone?

CAPTCHA:transverbero

Nice. Thank you for catching that.

Hihihi.

Pete:

What I really like about that javascript is the function names. Not a WTF, but it does make me wonder what kind of site has a Tour3 and a Tour4 page... Anyone?

yeah, and a 'welcome' page as well as a 'paybill' page. I for one have never come across a site with those kind of pages.

cum across perhaps...

Interesting reference to "FLASH_PAYBILL" in the code.

I guess Replicators have finance troubles too!

Wait, not just JavaScript ... it is an UPPERCASE ONLY JAVASCRIPT?

I think it's just a small-caps font. Check out the size of the X compared to the other letters in moveX, for example.

Idiots! Clearly the real code is in the l337 at the bottom of the page. It clearly is a forum post as you can make out the two :O icons as well as the highly technical use of the end of transmission teaspoon.

Replicatorz r in ur bankz stealin ur fundz.

Seriously, I want to know what bank's code made it in there. I gotta switch over to them - even if all life on earth is consumed my money will be safe and, what's more, multiplying as the Replicators continue to replicate. Talk about compounding interest!

So, Brightware did conquer the universe after all!

http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Straight_Shooter_for_Upper_Management.aspx

The bastards did try JavaScript!

I wonder if the royal bank of canada is aware that stargate is stealing its javascript:

http://www.rbcroyalbank.com/RBC:R9qHJ471JsUAGVAiOJY/oec/index.html#01

I thought replicators were wiped out in season 8... They are making a comeback?

Pete:

I wonder if the royal bank of canada is aware that stargate is stealing its javascript:

http://www.rbcroyalbank.com/RBC:R9qHJ471JsUAGVAiOJY/oec/index.html#01

Winner!

I humbly bow down to your 1337 sleuthing skillz.

Hahaha I caught this too, I was wondering if anyone else had.

There's a few frames in there, more than you can see in the tiny YouTube and the one still here.

The guys behind Stargate pride themselves in not taking the show too seriously.

And as tfc pointed out, albeit accidentally, this is a bit of a spoiler. Also tfc elaboration would be a more major spoiler, so it's best you just watch it yourself.

Huh... I bet they chose the Royal Bank of Canada specifically as some joke... I mean Stargate is shot in Vancouver after all. They could've chose any site at random, but they ended up with a Canadian one. I suppose JavaScript was a good choice to use since it's very nature means you have to expose the source code to any users anyways.

I bet one of the writers or producers had a bad enough experience with them to warrant comparing them to Replicators. :)

Hm, the script seems to originate from here:
http://www.rbcroyalbank.com/products/deposits/intro-estatements.html

Not that page, exactly. Maybe an older version of that page or somewhere else on that site.

Pyro:

Well this is obviously wrong, everyone knows that programs for eviltakeovertheworldkilllallhumans robots is only written in Lisp

But they're really easy to defeat. Just wait until they start garbage collecting and you can approach in complete safety...

(Yes, I've used LispWorks. Does it show?)

Wow. Come on, if you're gonna show code in plaintext like that at least make it sound... evil. Not "Oh no, they're going to show me a tour ahhhhh run!".

Entertainment once again fails at programming, but at least they used real code, I guess...

TRWTF is that the Irish girl is gone!

Captcha: jumentum

Prosthetic Lips:

COBOL, LISP, APL, FORTH ... I think they were all uppercase-only. Anyone else remember back that far?

Most of the LISP code I've seen is (almost) lowercase-only. As for APL, it's not quite applicable. Most of it is Greek, and most of us wouldn't know UC from lc in that. Much of the rest is made-up stuff. Is a "domino" UC or lc?

And while we're at it... is anybody else finding this site very very slow today? Not sure if it's just my company's pipe or what....

BAH! Even in the future they use unnecessary hungarian notation?

//Seriously, this is a function
function fn_Stuff(){
[...]
}
//Seriously, the above code was a function. Why else
//would it wear that funny hat?

The replicators can't be that formidable, their numbers are limited to 2^32 until they upgrade to IPv6.

Pete:

I wonder if the royal bank of canada is aware that stargate is stealing its javascript:

http://www.rbcroyalbank.com/RBC:R9qHJ471JsUAGVAiOJY/oec/index.html#01

So they create SkyNet...

whaba:

TRWTF is that the Irish girl is gone!

I guess busted tees used up their ad budget by having everyone clicking their ad, hoping to find more pictures of Irish girl.

whaba:

Captcha: jumentum

Irish we'd "captcha'd" her.

Ed:

Wow. Come on, if you're gonna show code in plaintext like that at least make it sound... evil. Not "Oh no, they're going to show me a tour ahhhhh run!".

Entertainment once again fails at programming, but at least they used real code, I guess...

That tour comment made me laugh out loud.

My favorite Hollywood techie moment was the UI on hackers where he declared the dude dead. "Let's see... click here... then here... one more click. TAKE THAT ANGELINA JOLIE! ... with your fat lips."

Also, I think it was Swordfish where I was laughing through most of the movie. Like when he's sitting at that computer with 15 screens and they all have some complicated UI on them. And that was when my video card had trouble with Asheron's Call on one monitor.

JavaScript by itself would not be a WTF in this case - according to the story, the particular replicator being studied is manufactured according to instructions provided from Area 52: it is a re-engineered replicator based on human programming technologies for the ease of understanding by human operators.

And about the web servers, web pages and Flash .. wouldn't you thing that mesh computing would require some sort of multi-tier architecture abstraction on top of it, at least for the top interfaces for the human operators?

Actually, Stargate occurs in the present.

Addendum (2008-03-14 11:52):
Forgot to quote:

Pope:

BAH! Even in the future they use unnecessary hungarian notation?

//Seriously, this is a function
function fn_Stuff(){
[...]
}
//Seriously, the above code was a function. Why else
//would it wear that funny hat?

Okay, the Replicators run JavaScript - it says nothing whether they use IPv4 or v6 (does IP work over subspace?). Even if they use IPv4, ~4 billion replicators are still a pain in the Asgard.

The Replicates *obviously* evolve from Skynet. Jeez that's the TRUE-TDWTF(TM) how you you not know that? - the banking site is just like a part of it's "junk" DNA.

Jeez I'm so L337 that I still get to see Irish girl whom may not be true Irish at all while some complaint she's gone.... ! Thanks BustedTees for the best ad ever(yes I've been drinking, damn straight)

merreborn:

The URL mentioned in the second function is:
http://www.rbcroyalbank.com/oec/avatar/html/01_PB/1_flash_paybill.htm

Apparently, the little demo avatar in the corner is the basis of Replicator AI.

No wonder they say the big banks are the root of evil!

A High-level programming language to us is machine language to them. That is, they read the specific string vibration attributes (string theory) of tritium found in black holes and all the syntax is formed by mother nature herself.
Carbon-based life-forms use very very simple fortran syntax formed from basic hydrogen found in stars.

I don't know if you seen the movie but this is not replicator code, it is "addon" (there should be shutdown code somewhere in there) code from humans which was placed on the microchip in the crystal. So it should not represent futuristic code or something. But yeah, when I saw the movie it was WTF moment for me :)

Pyro:

Well this is obviously wrong, everyone knows that programs for eviltakeovertheworldkilllallhumans robots is only written in Lisp

I believe you are incorrect. The actual answer is "everyone knows that programs written for saving the world from anything at all are written by Jeff Goldblum in AppleScript."

1337:

This piece of futuristic code may *look* like some antiquated javascript code from the royal bank of canada, but this is just an obfuscation of its true function in a yet-to-be-developed language, intended to throw off anyone trying to inspect the code. Its true function can only be discovered after decrypting this obfuscation layer (and possibly other layers).

Actually the program is written in Whitespace

Prosthetic Lips:

Wait, not just JavaScript ... it is an UPPERCASE ONLY JAVASCRIPT? (sorry for shouting). That's just wrong. I guess they wanted to make it easy for non-programmers to understand that it is a programming language ... from the 60's!

COBOL, LISP, APL, FORTH ... I think they were all uppercase-only. Anyone else remember back that far?

Hmm. Does VBA have a "window.open" function? Because that allows all uppercase.

Curiouser and curiouser.

It was the font used. CopperPlate Gothic Bold, for example, has lowercase letters that are just 90%-height versions of the uppercase letters.

IN THE NEXT SERIES OF STARGATE...
Spoiler Warning: When the replicators make an inadequately explained comeback (the Stargate produces must recycle all plot lines ad nausium) Major Carter cripples them taking advantage of an Internet Explorer vunerablitity. It's revealed that the Asgard technology now used by the team (and perhaps the governments involved in the Stargate program) is immune as those commie Asgard were big-arse Linux fans. Jack also is involved somehow and Vala is annoying.

Teal'c shaves his head again giving in to calls that he just looks cooler that way.

Pete:

What I really like about that javascript is the function names. Not a WTF, but it does make me wonder what kind of site has a Tour3 and a Tour4 page... Anyone?

Maybe the bank hired a webdev with um previous experience under um his belt.

Evil Overlord Rule #224: "I will not develop software to take over the world with a web interface accessable from the Internet."

The Irish girl is smiling at me!

http://www.rbcroyalbank.com/oec/

<cough>View Source</cough>

1337:

This piece of futuristic code...

Stargate doesn't take place in the future. It's "now".

That's weird. When Simon Tam was reviewing the brain-scan results for River Tam at the beginning of the "Firefly" episode "War Stories", it was JavaScript too! So we're ALL replicants! Unicorn!

That comment made my day.

Paradoxical Combinator:

The replicators can't be that formidable, their numbers are limited to 2^32 until they upgrade to IPv6.

If humans can work around it with ports and nat... I guess an almighty AI could do it too... But then again... they're using javascript

Their compile log seems to output in Elven