Comment On The Interesting Resume, The Insecure Resume, and More

Are you married?
No, but I'm sure it's coming soon.
What does that mean?
I'm waiting for them to legalize it in my state.

Remy Martin:

Are you married?
No, but I'm sure it's coming soon.
What does that mean?

I'm a good Christan man, and I can't wait much longer to have sex.

At least that first candidate can claim plenty of hands-on experience with Ada.

Applying for a job from jail must be pretty much impossible whatever the trade. Kudos to him for trying and putting together a reasonably coherent cover letter. I don't even mind the illegible handwriting, mine is just as bad if not worse - and who the hell writes on dead trees these days anyway?

If "The Firm" taught me anything, it's that companies that want you to have families just want leverage to blackmail you.

Anonymous:

and who the hell writes on dead trees these days anyway?

Third world country national, poor people, jailed people, etc

How to reply to assholes:

"We expect all of our employees to have a family, and since you don't now, I need to know when you plan on having one."

"Hey, could be any day now, since I started banging your wife!" <walks out>

serguey123:

Anonymous:

and who the hell writes on dead trees these days anyway?

Third world country national, poor people, jailed people, etc

Actually you just identified three groups of people that typically write on dead trees less than the average person.

THRWTF is the phrase "man up". How did this pseudo-macho idiocy become legitimized as English, and how can we make people stop using it?
Worse yet, in the Times the other day, someone one quoted asserting that a certain politician needed to "leader up". I didn't read any further, as I'd clawed out my eyes to stop the burning.

The last one hit home. I once interviewed at a place looking for an architect for their back end systems, and eventually I talked with the founder, who bragged about have an illegal database of every physician in the country and how he was going to sell them discount cards and make a killing. Then he bragged about all the investments he was getting from people with lots of money (one of whom he had been talking to while I stewed for an hour after the scheduled interview time). I realized at that point this was probably a ponzi scheme and bolted for the door.

TRWTF is Idaho.

frits:

TRWTF is Idaho.

You da ho indeed, but that's not a WTF. We all knew that already, and we're okay with that.

When it comes to commenting, I am the master!

Actually, the irony is as thick as maple soup: he advertises (with a pencil, on lined paper) that he is a master of electronic data.

wtf:

THRWTF is the phrase "man up". How did this pseudo-macho idiocy become legitimized as English, and how can we make people stop using it?
Worse yet, in the Times the other day, someone one quoted asserting that a certain politician needed to "leader up". I didn't read any further, as I'd clawed out my eyes to stop the burning.

Next time my PM is complaining about deadlines I'm going to be all like "hey man, project manager up".

TRWTF is prison.

Anonymous:

wtf:

THRWTF is the phrase "man up". How did this pseudo-macho idiocy become legitimized as English, and how can we make people stop using it?
Worse yet, in the Times the other day, someone one quoted asserting that a certain politician needed to "leader up". I didn't read any further, as I'd clawed out my eyes to stop the burning.

Next time my PM is complaining about deadlines I'm going to be all like "hey man, project manager up".

The next time my wife is PMSing, I'm going to be all like, "hey, woman, period up!"

frits:

TRWTF is Idaho.

Do you know why it's so windy in Utay?
Hint: it's because Idaho sucks.

wtf:

THRWTF is the phrase "man up". How did this pseudo-macho idiocy become legitimized as English, and how can we make people stop using it?
Worse yet, in the Times the other day, someone one quoted asserting that a certain politician needed to "leader up". I didn't read any further, as I'd clawed out my eyes to stop the burning.

All us cool macho alpha males say it to each other at the slightest hint of pussy-ish behavior. If you man up you can join our merry band and make fun of the french with us.

Inb4 some European comments with "TRWTF is calling it a résumé instead of a CV!"

"Family-Friendly" shouldn't mean that you are REQUIRED to have a family! How weird. Does he want to get together and compare notes on childbirth, sex techniques, etc.?

Quote: "I don't think that word means what you think it means". (The word, of course, is "Inconceivable")

DWalker59:

"Family-Friendly" shouldn't mean that you are REQUIRED to have a family! How weird. Does he want to get together and compare notes on childbirth, sex techniques, etc.?

Quote: "I don't think that word means what you think it means". (The word, of course, is "Inconceivable")

What he means is "Are you gay", without explicitly saying it, which I presume is illegal. Although knowing how the USA works, probably not.

He should have smashed that homophobic cunt's face into a bloody pulp.

Harold:

Anonymous:

wtf:

THRWTF is the phrase "man up". How did this pseudo-macho idiocy become legitimized as English, and how can we make people stop using it?
Worse yet, in the Times the other day, someone one quoted asserting that a certain politician needed to "leader up". I didn't read any further, as I'd clawed out my eyes to stop the burning.

Next time my PM is complaining about deadlines I'm going to be all like "hey man, project manager up".

The next time my wife is PMSing, I'm going to be all like, "hey, woman, period up!"

Yeah... been nice knowing you.

JJ:

Inb4 some European comments with "TRWTF is calling it a résumé instead of a CV!"

I'm not going to be the first to say it but since you mentioned it, don't you think it's weird that we use a latin term and you use... a French term??!! I thought the yanks hated the French and everything about them? Freedom Fries and all that rubbish? Plus there's another bonus to using a latin term - you sound smart saying it. You guys love to make yourselves sound smarter than you really are, right?

</troll> - at least I'm honest about it!

wtf:

THRWTF is the phrase "man up". How did this pseudo-macho idiocy become legitimized as English, and how can we make people stop using it?
Worse yet, in the Times the other day, someone one quoted asserting that a certain politician needed to "leader up". I didn't read any further, as I'd clawed out my eyes to stop the burning.

It probably comes from sports, where a team can play "man to man" defense, and it is common to say "man up" meaning to guard your man tightly. If you are letting your guy score, then you need to "man up" to guarding him better.

Salami:

If you are letting your guy score, then you need to "man up"...

I just wanted to demonstrate how bad this sounds out of context. Immature? Oh yes, very much so.

anarchist:

DWalker59:

"Family-Friendly" shouldn't mean that you are REQUIRED to have a family! How weird. Does he want to get together and compare notes on childbirth, sex techniques, etc.?

Quote: "I don't think that word means what you think it means". (The word, of course, is "Inconceivable")

What he means is "Are you gay", without explicitly saying it, which I presume is illegal. Although knowing how the USA works, probably not.

He should have smashed that homophobic cunt's face into a bloody pulp.

Regardless I'm reasonably certain that it's illegal to discriminate on hiring based on marital status.

"While hiring a welder on a work-release program is one thing, hiring an IT professional and giving them access to your systems is another."

Yea. When an IT guy screws up there is a lot less risk of a critical structural failure, an explosion, a fire, electrocution, and general industrial accidents.

"I'm a well-known entrepreneur," he said, "And my book on unusual management techniques will be coming out in a couple of years. As soon as I find a publisher. I run businesses where everyone is entitled to the profits, and the business is owned by all employees. We vote collectively on all management decisions, and we'll be doing everything including booking A-list celebrity interviews, producing major motion pictures and TV dramas, providing copywriting services and translation, producing radio shows, manufacturing a line of action figures, and, of course, making websites. Did I mention I have tons of expensive equipment?"

Oh man ... this sounds JUST like a guy I did some work for in Atlanta back about 20 years ago! He did actually have a couple of companies but he was one of those who just kind of disappeared after a little while and would re-appear at random. It was always a new company that he'd set up that was going to be the next BIG THING. The last one he called "World Business Network". Heh ...

He generally paid me in equipment rather than cash which was what I needed at the time but I didn't trust him any further than I could throw him!

-Max :D

anarchist:

DWalker59:

"Family-Friendly" shouldn't mean that you are REQUIRED to have a family! How weird. Does he want to get together and compare notes on childbirth, sex techniques, etc.?

Quote: "I don't think that word means what you think it means". (The word, of course, is "Inconceivable")

What he means is "Are you gay", without explicitly saying it, which I presume is illegal. Although knowing how the USA works, probably not.

He should have smashed that homophobic cunt's face into a bloody pulp.

How ironic, an anarchist telling someone what to do...

But yeah, "family friendly". Not "family mandatory".

Salami:

It probably comes from sports, where a team can play "man to man" defense, and it is common to say "man up" meaning to guard your man tightly. If you are letting your guy score, then you need to "man up" to guarding him better.

The many nerds on this site thank you for explaining the sports reference.

anarchist:

DWalker59:

"Family-Friendly" shouldn't mean that you are REQUIRED to have a family! How weird. Does he want to get together and compare notes on childbirth, sex techniques, etc.?

Quote: "I don't think that word means what you think it means". (The word, of course, is "Inconceivable")

What he means is "Are you gay", without explicitly saying it, which I presume is illegal. Although knowing how the USA works, probably not.

He should have smashed that homophobic dude's face into a bloody pulp.

So, are you available? Could you send me some full body shots?

Keep in mind welder errors are usually self-correcting (by removing the welder or parts thereof), while a IT guy's mistake will only rarely burn said IT guy's arm off.

Freiheit:

"While hiring a welder on a work-release program is one thing, hiring an IT professional and giving them access to your systems is another."

Yea. When an IT guy screws up there is a lot less risk of a critical structural failure, an explosion, a fire, electrocution, and general industrial accidents.

The point is what the person can steal, not just how badly they can screw up. Imagine hiring a felon to your worksite. One day he gets fed up and steals some tools worth a few hundred bucks and never shows up again.

Now imagine if this guy were in charge of your company's CRM. You're screwed.

Freiheit:

"While hiring a welder on a work-release program is one thing, hiring an IT professional and giving them access to your systems is another."

Yea. When an IT guy screws up there is a lot less risk of a critical structural failure, an explosion, a fire, electrocution, and general industrial accidents.

Generally, the critical work of a welder is better tested and supervised.

Yes, all of those questions are illegal - not illegal to ask though. You can ask anything you want in an interview, but there's a whole class of stuff you aren't supposed to use to make the hiring decision. However, if you asked it, the assumption is that you're going to use the information, and that it might influence your decision in some subtle way even if it's not 'officially' used in a hiring decision. You are much better off not asking. And yes, if someone asked me any of those questions they would be hearing from a lawyer.

Unless it is relevant - if you're hiring for a "motherhood training instructor" - it's perfectly ok to make sure she has some kids.

Kendra:

His web background involved one website complete with animated sparkling Gifs ...

So this is the founder of that cornify-website that is the source of unicorns and rainbows on every Remy Porter article!

I laughed when I read the first story. At first it was just because I live in Idaho, in Ada county even.

But as I read on, I started to realize that I think I've met the inmate/applicant in the story. I'd guess there weren't a lot of inmates in Ada county who are VB developers, and who were looking for programming work around that time.

But I knew one, and despite the fact that the applicant's name in the story has been made all wavy for anonymity's sake, I can still sort of see the name of the guy I remember. I'm almost positive it's him.

If it is the same guy, I knew him because they ended up hiring this VB guy where I was working at the time (just a couple years after the story). Similar attitude, and I think he had a lot of previous jobs. I had found out he was previously incarcerated in Ada county because of concerns over sensitive information, although that ended up not being an issue.

Not a bad guy, but not a great developer either if I recall.

Addendum (2010-10-19 14:10):
To clarify, it was because of sensitive data concerns that I found out he was incarcerated, not that he was incarcerated due to sensitive data concerns as my comment above reads. Sorry for the confusion.

Salami:

It probably comes from sports, where a team can play "man to man" defense, and it is common to say "man up" meaning to guard your man tightly. If you are letting your guy score, then you need to "man up" to guarding him better.

New York Times weighs in.

True... But a 'rm -rf /' on the file server or deleting the RAID on the Exchange server is generally not covered by insurance. In the "White Collar" world, the biggest disaster is being unable to access information.

Uhhh:

True... But a 'rm -rf /' on the file server or deleting the RAID on the Exchange server is generally not covered by insurance. In the "White Collar" world, the biggest disaster is being unable to access information.

Heaven help the idiot employer who hires a criminal and doesn't make backups...

frits:

TRWTF is Idaho.

Locking debtors up isn't a good sign, nor is subsequently expecting someone to find work independently while locked up for any reason (even if it raises no questions about someone's suitability, what employer would want to go through the hassle of arranging someone's work schedule with a prison?). You may be on to something.

anarchist:

DWalker59:

"Family-Friendly" shouldn't mean that you are REQUIRED to have a family! How weird. Does he want to get together and compare notes on childbirth, sex techniques, etc.?

Quote: "I don't think that word means what you think it means". (The word, of course, is "Inconceivable")

What he means is "Are you gay", without explicitly saying it, which I presume is illegal. Although knowing how the USA works, probably not.

He should have smashed that homophobic cunt's face into a bloody pulp.

He should've pulled out the photos of his kids from his wallet, said "I'm sure you'll agree that strong families form the foundation for a healthy society" and got the job. Like a real man would. While the face smasher goes back to his parents' basement (or probably mom's, since the father is out of the picture...probably somewhere in England where the illegitimate births are up to about 95%) and smoked dope.

As a freelance web designer and developer, I end up re-hashing the interview process with potential clients pretty frequently as we figure out if we're a good fit for each other. While still learning the ropes, I went through my fair share of terrible clients, and now that I've got some experience under my belt, I feel pretty keyed in to who I do and do not want to work for, and am pretty strict about turning down gigs that sound fishy.

Most of the time, you can pick up on not-so-kosher job ads right away. But the one interview that really hammered home the importance of due diligence still stands out in my mind.

Without Remy leaving remarks in the comments, I guess Alex decided he should just leave part of the story there.

TRWTF is all you punks hating on anyone who's ever been to jail.

WTF makes you all think every person who's ever been incarcerated will just up and steal data and wreck businesses, or make welding mistakes. The two aren't related.

Discriminatory losers.

wtf:

THRWTF is the phrase "man up". How did this pseudo-macho idiocy become legitimized as English, and how can we make people stop using it?
Worse yet, in the Times the other day, someone one quoted asserting that a certain politician needed to "leader up". I didn't read any further, as I'd clawed out my eyes to stop the burning.

You need to man up and stop being such a baby.

Q:

WTF makes you all think every person who's ever been incarcerated will just up and steal data and wreck businesses, or make welding mistakes. The two aren't related.

So you'd trust someone who was incarcerated for computer fraud to work in IT at your company?

When you reply, keep in mind that my earlier post mentions that we did hire someone who was previously incarcerated to work in IT (although I don't believe he was incarcerated for computer fraud).

Q:

WTF makes you all think every person who's ever been incarcerated will just up (...) and wreck businesses, (...) The two aren't related.

Sometimes they are not. Sometimes they are!

TRWTF is Akismet: Second try.

jasmine2501:

Yes, all of those questions are illegal - not illegal to ask though. You can ask anything you want in an interview, but there's a whole class of stuff you aren't supposed to use to make the hiring decision. However, if you asked it, the assumption is that you're going to use the information, and that it might influence your decision in some subtle way even if it's not 'officially' used in a hiring decision. You are much better off not asking. And yes, if someone asked me any of those questions they would be hearing from a lawyer.

You'd honestly try to litigate? That's ridiculous, I'd just move on to the next interview and forget about it. What would be the charge? Would you try to sue them for money or what? Forgive me, I don't really understand the US culture of litigation, but I don't see you could legitimately claim for compensation so what's the point? What's your endgame?

jasmine2501:

Yes, all of those questions are illegal - not illegal to ask though. You can ask anything you want in an interview, but there's a whole class of stuff you aren't supposed to use to make the hiring decision. However, if you asked it, the assumption is that you're going to use the information, and that it might influence your decision in some subtle way even if it's not 'officially' used in a hiring decision. You are much better off not asking. And yes, if someone asked me any of those questions they would be hearing from a lawyer.

Unless it is relevant - if you're hiring for a "motherhood training instructor" - it's perfectly ok to make sure she has some kids.

The CFO probably wanted to know if the applicant would fit in and went about it in a wrong way. Keeping a good office dynamic is important, especially in smaller companies.

Everyone go crazy and sue though.

Anonymous:

jasmine2501:

Yes, all of those questions are illegal - not illegal to ask though. You can ask anything you want in an interview, but there's a whole class of stuff you aren't supposed to use to make the hiring decision. However, if you asked it, the assumption is that you're going to use the information, and that it might influence your decision in some subtle way even if it's not 'officially' used in a hiring decision. You are much better off not asking. And yes, if someone asked me any of those questions they would be hearing from a lawyer.

You'd honestly try to litigate? That's ridiculous, I'd just move on to the next interview and forget about it. What would be the charge? Would you try to sue them for money or what? Forgive me, I don't really understand the US culture of litigation, but I don't see you could legitimately claim for compensation so what's the point? What's your endgame?

I made the reply below yours, but I think to answer your question:
laziness - people don't want to work and getting money from a lawsuite is easier