Comment On The Utility Package

if isIntentegerInRange(1, 1, 1)
print frist

isNull("WTF?") == isNotNull("WTF?");

I never thought I'd see a function that implies a boolean return value simply return the hex code for red as a string. Mind boggling.

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {

    // probably not by now

}

SR:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {

    // probably not by now

}

You forgot the result:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {

// probably not by now
throw new RetardedDeveloperException(false);
}

An intenteger is for when you really mean that one number.

sjakie:

You forgot the result:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {

// probably not by now
throw new RetardedDeveloperException(false);
}

I particularly like the boolean parameter and its implications. Does "false" mean the developer happens not to be retarded? Wouldn't that exception then be silently swallowed? And what is the correct exception handling policy for this kind of exception, particularly when issued with a true parameter? Delete the developer's hard disk?

I use intentegers all the time intententionally.

This sort of code is like a recurring nightmare. I can't even count the number of times I've seen this crap before and it's a foregone conclusion that I'll see it again. Note to HR: stop hiring these people FFS! You are the reason we must suffer these fools!

Oxin:

I never thought I'd see a function that implies a boolean return value simply return the hex code for red as a string. Mind boggling.

Yeah, I choked when I saw that.

TheRider:

sjakie:

You forgot the result:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {

// probably not by now
throw new RetardedDeveloperException(false);
}

I particularly like the boolean parameter and its implications. Does "false" mean the developer happens not to be retarded? Wouldn't that exception then be silently swallowed? And what is the correct exception handling policy for this kind of exception, particularly when issued with a true parameter? Delete the developer's hard disk?

I see your confusion, but apparently you haven't worked with nte methods before, or with the Integernte framework. Any experienced retarded developer knows that, right!

Just for clarity:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {

// probably not by now
throw new RetardedDeveloperException(false);
}

public static boolean isCommentFrist(String commentnte) {

// probably not by now
throw new RetardedDeveloperException(true);
}

Obviously any RetardedDeveloperException ultimately causes one of your CPU cores to be used for melting marshmallows by chipmunks on LSD.

It's not an additional "nte" it's an additional "ent", made to work on trees.

TheRider:

sjakie:

You forgot the result:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {

// probably not by now
throw new RetardedDeveloperException(false);
}

I particularly like the boolean parameter and its implications. Does "false" mean the developer happens not to be retarded? Wouldn't that exception then be silently swallowed? And what is the correct exception handling policy for this kind of exception, particularly when issued with a true parameter? Delete the developer's hard disk?

Correct handling policy pattern for RetardedDeveloperException:

  try {

     lameDeveloperCode();

  } catch (RetardedDeveloperException e) {

     if (e.isRetarded() {

        goodDeveloperCode();

     } else {

        throw new RetardedDeveloperFib(e);

     }

  }

Oh cool, I just added this to my code repository.

... the RetardedDeveloperException.

anonym:

if isIntentegerInRange("one", 1, 1)
print frist

anonym:

if isIntentegerInRange("0001", 1, 1)
print frist

anonym:

if isIntentegerInRange("1", 1, 1)
print frist

Aren't these more likely? It checks a string against the range.

First code snippet for a long time where every function along the way all I could think to myself was

grzlbrmft:

Oh cool, I just added this to my code repository.

... the RetardedDeveloperException.

Good man. Just make sure it handles FILE_NOT_FOUND correctly.

sjakie:

SR:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {

    // probably not by now

}

You forgot the result:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {
// probably not by now
throw new RetardedDeveloperException(false);
}

In keeping with the theme, shouldn't that be...

public static object isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) { 

    // probably not by now 

    return new RetardedDeveloperException(false); 

}

I don't see the WTF. As far as I can see, this developer is ahead of all of us. Who among us could write a method that checks not the integer that we pass in, but the integer that we intended to pass in? This is an ESP library. I'm in awe.

spxza:

It's not an additional "nte" it's an additional "ent", made to work on trees.

Oh sorry, must have misread that.

Never liked the ent framework, reminds me too much of Hobbit++ not to mention ring buffers and ELF-Eventhandling.

And yet... isNull(x) == isNotNull(x). That can't be good.

sjakie:

SR:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {

    // probably not by now

}

You forgot the result:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {

// probably not by now
throw new RetardedDeveloperException(false);
}

In these politically correct days, of course, we must:

  throw new DifferentlyEnabledDeveloperException(false);

And, of course, retarded developers aren't new:

function defenestrate()

{

  throw old RetardedDeveloper(out_the_window);

}

abbas: Mediaeval Latin abbot, Arabic name, etc.

[2]

Thank you dailywtf for confirming once again that whatever happens, I'll never write code as bad as an isEmpty function that returns either an empty string or the hex code for red. Thank you for reaffirming my belief in myself.

Sean:

sjakie:

SR:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {

    // probably not by now

}

You forgot the result:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {
// probably not by now
throw new RetardedDeveloperException(false);
}

In keeping with the theme, shouldn't that be...

public static object isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) { 

    // probably not by now 

    return new RetardedDeveloperException(false); 

}

I'd just like to return retarded developers. Anyone have an address on that?

The Tao master once explained the nature of x to a young student.

"Is x Null?" asked the Student.

"Is x not Null?" asked the Master in turn.

The Student was enlightened.

Oxin:

I never thought I'd see a function that implies a boolean return value simply return the hex code for red as a string. Mind boggling.

As opposed to FileNotFound? You must be new! Welcome!

anonym:

if isIntentegerInRange(1, 1, 1)
print frist

You sir fail just as bad as the guy in the article. The first element is a string...

isIntegerInRante("1",1,1) would at least compile.

monkeyPushButton:

Sean:

sjakie:

SR:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {

    // probably not by now

}

You forgot the result:

public static boolean isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) {
// probably not by now
throw new RetardedDeveloperException(false);
}

In keeping with the theme, shouldn't that be...

public static object isCommentnteFrist(String commentnte) { 

    // probably not by now 

    return new RetardedDeveloperException(false); 

}

I'd just like to return retarded developers. Anyone have an address on that?

RTFA!!! It is clearly 0xFF0000.

KimmoS:

The Tao master once explained the nature of x to a young student.

"Is x Null?" asked the Student.

"Is x not Null?" asked the Master in turn.

The Student was enlightened.

Mu!

Null is the value that is not a value. To ask what it's value nature is is to deny its Null nature, and yet it is a value nonetheless. Compare with NaN in IEEE floating point.

I'm implementing this in my code, I think it's grand.

public bool IsTrue(boolean TrueOrFalse)
{
bool Error = false;
if(TrueOrFalse == true)
{
Error = false;
}
return Error;
}

but it didn't seem to work right, so I made another
public bool IsTrue(boolean TrueOrFalse)
{
bool Error = false;
if(TrueOrFalse.ToString().ToUpper() == "TRUE")
{
Error = true;
}
return Error;
}

this one seems to work better.

;)

I read "public sad String isNull()"
Poor, public, sad, static function :(

Sean:

RTFA!!! It is clearly 0xFF0000.

Clearly? You are so terribly mistaken, retarded developers use Hexentdecimal addressing. The first occurrence of a retarded developer might more likely be at 0xWTF001FRIST42. Although that one might be on a crack pipe...

Sanity:

And yet... isNull(x) == isNotNull(x). That can't be good.

That ban be good:

if( isNull(x) == isNotNull(x) ) print("this is a quantum computer");

amischiefr:

anonym:

if isIntentegerInRange(1, 1, 1)
print frist

You sir fail just as bad as the guy in the article. The first element is a string...

isIntegerInRante("1",1,1) would at least compile.

Missed that. Surely it should be isStrintegerInRange? (and isStrintentegerInRange for the differently abled)

Clearly it's supposed to be "in-ten-tegers" because you know some number systems go up to 11.

eViLegion:

Oxin:

I never thought I'd see a function that implies a boolean return value simply return the hex code for red as a string. Mind boggling.

Yeah, I choked when I saw that.

Maybe they forgot to mention the programmer was only 9 years old and got his job the old fashion way (nepotism).

amischiefr:

anonym:

if isIntentegerInRange(1, 1, 1)
print frist

You sir fail just as bad as the guy in the article. The first element is a string...

isIntegerInRante("1",1,1) would at least compile.

=D That's funny... And kind of ironic

You hurt codes feelings, code is sad =(

Same here, I wonder if FreeBSD dev is willing to mentor me in implementing said exception in C...

on second thought, that code hurts my head way too much and I need coffee. WTG retard coder (Monkey at keyboard?)!

Anonymous:

This sort of code is like a recurring nightmare. I can't even count the number of times I've seen this crap before and it's a foregone conclusion that I'll see it again. Note to HR: stop hiring these people FFS! You are the reason we must suffer these fools!

Note to hiring managers: stop letting HR screen your candidates FFS! You are the reason we must suffer these fools!

anonym:

if isIntentegerInRange(1, 1, 1)
print frist

I prefer this:

if isIntentegerInRange(1.ToString(), 1, 1){}

if isInTENTegerInRange(1, 1, 1)
//To Do: Come up with witty comment about Irish Girl

I saw this code the other day from a developer who thought he was clever for using ternary syntax:

$myBooleanValue = ($param==1)?"true":"false";

The best part? He justified it because the code someone else had written was expecting a string value of "true" or "false" for $myBooleanValue.

This is one of the better ones I've seen lately.

A seemingly-boolean function that returns the hex code for red?
A function with a parameter named "integer" that is actually a String?

This isn't enterprisey enough.

IntegerRangeFinderFactory f = new IntegerRangeFinderFactory("pie", 27, new Thing());
IntegerRangeFinder rf = f.getIntegerRangeFinder("left", "KHAN!!!");
if(rf.createIntegerRangeFinderFinder().finder().cleft().isIntentegerInRange(IntegerStringMakerDoohickeyMaBob.parseTheFrackinIntegerIntoaString(1), 1, 1) {
try {
throw moreCode();
} catch(NotEnoughCodeException e) {
throw new RetardedDeveloperException(e, "Lies!");
} finally {
stillNotEnoughCode(moar_code_plx, DailyWTF.WOODEN_TABLE);
}
}

BSDGuy:

Same here, I wonder if FreeBSD dev is willing to mentor me in implementing said exception in C...

longjmp(retarded_developer_buf, 1);

I think this is my favourite wtfery ever.
Every little wtf is like a tiny hidden gem - I have to go over each method again and again to find all the things that my brain refused to acknowledge last time, they're just so gorgeously horrific.
/me reads it again...

Addendum (2009-11-02 11:11):
I love that the isEmpty method returns a string, and you have to check whether it's returned the empty string, to find out if your first string was empty.

That looks like hangover code.

Whenever i start a new job i am faced with a huge collection of wtfs faulty design and crappy code.

Fortunately for me, i think amongst the wost thing i saw was:
String doSomeAction(SomeClassType someObject){
try{
return SomeObject.DoSomeAction();
}
catch (NullPointerException e){
return null;
}

}

bad, i know , wtf - i know..but its no where near as bad as
String green="#00FF00";
if (isNull(green))
{
green = isEmpty("","event");
//green might have been set to red, but fortunately isNull will return false...
}

green = null;

if (isNotNull(green))
{
green = isEmpty(green,"notNullEvent");
//at this point we'd have a null pointer exception...
//good thing we made sure our string is not null.
}