Don't forget, The Daily WTF loves terrible emails. If you have some to share, mail in your mail!
Perfectly Safe to Open This (from Alex)
"I mean, to some extent I'm happy to receive offers, but I'm happy with where I am. Ah, whatever."
"Helpful" Support (from Oscar)
"I was on a business trip, and the wireless connection at the hotel was acting weird. SSL connections would fail sporadically, which with the help of Wireshark turned out to be their servers sending HTML error messages instead of a TLS handshake reply (one article I found pointed fingers at Microsoft Forefront, but I didn't dig any further). Since we use OpenVPN at work, it failed the same way and I thought I'd give their support a try. Couple of weeks later, I got the following very 'helpful' reply."
________________________________________________________ From: firstname.lastname@example.org To: email@example.com Subject: RE: Connect Issues Thank you for contacting The Cloud. While The Cloud is a public-access network, we cannot guarantee that all VPN connections used during any given session will work as intended. Further to that point, if your VPN connection fails whilst connected to The Cloud, we are unable to support your VPN. We apologise for the inconvenience this presents. If you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to contact us again. Kind regards, Joseph G The Cloud Support Team
iloveu (from Anon)
We received the below here at TDWTF. Yeah...
________________________________________________________ From: an anonymous lover [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org] To: Alex Papadimoulis Subject: [AP] iloveu dude wtf man u wer hittin on my GF amy? dude ill kick ur as if you ever hit on my girl again il hit u with my fist for seriously. do you even lift? bro i can benchp ress 400 of youre little pipsqueak friends in one setting if u had that many but i bet you dont but serioulsy brah stay away from my gf before i have to come show you why they called me the real wtf
The Origins of a WTF (from Mark M.)It's not often that one gets to witness the formation of the universe, a star, or even a nebula. This week, however, I was gifted with a glimpse of what can only become a WTF. I will, of course, pass on this great opportunity.
Sounds like fun!
Crazy ol' Sears (from Jason B. )
Agent Name from Sears sent me this e-mail today about a recent order we placed, but I don't feel compelled to add the "accessories" to my order...
Sounds like fun!
Just plain wrong... (from Henrik)Google contest run from a Live.com email address. Yep, seems legit!
________________________________________________________ From: a39Aef@gmail.com To: email@example.com Subject: A Terrific Opportunity! Congratulations !!! Dear Google winner, You have been awarded the sum of 750,000.00 Great British Pounds for the on going Google Promo, contact us via this email ( firstname.lastname@example.org ) for more details regarding your winning. Best Regards. Google Management Team.
An Epic Opportunity (from Tim D.)Seriously - if recruiters put as much time and effort into emails like this one, they'd probably fill their positions much faster.
________________________________________________________ From: Jwills@foo-recruiting.com Subject: Formidable and rare PHP Zend role in London To: email@example.com Hi Tim, It was a cold day, Gustav arrived for his first day at work clutching his laptop and some books on the Zend framework. His past nights had been disturbed by the 'Tetris effect', lines of pure code produced by his unconscious mind in his sleep, dropping down, one atop the other, leaving him in somewhat of a half awake, half asleep state throughout the nights. His world view was formed through code, indeed giving him great insight, yet leaving him somewhat distant from those around him. He was starting to question his sanity. A formidable PHP Zend coder, instead of taking rest in its conventional sense, his mind would be occupied with thoughts on RESTful services, instead of using soap in the bath, he would be comparing SOAP with RESTful services. He took a single bite on a pear, the only food he had eaten in two weeks, and instantly started thinkng of PEAR and PECL extensions. Instead of eating, he would usually be coding, his natural hunger instinct shut off from the deep levels of focus that he sustained during coding sessions. Am I human? he asked himself one day, clearly feeling that his very existence had merged with the technology with which he was engaged on a day to day basis. His family life remained intact, a bright wife who understood his predicament serving as a buffer between his internal world and the world around him. Even when talking with her, his mind would drift onto coding, sometimes so much so, that he lost awareness of her very presence. As he calmly, as if programmed, walked through the porte-cochère leading to the entrance of the office, he felt totally in control, as if on a mission to take charge of his young colleagues and guide them in the right direction on the greenfield LAMP platform-build that he was to be in charge of. He knew that this would be no easy feat, but felt reassured that he would be able to get on with producing a large amount of the purest code himself, whilst overseeing the 4 strong team of fastidious developers that already worked at the company, rather than being a mere hands off development manager. As he arrived at his desk, he was astounded by the office environment, a wondrous place, void of unnecessary ornementation, fine desks sculpted from burr walnut. A minimalistic, clutter free environment seemed exactly what young Gustav needed to allow his coding to flourish. The air was as clean, a distant memory pervaded his mind, reminding him of the clean childhod air of the Matterhorn foothills in which he was raised. He mused on the brilliance of the architecture holding him, a hybrid blend of Le Corbusier and Ahrends Burton Koralek he decided..... indeed he had many other interests in addition to his coding....... I am looking for candidates like young Gustav, to fill a technical lead role in a London based agency. I would really like to speak with you about the opportunity as it is a good one. They really want fastidious PHP Zend coders, who have experience in RESTful services, to work on their new platform, and migration to the LAMP stack. You will be coding every day as well as overseeing other developers in a relaxed environment where you start work at 9 and finish at 5. Please do get back to me if you are very good at PHP Zend and are looking for a new opportunity. I will be able to provide you with plenty of information. The salary on offer is £55K-£60K per annum Best Regards
It's not a big deal until you're fired. (from Ian)
"For a while we ran Outlook 2002. Better known to most as Outlook XP. The back end at the time was Exchange 5.5 . We found an issues were one could show the 'From' field when composing an email. The real problem came in the form of being able to fill in ANY name and being able to send the email. Our exchange administrator didn't think this was much of a problem as only a few knew about it, and they were limit to the system admins group."
________________________________________________________ From: IT Director Sent: Tue 2/24/2004 9:10 AM To: ExchangeAdmin Subject: Your negligence... Has cost you your job. Pack you things and get out. You're FIRED!!
Once he calmed down and I admitted I had sent him the message he got the point.