"We came across this trying to sort out why the application never threw errors which said what the problem was," Tom writes, "I wouldn't have minded (much) but the random number generator was something to behold."

Private Function GenerateApologyMessage() As String

    If Now.Millisecond > 900 Then
        Return "Whoops!  Something went slighty awry..."
    ElseIf Now.Millisecond > 800 Then
        Return "How embarassing, I seem to have failed that task!"
    ElseIf Now.Millisecond > 700 Then
        Return "Whoops!  Something went slighty awry..."
    ElseIf Now.Millisecond > 600 Then
        Return "How embarassing, I seem to have failed that task!"
    ElseIf Now.Millisecond > 500 Then
        Return "Whoops!  Something went slighty awry..."
    ElseIf Now.Millisecond > 400 Then
        Return "How embarassing, I seem to have failed that task!"
    ElseIf Now.Millisecond > 300 Then
        Return "Whoops!  Something went slighty awry..."
    ElseIf Now.Millisecond > 200 Then
        Return "How embarassing, I seem to have failed that task!"
    ElseIf Now.Millisecond > 100 Then
        Return "Whoops!  Something went slighty awry..."
    Else
        Return "How embarassing, I seem to have failed that task!"
    End If

End Function