Calories Math, Exacting Password Requirements, and More

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  • Pretendo 2012-01-06 09:04
    Is the Avacado thing not down to the word Calorie normally being used to refer to 1000 calories?
  • Pim 2012-01-06 09:04
    "They really, deep down in the cockles of your heart, wanted me to write down my password, right?"

    Sorry, whose heart was that?
  • Dr. Azrael Tod 2012-01-06 09:06
    Some people are just stupid enough to confuse calories and kilo-calories m(
  • JH 2012-01-06 09:11
    Installing QuickTime on Windows = Huge fail
  • dgvid 2012-01-06 09:16
    I was going to speculate that the calories were displayed in the calorie unit used in science rather than the kilocalorie, informally just called "calories," used to represent food energy. Except that there was no way I could make the math add up for five avocados. Five avocados should have between 750,000 and 1,400,000 calories (750 to 1,400 kcal). If the actual number displayed was meant to represent about 280 kcal, that should have been one large avocado or, at most, two very small ones. (Various web sources claim the kcal in an avocado to be as little as 150 and as much as 280.)
  • nonpartisan 2012-01-06 09:19
    You can only read comments that you've already read that are exactly 14 characters long.
  • dgvid 2012-01-06 09:24
    The error message in Times Square is at least an improvement over the grungy, low-class signs I remember seeing there in the early 80s. Things like:
    XXX
    and
    Burlesque (or often Boylesque)
    and
    Your hooker has encountered a problem and must be restarted.

  • Sean 2012-01-06 09:24
    There are two measures of what a calorie is, a thousand times different from one another. 279883 sounds about right in scientific terms, as it would normally be written as 280 (or 280kCal) near some food.
  • Nagesh 2012-01-06 09:25
    I am not understanding #5. Is Joseph Gordon meking redicule of pasword security?
  • Jellineck 2012-01-06 09:26
    So I'm guessing that Russian prostitutes have Cryllic nails.
  • Will 2012-01-06 09:38
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
  • Steve The Cynic 2012-01-06 09:40
    There are calories, about 4.2 Joules each, representing the energy to heat one gram of water by one degree C.

    There are Calories, also called kilocalories or kcal, exactly 1000 calories. (Yes, boys and girl, a Calorie is 1000 calories.)

    There are not kCal, and if there were, they would be called Mcal, because they would be kilokilocalories, better known as megacalories.

    The edible parts of an avocado are rated about 160kcal per 100g, so, yes, 280kcal per five avocados is a bit light.

    Bizarre coincidence time: did you know that French uses the same word, 'avocat' for both 'avocado' and 'lawyer'? No, I didn't either.
  • Recursive Reclusive 2012-01-06 09:42
    nonpartisan:
    You can only read comments that you've already read that are exactly 14 characters long.

    TL;DR
  • Jeff 2012-01-06 09:42
    The Deal of the Day is not a WTF. The glasses cost $50, but the coupon's value is $25, so you only pay the other $25, saving 50%.

    I like the kneeling girl, however. Sure, her mouth should be open wider. And the glasses should probably come off in case I want to squirt some in her eye.
  • WTF-land braver 2012-01-06 09:50
    I have an avocado tree in my backyard. Now I guess I'm going to build an avocado-fueled power plant.
  • jkupski 2012-01-06 09:55
    "While we all love mindless compulsory corporate training," Mike P writes, "asking us to complete non-causal slideshows required far too much thought."


    It's not a paradox, the slideshow is probably controlled by an instructor, or advances on a timer. It allows you to go back and review, but not to skip forward.

    Or it really could be a completely brain dead design, but despite this being the daily WTF, I'm going to go with the former...
  • Tuxie 2012-01-06 09:59
    ~280 KCal for 5 avocados seems about right.
  • Tuxie 2012-01-06 10:00
    Tuxie:
    ~280 KCal for 5 avocados seems about right.
    Sorry, make that ~280 kcal, not KCal. :P
  • hans 2012-01-06 10:01
    Steve The Cynic:


    Bizarre coincidence time: did you know that French uses the same word, 'avocat' for both 'avocado' and 'lawyer'? No, I didn't either.


    The dutch word for that lawyer is 'advocaat', which is also a dutch word for a 'drink' (you need a spoon) that's similar to egg-nogg.
  • Michael 2012-01-06 10:11
    You can only post posts that you've already posted.
  • PeterH 2012-01-06 10:11
    If your password must be exactly 14 characters long and still contain one alphabet, I would recommend the Hawaiian language http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_language


    ... although it might be a bit tricky finding a keyboard with the appropriate 'glottal stop' key.
  • nonpartisan 2012-01-06 10:24
    Recursive Reclusive:
    nonpartisan:
    You can only read comments that you've already read that are exactly 14 characters long.

    TL;DR


    OnlyRdCmtsURed
  • dubbreak 2012-01-06 10:24
    First one isn't a WTF. The loss is indicated in red which is quite common. They probably copied it straight from their excel spreadsheet calculating the savings.
  • Boog, I Am Your Father! (aka Behold The Return Of Zunesis!)! 2012-01-06 10:25
    Jeff:
    The Deal of the Day is not a WTF. The glasses cost $50, but the coupon's value is $25, so you only pay the other $25, saving 50%.

    I like the kneeling girl, however. Sure, her mouth should be open wider. And the glasses should probably come off in case I want to squirt some in her eye.
    At that point, it doesn't make sense for her to be in an eyeglasses ad anyway. I'm just going to gouge them out.
  • M 2012-01-06 10:31
    Steve The Cynic:

    (Yes, boys and girl, a Calorie is 1000 calories.)


    ...where one pound weighs over ten thousand pounds...
  • whiskeylover 2012-01-06 10:33
    Will:
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
  • Coyne 2012-01-06 10:36
    According to a website I visited, avocados are 276 calories. These must have been those special banker avocados, where each additional one you eat has 3.7525 times the calories of the one before.

    Talk about your compounded interest...
  • Anketam 2012-01-06 10:41
    whiskeylover:
    Will:
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
  • Dude.... 2012-01-06 10:44
    Anketam:
    whiskeylover:
    Will:
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.

    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
  • Bort 2012-01-06 10:52
    I like that all the spergs are tripping over themselves to smugly post "1 Calorie = 1000 calories" even though nobody in the entire universe has ever used the small "calories" when talking about food.
  • Steve The Cynic 2012-01-06 11:00
    Bort:
    I like that all the spergs are tripping over themselves to smugly post "1 Calorie = 1000 calories" even though nobody in the entire universe has ever used the small "calories" when talking about food.

    IT is a industry that attracts pedants. So you get comments by pedants on a site like TDWTF, there's a surprise. In your language, I guess, the word for "pedant" is "sperg". Which language is that?
  • John Preston 2012-01-06 11:04
    In fairness, calories is clearly listed in the screenshot. So, you can call them pedantic all you want, but they are correct and the app developer is the one doing what you claim nobody in the entire universe has ever done.

    So you can be mad at the App developer, but don't me mad at people pointing out that the WTF is using calories in a workout app instead of Calories.
  • Steve The Cynic 2012-01-06 11:06
    Bort:
    I like that all the spergs are tripping over themselves to smugly post "1 Calorie = 1000 calories" even though nobody in the entire universe has ever used the small "calories" when talking about food.

    Well, there was the "science" "experiment" we did at school once (back when setting fire to food was considered acceptable in school science classes). About 5ml of water and a thermometer in a test tube, and a peanut as heat source. Result: the water received about 400 calories, i.e. 0.4 Calories, of heat energy. And we discussed it in those terms when we wrote it up.

    But what do I know, anyway?
  • Anketam 2012-01-06 11:21
    Steve The Cynic:
    Bort:
    I like that all the spergs are tripping over themselves to smugly post "1 Calorie = 1000 calories" even though nobody in the entire universe has ever used the small "calories" when talking about food.

    Well, there was the "science" "experiment" we did at school once (back when setting fire to food was considered acceptable in school science classes). About 5ml of water and a thermometer in a test tube, and a peanut as heat source. Result: the water received about 400 calories, i.e. 0.4 Calories, of heat energy. And we discussed it in those terms when we wrote it up.

    But what do I know, anyway?
    In my class we burned cheeto puffs. That "experiment" ranked up there as one of my favorite "science" experiments.
  • Gary 2012-01-06 11:29
    FuckYou#4Teen!

    Captcha is "dolor" for the pain....
  • Daniel Smedegaard Buus 2012-01-06 11:35
    Well, to those arguing about kCals vs. cals, believe you me, this is not just me being unable to read the display. 5 avocados, apparently, is the most fatty meal Noom knows about.

    The picture posted only show the "congrats" page, another interesting snapshot would be the google maps page it displays that shows me travelling from Copenhagen to somewhere in Africa at several thousand kilometers per hour.

    I'm not sure if it's just my particular phone being broken (my girlfriend's HTC doesn't do this with Noom) or the entire Galaxy S2 line, but it definitely calculates calories as being whatever equals about 45 cals per 100ml of orange juice, so do your calculus based on that ;)
  • Steve The Cynic 2012-01-06 11:46
    Anketam:
    In my class we burned cheeto puffs. That "experiment" ranked up there as one of my favorite "science" experiments.

    My favorites were actually "magic show" style demonstrations rather than stuff we did.

    1. In a British secondary school (the same one as the peanut incident, the following year) in the late 70s, a Tate & Lyle[1] Golden Syrup tin full of natural gas, with a hole in the bottom and another in the lid. Open both holes, and light the top hole, making sure that air can get in through the bottom hole.

    You watch this, and you see the flame start out tall, flickery and yellow. It gets gradually lower and bluer as air mixes in with the gas from below. After a couple of minutes, during which time the teacher continues to babble on about something so the class doesn't notice the tin, enough air has mixed in with the gas inside the tin that the flame-front rushes through the tin all of a sudden, and the lid bounces off the ceiling.

    2. The annual "physics magic show" to entertain prospective students foolish enough to express an interest in spending their student years at RPI, an electromagnet, and some aluminium rings.

    The ring with a gap buzzes a bit when electricity is passed through the coils round the electromagnet.

    The complete ring leaps a couple of feet into the air when it's at room temperature.

    The assistant brings out some liquid nitrogen and dunks the complete ring, and now the resistance of the ring is low enough that it hits the ceiling hard, thirty feet up.

    [1] Tate & Lyle, supplier of sugar, syrups and the like to British supermarkets for a long time. The only company I know of whose logo features a dead lion. I live and work in France, and one of their research centres is in the building next door to my office.
  • Daniel Smedegaard Buus 2012-01-06 11:47
    Actually, for reference, here's a snapshot of a more recent history item. Apparently, I jumped up to Norway before landing in Algeria. If only this workout were true I wouldn't have gained 8 pounds this christmas...

    http://postimage.org/image/g14jd1tlh/
  • Beavis 2012-01-06 11:52
    "They really, deep down in the cockles of your heart, wanted me to write down my password, right?"
    Heheheeheehh hhehe heehhhheeheh you said "cockles"
  • Steve The Cynic 2012-01-06 11:56
    Daniel Smedegaard Buus:
    but it definitely calculates calories as being whatever equals about 45 cals per 100ml of orange juice, so do your calculus based on that ;)

    That's about right for the number of kcals in OJ, actually.
  • Daniel Smedegaard Buus 2012-01-06 12:01
    Exactly :) So the unit isn't cals, but kCals. This is the first time I've heard about a difference, btw. I mean, I knew about kJ, but I didn't know that cals came in different sizes :)
  • Lorens 2012-01-06 12:15
    Steve The Cynic:
    did you know that French uses the same word, 'avocat' for both 'avocado' and 'lawyer'? No, I didn't either.

    I take it you have no experience being the devil's advocate?
  • Pim 2012-01-06 12:22
    But I haven't heard any of you remark that the avocado one has 279833 calories on top and 279833 Cal on the bottom. So how much did Daniel "Smedegaard" Buus burn?

    By the way, what kind of nickname is that? Nicknames are supposed to clarify things!
    You know, like John "The Nose" Doe. So that you know who it is. Ahh, yeah, him.
    But this, this doesn't clarify things; it makes it murkier if anything.
  • Daniel Smedegaard Buus 2012-01-06 12:27
    Well, now that everyone is attentant anyway - and that's not a nick, by the way - check out this WTF from yesterday:

    https://plus.google.com/u/0/112343154750245199729/posts//p/pub

    It's not so much that it's a Windows PC complaining about having crashed before being booted, it's more that apparently, there's one Windows PC per monitor on this subway station. WTF?!?!?
  • Your Mom's Name 2012-01-06 12:35
    password = "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ"

    Don't need Cryllic support until they bump the requirements to two alphabets
  • Pim 2012-01-06 12:36
    Don't blame me; the article had "Smedegaard" in quotes!

    Anyway, Google doesn't want me to visit your page. It says it can't recognise the name of my browser and then directs me to a page where I can download Internet Explorer. As if that would help, being as I'm on Linux.
  • Daniel Smedegaard Buus 2012-01-06 12:39
    Don't blame you, I wondered about it too :)

    Don't understand how Google does links, maybe this one is better:

    https://plus.google.com/112343154750245199729/posts
  • Daniel Smedegaard Buus 2012-01-06 12:40
    FWIW, I'm on Kubuntu 11.10 :)
  • GEDCOM? 2012-01-06 12:43
    PeterH:
    If your password must be exactly 14 characters long and still contain one alphabet, I would recommend the Hawaiian language http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_language


    ... although it might be a bit tricky finding a keyboard with the appropriate 'glottal stop' key.


    If you're going to reference Hawaiian, at least use the proper name. Olelo is the name of the alphabet, and `okina is the correct name for what you called "glottal stop". You also failed to mention the kahako - a combining macron which affects both pronunciation and meaning of words. Unfortunately these two letters are absent from most fonts. The `okina is often approximated through either an apostrophe or back-tick, while some people use a tilde instead of the kahako.

    Now try the name of our former state fish: humuhumunukunukuapua`a.
  • da Doctah 2012-01-06 13:05
    dgvid:
    The error message in Times Square is at least an improvement over the grungy, low-class signs I remember seeing there in the early 80s. Things like:
    XXX
    and
    Burlesque (or often Boylesque)
    and
    Your hooker has encountered a problem and must be restarted.



    ITYM "Your hooker has performed an illegal operation."
  • Anon 2012-01-06 13:28
    dgvid:
    I was going to speculate that the calories were displayed in the calorie unit used in science rather than the kilocalorie


    Science uses Joules not calories.

  • Anon 2012-01-06 13:31
    Steve The Cynic:

    Bizarre coincidence time: did you know that French uses the same word, 'avocat' for both 'avocado' and 'lawyer'? No, I didn't either.


    Did you know that the English use the same word, "Dear" for both a term of endearment (as in frankly my dear, I don't give a damn) and a woodland creature that rednecks like to shoot?

    Hilarious!
  • Spewin Coffee 2012-01-06 13:46
    '"As you might expect, this came from a government website," Steve wrote, "which may explain why it was vague and unhelpful."'

    The government is generally vague and unhelpful. SOPA is a case in point. Too soon?
  • Jay 2012-01-06 13:56
    At first I thought the reference to coming from a government web site was talking about the calories vs kilocalories. Which sounded exactly like what I'd expect from the government: Did we spend a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Whatever, doesn't matter.

    Back when I used to work for the government, co-workers would occasionally point out that something was a big waste of time and money. And I developed a stock response: I'd always say, "Don't worry, it's not like it's real money. It's only tax dollars."
  • Steve (NOT the Cynic) 2012-01-06 14:10
    The woodland creature that rednecks like to shoot is spelled Deer, not Dear. Not so hilarious now, is it?

    CAPTCHA: valetudo, as in, "Valet, you do this for me".
  • dgvid 2012-01-06 14:10
    Anon:
    dgvid:
    I was going to speculate that the calories were displayed in the calorie unit used in science rather than the kilocalorie


    Science uses Joules not calories.


    *sigh* Yes, yes, yes.
    The calorie is a pre-SI metric unit of energy. It was first defined by Nicolas Clément in 1824 as a unit of heat, entering French and English dictionaries between 1841 and 1867. In most fields its use is archaic, having been replaced by the SI unit of energy, the joule. However, in many countries it remains in common use as a unit of food energy.

    From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calorie. (Scroll down to see the formula for converting between joules and avocados.)
  • ochrist 2012-01-06 14:15
    Daniel Smedegaard Buus:

    The picture posted only show the "congrats" page, another interesting snapshot would be the google maps page it displays that shows me travelling from Copenhagen to somewhere in Africa at several thousand kilometers per hour.

    I'm not sure if it's just my particular phone being broken (my girlfriend's HTC doesn't do this with Noom) or the entire Galaxy S2 line, but it definitely calculates calories as being whatever equals about 45 cals per 100ml of orange juice, so do your calculus based on that ;)


    I have the exact same problem with CardioTrainer on my Galaxy. It often showed me running to Africa and home in a few minutes (I too live close to Copenhagen). The company behind the app claims this is due to a 'pretty unreliable signal':
    https://sites.google.com/a/worksmartlabs.com/help-center/cardiotrainer/gps

    I stopped using the app, and Googles own My Tracks is much more precise on the exact same hardware. Go figure!
  • wonk 2012-01-06 14:32
    da Doctah:
    dgvid:
    The error message in Times Square is at least an improvement over the grungy, low-class signs I remember seeing there in the early 80s. Things like:
    XXX
    and
    Burlesque (or often Boylesque)
    and
    Your hooker has encountered a problem and must be restarted.



    ITYM "Your hooker has performed an illegal operation."


    Are you kidding? That's what I paid her for in the first place. ;-)
  • Matt Westwood 2012-01-06 14:59
    Steve The Cynic:
    Anketam:
    In my class we burned cheeto puffs. That "experiment" ranked up there as one of my favorite "science" experiments.

    My favorites were actually "magic show" style demonstrations rather than stuff we did.

    1. In a British secondary school (the same one as the peanut incident, the following year) in the late 70s, a Tate & Lyle[1] Golden Syrup tin full of natural gas, with a hole in the bottom and another in the lid. Open both holes, and light the top hole, making sure that air can get in through the bottom hole.

    You watch this, and you see the flame start out tall, flickery and yellow. It gets gradually lower and bluer as air mixes in with the gas from below. After a couple of minutes, during which time the teacher continues to babble on about something so the class doesn't notice the tin, enough air has mixed in with the gas inside the tin that the flame-front rushes through the tin all of a sudden, and the lid bounces off the ceiling.

    2. The annual "physics magic show" to entertain prospective students foolish enough to express an interest in spending their student years at RPI, an electromagnet, and some aluminium rings.

    The ring with a gap buzzes a bit when electricity is passed through the coils round the electromagnet.

    The complete ring leaps a couple of feet into the air when it's at room temperature.

    The assistant brings out some liquid nitrogen and dunks the complete ring, and now the resistance of the ring is low enough that it hits the ceiling hard, thirty feet up.

    [1] Tate & Lyle, supplier of sugar, syrups and the like to British supermarkets for a long time. The only company I know of whose logo features a dead lion. I live and work in France, and one of their research centres is in the building next door to my office.


    Not only is the lion dead, but it has insects buzzing around a great big hole in its belly.

    "Out of the eater came something to eat, out of the strong came something sweet."
  • Nageshhasntbeenfunnyforyears 2012-01-06 15:32
    Matt Westwood:

    Not only is the lion dead, but it has insects buzzing around a great big hole in its belly.

    "Out of the eater came something to eat, out of the strong came something sweet."


    I'd really like to see this if you can find an image, it looks like their current logo is just their name in a big block font.
  • EvanED 2012-01-06 15:32
    Lorens:
    Steve The Cynic:
    did you know that French uses the same word, 'avocat' for both 'avocado' and 'lawyer'? No, I didn't either.

    I take it you have no experience being the devil's advocate?

    Huh, interesting observation. But you don't even need to go that far... what does any lawyer do? Advocate.

    The online etymology dictionary says, for avocado, "1763, from Sp. avocado, altered (by folk etymology influence of earlier Sp. avocado "lawyer," from same Latin source as advocate) from earlier aguacate".
  • Language Nerd 2012-01-06 15:50
    According to the interwebs, (and yes, I knew this before I looked up a reference) Avocado comes from a mesoamerican word for testicle[1] which happened to sound a lot like the spanish word for lawyer to the conquistadors.


    [1] http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=avocado
  • Pim 2012-01-06 16:35
    Nageshhasntbeenfunnyforyears:
    Matt Westwood:

    Not only is the lion dead, but it has insects buzzing around a great big hole in its belly.

    "Out of the eater came something to eat, out of the strong came something sweet."


    I'd really like to see this if you can find an image, it looks like their current logo is just their name in a big block font.

    Next time you try to find something on the internet, use a search engine.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/20/Lyle'sGoldenSyrup.jpg

    Addendum (2012-01-06 16:41):
    Ooh, this one is much better.
    It even has an audio track saying "WTF"!
    http://feelingmyage.co.uk/tag/lyles-golden-syrup/


    Addendum (2012-01-06 16:42):
    Ooh, this one is much better.
    It even has an audio track saying "WTF"!
    http://feelingmyage.co.uk/tag/lyles-golden-syrup/


    Addendum (2012-01-06 16:44):
    Crud, I can only add, not edit. Oh well.
  • Coyne 2012-01-06 16:50
    We detected an Error which may have occurred for one or more of the following reasons:

    Error invoking service '<?>', method '<?>' at step '<?>' (SBL-BPR-00162)


    That is just so darned verbose. I would have used a much shorter message that tells exactly the same thing:

    Error? (SBL-BPR-00162)

  • Tud 2012-01-06 17:13
    I hate absurd password requirements. If I ever had to create a password for something important, and that message popped out, I'd find out where the programmer of that thing lived, and send him a complaint letter. Yes, an actual letter, printed in paper and sent by mail. I'm 100% serious.
  • Matt Westwood 2012-01-06 17:42
    Nageshhasntbeenfunnyforyears:
    Matt Westwood:

    Not only is the lion dead, but it has insects buzzing around a great big hole in its belly.

    "Out of the eater came something to eat, out of the strong came something sweet."


    I'd really like to see this if you can find an image, it looks like their current logo is just their name in a big block font.


    Someone else has found some better images than the one I found.

    We bought a container of it the other week, as an ingredient for confectionery for some pagan festival my handfasting partner wanted to celebrate. And it's still got that dead lion on it.
  • Robert Claypool 2012-01-06 18:34
    Oddly enough, the first 5 words of the .hack//SIGN opening song contains exactly 14 letters.
  • Robert Claypool 2012-01-06 18:39
    Oops, the first 4 words. The 5 word phrase "how come I must go" further along in the song contains 14 letters too.
  • Robert Claypool 2012-01-06 18:43
    Let's try this one more time...
    If you play the video at http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/hacksign/obsession.htm it starts off with "how come I must go", but if you read it, it starts off with "deep in the night"
  • herby 2012-01-06 21:47
    Steve The Cynic:

    Bizarre coincidence time: did you know that French uses the same word, 'avocat' for both 'avocado' and 'lawyer'? No, I didn't either.

    Yes, and they are BOTH slimy things that I avoid!
  • chrismcb 2012-01-06 22:31
    Jeff:
    The Deal of the Day is not a WTF. The glasses cost $50, but the coupon's value is $25, so you only pay the other $25, saving 50%.


    Where do you get the impression the glasses cost $50?
    The text says "$25 for a $50 Deal Certificate Towards the Purchases of a Complete Pair of Eyeglasses..." This implies the Eyeglasses cost MORE than $50. And that you are purchasing a $50 gift certificate for $25.
    The WTF is the Value and Cost prices are reversed.
    TRWTF is the inability to read.
  • Someone 2012-01-06 23:45
    #2 is not a WTF.
    We don't know if you did indeed enter an alphabet. TRWTF is that you did not submit the password, and expected us to just trust your statement that you did indeed enter a letter.

    FFT: Why would you hide your password anyway?
    1. We don't see your username.
    2. We don't know the website.
    3. We don't care about your account.
  • mroshaw 2012-01-07 04:05
    My guess is that SBL-BPR-00162 is an Oracle Siebel CRM BI Publisher integration error. Seems pretty obvious to me.
  • Marcin 2012-01-07 05:00
    TRWTF is any geek who would publicly display an ignorance of units.
  • jc 2012-01-07 08:47
    The slide show one reminds me of a definition of conservatism that I've seen several variants on: Conservatives believe that we should never do anything for the first time; we should only do things the same way we have done them before.

    (I once saw a list of such definitions for various political "belief systems", each one making its followers look equally silly and irrational. Now what were some of the others? ...)
  • Luiz Felipe 2012-01-07 10:26
    Spewin Coffee:
    '"As you might expect, this came from a government website," Steve wrote, "which may explain why it was vague and unhelpful."'

    The government is generally vague and unhelpful. SOPA is a case in point. Too soon?


    Here in brazil we have zero alchool law. You see what happen, everyone continue to drive alcoolized like nothing was wrong, just same as before, nothing changes because of some shity law.
  • Luiz Felipe 2012-01-07 10:31
    mroshaw:
    My guess is that SBL-BPR-00162 is an Oracle Siebel CRM BI Publisher integration error. Seems pretty obvious to me.

    Fucking Oracle with fucking nebulous error codes, pretty obvios, noone will will think otherway.
  • Tomalak Geret'kal 2012-01-07 11:16
    You'd think someone who actually lives and works in NYC and hates tourists would know what Times Square is called.
  • Loren Pechtel 2012-01-07 11:19
    I think I know what really happened with the calorie bit: The phone probably didn't have working GPS for some reason at some point and got fooled by a WiFi router that got moved. This produced an insane distance and an insane number of calories.

    The program also contained a list of food equivalents to calories and 5 avocados is the biggest item in the list.


    As for can only view slides you have already viewed--the person is looking at a presentation controlled by someone else and they aren't allowed to peek ahead.
  • AndyC 2012-01-07 11:42
    Daniel Smedegaard Buus:
    Well, now that everyone is attentant anyway - and that's not a nick, by the way - check out this WTF from yesterday:

    https://plus.google.com/u/0/112343154750245199729/posts//p/pub

    It's not so much that it's a Windows PC complaining about having crashed before being booted, it's more that apparently, there's one Windows PC per monitor on this subway station. WTF?!?!?


    Not that surprising, they're usually all-in-one units and it's usually a lot easier that way than trying to configure multi-head arrangements with video cabling all over the place.

    Putting pictures on google+ is TRWTF here.
  • fs 2012-01-07 14:52
    "and must be retarted."
  • yername 2012-01-07 17:55
    Steve The Cynic:
    The edible parts of an avocado are rated about 160kcal per 100g, so, yes, 280kcal per five avocados is a bit light.

    So, the poster didn't know about the calorie/kilocalorie thing and the app author forgot to do the joule => calorie conversion?
  • moz 2012-01-07 22:54
    whiskeylover:
    Will:
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.

    If Alex did decide to implement a rule like that one day, and sent everyone trying to post incompatible messages Akismet responses, how long d'you think it'd take before anyone noticed?
  • Synchronos 2012-01-08 03:15
    All these comments about calories and Calories (<sarcasm>why don't we invent a new unit, like scalories, for scientific calories, when we already have kibibytes</sarcasm>), and not a single one for Cary not knowing the difference between alphabet and Latin alphabet? Guess what, the Cyrillic alphabet are also alphabet. They even start with their respective versions of alpha and beta. Same goes for the runic script.
  • Me 2012-01-08 11:13
    Aye. Submitter is not especially familiar with SI units and now s/he and Alex are displaying their "intelligence".
  • Pim 2012-01-08 11:35
    yername:
    So, the poster didn't know about the calorie/kilocalorie thing and the app author forgot to do the joule => calorie conversion?

    Ooh, you're almost right!

    The poster was posting about how funny it was to express calories in avocados. "Oh yeah, I burned 5 avocados today", that's funny, see? So the WTF was not that the poster didn't know shit about food.

    The real WTF is, as was repeated many times in the comments, that the app doesn't know the difference between "279883 calories" and "279883 Cal", as it has both in the same output and it doesn't realize that this is meaningless.
    Aanother WTF, as we found out later, is that 279 Cal doesn't come close to being 5 avocados.

    Also, everybody in the world expresses energy in food as Calories, so it's not a WTF if they don't express the energy in joules. Quite the contrary in fact: if it would only be expressed in joules without mentioning Cals, people wouldn't know what it meant.
    So it's a WTF that you want to see the energy in food expressed in joules. And another WTF that you meant "calorie => joule" but you said "joule => calorie". And that you didn't read all the comments before posting. And that you concluded, without any evidence, that the poster didn't know about kilocalories being Calories. And that you don't know how to spell "your".
  • asrtgg3 2012-01-08 15:57
    Steve The Cynic:
    There are calories, about 4.2 Joules each, representing the energy to heat one gram of water by one degree C.

    There are Calories, also called kilocalories or kcal, exactly 1000 calories. (Yes, boys and girl, a Calorie is 1000 calories.)

    There are not kCal, and if there were, they would be called Mcal, because they would be kilokilocalories, better known as megacalories.

    The edible parts of an avocado are rated about 160kcal per 100g, so, yes, 280kcal per five avocados is a bit light.

    Bizarre coincidence time: did you know that French uses the same word, 'avocat' for both 'avocado' and 'lawyer'? No, I didn't either.
    Who would've guessed that an advocate and an avocado would be similar in some language. Unbelieve!!!
  • Comic Book Guy 2012-01-08 16:01
    Steve The Cynic:
    Bort:
    I like that all the spergs are tripping over themselves to smugly post "1 Calorie = 1000 calories" even though nobody in the entire universe has ever used the small "calories" when talking about food.

    IT is a industry that attracts pedants. So you get comments by pedants on a site like TDWTF, there's a surprise. In your language, I guess, the word for "pedant" is "sperg". Which language is that?
    I'm more surprised that Computer Nerds would actually know something about calories (or Calories, or whatever).
  • Comic Book Guy 2012-01-08 16:17
    GEDCOM?:
    PeterH:
    If your password must be exactly 14 characters long and still contain one alphabet, I would recommend the Hawaiian language http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_language


    ... although it might be a bit tricky finding a keyboard with the appropriate 'glottal stop' key.


    If you're going to reference Hawaiian, at least use the proper name. Olelo is the name of the alphabet, and `okina is the correct name for what you called "glottal stop". You also failed to mention the kahako - a combining macron which affects both pronunciation and meaning of words. Unfortunately these two letters are absent from most fonts. The `okina is often approximated through either an apostrophe or back-tick, while some people use a tilde instead of the kahako.

    Now try the name of our former state fish: humuhumunukunukuapua`a.

    Only 13 chars there....

    Totally aside, someone once told me (not sure if this is true or not) there's no 'P' in Pidgin....Given they were talking about Papua New Guinea (so I assume they mean Tok Pisin - which definitely has a 'p' in almost all the examples on wikipedia {that which never lies}) they must have been talking shit.

    Mi pinisim stori nau
  • Lynette 2012-01-08 16:19
    Steve (NOT the Cynic):
    The woodland creature that rednecks like to shoot is spelled Deer, not Dear. Not so hilarious now, is it?

    CAPTCHA: valetudo, as in, "Valet, you do this for me".

    Let's try again....
    "Bear" = carry a burden or load
    "Bear" = creature what be shitting in the woods.
  • Gerome 2012-01-08 16:23
    Steve The Cynic:
    Anketam:
    In my class we burned cheeto puffs. That "experiment" ranked up there as one of my favorite "science" experiments.

    My favorites were actually "magic show" style demonstrations rather than stuff we did.

    1. In a British secondary school (the same one as the peanut incident, the following year) in the late 70s, a Tate & Lyle[1] Golden Syrup tin full of natural gas, with a hole in the bottom and another in the lid. Open both holes, and light the top hole, making sure that air can get in through the bottom hole.

    You watch this, and you see the flame start out tall, flickery and yellow. It gets gradually lower and bluer as air mixes in with the gas from below. After a couple of minutes, during which time the teacher continues to babble on about something so the class doesn't notice the tin, enough air has mixed in with the gas inside the tin that the flame-front rushes through the tin all of a sudden, and the lid bounces off the ceiling.

    2. The annual "physics magic show" to entertain prospective students foolish enough to express an interest in spending their student years at RPI, an electromagnet, and some aluminium rings.

    The ring with a gap buzzes a bit when electricity is passed through the coils round the electromagnet.

    The complete ring leaps a couple of feet into the air when it's at room temperature.

    The assistant brings out some liquid nitrogen and dunks the complete ring, and now the resistance of the ring is low enough that it hits the ceiling hard, thirty feet up.

    [1] Tate & Lyle, supplier of sugar, syrups and the like to British supermarkets for a long time. The only company I know of whose logo features a dead lion. I live and work in France, and one of their research centres is in the building next door to my office.

    Hooray for Steve Spangle!!
  • memememe 2012-01-08 16:25
    Language Nerd:
    According to the interwebs, (and yes, I knew this before I looked up a reference) Avocado comes from a mesoamerican word for testicle[1] which happened to sound a lot like the spanish word for lawyer to the conquistadors.


    [1] http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=avocado
    Very appropriate - all Lawyers are Balls!! Oh wait, balls are useful....
  • Jim Carey 2012-01-08 16:28
    Someone:
    #2 is not a WTF.
    We don't know if you did indeed enter an alphabet. TRWTF is that you did not submit the password, and expected us to just trust your statement that you did indeed enter a letter.

    FFT: Why would you hide your password anyway?
    1. We don't see your username.
    2. We don't know the website.
    3. We don't care about your account.

    1) Carey69
    2) www.hookersonline.com
    3) Can't help with that one....

    Now have I justified obscuring my password (which FTR was actually done by the site I was using)
  • zom 2012-01-08 16:31
    moz:
    whiskeylover:
    Will:
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.

    If Alex did decide to implement a rule like that one day, and sent everyone trying to post incompatible messages Akismet responses, how long d'you think it'd take before anyone noticed?
    HE sent that memo out last week dude....get up wuith the times!!!
  • Scoldog 2012-01-08 19:58
    Maybe its below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle area, maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys, maybe even in the colon. We don't know…
  • imMute 2012-01-08 20:54
    TRWTF with that digital billboard isn't necessarily the QT popup; IMO, TRWTF with that is the uncalibrated blocky-ness of the individual modules of the display!
  • Nick 2012-01-09 00:50
    Steve The Cynic:
    Anketam:
    In my class we burned cheeto puffs. That "experiment" ranked up there as one of my favorite "science" experiments.

    My favorites were actually "magic show" style demonstrations rather than stuff we did.
    In year 10 physics one day, we are talking about metal reactions and the teacher goes "you all know what happens when you heat magnesium aluminium alloy, right?" The whole class as one, goes "Noo?". Next day we come in and he's got conical flask boiling away on top of a Bunsen burner and another Bunsen burner running next to it. He pulls out a metal pencil sharpener and starts heating it over the burner with tongs, once it's nice and hot he drops it in the boiling water. FOOOOM! a white flash shoots out the top of the flask, burns through the diffuser on the light on the ceiling and shatters the globe.

    He also blew up hydrogen balloons. Best science teacher I ever had.
  • razvangry 2012-01-09 02:26
    279883 cal = 279.883 kcal
    so 280 kcal which is very correct
  • TrXtR 2012-01-09 03:25
    Rather take the walk, eating that many avocado's might not be the best idea.
  • Severity One 2012-01-09 03:36
    Anon:
    Steve The Cynic:

    Bizarre coincidence time: did you know that French uses the same word, 'avocat' for both 'avocado' and 'lawyer'? No, I didn't either.


    Did you know that the English use the same word, "Dear" for both a term of endearment (as in frankly my dear, I don't give a damn) and a woodland creature that rednecks like to shoot?

    Hilarious!

    Last time I checked, Bambi (known as 'bang bang' in the more rural parts of the USA) was a deer, not a dear (except maybe to its mother).
  • Severity One 2012-01-09 03:44
    hans:
    Steve The Cynic:


    Bizarre coincidence time: did you know that French uses the same word, 'avocat' for both 'avocado' and 'lawyer'? No, I didn't either.

    The dutch word for that lawyer is 'advocaat', which is also a dutch word for a 'drink' (you need a spoon) that's similar to egg-nogg.

    The Dutch 'drink' (sold in bottles, but you need to eat it with a spoon, or put it on cake) is made with eggs, brandy, condensed milk, sugar and an E-number colourant to make it more yellow.

    Apparently, 'advocaatpeer' (lawyer's pear) is an alternative phrase for avocado, at least according to Wikipedia, although I've never hear of it before.

    Again according to Wikipedia, the word avocado comes from the Nahuatl word 'ahuácatl', which means, um, testicle.

    I think I'll get back to programming.
  • dkf 2012-01-09 04:29
    Severity One:
    The Dutch 'drink' (sold in bottles, but you need to eat it with a spoon, or put it on cake) is made with eggs, brandy, condensed milk, sugar and an E-number colourant to make it more yellow.
    The thickness depends on the brand; the higher the alcohol content, the less thick the drink tends to be (while also being a little bit harsher too). It's also great on pancakes with some ice cream. Like custard, but for post-teens.
  • Mr Clever Ideas 2012-01-09 05:42
    Steve The Cynic:
    Bort:
    I like that all the spergs are tripping over themselves to smugly post "1 Calorie = 1000 calories" even though nobody in the entire universe has ever used the small "calories" when talking about food.

    Well, there was the "science" "experiment" we did at school once (back when setting fire to food was considered acceptable in school science classes). About 5ml of water and a thermometer in a test tube, and a peanut as heat source. Result: the water received about 400 calories, i.e. 0.4 Calories, of heat energy. And we discussed it in those terms when we wrote it up.

    But what do I know, anyway?


    As I recall, when you burn a peanut most of the energy gets released as smell.:-|
  • markfiend 2012-01-09 06:00
    TRWTF is no-one pointing out that Tate & Lyle's lion-based logo is from the Bible. In the story of Samson, Samson kills a lion, then notices later that bees are nesting in its corpse. The riddle "Out of the eater came something to eat, out of the strong came something sweet" is part of Judges 14:14

    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges+14&version=CEB
  • Your Name Here 2012-01-09 06:55
    Yes, usually when people use calorie, they mean kcal (kilo calorie). The 280000 calories, would be 280kcal, roughly 60kcal per avocade which is not much. Not really a WTF.
  • The Great Lobachevsky 2012-01-09 08:49
    Steve The Cynic:
    Bort:
    I like that all the spergs are tripping over themselves to smugly post "1 Calorie = 1000 calories" even though nobody in the entire universe has ever used the small "calories" when talking about food.

    Well, there was the "science" "experiment" we did at school once (back when setting fire to food was considered acceptable in school science classes). About 5ml of water and a thermometer in a test tube, and a peanut as heat source. Result: the water received about 400 calories, i.e. 0.4 Calories, of heat energy. And we discussed it in those terms when we wrote it up.

    But what do I know, anyway?


    Also, it was back when peanuts in any context were acceptable in school. Now they are lethal weapons.
  • cappeca 2012-01-09 10:00
    Luiz Felipe:
    Spewin Coffee:
    '"As you might expect, this came from a government website," Steve wrote, "which may explain why it was vague and unhelpful."'

    The government is generally vague and unhelpful. SOPA is a case in point. Too soon?


    Here in brazil we have zero alchool law. You see what happen, everyone continue to drive alcoolized like nothing was wrong, just same as before, nothing changes because of some shity law.


    Yeah, well, except when they get busted on a roadblock and lose their driving license for good, which I see happening pretty much every weekend.

    Here in Brazil, the words for avocado and lawyer are "abacate" and "advogado" respectively. They have nothing to do with each other.
  • linepro 2012-01-09 10:32
    dkf:
    Severity One:
    The Dutch 'drink' (sold in bottles, but you need to eat it with a spoon, or put it on cake) is made with eggs, brandy, condensed milk, sugar and an E-number colourant to make it more yellow.
    The thickness depends on the brand; the higher the alcohol content, the less thick the drink tends to be (while also being a little bit harsher too). It's also great on pancakes with some ice cream. Like custard, but for post-teens.


    TRWTF calling Advocaat great....
  • Jan 2012-01-09 18:21
    Dude....:
    Anketam:
    whiskeylover:
    Will:
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.
    You may only post comments that have already been posted.

    You may only post comments that have already been posted.

    You may only make jokes that have already been made.
  • Pim 2012-01-10 03:15
    Is it me, or are people on this site getting more and more illiterate?
  • Luiz Felipe 2012-01-10 05:24
    cappeca:
    Luiz Felipe:
    Spewin Coffee:
    '"As you might expect, this came from a government website," Steve wrote, "which may explain why it was vague and unhelpful."'

    The government is generally vague and unhelpful. SOPA is a case in point. Too soon?


    Here in brazil we have zero alchool law. You see what happen, everyone continue to drive alcoolized like nothing was wrong, just same as before, nothing changes because of some shity law.


    Yeah, well, except when they get busted on a roadblock and lose their driving license for good, which I see happening pretty much every weekend.

    Here in Brazil, the words for avocado and lawyer are "abacate" and "advogado" respectively. They have nothing to do with each other.


    Yea, but people generaly aggree with the law. But when downloading, noone think that is doing a wrong thing. Wheel, if you take this in account, will see pretty much everyone will be busted for downloading things if SOPA is aproved. There is no jail for 70% of population.

    abacate = avocate
    advogado = avocado
    Almost certainly likely.
  • Santa Claus 2012-01-10 13:42
    Daniel Smedegaard Buus:

    The picture posted only show the "congrats" page, another interesting snapshot would be the google maps page it displays that shows me travelling from Copenhagen to somewhere in Africa at several thousand kilometers per hour.


    Yes, around this time of year Google Maps often shows me travelling from Europe to Africa at several thousand miles per hour, with frequent stops.
  • Santa Claus 2012-01-10 13:54
    markfiend:
    TRWTF is no-one pointing out that Tate & Lyle's lion-based logo is from the Bible. In the story of Samson, Samson kills a lion, then notices later that bees are nesting in its corpse. The riddle "Out of the eater came something to eat, out of the strong came something sweet" is part of Judges 14:14

    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges+14&version=CEB


    Fortunately, whoever came up with that logo didn't read just a few pages further and make a logo basedon Judges 19:29.
  • Jay 2012-01-10 13:59
    Surely the real WTFs are:

    (1) Somebody inventing two units of measurement whose names differ only in capitalization, and others agreeing to use this.

    (2) Someone using a unit of measurement whose name looks just like that of the unit of measurement commonly used to measure the quantity under discussion, and others than ridiculing people who find this confusing. Like, "This car gets over 40 miles per gallon. ... Well, OF COURSE I meant Roman miles, which are shorter than modern American miles. If you didn't realize that you are obviously a moron." Or "Yes, we said the product is is guaranteed to last for 10 years. But we meant Mercurian years, which are 88 Earth-days long. So I'm sorry, your guarantee is long since expired."
  • GEDCOM? 2012-01-10 17:06
    Comic Book Guy:
    Totally aside, someone once told me (not sure if this is true or not) there's no 'P' in Pidgin....Given they were talking about Papua New Guinea (so I assume they mean Tok Pisin - which definitely has a 'p' in almost all the examples on wikipedia {that which never lies}) they must have been talking shit.

    Mi pinisim stori nau


    Pau hana is (Hawaiian) Pidgin for quitting time. Pordagee is someone who lacks common sense. pilau is messy. There's definitely the letter "p" in Hawaiian Creole English.
  • YourName 2012-01-17 15:15
    Jeff:
    The Deal of the Day is not a WTF. The glasses cost $50, but the coupon's value is $25, so you only pay the other $25, saving 50%.

    I like the kneeling girl, however. Sure, her mouth should be open wider. And the glasses should probably come off in case I want to squirt some in her eye.


    The Deal of the day states....
    Coupon value=$25
    Coupon cost=$50
    Therefore you are paying $50 for a coupon worth only $25.
  • Angel Avery 2012-01-17 16:42
    The password one really got to me.

    My university insist on adding a new requirement everytime I have to change my password, which is like 3 times a year.

    Also, I once did not sign up for a website because it required a special character.
  • Christian Rosjat 2012-01-18 05:03
    1000 calories are one kcal(kilo calories)
    and 279.883 kcal is not that much.

    I use ~1800kcal per day.
  • A Nonny Mouse 2012-01-22 08:26
    I can heartily recommend Lawyers with French Dressing. They taste so much better than lawyers with cross-dressing, and are less calories than lawyers with thousand island dressing.
  • A Nonny Mouse 2012-01-22 08:37
    I suspect the concepts "lawyer" and "testicle" are closely connected in most people's minds, regardless of language or nationality.
  • UnStandard 2012-02-15 11:42
    Mr Clever Ideas:
    Steve The Cynic:
    Bort:
    I like that all the spergs are tripping over themselves to smugly post "1 Calorie = 1000 calories" even though nobody in the entire universe has ever used the small "calories" when talking about food.

    Well, there was the "science" "experiment" we did at school once (back when setting fire to food was considered acceptable in school science classes). About 5ml of water and a thermometer in a test tube, and a peanut as heat source. Result: the water received about 400 calories, i.e. 0.4 Calories, of heat energy. And we discussed it in those terms when we wrote it up.

    But what do I know, anyway?


    As I recall, when you burn a peanut most of the energy gets released as smell.:-|


    Under 33 atm of oxygen in a bomb calorimeter a peanut is completely consumed once ignited electronically. No ash, no smoke, nothing remains. Near perfectly complete combustion. I forget my answer, but it was correct (obtained by measuring the temperature increase of the water bath the bomb calorimeter was placed in).

    Combustion products depend entirely on combustion conditions.