Does Not Compute: Rodents, Dendro-computing, and More

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  • Sad Bug Killer 2012-07-19 11:20
    rodnts, rabbits, frists, whatvr...
  • Anketam 2012-07-19 11:28
    The laptop battery issue is a very logical conclusion, if you assume it works like any other battery, not realizing it is a rechargable battery.
  • Code Slave 2012-07-19 11:31
    I don't know about that last one. My keyboard doesn't have an "OK" button or an "Any" key.
  • The Great Lobachevsky 2012-07-19 11:32
    I'll have to remember that 'E' one - I think it could be useful when dealing with my family.
  • ezacharyk 2012-07-19 11:50
    "Our rabbit died."

    Well, congratulations! What do you want, a boy or a girl?
  • Coyne 2012-07-19 11:50
    Ummm....yeah...I'm having trouble with the rabbit attached to my reckoning thingie; and I can't twiddle the marker on the glowy pictury thing that has all the appliance thingies I use to do my tally stabs. Can you renovate it?
  • Franky 2012-07-19 11:57
    well, after all you had to call it battery and not accumulator. He was quite right in suspecting that he couldn't charge it. GET YOUR FRIGGIN' LABELS RIGHT!
  • Steve The Cynic 2012-07-19 12:06
    Franky:
    well, after all you had to call it battery and not accumulator. He was quite right in suspecting that he couldn't charge it. GET YOUR FRIGGIN' LABELS RIGHT!

    Yeah, but if he's that technologically deficient, he'll wonder why you're talking about betting on the horses...
  • Ben 2012-07-19 12:07
    Can't help but think that Jim is a doppleganger for Jim from The Office.
  • Nagesh 2012-07-19 12:24
    Rabbits are devices using by female population of America.
  • Nagesh 2012-07-19 12:25
    Oak and Ok common words for much confusion in English language.
  • Maude 2012-07-19 12:28
    -You know Homey, The "E" doesn't work on that typewriter.
    -We don't need no stinkin' "E". Restaurant Review? ... no. Eatery Evaluation? ... no. Food Box: Go or No Go by Homer ... no ... Earl! ... no ... Bill Simpson.
  • pitchingchris 2012-07-19 13:14
    Nagesh:
    Rabbits are devices using by female population of America.


    This is true, but how would a fellow from India know this? Maybe your mom has one ?
  • pedant 2012-07-19 13:22
    rabbits are not rodents
  • Hasse 2012-07-19 13:30
    Anketam:
    The laptop battery issue is a very logical conclusion, if you assume it works like any other battery, not realizing it is a rechargable battery.


    And if rechargable it should be called an accumulator, not battery. As you say batteries are not to be recharged
  • Zylon 2012-07-19 13:40
    pitchingchris:
    Nagesh:
    Rabbits are devices using by female population of America.


    This is true, but how would a fellow from India know this? Maybe your mom has one ?

    Don't feed the boring troll.
  • Jay 2012-07-19 13:52
    My keyboard has only one "e". How am I supposed to type a word like "meet" when there's only one "e" on this silly keyboard?
  • Jeff 2012-07-19 13:58
    I'm sorry sir but the oak buttons are only made from Chinese Oak, which of course comes from China. There should have been one attached to your owner's manual. Do you still have the boxes from when you unpacked your computer? No? Well then let me order you one. It should arrive in about two weeks.
  • Jay 2012-07-19 13:58
    Hasse:
    Anketam:
    The laptop battery issue is a very logical conclusion, if you assume it works like any other battery, not realizing it is a rechargable battery.


    And if rechargable it should be called an accumulator, not battery. As you say batteries are not to be recharged


    Where do you get the idea that the definition of "battery" includes the idea that it cannot be re-charged? Manufacturers have been producing "rechargeable batteries" for as long as I can remember. I own lots of devices that have rechargeable batteries. If there's some technical definition somewhere that defines a battery as not being able to be recharged, well, that's just not the definition used in casual conversation nor by the people who actually make batteries.
  • Willi 2012-07-19 13:59
    I love that he didn't spoil the practical joke of the keyboard that was out of "E"
  • John 2012-07-19 14:02
    pitchingchris:
    Nagesh:
    Rabbits are devices using by female population of America.


    This is true, but how would a fellow from India know this? Maybe your mom has one ?


    Gerbils are better than rabbits.
  • myName 2012-07-19 14:16
    People don't know the names of things. Aren't they funny.
  • alegr 2012-07-19 14:19
    Hasse:

    And if rechargable it should be called an accumulator, not battery. As you say batteries are not to be recharged
    Here in America, everybody calls an accumulator in a car "a battery".
  • Carl 2012-07-19 14:42
    Willi:
    I love that he didn't spoil the practical joke of the keyboard that was out of "E"
    Yes, but now every time she has a problem she's going to expect a new keyboard.

    I inherited just such a customer long ago in the days of COBOL and 9-track tape reels. She would call up rather often and demand that I come with a tape and give her a fresh software load, because her old software was wearing out and causing problems. Turns out the guy before me had come up with this lazy way to get her to stop complaining for a couple weeks at a time, instead of actually looking into the errors and fixing his code.
  • Jaloopa 2012-07-19 14:43
    pedant:
    rabbits are not rodents


    thefreedictionary:
    Any of various mammals of the order Rodentia, such as a mouse, rat, squirrel, or beaver, characterized by large incisors adapted for gnawing or nibbling.


    Sounds like a pretty good definition of a rabbit to me

    http://www.thefreedictionary.com/rodent

    Captcha: erat - virtual rodent
  • Anonymous 2012-07-19 15:00
    Jaloopa:
    pedant:
    rabbits are not rodents


    thefreedictionary:
    Any of various mammals of the order Rodentia, such as a mouse, rat, squirrel, or beaver, characterized by large incisors adapted for gnawing or nibbling.


    Sounds like a pretty good definition of a rabbit to me

    http://www.thefreedictionary.com/rodent

    Captcha: erat - virtual rodent


    As I am very bored right now... since rabbits are not members of the order Rodentia, you have just given the explanation for why they aren't rodents.

    "Rabbits and hares were formerly classified in the order Rodentia (rodent) until 1912, when they were moved into a new order Lagomorpha. This order also includes pikas."

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit#Classifications

    Captcha: populus. Rabbits are very populus...
  • Captcha:nimis 2012-07-19 15:03
    Is Akismet broken? I think Akismet is broken.
  • Captcha:populus 2012-07-19 15:08
    Nope, not broken. Been trying to post this for 10 minutes. Fuck it, I'll post the first half.
    Jaloopa:
    pedant:
    rabbits are not rodents


    thefreedictionary:
    Any of various mammals of the order Rodentia, such as a mouse, rat, squirrel, or beaver, characterized by large incisors adapted for gnawing or nibbling.


    Sounds like a pretty good definition of a rabbit to me

    http://www.thefreedictionary.com/rodent

    Captcha: erat - virtual rodent

    Wrong. Let Me Evi That For You: http://evi.com/q/are_rabbits_rodents.


    (Also note: I think the word "rodents" in the article was referring to the mouse, not the rabbit)

    Note 2: Akismet sucks. I passed your fucking captcha didn't I? I pasted a Lorem Ipsum paragraph here but still not letting me. I wrote some filler text. Nope. More filler text. Still nope. Gonna try to use an URL shortener because it's probably that link. Still nope. Let's see if it likes goo.gl better. Nah. I'll make the link more visible? I'll fucking take out the url tags. Happy now?

    I guess I'll have to actually write filler text? I really hope that is enough. Nope, still not. Does it not like the URL? Fuck that shit. AKISMET NO FALSE-POSITIVING! AKISMET NO FALSE-POSITIVING! AKISMET NO FALSE-POSITIVING! Aww man... Still not working
  • Captcha:acsi (is that one new?) 2012-07-19 15:09
    Captcha:populus:
    Nope, not broken. Been trying to post this for 10 minutes. Fuck it, I'll post the first half.

    Nope, sorry, that was the full message. Mybad.
  • KattMan 2012-07-19 15:27
    Press any key to continue, any other to quit.
  • dogmatic 2012-07-19 15:38
    Franky:
    well, after all you had to call it battery and not accumulator. He was quite right in suspecting that he couldn't charge it. GET YOUR FRIGGIN' LABELS RIGHT!


    Nobody calls them accumulators in the states. Here they are called rechargeable batteries. We also call petrol gas and a boot a trunk, etc....
  • da Doctah 2012-07-19 15:49
    Anonymous:
    "Rabbits and hares were formerly classified in the order Rodentia (rodent) until 1912, when they were moved into a new order Lagomorpha. This order also includes pikas."


    So in 1912, rabbits magically became kosher.
  • Silfax 2012-07-19 15:49
    Nagesh:
    Oak and Ok common words for much confusion in English language.


    Possibly he was looking for the A-OK button.
  • Joe 2012-07-19 16:30
    Jay:
    Where do you get the idea that the definition of "battery" includes the idea that it cannot be re-charged? Manufacturers have been producing "rechargeable batteries" for as long as I can remember. I own lots of devices that have rechargeable batteries. If there's some technical definition somewhere that defines a battery as not being able to be recharged, well, that's just not the definition used in casual conversation nor by the people who actually make batteries.


    Here's one: http://goo.gl/Igzx9

    Charging it can be fatal.

    --Joe
  • Flinky 2012-07-19 17:39
    I don't understand the one with the E's....had the E on her keyboard stopped working anyways, or had it been sabotaged some way? Even the Stooooopidest people I know would try to prove there was still plenty of E left if I told them they'd run out....\

    How do you spell Shennanigans?

    (NB: I also remember someone telling me there's no 'P' in pigin - odd.).

    Finally:
    THere's no P in our ool. Be sure to leave it that way.

    Also, I hate akismet too, even though he had no issue with this post.
  • J 2012-07-19 22:20
    Joe:
    Here's one: http://goo.gl/Igzx9

    Charging it can be fatal.

    --Joe

    Of course those are rechargeable. One use each would be way too costly.
  • John Hensley 2012-07-19 22:37
    these stories sound pretty contrived to be honest
  • Dave 2012-07-19 23:45
    Jeff:
    I'm sorry sir but the oak buttons are only made from Chinese Oak, which of course comes from China. There should have been one attached to your owner's manual. Do you still have the boxes from when you unpacked your computer? No? Well then let me order you one. It should arrive in about two weeks.


    Who cares about his Chinese oak buttons, I need one made of sapient pearwood, and pretty damn quickly, the weasels are getting jumpy.
  • Warren 2012-07-19 23:59
    Always mount a scratch rabbit

    http://www.cs.utah.edu/~elb/folklore/scrtch.monkey
  • Gruntled Postal Worker 2012-07-20 01:36
    People, you guys are ruining this site by sending in such obvious fakes.

    Someone who doesn't know a battery can be recharged, but has no trouble figuring out how to remove it from her laptop? I guess it's as plausible as any women-are-stupid-when-it-comes-to-technology anecdote, right?

    An Oak button? You know, I can imagine a beginning computer user not geting the metaphor right away, and looking for the Ok or Cancel button on the keyboard instead of the screen, but looking for a wooden key, yeah sure. Still trying to top the cup holder or the any key anecdotes I guess...


  • Dirk 2012-07-20 01:50
    I asked the lady, "Is that Jim?"

    I honestly was waiting to read that he cracked Jim over the back of the head with the old keyboard. "Is that Jim? Yeah??" Crack!!
  • Moonraquel 2012-07-20 03:20
    Gruntled Postal Worker:

    Someone who doesn't know a battery can be recharged, but has no trouble figuring out how to remove it from her laptop?


    I don't know about ancient laptops (as in the story) but on many newer ones it's a lot easier to remove the battery than, say, on a battery-operated radio or something. There's one or two thingies that you slide and it just pops out, often with text or an icon next to them telling you what they release.
  • MightyM 2012-07-20 03:28
    Gruntled Postal Worker:

    Someone who doesn't know a battery can be recharged, but has no trouble figuring out how to remove it from her laptop? I guess it's as plausible as any women-are-stupid-when-it-comes-to-technology anecdote, right?


    Um, read the story again. The woman was the one who got it right.
  • MightyM 2012-07-20 03:29
    Anonymous:
    "Rabbits and hares were formerly classified in the order Rodentia (rodent) until 1912, when they were moved into a new order Lagomorpha. This order also includes pikas."


    I thought pikas were electrical mice? (Sorry, I had to.)
  • puzzled of england 2012-07-20 03:57
    I don't believe any of these. What a load of drivel. Not even entertaining.
  • Severity One 2012-07-20 04:00
    alegr:
    Hasse:

    And if rechargable it should be called an accumulator, not battery. As you say batteries are not to be recharged
    Here in America, everybody calls an accumulator in a car "a battery".
    Not just in America, pretty much everywhere they speak English.

    The funny thing is, though, that in Dutch you would 'accu' for a car battery, and 'accuboormachine' for an electric drill with a rechargeable battery, but 'oplaadbare batterij' (you guessed it, rechargeable battery) for the AA/AAA kind of rechargeable batteries that you would put into consumer electronics or toys. Which proves yet again that English isn't the only f-upped language out there.

    As for wooden keyboards, they do exist, although not necessarily made of oak, and not necessarily affordable. Made by a Japanese who's been meditating in a cave for the last 50 years kind of thing.
  • My Name 2012-07-20 04:41
    Hehe.:-) I thought "Rabbit" was going to turn out to be some kind of specialist software, like RabbitMQ.
  • The man who posted "I WANT TO BELIEVE" 2012-07-20 05:04
    Gruntled Postal Worker:
    People, you guys are ruining this site by sending in such obvious fakes.

    I WANT TO BELIEVE.
  • Patrick Jacquot 2012-07-20 05:29
    The user who had a dead rabbit seems not to be up to date with the newly established distinction between Lagomorpha and Rodentia (being myself a bit picky)
  • Rabbit 2012-07-20 05:48
    My Name:
    Hehe.:-) I thought "Rabbit" was going to turn out to be some kind of specialist software, like RabbitMQ.


    I was expecting it to be a Rabbit microcontroller.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_Semiconductor

    You know, we do have (some) Rabbits in IT.
  • Kasper 2012-07-20 08:38
    Is that a wireless keyboard? It may not have run out of E's after all it may just have run out of power. Same with the rabbit.

    Can you try removing the batteries from the keyboard and the rabbit. Then place them on an oak table and take a picture of them. Then send us the picture so we can see if they need to be replaced.
  • Anon 2012-07-20 08:40
    Flinky:
    I don't understand the one with the E's....had the E on her keyboard stopped working anyways, or had it been sabotaged some way? Even the Stooooopidest people I know would try to prove there was still plenty of E left if I told them they'd run out....\


    I wondered that too. We are clearly missing an important detail in the story as to how Jim convinced he's victim that she was out of E's. Did he pry the key off the keyboard? Did he install something to intercept key strokes and filter out all the E's (in which case a new keyboard wouldn't bring any new E's with it)?
  • Anon 2012-07-20 08:42
    TFA:
    I wasn't to clear what we were researching


    To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.
  • emaN ruoY 2012-07-20 09:24
    I can only see that in a year from the story of the old woman (man!), she will be calling back asking for more 'e's
  • Anonandon 2012-07-20 09:25
    Anon:
    TFA:
    I wasn't to clear what we were researching


    To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.

    Know.
  • just stop it 2012-07-20 10:51
    Anon:
    TFA:
    I wasn't to clear what we were researching


    To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.

    How do you know he didn't mean it like it's written? He wasn't to clear what they were researching [from the database, the file system, etc.]

    Oh, that's right. You know the difference between to, too and two. So, you are obviously a super genius who's graced us with his presence and shown us his wisdom. I doubt he meant it as typed since it didn't make sense. Thank god for people like you because without you, we'd have nobody to explain to us what people mean and help us out when we needed to use a to/too/two variant. Do you also know which there, their and they're to use? I've been needing some help on that one. Oh, and it's or its also? that one's a tough one. It's had me stumped for decades.


  • Yazeran 2012-07-20 11:52
    Dirk:
    I asked the lady, "Is that Jim?"

    I honestly was waiting to read that he cracked Jim over the back of the head with the old keyboard. "Is that Jim? Yeah??" Crack!!


    Well you do not know if 'Jim' had to change his password every day for the next month as a small token of the IT-departments appreciation for his 'service'

    (I did that once as a practical joke in 'thanks' for the other person tying my cofee cup to my desk with one of those high strength strips used for handcuffing ciriminals and fixing cables wtc... )
    No-one has messed with my cafeine since.. :-)
    My one and only forray into BOFH space.. :-)

    Yazeran


    Plan: To go to Mars one day with a hammer
  • C-Derb 2012-07-20 12:05
    just stop it:
    Anon:
    TFA:
    I wasn't to clear what we were researching


    To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.

    How do you know he didn't mean it like it's written? He wasn't to clear what they were researching [from the database, the file system, etc.]

    Oh, that's right. You know the difference between to, too and two. So, you are obviously a super genius who's graced us with his presence and shown us his wisdom. I doubt he meant it as typed since it didn't make sense. Thank god for people like you because without you, we'd have nobody to explain to us what people mean and help us out when we needed to use a to/too/two variant. Do you also know which there, their and they're to use? I've been needing some help on that one. Oh, and it's or its also? that one's a tough one. It's had me stumped for decades.

    You know, you both have a point. I don't mind people who hate the grammar police. But the grammar police aren't evil.

    I was about three weeks and four writing assignments into a supposedly "advanced" writing class in college when the teacher told us one day that she had seen so many basic writing mistakes that she felt it was necessary to review the basics. So, for the next two hours, we reviewed third grade English basics like to/too/two, it's/its, there/their/they're, than/then and whether/weather.

    Honestly, it pissed me off. I had to take that class to fulfill a graduation requirement. That day it became clear that I was wasting my time and money, but I had no choice in the matter. So, the fact that college students would repeatedly turn in writing assignments with such basic mistakes leads me to believe that, when similar mistakes show up on a comment board, it usually isn't just a typo.
  • Jay 2012-07-20 12:57
    Joe:
    Jay:
    Where do you get the idea that the definition of "battery" includes the idea that it cannot be re-charged? Manufacturers have been producing "rechargeable batteries" for as long as I can remember. I own lots of devices that have rechargeable batteries. If there's some technical definition somewhere that defines a battery as not being able to be recharged, well, that's just not the definition used in casual conversation nor by the people who actually make batteries.


    Here's one: http://goo.gl/Igzx9

    Charging it can be fatal.

    --Joe


    Good point. cf "Light Brigade"
  • Jay 2012-07-20 13:02
    Anon:
    TFA:
    I wasn't to clear what we were researching


    To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.


    "To, too and two". Please learn to communicate in complete, grammatically-correct sentences.
  • KattMan 2012-07-20 13:21
    C-Derb:
    So, for the next two hours, we reviewed third grade English basics like to/too/two, it's/its, there/their/they're, than/then and whether/weather.


    I'm with you, the big noe that gets me is this...

    "Could have", contracted to "could've" then spelled as it is pronounced, "could of".

    Sometiems I believe people don't even know what they are saying when they say it, let alone write it.
  • PedanticCurmudgeon 2012-07-20 13:39
    KattMan:
    I'm with you, the big noe that gets me is this...

    "Could have", contracted to "could've" then spelled as it is pronounced, "could of".

    Sometiems I believe people don't even know what they are saying when they say it, let alone write it.
    Apparently, Friday is Muphry day.
  • KattMan 2012-07-20 13:45
    PedanticCurmudgeon:
    KattMan:
    I'm with you, the big noe that gets me is this...

    "Could have", contracted to "could've" then spelled as it is pronounced, "could of".

    Sometiems I believe people don't even know what they are saying when they say it, let alone write it.
    Apparently, Friday is Muphry day.

    Yeah, at least I wasn't complaining about just plain old spelling errors or typos.
  • foo 2012-07-20 14:16
    Carl:
    I inherited just such a customer long ago in the days of COBOL and 9-track tape reels. She would call up rather often and demand that I come with a tape and give her a fresh software load, because her old software was wearing out and causing problems. Turns out the guy before me had come up with this lazy way to get her to stop complaining for a couple weeks at a time, instead of actually looking into the errors and fixing his code.
    Isn't that standard practice for Windows users worldwide? Restart, reboot, reinstall.
  • frits 2012-07-20 15:38
    Zylon:
    pitchingchris:
    Nagesh:
    Rabbits are devices using by female population of America.


    This is true, but how would a fellow from India know this? Maybe your mom has one ?

    Don't feed the boring troll.
    Feed your mom a rabbit instead.
  • C-Derb 2012-07-20 15:58
    PedanticCurmudgeon:
    KattMan:
    I'm with you, the big noe that gets me is this...

    "Could have", contracted to "could've" then spelled as it is pronounced, "could of".

    Sometiems I believe people don't even know what they are saying when they say it, let alone write it.
    Apparently, Friday is Muphry day.

    You forgot one. :)
  • Vlad Patryshev 2012-07-20 19:26
    Rabbit! I kill the running rabbit on my server every time credentials are being updated. Kill it and then restart.
  • sagaciter 2012-07-21 00:21
    What the FUCK am I wasting time on this shitty site? I come here for entertainment, and the fuck who claims to have been receiving about 10 stories each day posts the dumbest - and MADE UP!! - stories ever! WTF, dude!?
  • a dude 2012-07-21 00:22
    sagaciter:
    What the FUCK am I wasting time on this shitty site? I come here for entertainment, and the fuck who claims to have been receiving about 10 stories each day posts the dumbest - and MADE UP!! - stories ever! WTF, dude!?


    Now he's going to delete your comment...
  • medved 2012-07-21 00:23
    a dude:


    Now he's going to delete your comment...


    And yours - hihi...

    And maybe even mine, too
  • chico 2012-07-21 00:33
    C-Derb:
    just stop it:
    Anon:
    TFA:
    I wasn't to clear what we were researching


    To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.

    How do you know he didn't mean it like it's written? He wasn't to clear what they were researching [from the database, the file system, etc.]

    Oh, that's right. You know the difference between to, too and two. So, you are obviously a super genius who's graced us with his presence and shown us his wisdom. I doubt he meant it as typed since it didn't make sense. Thank god for people like you because without you, we'd have nobody to explain to us what people mean and help us out when we needed to use a to/too/two variant. Do you also know which there, their and they're to use? I've been needing some help on that one. Oh, and it's or its also? that one's a tough one. It's had me stumped for decades.

    You know, you both have a point. I don't mind people who hate the grammar police. But the grammar police aren't evil.

    I was about three weeks and four writing assignments into a supposedly "advanced" writing class in college when the teacher told us one day that she had seen so many basic writing mistakes that she felt it was necessary to review the basics. So, for the next two hours, we reviewed third grade English basics like to/too/two, it's/its, there/their/they're, than/then and whether/weather.

    Honestly, it pissed me off. I had to take that class to fulfill a graduation requirement. That day it became clear that I was wasting my time and money, but I had no choice in the matter. So, the fact that college students would repeatedly turn in writing assignments with such basic mistakes leads me to believe that, when similar mistakes show up on a comment board, it usually isn't just a typo.


    Also, a bunch of people you "see" online are not from your fucking country, you fucking grammar-police idiot. That said, ANY ONE of those, while being able to write English that can be understood (even with few grammar mistakes), is probably at least 4 times smarter than an average grammar-policeman. And - foreigners usually DO know the difference between all those words you mentioned - and probably better than you. That said, considering that there are about 15 times more "foreigners" (to English language) online than ALL US residents altogether, it is probably that those actually ARE plain old typos.

    Dick/cunt - grow the fuck up and read a book.
  • notchulance 2012-07-21 01:21
    Welcome to Bait-Board, bait-bait.
  • Dtfsxzpklñ´ 2012-07-22 17:59
    chico:
    Also, a bunch of people you "see" online are not from your fucking country, you fucking grammar-police idiot. That said, ANY ONE of those, while being able to write English that can be understood (even with few grammar mistakes), is probably at least 4 times smarter than an average grammar-policeman. And - foreigners usually DO know the difference between all those words you mentioned - and probably better than you. That said, considering that there are about 15 times more "foreigners" (to English language) online than ALL US residents altogether, it is probably that those actually ARE plain old typos.

    Dick/cunt - grow the fuck up and read a book.

    What the fuck is wrong with you fucking fucker? Seriously, why did you get so mad at someone who just said that having bad grammar is not good? You are a fucking asshole, please go die.
  • Level 2 2012-07-23 06:37
    Hasse:
    Anketam:
    The laptop battery issue is a very logical conclusion, if you assume it works like any other battery, not realizing it is a rechargable battery.


    And if rechargable it should be called an accumulator, not battery. As you say batteries are not to be recharged


    Next time I go to the garage, I'll ask them to check my car accumulator.
  • QJo 2012-07-23 10:19
    just stop it:
    Anon:
    TFA:
    I wasn't to clear what we were researching


    To, too and two. Learn the fucking difference.

    How do you know he didn't mean it like it's written? He wasn't to clear what they were researching [from the database, the file system, etc.]

    Oh, that's right. You know the difference between to, too and two. So, you are obviously a super genius who's graced us with his presence and shown us his wisdom. I doubt he meant it as typed since it didn't make sense. Thank god for people like you because without you, we'd have nobody to explain to us what people mean and help us out when we needed to use a to/too/two variant. Do you also know which there, their and they're to use? I've been needing some help on that one. Oh, and it's or its also? that one's a tough one. It's had me stumped for decades.




    Stop whining and learn your grammar lessons.
  • BushIdo 2012-07-23 11:29
    Jay:
    My keyboard has only one "e". How am I supposed to type a word like "meet" when there's only one "e" on this silly keyboard?


    Actualeee it refreshes eetself eeenstantleee. Its just like these post-its where a new one apears as soon as you remove the old from the top. Just trust me on this: As soon as you press the key and the letter goes to the screen, a brand new E will appear right below your fingertips. On fast computers say like thoses brand new 286 it reloads so fast, that you might not even notice the E going away. I can sell you one of those for a real bargain.
  • BushIdo 2012-07-23 11:38
    Yazeran:
    Dirk:
    I asked the lady, "Is that Jim?"

    I honestly was waiting to read that he cracked Jim over the back of the head with the old keyboard. "Is that Jim? Yeah??" Crack!!


    Well you do not know if 'Jim' had to change his password every day for the next month as a small token of the IT-departments appreciation for his 'service'


    Jim was actually quite right. As a mechanical device a keyboard can produce only a (statistcally) fixed amount of E or whatever.
  • oheso 2012-07-24 06:48
    chico:
    Also, a bunch of people you "see" online are not from your fucking country, you fucking grammar-police idiot. That said, ANY ONE of those, while being able to write English that can be understood (even with few grammar mistakes), is probably at least 4 times smarter than an average grammar-policeman. And - foreigners usually DO know the difference between all those words you mentioned - and probably better than you. That said, considering that there are about 15 times more "foreigners" (to English language) online than ALL US residents altogether, it is probably that those actually ARE plain old typos.

    Dick/cunt - grow the fuck up and read a book.



    No way. In my experience those who have learned English as a second or third or fourth language have no problem getting the spelling and grammar right. It's the fucking American cunts who are hopeless.
  • AN AMAZING CODER 2012-07-25 08:58
    oheso:

    No way. In my experience those who have learned English as a second or third or fourth language have no problem getting the spelling and grammar right. It's the fucking American cunts who are hopeless.


    I disagree with this.

    Surely, while people who learn the language by being TAUGHT instead of by being around it aren't exposed to the same "poison" we are by inheriting mistakes from friends, those mistakes are super easy to make. Unless you care enough to know all of the rules, which are complicated and some of them even debatable (see the english stack exchange site if you don't believe that.)

    As an example, I'm positive that most people who learn Spanish as a second language confuse el and la a lot.
  • null 2012-07-25 13:35
    I guess the battery stopped working for only the E button. Image if all the buttons stop working...
  • null 2012-07-25 13:40
    Kasper:
    Is that a wireless keyboard? It may not have run out of E's after all it may just have run out of power. Same with the rabbit.

    Can you try removing the batteries from the keyboard and the rabbit. Then place them on an oak table and take a picture of them. Then send us the picture so we can see if they need to be replaced.


    I guess the battery stopped working for only the E button. Image if all the buttons stop working...
  • Anonymous Coward 2012-07-25 15:14
    All I can say too those whom be stressed about the grammars to much is ...

    http://missorrinenglish.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/cavemen.png
  • JJ 2012-07-26 15:21
    Gruntled Postal Worker:
    Someone who doesn't know a battery can be recharged, but has no trouble figuring out how to remove it from her laptop? I guess it's as plausible as any women-are-stupid-when-it-comes-to-technology anecdote, right?

    TFA:
    Two weeks later, she was back at his place and asked how he was doing with his new toy. He motioned over to his desk and said pretty well.
  • Quantris 2013-02-02 22:46
    Little known fact: MORE-E'S LAW (often misspelled as MOORE'S LAW) states that the amount of E's in a typical computer doubles every 18 months. It is thanks to this that keyboards can last as long as they do; back in the old days the manufacturers were making a killing!