Element of Violence

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  • KattMan 2012-05-18 09:04
    Frist post again

    Violence, high dollar ammounts and hidden important messages, this post sounds like the plot of some new action movie.
  • first 2012-05-18 09:04
    First, not frist!
  • blip 2012-05-18 09:05
    Replace this comment with FRIST as per spec.
  • P. Almonius 2012-05-18 09:12
    Less violins, more cowbell.
  • Yazeran 2012-05-18 09:15
    Well I guess Avast is trying to tell us something important here.. :-)

    Yazeran

    Plan: To go to Mars one day with a hammer
  • Snowbody 2012-05-18 09:20
    Symantec sells "a wide range of security prod"? Is that more like a cattle prod or a taser?

    captcha: nisl (never is symantec lucky)
  • Joe 2012-05-18 09:29
    OMG, I've never seen an error message that tells me to contact my system administrator before!

    LOL, WTF, ETC, ETC, ETC, ETC, ETC, FR1ST, ETC, ETC

    --Joe
  • Kurt 2012-05-18 09:42
    If you're going to buy norton, it should throw an error. DoNotBuyException: "this is not a good product"
  • $$ERR:get_name_fail 2012-05-18 09:43
    What? Nobody said it yet?
    Hooray, this is my first time... wait for it....

    TRWTF IS PHP

    Yeah, I did it! I am so original!
  • Strolskon 2012-05-18 09:52
    "I got this message trying to buy a game that was included as a demo with my xbox," wrote Ryan, "it was a fun game, but I just can't justify the $53.6M cost. If it was only $50M... maybe."


    "I liked the trial version of Marble Blast Ultra," wrote TJ, "but after some deliberation, I decided $53,687,091.18 worth of MS points was a little steep for the full version.


    (I was gonna post all of these as images right here with a fake similar description but I'm not gonna be that much of a dick. Let's see if you can find the odd one.)
    - 1
    - 2
    - 3
    - 4
    - 5
    - 6
    - 7
    - 8
    - 9
    - 10

    etc.


    Oh hey, that's cool: you can send a message and then edit it to avoid the stupid Akismet.
  • Strolskon 2012-05-18 09:53
    (but I can't delete this comment for some reason)
  • the beholder 2012-05-18 09:56
    TRWTF is anyone finding an error in Symantec's store. Given the quality of the products they sell I expected that store to be completely buyers-free
  • RichP 2012-05-18 09:56
    Snowbody:
    Symantec sells "a wide range of security prod"? Is that more like a cattle prod or a taser?

    captcha: nisl (never is symantec lucky)


    Real security pros know that you need to use hardware security prods for maximum performance. The software prods are more of a gimmick. Sure, their cheaper and allow you to check off a box during your annual BOFH audit, but they just don't pack the punch of a "real" prod.
  • wonk 2012-05-18 09:57
    Obviously, Adobe has been warned about violence, so it is resorting to XML.
  • Mcoder 2012-05-18 10:35
    With the number of WTFs on MS's pricing at the XBox store, I wonder how many errors escape without being called a WTF just because they are small, and how many people lose money that way.
  • anon 2012-05-18 10:54
    That USB cable isn't terribly outrageous - have you not heard of AudioQuest?

    Are people really daft enough to pay $1450 for USB cable?

    http://www.audioquest.com/mini-usb-digital-audio/diamond

    http://www.audioquest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/audioquest_retail_pricebook.pdf
  • F 2012-05-18 11:24
    Strolskon:

    ...
    (I was gonna post all of these as images right here with a fake similar description but I'm not gonna be that much of a dick. Let's see if you can find the odd one.)
    ...

    Stop complaining. It must be well over a week since someone posted a variant on this one. If we're really lucky, we might get another one next week, maybe two.

    (What do you mean, you don't expect to get the same tired old stuff posted over and over again? This *is* TDWTF ...)
  • JJ 2012-05-18 11:27
    anon:
    That USB cable isn't terribly outrageous - have you not heard of AudioQuest?

    Are people really daft enough to pay $1450 for USB cable?

    http://www.audioquest.com/mini-usb-digital-audio/diamond

    http://www.audioquest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/audioquest_retail_pricebook.pdf

    Awww, I was trying to find the $2500 HDMI cable on Amazon, but they don't appear to have it anymore. What I did find was more (ridiculous) AudioQuest stuff, but nowhere near that price.
  • bob 2012-05-18 11:43
    But where else can you get #@UNKNOWN@# enterprise software?
  • Points User 2012-05-18 11:48
    Mcoder:
    With the number of WTFs on MS's pricing at the XBox store, I wonder how many errors escape without being called a WTF just because they are small, and how many people lose money that way.


    Had an error where it double-charged for an XBLA game once, despite them saying something like that should never happen. Some sort of error when attempting to buy, then after trying to do so again, had twice the points missing.

    HOWEVER, the support staff did refund them. Also found out that you can get a listing of your purchase history and points deductions, so it was easy to see two copies of the same game one after another.
  • DaveK 2012-05-18 12:04
    Strolskon:
    (I was gonna post all of these as images right here with a fake similar description but I'm not gonna be that much of a dick. Let's see if you can find the odd one.)
    #6! At least SOMEBODY recognizes a signed integer when they see it!
  • Klimax 2012-05-18 12:47
    Mcoder:
    With the number of WTFs on MS's pricing at the XBox store, I wonder how many errors escape without being called a WTF just because they are small, and how many people lose money that way.


    Last time similar thing was posted, somebody pointed out it is MS way to keep game in-store for owners to (re-)download, but nobody else being able to buy it due to problem with game. (generaly about license)
  • Frank 2012-05-18 13:02
    The avast dialog shows that it is going to http...avast.com and yes it is entirely correct to block downloading content over http that will change the behavior of your computer. It should, of course, be https. Otherwise you don't know that you've really reached avast.com. If you've been lured into a fake site, they can give you garbage for the update and really ruin your day.
  • Carl 2012-05-18 13:06
    So the "Replace this box with PI statement as per spec" stuff is copyright 2009. Does that mean it hasn't been noticed and fixed in 3 years, or did the OP send this to Alex 3 years ago?

    I'm really thinking the odds are about 50/50 here...
  • Jake 2012-05-18 13:13
    DaveK:
    Strolskon:
    (I was gonna post all of these as images right here with a fake similar description but I'm not gonna be that much of a dick. Let's see if you can find the odd one.)
    #6! At least SOMEBODY recognizes a signed integer when they see it!
    Please tell me which one that is that costs -1 to download? At that price I can afford a million copies!
  • esse 2012-05-18 13:14
    KattMan:
    Frist post again

    Violence, high dollar amounts and hidden important messages, this post sounds like the plot of some new action movie.

    Yes it's "The DWTF Code", based on the best-selling book.
  • Kivi 2012-05-18 13:25
    Jake:
    Please tell me which one that is that costs -1 to download? At that price I can afford a million copies!

    I'll take two million!
  • Jake 2012-05-18 13:29
    Kivi:
    Jake:
    Please tell me which one that is that costs -1 to download? At that price I can afford a million copies!

    I'll take two million!
    Now now, let's don't all jump on it at once, we wouldn't want to run them out of stock. To be fair you should wait until I finish my million downloads. I'll post a note here when I'm done and it will be your turn. Anyone else, get in line.

    Captcha: ideo. It was my ideo.
  • Jay 2012-05-18 13:33
    How much explanation do you want on Quick Start instructions? Just follow the directions. Take the device out of the box, and put it in a cherry pie.
  • Administrator 2012-05-18 13:48
    I'm really sick of those "please contact your administrator" messages. Why TF are you programmers sending people to me to fix your crappy stuff?

    I had a guy just the other day call me "I can't print! It says to call my administrator." So I asked him: did I make the printer? No. Did I make your laptop? No. Did I make your document? No! So why the hell do you think I would be the one to make them work? "The computer told me to call you, so I called you."

    *grumble*

    Now I'll have to log out of Second Life. And just when that female avatar was really getting hot for me.

    This sort of nonsense must be punished.

    So I go to his office (a half hour later, just to avoid setting expectations) and hand him a thumb drive.

    "Here. Plug this in."

    He does. The fool. Muhahaha!!

    "Click on IMALUSER.EXE"

    "But..."

    "Just do it!"

    So of course he does. God, they make it so easy!

    Five minutes later he's back on the phone. "I still can't print." Well of course he can't. I didn't make the printer, I didn't make the laptop... some people are really slow!

    So I hung up on him.

    The real fun began a few minutes later, when he started getting random pop-ups telling him to quack like a duck, run up and down the halls doing the funky chicken, and, eventually, of course, to throw himself off the roof of the six-floor building.

    Hey, if you're going to call the admin just because the computer tells you to call the admin, I figure you'll do anything else the computer says. And, frankly, you've got it coming.
  • method1 2012-05-18 14:08
    re:that crazy Amazon price, I was browsing eBay for external drives yesterday & there were a few people selling what seemed like cheap drives for £999 or some other silly price like a few grand. The people placing the ads seem like very active eBay sellers, but it looks more like money laundering or illegal movement of cash, otherwise it just doesn't make sense to me - anyone else see this?
  • Tom 2012-05-18 14:15
    Administrator:
    ...eventually, of course, to throw himself off the roof of the six-floor building...
    BOFH, is that you?!! You're my hero!
  • wonk 2012-05-18 14:33
    Administrator:

    Now I'll have to log out of Second Life. And just when that female avatar was really getting hot for me.


    Umm...you do know that that female avatar is probably backed by a..er...nevermind. Have fun, man.
  • Administrator 2012-05-18 14:35
    Tom:
    Administrator:
    ...eventually, of course, to throw himself off the roof of the six-floor building...
    BOFH, is that you?!! You're my hero!
    No, but I worked with him briefly, many years ago. He used to call me PFY before he died. Now I'll never know what that stood for. Probably "Peon First Year" based on how he treated me. Ahh, memories!
  • null 2012-05-18 14:47
    Administrator:
    Tom:
    Administrator:
    ...eventually, of course, to throw himself off the roof of the six-floor building...
    BOFH, is that you?!! You're my hero!
    No, but I worked with him briefly, many years ago. He used to call me PFY before he died. Now I'll never know what that stood for. Probably "Peon First Year" based on how he treated me. Ahh, memories!

    I was going to say something, but captcha apparently wants to say it for me....

    Captcha: 'haero', BOFH is my haero too! And PFY was a good, loyal side-kick. :-)
  • foo 2012-05-18 14:54
    Jay:
    How much explanation do you want on Quick Start instructions? Just follow the directions. Take the device out of the box, and put it in a cherry pie.
    Then call customer support and slowly drive them crazy.

    And don't forget to post the recording.
  • CAPTCHA: quis 2012-05-18 14:55
    Administrator:
    So why the hell do you think I would be the one to make them work?

    Because you're the administrator.
  • martie 2012-05-18 15:42
    violence is bad, mkay?

    captcha: bene
  • Programmer 2012-05-18 15:54
    Administrator:
    Why TF are you programmers sending people to me to fix your crappy stuff?

    I had a guy just the other day call me "I can't print! It says to call my administrator." So I asked him: did I make the printer? No. Did I make your laptop? No. Did I make your document? No! So why the hell do you think I would be the one to make them work?

    Wow!

    So you both:

    a) diagnosed the problem with the simple knowledge that the user "can't print", and

    b) irrespective of the problem, only support documents that you've created using software that you've written on hardware that you've made.

    I whole-heartedly agree with you that someone should be thrown off the roof.
  • AP² 2012-05-18 17:36
    Frank:
    The avast dialog shows that it is going to http...avast.com and yes it is entirely correct to block downloading content over http that will change the behavior of your computer. It should, of course, be https. Otherwise you don't know that you've really reached avast.com. If you've been lured into a fake site, they can give you garbage for the update and really ruin your day.

    If you're a developer, please let me know what you worked on so I can avoid it.

    If you're relying on HTTPS to protect you from an executable that will be run under SYSTEM, you already lost. Executables should be digitally signed by a developer using PGP or similar, with the public key stored in the program itself.

    You cannot rely on the invulnerability of the whole web server stack (it isn't) and this way you can actually use a CDN to serve the updates.
  • taixzo 2012-05-18 18:05
    Why does the page end with:



    >
  • LOL 2012-05-18 18:49
    Falmer station? FUS RO DAH!!!!
  • Luiz Felipe 2012-05-18 23:15
    pc usb cable 260gw, this is some kind of superconductor usb stuff? must be that price.
  • Coyne 2012-05-19 00:00
    I was really amused by the other text on the HP Extended Life Batter instructions: I wasn't aware they made batteries equipped with Blue Tooth.
  • ChrisL 2012-05-19 01:47
    It seems like the Xbox price thing was an unsigned 32-bit integer, and they entered '-1'.

    But credit really to whoever was intelligent enough to specify it being unsigned, because otherwise you could've been /payed/ to take the game off XBox Live's store!
  • linepro 2012-05-19 04:18
    wonk:
    Obviously, Adobe has been warned about violence, so it is resorting to XML.


    One of the main causes of violence IS XML.
  • vincent 2012-05-19 08:19
    So we found one in the few guys in the world that configured errors as fatal in php
  • Decaf 2012-05-19 14:26
    Pleased to see that the thoroughly reasonably-priced USB cable is still up there: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cable-Garmin-Nuvi-200w-250w/dp/B003CJ6IMA/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1337451534&sr=8-9.
  • Nigel Coddingsworth 2012-05-20 19:44
    Decaf:
    Pleased to see that the thoroughly reasonably-priced USB cable is still up there: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cable-Garmin-Nuvi-200w-250w/dp/B003CJ6IMA/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1337451534&sr=8-9.


    Reasonably priced my sweet arse. Those cheeky blighters wanted 20 quid for shipping!
  • john 2012-05-20 23:25
    Administrator:
    I'm really sick of those "please contact your administrator" messages. Why TF are you programmers sending people to me to fix your crappy stuff?

    I had a guy just the other day call me "I can't print! It says to call my administrator." So I asked him: did I make the printer? No. Did I make your laptop? No. Did I make your document? No! So why the hell do you think I would be the one to make them work? "The computer told me to call you, so I called you."

    *grumble*

    Now I'll have to log out of Second Life. And just when that female avatar was really getting hot for me.

    This sort of nonsense must be punished.

    So I go to his office (a half hour later, just to avoid setting expectations) and hand him a thumb drive.

    "Here. Plug this in."

    He does. The fool. Muhahaha!!

    "Click on IMALUSER.EXE"

    "But..."

    "Just do it!"

    So of course he does. God, they make it so easy!

    Five minutes later he's back on the phone. "I still can't print." Well of course he can't. I didn't make the printer, I didn't make the laptop... some people are really slow!

    So I hung up on him.

    The real fun began a few minutes later, when he started getting random pop-ups telling him to quack like a duck, run up and down the halls doing the funky chicken, and, eventually, of course, to throw himself off the roof of the six-floor building.

    Hey, if you're going to call the admin just because the computer tells you to call the admin, I figure you'll do anything else the computer says. And, frankly, you've got it coming.

    I contact the Administrator because I've always been taught he is God. Clearly he's just some fuckwit, and I'll get the printer fixed myself next time.

    Don't you hate it when Admins are wankers and then don't understand why everyone seems to do the world's stupidest stuff just to waste their time? It's no coincidence. When you treat someone like a dumb idiot, expect them to behave like a dumb idiot.
  • mick 2012-05-20 23:29
    method1:
    re:that crazy Amazon price, I was browsing eBay for external drives yesterday & there were a few people selling what seemed like cheap drives for £999 or some other silly price like a few grand. The people placing the ads seem like very active eBay sellers, but it looks more like money laundering or illegal movement of cash, otherwise it just doesn't make sense to me - anyone else see this?
    Google "Stupid Ebay Prices"...there's literally thousands of explaantions
  • Zomb 2012-05-20 23:30
    Coyne:
    I was really amused by the other text on the HP Extended Life Batter instructions: I wasn't aware they made batteries equipped with Blue Tooth.
    I wonder if anyones sent in the tim tam* packet with "may contain traces of nuts and human flesh" yet....

    *Chocolate biscuits that are way too sweet but people seem to love them
  • Coyne 2012-05-21 01:08
    linepro:
    wonk:
    Obviously, Adobe has been warned about violence, so it is resorting to XML.


    One of the main causes of violence IS XML.


    That is so true.

    <!DOCTYPE violence PUBLIC "-//VIOLENCE//DTD VIOLENCE 1.0//BASIC"
    
    "http://www.disproportionateviolence.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/violence-1-0.dtd">
  • Jesper 2012-05-21 06:12
    Deja vu on the Microsoft Points thing.
  • Nagesh 2012-05-21 07:38
    How many time is Alex going to show the picture of Microsoft Point as WTF?
  • Hmmmm 2012-05-21 08:06
    Nagesh:
    How many time is Alex going to show the picture of Microsoft Point as WTF?

    4294967295 times should be enough...
  • Alex Papadumbass 2012-05-21 08:56
    Bitches, I am still alive.
  • Anon 2012-05-21 09:12
    LOL:
    Falmer station? Seagulls!!!!


    FTFY.
  • Anon 2012-05-21 09:13
    anon:
    That USB cable isn't terribly outrageous - have you not heard of AudioQuest?

    Are people really daft enough to pay $1450 for USB cable?

    http://www.audioquest.com/mini-usb-digital-audio/diamond

    http://www.audioquest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/audioquest_retail_pricebook.pdf


    I like this from their site:

    Is digital audio really just ones and zeros? We don't believe so


    Well, then you are idiots.

    bender:
    Ones and zeroes everywhere... and I thought I saw a two.
  • Nagesh 2012-05-21 13:29
    Alex Papadumbass:
    Bitches, I am still alive.


    You are not real Alex and if you really are prove it right now.
  • Friedrice the Great 2012-05-21 19:27
    Nagesh:
    Alex Papadumbass:
    Bitches, I am still alive.


    You are not real Alex and if you really are prove it right now.

    He can't. Alex is dead. Nagesh is wanted in connection with the murder.
  • Anonymous 2012-05-22 10:26
    Violence, the first element of disharmony.
  • Engelbart 2012-05-22 14:21
    The number didn't change.

    More of a signed integer input -1 to 0xFFFFFFFF vs. UNsigned output 0xFFFFFFFF to 4294967295.

    It must have also been an unsigned comparison or else it would have passed.

    And the wise would have racked up some serious balances in their accounts.

    Poor input validation. Isn't that in the OWASP top 10?
  • LarryDavid 2012-05-25 08:59
    LOL:
    Falmer station? FUS RO DAH!!!!


    I'm more surprised that someone passing through there didn't try to nick the display rather than reading it.
  • Eternal Density 2012-05-28 00:30
    URL:Mal? That's worrying.
    "You're waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away..."
    Nagesh:
    Alex Papadumbass:
    Bitches, I am still alive.


    You are not real Alex and if you really are prove it right now.
    Alex is not real? Then who was PHONE?
  • STuckFick 2012-05-31 09:00
    Administrator:
    Tom:
    Administrator:
    ...eventually, of course, to throw himself off the roof of the six-floor building...
    BOFH, is that you?!! You're my hero!
    No, but I worked with him briefly, many years ago. He used to call me PFY before he died. Now I'll never know what that stood for. Probably "Peon First Year" based on how he treated me. Ahh, memories!


    export PFY="Pimply Faced Youth"