• Frank Lee (unregistered)
    bottom of the list for Project Management
    In other words, he tested as highly intelligent, making him first on all lists where one wants to be first.
  • Bartdude (unregistered)

    Belgium hs a 3rd official language : German. This lack of organization doesn't impress me much... but why would a young and dynamic developer work for the governement in the first place ?

  • RFoxmich (unregistered)

    He was evidently frist on the list of a lot of things.

  • no laughing matter (cs)

    Government wasting money as usual...

    Where's the WTF?

  • Ironside (unregistered)

    "and David was ranked top man."

    This is David, he's our Top Man.

    David we need you to travel immediately to Istanbul. The President's daughter has fallen sick and as our Top Man we recognize you are the Best Man For The Job.

    Extreme Caution David, the President's daughter is hooked up to an Oracle DB and has been lain low by an SQL injection. We need you to put a logic bomb through her back door.

  • Orval4ever (unregistered)

    The real WTF is he applied for a government IT position. The rest of IT in this country (i'm from Belgium) looks so far down on government positions that this is practically career suicide. The quickest way to to let your skills age beyond usefulness, learn poor working habits and general apathy is to work for a (we got several...) Belgian Government.

  • anonymous (unregistered)

    As a belgian working at government, this story full of WTF doesn't impress me at all. And I confirm 10x the WTF of dutchspeaking/frenchspeaking positions, where you cannot hire a perfectly competent candidate if the position is not open for his language

  • Martin (unregistered)

    Government IT position?

    If you need to watch movies, youtube and get money for no work, then it's for you.

  • bjolling (cs) in reply to Bartdude
    Bartdude:
    Belgium hs a 3rd official language : German. This lack of organization doesn't impress me much... but why would a young and dynamic developer work for the governement in the first place ?
    This and...
    the Belgian government's three new pools of French-language IT candidates (Belgium's other official language being Dutch)
    The official language in Belgium is Dutch, it is French that is the other official language

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_Belgium

  • some pony (unregistered)

    looking at the comments, the real wtf this time is...... BELGIUM!

  • hymie (cs) in reply to some pony
    some pony:
    B*LGI*M!

    Really, now, there's no need for that kind of language.

  • Kristof Provsot (unregistered) in reply to some pony

    I don't believe that this was actually about Belgium. There'd be rather more Kafka if it really was Belgium.

  • Louis (unregistered)

    An auditor, the president's daughter, and an admiral walk into a bar, where they find David crying into his beer. "I just got featured in a TDWTF article" he wailed. "My career is doomed."

    "I know what you mean" said the president's daughter. "They keep killing me off every day, and I don't even know what I did wrong."

    Just then the lights came up on a small stage in one corner of the dance floor. Out from behind a curtain stepped Irish Girl.

    "It's not the end of the world" she soothed. "They kept after me for years but eventually they forgot about me. Now, my career is really taking off."

    "Taking off?" repeated the admiral.

    "Yeah. Taking off my clothes. I'm a stripper now. Anyone want to see me naked?"

    "We all do" said everyone. "Even me" said the president's daughter. "But none of us have any money after being featured on TDWTF."

    Just then the VP of Global Sales walked in with a billion dollars stuffed in his suit pockets...

  • Sean (unregistered)

    Belgium's other language is Flemish. It's not actually Dutch (although, coincidentally, it is exactly the same)

  • jEDI (unregistered)

    Wasn't Poirot from Belgium?

  • Berend (unregistered) in reply to jEDI

    Poirot was from Fiction. Often confused with Belgium, except it's not.

  • Flash (cs) in reply to Sean
    Sean:
    Belgium's other language is Flemish. It's not actually Dutch (although, coincidentally, it is exactly the same)
    Is wikipedia wrong, then? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_Belgium
  • Ironside (unregistered)

    I am not certain but pretty sure Flemish has nothing to do with the Dutch but rather it is the native language of Papa New Guinea. Don't take my word for it though.

  • ObiWayneKenobi (cs)
    <sarcasm> The real WTF is obviously languages other than American. </sarcasm>
  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Flash
    Flash:
    Sean:
    Belgium's other language is Flemish. It's not actually Dutch (although, coincidentally, it is exactly the same)
    Is wikipedia wrong, then? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_Belgium
    Flemish is a (many) dialect(s) of Dutch. There are many versions of it. The language that is learned at school is Dutch, and it's the one that's supposed to be spoken between them.

    and French is not the "Other" language. They are on the same scale. There are quota on the number of French speaking and Dutch speaking in the government, hence the kind of WTF we see here.

  • MrBester (unregistered) in reply to Louis

    ... with a brillant solution to everybody's problems. No quack.

  • Bobby Tables (unregistered) in reply to Ironside
    Ironside:
    the President's daughter has been lain low by an SQL injection.
    You bet she was! Little Bobby has grown up.
  • Kalpa (unregistered)
    Flash:
    Sean:
    Belgium's other language is Flemish. It's not actually Dutch (although, coincidentally, it is exactly the same)
    Is wikipedia wrong, then? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_Belgium

    Flemish is a dialect of Dutch, spoken by pretty much everyone in the Dutch-speaking region of Belgium. There are very few people who commonly speak 'proper' Dutch.

    Ironside:
    I am not certain but pretty sure Flemish has nothing to do with the Dutch but rather it is the native language of Papa New Guinea. Don't take my word for it though.

    The Dutch-speaking region of Belgium is called Flanders. I do not believe this to be a coincidence.

  • Nagesh (cs)

    So Belgium Government is faster than India Government.

  • Nagesh (cs) in reply to no laughing matter
    no laughing matter:
    Government wasting money as usual...

    Where's the WTF?

    Since person was not hired and or paid, no money was wasted. Only time was wasted.

  • gallier2 (unregistered) in reply to Kalpa

    Yeah, tell that the project manager I had when I worked in Brussels in 2002. He insisted that Limburg was not part of Flandern and that Limburgish was neither Dutch nor Flemish.

    He was quite cool though with me as I'm a real Frenchman. The French speaking Belgians though had to suffer a lot with him. He would never speak French with them, thing he did quite often with me.

  • profke (unregistered)

    all that one wants to know about belgians, and their gouvernment(s) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceg6NQKHd70

  • operagost (cs)

    Irish Girl... well, there goes my concentration for the entire morning.

  • Steve The Cynic (cs) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    <sarcasm> The real WTF is obviously languages other than American. </sarcasm>
    Such arrogance. But at least you admit that your so-called language isn't English.
  • golddog (unregistered)

    Or even a "shoo-in". Unless you listen to the great Chick McGee.

    Also, there's something about the most gratituous use of the word "Belgium" in a screenplay, but I don't feel like looking up the reference right now.

  • Severity One (cs) in reply to Sean
    Sean:
    Belgium's other language is Flemish. It's not actually Dutch (although, coincidentally, it is exactly the same)
    Flemish is not a language. The Flemish people have Dutch (Nederlands) as their official language. The difference between Dutch from the Netherlands and from Flanders is more or less like the difference between British English and American English.

    And just like there are many different dialects within both Britain and the USA, so nobody really speaks standard Dutch, whether in Flanders or in the Netherlands.

    This, by the way, is a very contentious issue. In any country in the world, you should avoid religion and politics in polite conversation, but in Belgium you can add language to that list.

    It's also the reason that Limburgish has official status as a regional language in the Netherlands, but there's no change on earth that it would ever get that in Flanders.

  • n/a (unregistered) in reply to Louis
    Louis:
    An auditor, the president's daughter, and an admiral walk into a bar, [...]

    Here, good sir, take my like... I mean, FILE_NOT_FOUND.

  • Herr Otto Flick (unregistered) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    Flash:
    Sean:
    Belgium's other language is Flemish. It's not actually Dutch (although, coincidentally, it is exactly the same)
    Is wikipedia wrong, then? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_Belgium
    Flemish is a (many) dialect(s) of Dutch. There are many versions of it. The language that is learned at school is Dutch, and it's the one that's supposed to be spoken between them.

    and French is not the "Other" language. They are on the same scale. There are quota on the number of French speaking and Dutch speaking in the government, hence the kind of WTF we see here.

    In fact, there is no such place as 'Belgium', there is just the bit of France the French didn't want, and the bit of Netherlands the French didn't want the Dutch to have. They are two separate countries, occasionally (but not usually) united by a common government.

    The main purpose of Belgium is to have somewhere not French and not German where the rest of Europe can deposit hundreds of billions of euros in subsidies. Although, because Brussels was, at the time, largely Flemish speaking, we also have a backup European parliament in France itself, which is officially the seat of the parliament, but they only go there once a month (in their thousands) for a symbolic assembly.

  • Greg (unregistered) in reply to Severity One
    Severity One:
    The difference between Dutch from the Netherlands and from Flanders is more or less like the difference between British English and American English.
    Except for the fact that spelling is identical for Dutch and Flemish while certain words have a very different meaning e.g. "zeuren" (Netherlands: nagging, Belgium: cheating), "poepen" (Netherlands: having a shit, Belgium: having sex).
  • Bring Back TopCod3r (unregistered) in reply to Severity One
    Severity One:
    The difference between Dutch from the Netherlands and from Flanders is more or less like the difference between British English and American English.

    You mean one is clearly superior to the other?

  • shane (unregistered) in reply to Martin
    Martin:
    Government IT position?

    If you need to watch movies, youtube and get money for no work, then it's for you.

    I once did 2 weeks of work for a government department of the state of North Carolina. The assignment lasted 6 months.

    I was very, very good at minesweeper when it was over...

  • Fred (unregistered) in reply to Louis
    Louis:
    Just then the VP of Global Sales walked in with a billion dollars stuffed in his suit pockets...
    OMG Don't stop there!!! What happened next? Does anyone have pictures they can post?
  • laoreet (unregistered) in reply to Greg
    Greg:
    Severity One:
    The difference between Dutch from the Netherlands and from Flanders is more or less like the difference between British English and American English.
    Except for the fact that spelling is identical for Dutch and Flemish while certain words have a very different meaning e.g. "zeuren" (Netherlands: nagging, Belgium: cheating), "poepen" (Netherlands: having a shit, Belgium: having sex).

    To be fair, have you ever had sex with a Belgian woman?

  • tchize (cs) in reply to Bartdude
    Bartdude:
    but why would a young and dynamic developer work for the governement in the first place ?
    Because after 6 months of job hunting, at that time, they were the only one to offer me a position that did not include shitty pay, "please work 12 hours a day", and "you ought to be raped once a week".
    Orval4ever:
    The quickest way to to let your skills age beyond usefulness, learn poor working habits and general apathy is to work for a (we got several...) Belgian Government.
    Well, luckly, i am at a place that send it's IT people to trainings, where people are willing to work (true story) and are effectively working (incredible hey!). Sure enough, lots of WTF here, but no more than in private sector for what i know.

    The biggest nightmare in administration is hiring procedure. It takes a full 1 year from the moment you open a position to the moment someone seat at the desk. That makes it very difficult to attract talented people before pricate sector hire them :)

  • DJ Dizzy spudplucker (unregistered)

    They could have sent David as Top Man to Instanbul to help the president's daughter, but Poirot had already gone with his assistant Captain Glanstron captcha: tego tego! tego! tego!

  • Zylon (cs) in reply to Steve The Cynic
    Steve The Cynic:
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    <sarcasm> The real WTF is obviously languages other than American. </sarcasm>
    Such arrogance. But at least you admit that your so-called language isn't English.
    What sort of amazing colossal dumbass tries to flame a comment that has LITERAL SARCASM TAGS around it?

    Oh yeah, the you kind.

  • Cogo the Barbarian (unregistered) in reply to bjolling
    bjolling:
    The official language in Belgium is Dutch, it is French that is the other official language

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_Belgium

    You mean the webpage that reads: "the Belgian Constitution does not explicitly mention which languages enjoy official status" and "only since 1967 the Dutch version of the Constitution has equal status to the original French one"

    Granted, Dutch is the most popular (as in spoken by the most people), but you can't parley that into saying "Dutch is the main official language, and French is an additional one." (There have been a number of countries where the only "official" language has been the one of the powerful minority, rather than the powerless majority.)

    Kalpa:
    The Dutch-speaking region of Belgium is called Flanders. I do not believe this to be a coincidence.
    <homersimpson> Stupid Flanders ... </homersimpson>
  • tchize (cs) in reply to Cogo the Barbarian
    Cogo the Barbarian:
    There have been a number of countries where the only "official" language has been the one of the powerful minority, rather than the powerless majority.)
    <sarcasm> A pity those days are gone in Belgium :D </sarcasm>
  • Marvin the Martian (unregistered) in reply to Severity One
    Severity One:
    The difference between Dutch from the Netherlands and from Flanders is more or less like the difference between British English and American English.
    Not true.

    For example, Dutch TV tends to subtitle programmes made by Flemish TV. (Actually, they sometimes subtitle any random person who doesn't come from the Dutch heartland, `the Randstad', whether understandable or not.)

    Being Flemish, everybody replied to me in English even after living 5years in Amsterdam, even if only speaking 2-3words at first, and even when persisting in replying in Dutch (well, in simplified Flemish). It's not just a matter of different dialect words, it's also differences in sentence structure -- the Dutch have a mortal fear of sub-clauses.

    People always replied in Dutch to my Spanish girlfriend's attempts on (the life of) Dutch, annoyingly.

    All in all an incomprehensible situation, as the other way around there has never been any problem in understanding. I blame mass culture -- 17million people being fed a standardized language ('eenheidsworst') and hence being incapable of understanding the 6million who live one hour driving south and speak the same language.

  • no laughing matter (cs) in reply to Kalpa
    Kalpa:
    The Dutch-speaking region of Belgium is called Flanders. I do not believe this to be a coincidence.
    Meanwhile the Flanderization of the president's daughter is going on and on.
  • cellocgw (cs) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    As a belgian working at government, this story full of WTF doesn't impress me at all. And I confirm 10x the WTF of dutchspeaking/frenchspeaking positions, where you cannot hire a perfectly competent candidate if the position is not open for his language

    And thus, the true location of Mieville's 'The City and the City' was revealed.

  • Matt Westwood (cs) in reply to hymie
    hymie:
    some pony:
    B*LGI*M!

    Really, now, there's no need for that kind of language.

    Oh come on. It's a lovely place. Driven through it from one side to the other taking a few hours to do so multiple times. Delightful motorways.

    Except when you reach that clusterfuck that is Antwerp, of course, then you're completely up the fucking paddle without a creek.

  • Matt Westwood (cs) in reply to laoreet
    laoreet:
    Greg:
    Severity One:
    The difference between Dutch from the Netherlands and from Flanders is more or less like the difference between British English and American English.
    Except for the fact that spelling is identical for Dutch and Flemish while certain words have a very different meaning e.g. "zeuren" (Netherlands: nagging, Belgium: cheating), "poepen" (Netherlands: having a shit, Belgium: having sex).

    To be fair, have you ever had sex with a Belgian woman?

    I offered to once, but she turned me down. She did fuck a mate of mine, but started slagging him off publicly for being uncircumcised. We then retaliated by discussing FGM in front of her in the pub and made her bounce her Hoegaarden.

  • Matt Westwood (cs) in reply to Berend
    Berend:
    Poirot was from Fiction. Often confused with Belgium, except it's not.

    Adolphe Sax was from Belgium.

  • herby (cs) in reply to tchize
    Cogo the Barbarian:
    There have been a number of countries where the only "official" language has been the one of the powerful minority, rather than the powerless majority.)
    <sarcasm> Like here in the USA where "English" is more or less official, and "Spanish" is used by a powerless majority?? </sarcasm>

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