• Ozz (unregistered) in reply to kingjoebob
    kingjoebob:
    The worst interview question i ever got was while interviewing for an all linux shop doing computational computing for scientific research. The panel or 8 interviewers the main guy asked "So Emacs or Vi?" ... Either way you are losing points...
    That's easy. Vi.
  • foowho (unregistered) in reply to jtl
    jtl:
    The city is bring evacuated due to an impending nuclear strike! WHAT DO YOU DO!?!?!

    'Flee?'

    The customer is angry with you.

    Not for long.

  • ozymandias (unregistered) in reply to kingjoebob
    kingjoebob:
    ChiefCrazyTalk:
    That wasn't such a bad interview question. Worst I've heard is "What is a stringbuilders favorite food - pizza or spaghetti"?

    The worst interview question i ever got was while interviewing for an all linux shop doing computational computing for scientific research. The panel or 8 interviewers the main guy asked "So Emacs or Vi?" ... Either way you are losing points...

    Three interviews in a row asked me that question.

    The 'worst' question I have ever been asked?

    Head interviewer: "How do you tell if a system is using grub or lilo on boot if they are both installed." Me: I am not 100% sure of the exact command, but I would run 'dd' on the first few hundred bytes of the primary partition, and use a combination of 'strings' and 'grep'to search for 'GRUB'. Head interviewer: Shit. Wait... you can do that? I would say update both lilo and grub and make note on boot. That was supposed to be a trick question. Secondary interviewer: No way that would work.

    ... debate comences among all 4 interviewers for a few minutes...

    Owner: Well, shit guys, we are wasting time here. We have 16,000 linux boxes, I am sure that we can find at least one we can test this on.

    I was offered the job before I left the interview, when it turned out I was right.

    I left that company 3 years ago, and have since been contacted twice with a request to come back.

  • ozymandias (unregistered) in reply to magi
    magi:
    kingjoebob:
    The worst interview question i ever got was while interviewing for an all linux shop doing computational computing for scientific research. The panel or 8 interviewers the main guy asked "So Emacs or Vi?" ... Either way you are losing points...

    Not at all -- I always ask what their favourite editor is. Had a lad 9 months ago who said "vi", so I called him a pervert and recommended him for the job

    In my experiance that question comes at the end of the interview and it is a "how will this guy fit with the team" sort of question. They are not asking what editor you use, they are asking "Does he have a sense of humor" and "Is this guy a close minded dick who thinks his way is best".

  • (cs) in reply to skztr
    skztr:
    kingjoebob:
    The worst interview question i ever got was while interviewing for an all linux shop doing computational computing for scientific research. The panel or 8 interviewers the main guy asked "So Emacs or Vi?" ... Either way you are losing points...

    I ask that question during interviews because the response tells a lot: "huh?" = Not very familiar with the environment immediate 1-word response = familiar with the environment "well I've used (vi or emacs) routinely for 27 years while working at..." = doesn't touch a computer outside of work. the name of some derivative = familiar with the environment for reasons other than ancient history.

    M'lud, I think we're done with this wit(less)ness.

    I rest my case.

  • (cs) in reply to Tom_fan_63
    Tom_fan_63:
    spinn:
    The solution was to take the blue pill and exit the Matrix, I suppose.
    The blue pill is sold out, now what do you do?
    I wake up!
  • mjl (unregistered) in reply to kingjoebob
    kingjoebob:
    ChiefCrazyTalk:
    That wasn't such a bad interview question. Worst I've heard is "What is a stringbuilders favorite food - pizza or spaghetti"?

    The worst interview question i ever got was while interviewing for an all linux shop doing computational computing for scientific research. The panel or 8 interviewers the main guy asked "So Emacs or Vi?" ... Either way you are losing points...

    You would lose even more points saying notepad

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to jtl
    jtl:
    The city is bring evacuated due to an impending nuclear strike! WHAT DO YOU DO!?!?! 'Flee?' The customer is angry with you.
    Five minutes later, the customer isn't angry any more. He's not happy either, but honestly you don't care that much. Ticket closed.
  • gilhad (unregistered)

    I just can see this before my eyes:

    Me: Than I will blow my cover and simply teleport there Him: I want to see this Me: You are welcome, just wait to the conditions you just described will occure and I will show it to you.

  • MadJo@Work (unregistered) in reply to Hypo
    Hypo:
    I'd go to the store and eat a peach.
    The peach tastes like chicken, now what are you to do?
  • coderdude4k (unregistered) 
    You are in an open field west of a big white house
with a boarded front door.
There is client here.
> LOOK CLIENT

I don't understand that.
> TAKE CLIENT

The client is too large.
> SAY HI

The client doesn't notice you.
> GET ATTENTION

I don't understand that.
> YELL

The client turns and looks at you angrily.
> APOLOGIZE

What do you want to apologize to?
> CLIENT

I don't understand that.
> APOLOGIZE CLIENT

The client accepts your apology, but says his server is
down and he wants to cancel his contract.
> APOLOGIZE CLIENT

The client accepts your apology, but says his server is
down and he wants to cancel his contract.
The client looks sick.
> LOOK CLIENT

The client has died.  0 out of 0 point(s).
Now what do you do?
> QUIT GAME

I don't understand that.
  • ChiefCrazyTalk (unregistered) in reply to real_aardvark
    real_aardvark:
    kingjoebob:
    ChiefCrazyTalk:
    That wasn't such a bad interview question. Worst I've heard is "What is a stringbuilders favorite food - pizza or spaghetti"?

    The worst interview question i ever got was while interviewing for an all linux shop doing computational computing for scientific research. The panel or 8 interviewers the main guy asked "So Emacs or Vi?" ... Either way you are losing points...

    The correct answer to this one is "yes."

    Hope that helps for the next interview.

    Actually its a (lame) test of mental ability - they note your answer and ask the same question again half an hour later but reverse the two options ("spaghetti or pizza" instead of "pizza or spaghetti"). If you give the same answer both times you pass. Supposedly, 80% of candidates fail this test. Personally, as long as they don't answer "Whats a stringbuilder" I don't mind.

  • (cs)

    As for Simon's Hypothetical Question in general, that's easy too.

    Through long experience with this sort of thing, I have evolved a general policy.

    I'll play along with the first two or three cretin questions (as per Simon), and I figure that by the third derivative, the whole thing is a waste of time. There are three options at this point:

    (1) The Steve Yegge option. "Thanks for inviting me here. DYHAAFM?" (2) The frightening option: "Do you not KNOW? Have you bathed in the blood of the LAMB?" (It helps if you are standing on top of the table here. In my experience, allinterview rooms have tables.) "I would ask Goooood to forgive my unworthy and unshriven soul. And then I'd phone McGyver." (3) The sensible option: "I've been in this business for twenty years, sonny, and I know what I'm talking about. You, on the other hand, are just a spotty twenty-three year old, fresh out of college, and clearly clueless. I'm off for a cheese-burger now. Care to join me and learn my wisdom? You're paying."

    I normally pick the third one. Depends whether I'm manic or depressive at the time.

  • (cs) in reply to Tom_fan_63
    Tom_fan_63:
    spinn:
    The solution was to take the blue pill and exit the Matrix, I suppose.
    The blue pill is sold out, now what do you do?
    I'd resign the job and go after the woman in the red dress.
  • Greg (unregistered)

    The first one is not a WTF. It's a question that determines if you can keep your cool with an unreasonable customer. Unreasonable customers happen. Getting flustered and giving a smart-ass answer is not ok. You lost your cool, so you failed. End of story.

    A better answer would probably be to apologize to the customer that you weren't able to meet their needs, offer to continue to do all you can to rectify the situation and give them your superior's contact information (or their superior) to escalate the issue.

  • (cs) in reply to Ozz
    Ozz:
    kingjoebob:
    The worst interview question i ever got was while interviewing for an all linux shop doing computational computing for scientific research. The panel or 8 interviewers the main guy asked "So Emacs or Vi?" ... Either way you are losing points...
    That's easy. Vi.

    I countered "Firefox, Safari, or Opera?" with "Lynx" and got the job.

    For that question, I'd say either notepad or Word. The interviewer most likely wants to check whether or not you actually know what both are (slight possibility that they want to know if you actually have an opinion).

    The joke answer is a good way to say:

    1. Yes, I know they're both text editors, and
    2. It's a freaking text editor. I'll use whichever one I want and it's none of your business.
    3. I have a sense of humor and you can actually get along with me.
  • krupa (unregistered) in reply to Greg
    Greg:
    The first one is not a WTF. It's a question that determines if you can keep your cool with an unreasonable customer. Unreasonable customers happen. Getting flustered and giving a smart-ass answer is not ok. You lost your cool, so you failed. End of story.

    The first one is totally a WTF. Not because the customer was unreasonable but because everything the interviewee suggested failed. If the guy said "well, I'd ditch my car in the traffic jam and start running to the customer's site" it would probably be met with "a mugger jumps out and breaks your knee-caps with a small length of pipe. Oh, and you can't call 911 on your cell because you're in a dead zone... and the mugger just stole it... by the way, he also hit you in the head and now you have amnesia."

    A hypothetical situation that you can never answer correctly is bullshit.

  • Philly-Bob (unregistered)

    I'm sorry, but why didn't the receptionist correct the second interviewer when he mispronounced the name? Then again, she's actually working there... so never mind.

  • Ebs2002 (unregistered)

    The first one isn't a WTF. The interviewer just played the game, and not the meta-game.

    You never have perfect information related to the problem; how do you react when there is important information hidden from you? Personally, I would have eventually gotten flustered and asked, "Okay, is this going to keep going until I say 'I don't know', or is there some actual answer to this situation?" It shows that I'm thinking outside the box as well as willing to continue as long as it takes.

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to krupa
    krupa:
    Greg:
    The first one is not a WTF. It's a question that determines if you can keep your cool with an unreasonable customer. Unreasonable customers happen. Getting flustered and giving a smart-ass answer is not ok. You lost your cool, so you failed. End of story.

    The first one is totally a WTF. Not because the customer was unreasonable but because everything the interviewee suggested failed. If the guy said "well, I'd ditch my car in the traffic jam and start running to the customer's site" it would probably be met with "a mugger jumps out and breaks your knee-caps with a small length of pipe. Oh, and you can't call 911 on your cell because you're in a dead zone... and the mugger just stole it... by the way, he also hit you in the head and now you have amnesia."

    A hypothetical situation that you can never answer correctly is bullshit.

    And read Greg's post again and maybe you'll understand why you just failed the interview.

  • notme (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    That's what I would have said. "Sir, you're clearly unreasonable and unwilling to compromise. I'm afraid we can no longer do business together. All the best of luck. *CLICK*".

    Maybe that was more or less what they wanted to hear. You know, most businesses have more than one customer, and while keeping the customers satisfied, it's also important to economize and prioritize your own time and resources. Spending all of them on one customer particularly obnoxious is not a good idea.

    In most service oriented businesses, you are bound to get a few customers who take themselves a lot more important than they are. If you let them get away with playing silly little games with you and your company's resources, you (and your company) are going to regret that much more than if they'd just cancelled their contract.

  • (cs)
    "You must be Mr. Kekacorkian"
    No no no no no. It's "You must be Mr. Tappakeggian."
  • Ninja Programmer (unregistered)
    Everyone was seated perfectly in their cubes, silently typing quietly away.
    I'm a Ninja Programmer, but holy shit, these guys are good. They're not just silent, but quietly silent!
  • Anon (unregistered)

    Hey guys, I just had this hilarious interview- I asked a guy repeated questions about what he'd do with a stupid client and traffic jams, and kept on ANSWERING THEM! lol

    We hired the boss's nephew, of course.

  • (cs) in reply to Teh Irish Gril Riot
    Teh Irish Gril Riot:
    spinn:
    The solution was to take the blue pill and exit the Matrix, I suppose.

    Whoa, dude, hang on there. I don't think that the blue pill will remove anyone from the Matrix once they've already taken the red pill.

    The red pill is for exiting the Matrix. The blue pill was a roofie.

  • Dude (unregistered)

    When i had bad interviews, but this take the cake.

  • (cs) in reply to vt_mruhlin
    vt_mruhlin:
    I countered "Firefox, Safari, or Opera?" with "Lynx" and got the job.

    Do a lot of AJAX web application testing in Lynx, do you?

    vt_mruhlin:
    For that question, I'd say either notepad or Word. The interviewer most likely wants to check whether or not you actually know what both are (slight possibility that they want to know if you actually have an opinion).

    The joke answer is a good way to say:

    1. Yes, I know they're both text editors, and
    2. It's a freaking text editor. I'll use whichever one I want and it's none of your business.
    3. I have a sense of humor and you can actually get along with me.
    • You don't know what a text editor is (try compiling code that you wrote in Word...)
    • You don't think you should have to justify your use of tools, even when it can affect your efficiency (try using Notepad at the speed experienced users use Emacs or VI)
    • You're a smartass, while not being smart.
  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to MooseBrains
    MooseBrains:
    ChiefCrazyTalk:
    That wasn't such a bad interview question. Worst I've heard is "What is a stringbuilders favorite food - pizza or spaghetti"?

    That's a trick question... StringBuilders are oxygenarian.

    The answer is simple. You can't connect strings of pasta. But you can connect slices of pizza (string) to a single pizza (string)

  • (cs) in reply to Greg
    Greg:
    The first one is not a WTF. It's a question that determines if you can keep your cool with an unreasonable customer. Unreasonable customers happen. Getting flustered and giving a smart-ass answer is not ok. You lost your cool, so you failed. End of story.

    A better answer would probably be to apologize to the customer that you weren't able to meet their needs, offer to continue to do all you can to rectify the situation and give them your superior's contact information (or their superior) to escalate the issue.

    Stick with the Customer Support job, kid. You're an ace!
  • brockleyboyo (unregistered) in reply to operagost

    Ah that would be a Kobayashi maru question (surely you know but if not just google it). There is no answer, its posed to see how you think of ways out of it and your reaction.

    For my tuppence worth I liked your answer. You'd get a 2nd interview with me for it.

  • (cs) in reply to Markp
    Markp:
    Teh Irish Gril Riot:
    spinn:
    The solution was to take the blue pill and exit the Matrix, I suppose.

    Whoa, dude, hang on there. I don't think that the blue pill will remove anyone from the Matrix once they've already taken the red pill.

    The red pill is for exiting the Matrix. The blue pill was a roofie.

    The cake was a lie.

    Mmmmh ... blue donuts!

  • Joe (unregistered)

    I would just beat the customer with a bat. Do us all a favor.

    Oh, same with the interviewer.

    Ummmm, bats....

  • (cs) in reply to Markp
    Markp:
    vt_mruhlin:
    I countered "Firefox, Safari, or Opera?" with "Lynx" and got the job.

    Do a lot of AJAX web application testing in Lynx, do you?

    vt_mruhlin:
    For that question, I'd say either notepad or Word. The interviewer most likely wants to check whether or not you actually know what both are (slight possibility that they want to know if you actually have an opinion).

    The joke answer is a good way to say:

    1. Yes, I know they're both text editors, and
    2. It's a freaking text editor. I'll use whichever one I want and it's none of your business.
    3. I have a sense of humor and you can actually get along with me.
  • You don't know what a text editor is (try compiling code that you wrote in Word...)
  • You don't think you should have to justify your use of tools, even when it can affect your efficiency (try using Notepad at the speed experienced users use Emacs or VI)
  • You're a smartass, while not being smart.
    • (4a) Try using "Save As" with ".txt" first. (Yes, I know it's stupid, but you're posing hypotheticals here.) (5a) The question is the answer. Exactly how dumb are you, on a scale of 10 to 10 minus epsilon approaching zero? (6a) No offence, but the evidence suggests that vt_mruhlin is correct here, and that you're a pointless idiot.
  • (cs) in reply to Markp
    Markp:
    vt_mruhlin:
    I countered "Firefox, Safari, or Opera?" with "Lynx" and got the job.
    Do a lot of AJAX web application testing in Lynx, do you?
    No, but the question didn't specify AJAX web application testing, and since it said "or" it implicitly means use for general web browsing since for testing you would need to use all of the browsers you expect the application to be used with.
    Markp:
    4) You don't know what a text editor is (try compiling code that you wrote in Word...)
    Done; now what, bitch?
    Markp:
    5) You don't think you should have to justify your use of tools, even when it can affect your efficiency (try using Notepad at the speed experienced users use Emacs or VI)
    It's not meant to imply he seriously uses notepad, but rather that he shouldn't have to justify (e.g.) his use of vim to a bunch of emacs fanatics.
  • Fedaykin (unregistered)

    The correct answer in the first interview is: Fire the customer. Yes, sometimes customers have to be fired.

  • Binks (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    I don't see anything wrong with the hypothetical question. The point is to see if you can come up with novel solutions

    Alright, but your novel solution fails because of novel problem. What do you do now?

    Man...I've had DM's like that...no matter what you do, it will fail unless you follow the perfect path ordained by the DM. Looks like in this case there was no perfect path though...

  • Teh Irish Gril Riot (unregistered) in reply to Markp
    Markp:
    The red pill is for exiting the Matrix. The blue pill was a roofie.

    In that case, I'd opt for the roofie! Perhaps it would put SharePoint in perspective... nah.

  • Skippy (unregistered)

    It's the Kobayashi Maru of interview questions!

  • EitherOr (unregistered) in reply to operagost
    Hypothetical scenarios have been outlawed. Now what do you do?
    Can I ask you a rhetorical question?
  • (cs) in reply to Random832
    Random832:
    It's not meant to imply he seriously uses notepad, but rather that he shouldn't have to justify (e.g.) his use of vim to a bunch of emacs fanatics.
    And now you're just asking for trouble. Let's leave the moron to one side.

    There is no way to justify the use of vim; and certainly not to a bunch of emacs ... in your words .. fanatics.

    In the spirit of harmony, however, I believe there are several emacs modes that emulate vim quite successfully.

    Plz snd meh teh vim emulashun codez 4 ExaMs.

  • tezoatlipoca (unregistered) in reply to Spectre
    Spectre:
    Alan:
    Lexarius:
    For the first interview: Maybe offer the customer some sort of compensation? Like X number of free service weeks? Possibly forward him to the company's customer service reps to work something of that nature out?

    He acts really insulted and hangs up. Now what do you do?

    I sigh with relief.

    You fall down a hole and are eaten by a Grue.
  • Vlad Patryshev (unregistered)

    I think I know the answer. From the very first minute you should have told the user that our engineers are already working on the problem. And maintain the user's belief that something is really happening while you are actually in a jam. Getting to the customer's site is a part of your work duty, is not it? So you are working right now.

  • ChiefCrazyTalk (unregistered) in reply to Vlad Patryshev
    Vlad Patryshev:
    I think I know the answer. From the very first minute you should have told the user that our engineers are already working on the problem. And maintain the user's belief that something is really happening while you are actually in a jam. Getting to the customer's site is a part of your work duty, is not it? So you are working right now.

    Good answer. Reminds me of my days working at pizza hut, where we told that if anyone asks when their pizza will be ready, the answer is always "20 minutes"

  • bex (unregistered) in reply to Anon

    The hypothetical is all about testing your interpersonal skills. Clearly you didn't pass... but the interviewer probably could have phrased it better.

    The idea is simple:

    1. client has technical problem
    2. client is pissed
    3. no matter what you do, you can't fix the technical problem
    4. so, you have to shudder actually TALK to the pissed off client and calm him down yourself

    Its a pretty good test for a lead developer to see if he has management skills.

  • (cs) in reply to ChiefCrazyTalk
    ChiefCrazyTalk:
    Vlad Patryshev:
    I think I know the answer. From the very first minute you should have told the user that our engineers are already working on the problem. And maintain the user's belief that something is really happening while you are actually in a jam. Getting to the customer's site is a part of your work duty, is not it? So you are working right now.

    Good answer. Reminds me of my days working at pizza hut, where we told that if anyone asks when their pizza will be ready, the answer is always "20 minutes"

    I'm still fucking waiting for mine.

    And don't forget the anchovies!

  • beltorak (unregistered) in reply to java.lang.Chris;
    java.lang.Chris:
    That's easy, the interviewers are Emacs weenies. No self respecting user of the one true editor calls it "Vi" - it's "VI", and pronounced as two syllables.
    You mean it's not pronounced "six"?
  • Richard (unregistered)

    When they said your manager is unreachable, you'd simply leave a message and inform the client that it is a topic they'd have to talk to your manager about. Its not your responsibility to negotiate that stuff and so just staying firm that its not your place to discuss contracts is perfectly acceptable. I have been in similar situations where the client demands money back or that I not bill for hours worked. My response is that they should bring it up with the salesperson, I report my hours, they do the billing.

  • (cs)

    Actually, the 1st one is pretty easy. You re-apply for the job under a different name. While waiting for a call back, you hack into their HR system and edit the question so that it has a solution.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi_Maru

  • Ojno (unregistered) in reply to jtl
    jtl:
    The city is bring evacuated due to an impending nuclear strike! WHAT DO YOU DO!?!?!

    'Flee?'

    The customer is angry with you.

    The customer is angry with you!

    Suddenly, a hypothetical question strikes you!

    It seems not to affect you.

    The customer is not deterred...

    A wide-angle disintegration beam hits you!

    You fry to a crisp.

    You die...

    Goodbye Simon the Software Developer... You died in The Interview of Doom on question level 1 with 0 points, and 0 pieces of gold, after 9 moves.

  • James O'Boston (unregistered)
    To this day, I still wonder how I could have solved that hypothetical question.

    I know! I know!

    clue: "Mother of Pearl, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a physician."

    answer: Kobiyashi Maru

    natch.

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