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Admin
Gotta love the term 'seamless'. It's so much more marketing than reality.
Who is the genious that came up with 'SELECT * FROM [table]'? You can see he only got though page 1 of the manual.
Sounds like Paula to me!
No ... i'm fist
Admin
Rubbish again. WTF?
Admin
Admin
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<font size="2">
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</font>
Admin
This line in particular made me laugh. "Unforunate oversight" indeed! Yes, yes, it could happen to anybody... I guess they skipped testing because it would have added $10,000 to the bill, and the customers were a little reluctant after putting out all those other hundreds of thousands...
Admin
Initech.......Initech.........Initech
Hmm, where have I heard that name before?
OH
Office Space...
Admin
You rock.
Admin
The company I work for refuses to purchase the screenreader software our clients use to "view" the sites we create for them
Admin
So you're... *heh* ... working blind?
Oh yes - I went there.
Admin
Gotta love the spelling of Genius...
Admin
More like an ingenious!
No, that's not right...
Admin
Admin
Reminds me of a customer we were supplying workstations to. The customer was writing font design software. I asked one of the developers about how the font design process worked. He said that none of them had ever used the software, they only wrote it!
Admin
Not quite - what if the table in 'select * from [table]' changed, but it's contents had been cached on the client? Yes, I know caching should do implicit updates, but their mechanism doesn't seem to support dynamic anything (except, perhaps stupidity). Better to brute force it every time, regardless of cost in time, money, customers, sanity, .... wait, ?
Admin
I agree... I've been thoroughly disappointed for the past couple of weeks...
I guess everyone has become a better programmer after reading this sight and all the silly mistakes have been listed so no one will ever make a "craptastic" (captcha) function / program again!
Admin
Ok, since so many folks seem bored with the WTF's on the main board, let's start something new:
Admin
Know thyme 4 spel cheque wen ewe whant 2 B fist
Brillant!
Admin
No no no, this is a good one.
A piece of software that sells for ludicrous amounts of money that works about as well as something I could knock up in my shed in an afternoon (and which basically does the precise opposite of what you'd want).
Captcha = quality, and after a small hiatus we do have a reasonable quality WTF here.
Admin
You must be new here.
Admin
I had something like that once. One of our database servers was performing really bad, and to find out why, we enabled query logging. We found quite a lot of "SELECT * FROM ..." queries on just about every table, every couple of minutes. Some of those tables included BLOBs, hence the performance hit.
When we asked the developer of the application which sent those queries, he replied: "How else am I supposed to find out if the table exists and has the correct fields?"
CAPTCHA = error :-)
Admin
Wow, this could work with ANY database software. You'd only have to write one query for each type of db and have a switch to select which one.
Admin
Simple, walk over to the DB server, remove the disk, put it on a wooden table, take a picture, scan it at HIGH resolution, display in Paint, zoom in on the bits representing the table, and voila!
Admin
Hmmmm, I suppose, with some effort, I could knock out a piece of crap in one afternoon, and I would like to make ludicrous amounts of money... I mean, if these idiots can do it, surely the rest of us could too...
Admin
I use this gateway and this is not my experience. About a 10% hit in records per second. If your developing resource expensive stored procedures in Oracle and having them use MSSQL as their data source I can see bad things. If your using Oracle to hit MSSQL which has odbc linked tables back to Oracle yeah that could suck. Or if your hitting MSSQL and the data is linked to an Access database or similar source.
I reads like your suggesting that it asks the MSSQL agent to dump entire tables for every query and then parses the data on the Oracle side? This is false. Even when you select data from different data sources in the same query "select oratest.id,mssql.name from here.oratest, there.mssql where oratest.id=mssql.id" it doesn't do that (which is an impressive feature)
As far as lack of caching or indexing, this is not true. A simple trace on the MSSQL agent side shows this.
A quick Google peak shows some nice comparisons from end users. Mostly dealing with DB2's gateway.
Admin
No more silly mistakes. I doubt it. "site". :-)
Admin
Unfortunately, their spelling skills haven't kept up with their new found programming skills...
Admin
No, no, you are thinking of Bun-i-tech:
www.angryalien.com
Admin
Can we get back to the conversation about women with bad breath?
Admin
This is almost the exact same story as yesterday and the day before. Can we get something new?
Admin
Typically, getting software to work on two database platforms requires a lot of work, testing, and rework.
I disagree. A carefully designed database abstraction layer, such as an O-R mapping tool, will get your software working on as many platforms as you like with little work, very little rework, and very straightforward testing. You don't get the full feature set of each database, but usually who needs it?
Of course, if you're one of the millions of morons still appending where clauses to strings...yeah, you're shit out of luck.
Admin
The Real WTF (tm) is definitely those ads on the right. Take the first one for example. What is this ad trying to say? Cute underage blonde girls will sit on your furniture if you buy from us? Is the girl stylish and versatile, or is it just the beanbag furniture? And what the crap is "space age" nylon?
Regarding the second ad: Is it just me or does it look like someone pasted her head on top of her body? It looks really fake, and her head's too big. You gotta admit though, she looks pretty ripped. I bet she can really slam that foosball around the table...
Third, we have Opera 9. Why you would name a browser after a musical performance is somewhat beyond me, but so is the reasoning behind a flammable vulpine. Fortunately though, despite the arbitrary name, it has Widgets! And BitTorrent! Now I can keep on the cutting edge, thank god. I always knew widgets would come in handy one day.
The class action ad is the best. That old lawyer dude means business. Look at his snarl, and the way he's pointing at the camera. I bet Alltel is shaking in their boots. Still. This is the best part though, "Some class action litigants are going to be very happy about that, and someone named Chad isn?t." WTF?
Admin
I had the same experience a few years back when I was called in to help a company using Access as a front end to SQL Server. I believe the layer which performed this magic was called "Jet Engine". To avoid it they had to create stored procedures for all queries that joined. Of course, they eventually gave up on Access as a front end.
-Kevin
Admin
I worked for a company that made IC design software. After being there for about a year, the software was ready for testing. It was then that we discovered tha no one on the team (even those working on the project for 3 or more years) actually knew how to design an IC.
Admin
Or some of our lips are sealed due to non-disclosure agreements....
Admin
<FONT face=Tahoma>That's why Alex anonymizes the WTF stories being submitted...
</FONT>
Admin
That girl isn't a developer. She just hangs out and plays foosball with the developers when they're bored. It's a cool job actually.
Admin
I think you're both right. Wait... and wait, and wait, and wait...
Admin
I hope we all recognize that the wooden table jokes are way past their prime.
Admin
I think you guys are underestimating the power of SELECT STAR!
Admin
Who's Bean Bag Girl?
dZ.
Admin
How does a wooden bit of a table look like?
Admin
Nylon from the 1960s and 70s, obviously.
Captcha has been spending too much time thinking about the class action lawyer on the right - jiggles
Admin
He reminds me of the character Christopher Lloyd played in the Back to the Future movies!
Admin
<font size="5">Y</font>awn...None of those even pop my cork. You will be lucky to get a suntan with those lame topics.
Admin
Absolutely. This 'joke' needs a death certificate. I'll print one out, put it on a wooden table and take a picture. Then I'll print the picture and scan it in. After that, I'll post it on a web page and link to it. In about a week and a half I should have this wrapped up and we can all be free.
Admin
With prices like that, I can predict a new version of OTG coming soon--without free upgrades.
Admin
That would be "Analyst" and the downside is that she has to deal with beligerent customers/users from around the globe on behalf of her (pet) developers. Her salary hinges on her ability to make the developers want to write software that will make the grumpy customers (relatively) happy. Her job is based on the not-wholly-incorrect premise that when a developer is given direct access to a customer, somebody usually ends up being beaten like a pinata, and both the developer and the customer are worth more to the business than a pinata. At my company, this produces the odd side effect of the analyst earning more than either the developer or the customer due to the benefits of hazard pay...
Admin
I was sure it was based on some other premise, something to do with direct access to her...
Where do these captchas come from?
Admin
Yeah, you spelled ignoramus wrong.
Admin
Sorry to sound like a moron, but could you shed some more light on a better way to filter data other than a where clause? I know that you can use table filtering directly, is that a better method?