May the Sad Force Be With You

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  • Fred Fristone 2013-07-01 06:34
    Looks like that code is a POS.
  • Captcha:suscipere 2013-07-01 06:51
    Please let's not fill the comments section with sad emoticons. :c
  • QJo 2013-07-01 06:53
    ':-D'
  • toot 2013-07-01 06:54
    Is it just me or is the grammar all over the place in this one?
  • toot 2013-07-01 06:57
    *grammer
  • RaceProUK 2013-07-01 07:07
    toot:
    Is it just me or is the grammar all over the place in this one?

    Correct grammar this story has.
  • Jo 2013-07-01 07:28
    Wow. The "AS x" part consistently wrapped to the wrong line, for no good reason at all.
    If that was the influence of the Dark Emperor, then it fits; if it was the works of young SQLwalker, then he wouldn't be better than his father.

    Morals: The only sure bet about rebellion is that manners get worse. Otherwise, it's usually just figurehead shuffling.
  • justsomedudette 2013-07-01 07:42
    I have a sudden urge to create a role id of :( unfortunately all mine are ints but some day, some how this needs to be the code for a manager role.
  • Bob 2013-07-01 07:52
    "commanded a dearth of Darth's that" If there weren't any Darths how did any of them own a "that"?
  • Steve The Cynic 2013-07-01 08:00
    Bob:
    "commanded a dearth of Darth's that" If there weren't any Darths how did any of them own a "that"?

    wikt:dearth:
    dearth (plural dearths)

    1 (Can we clean up(+) this sense?) A period or condition when food is rare and hence expensive; famine.
    2 (by extension) Scarcity; a lack or short supply.  [quotations ▼]
    3 (obsolete) Dearness; the quality of being rare or costly.  [quotations ▼]

    So, while there weren't enough Darths, there were some. And the few that there were owned "that".
  • Peter 2013-07-01 08:23
    toot:
    *grammer
    No, you were right first time. The correct spelling is "grammar".
  • Peter 2013-07-01 08:26
    toot:
    Is it just me or is the grammar all over the place in this one?
    Some of the sentences are a little difficult to parse, but I think that they're all grammatically correct.
  • Krunt 2013-07-01 08:29
    Peter:
    toot:
    *grammer
    No, you were right first time. The correct spelling is "grammar".


    I think that was supposed to be the joke...
  • Foo Bar 2013-07-01 08:44
    Dearth is the collective noun for dark Jedi.

    You can have a murder of crows, a squad of squid, or a dearth of darths.

    Also, darths are rarely found in groups larger than two (because they advance in rank via fratricide) so dearth is entirely appropriate.
  • Anon 2013-07-01 08:46
    ". . .unfortunately all mine are ints . . ." 0x3A28 == 14888. Well within the range of an int.
  • Anonymouse 2013-07-01 08:53
    ▌─────────────────────────▐█─────▐
    ▌────▄──────────────────▄█▓█▌────▐
    ▌───▐██▄───────────────▄▓░░▓▓────▐
    ▌───▐█░██▓────────────▓▓░░░▓▌────▐
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  • Nutster 2013-07-01 09:01
    It was a time a great sadness. You can tell because the WHERE clause tells you by referencing a particular emoticon primary key and the FROM clause has totally messed up whitespace. If you are going to break the FROM clause into multiple lines you could break it at the JOINs or even the ON, but never at the AS!
  • Steve The Cynic 2013-07-01 09:03
    Foo Bar:
    Dearth is the collective noun for dark Jedi.

    You can have a murder of crows, a squad of squid, or a dearth of darths.

    Also, darths are rarely found in groups larger than two (because they advance in rank via fratricide) so dearth is entirely appropriate.

    More appropriately, by dominicide. (Slaying of one's master / lord, although given the nature of the Sith, "tyrannicide", the slaying of a tyrant, might be appropriate at the highest levels.)

    Fratricide is for removing the competition. (By origin, "fratricide" refers to the slaying of a brother, just as patricide is slaying of the killer's father, filicide is the slaying of one's own child, and infanticide is more generally the slaying of any child. So fratricide would involve eliminating those at the same level as yourself, so that they don't compete with you anymore. To take your superior's job (implied in "advance in rank"), you have to kill him. Fratricide only helps if you need to eliminate a colleague who is ahead of you in the race.
  • wat 2013-07-01 09:04
    I'm not usually a grammar nazi (for instance, firefox's spell check just helpfully reminded me how to spell "grammar"), but that was horrible. Figuring out wtf the article was trying to say wasn't nearly worth the payoff.

    Hurry up and edit dat shiat before any more people read it >_>
  • DonaldK 2013-07-01 09:06
    I like it! Using emoticons to denote access levels.... brillant (sic), I tell you, brillant (sic)!!

    So the tri-state boolean operator becomes:

    true = :-)
    null or FILE_NOT_FOUND = :-|
    false = :-(

  • RoadieRich 2013-07-01 09:14
    But how do you distinguish null from FILE_NOT_FOUND?
  • eVil 2013-07-01 09:15
    WTF has this gotta do with star wars?

    And, did you think dearth mean something else, because its a really weird (e.g. bad) choice of word in that sentence?
  • 50% Opacity 2013-07-01 09:19
    Steve The Cynic:
    Bob:
    "commanded a dearth of Darth's that" If there weren't any Darths how did any of them own a "that"?

    wikt:dearth:
    dearth (plural dearths)

    1 (Can we clean up(+) this sense?) A period or condition when food is rare and hence expensive; famine.
    2 (by extension) Scarcity; a lack or short supply.  [quotations ▼]
    3 (obsolete) Dearness; the quality of being rare or costly.  [quotations ▼]

    So, while there weren't enough Darths, there were some. And the few that there were owned "that".


    No. There wasn't enough "that" of a guy named "Darth", but the little of "Darth's that" that was there was commanded by the evil CEO. Simple.

    Captcha: praesent - this post was being written in the praesent tense.
  • toot 2013-07-01 09:21
    He was making a funny, I believe. It wasn't me, I haven't been assed to register "toot".
  • Hatshepsut 2013-07-01 09:36

    Horrible code, horribler article.

    Snoofle, your editors are letting you down. (I assume you have editors, and aren't churning this tripe out yourself.)
  • ZoomST 2013-07-01 09:45
    RoadieRich:
    But how do you distinguish null from FILE_NOT_FOUND?
    Easy: null is a broken bar or pipe "¦", meanwhile FILE_NOT_FOUND is a vertical line "|".
    But I don't know how to distinguish between uppercase NULL and lowercase null. uppercase pipe, maybe?
    FILE_NOT_FOUND is always uppercase, by the way.
  • QJo 2013-07-01 09:46
    RoadieRich:
    But how do you distinguish null from FILE_NOT_FOUND?

    :-O
  • xaade 2013-07-01 10:24
    RoadieRich:
    But how do you distinguish null from FILE_NOT_FOUND?


    ASSERT(null == FILE_NOT_FOUND)
  • xaade 2013-07-01 10:25
    toot:
    He was making a funny, I believe. It wasn't me, I haven't been assed to register "toot".


    Way to be the butt of your own joke.
  • silent D 2013-07-01 10:51
    Their database security is actually based on sophisticated facial recognition software that only works if the user is frowning.
  • AnGryC@t 2013-07-01 11:08
    silent D:
    Their database security is actually based on sophisticated facial recognition software that only works if the user is frowning.


    If the user's frown is not pronounced enough a large squirt of pepper spray is delivered to the face followed by swift groin kicks from menaceBot4000
  • Ironside 2013-07-01 11:15
    Steve The Cynic:
    Foo Bar:
    Dearth is the collective noun for dark Jedi.

    You can have a murder of crows, a squad of squid, or a dearth of darths.

    Also, darths are rarely found in groups larger than two (because they advance in rank via fratricide) so dearth is entirely appropriate.

    More appropriately, by dominicide. (Slaying of one's master / lord, although given the nature of the Sith, "tyrannicide", the slaying of a tyrant, might be appropriate at the highest levels.)

    Fratricide is for removing the competition. (By origin, "fratricide" refers to the slaying of a brother, just as patricide is slaying of the killer's father, filicide is the slaying of one's own child, and infanticide is more generally the slaying of any child. So fratricide would involve eliminating those at the same level as yourself, so that they don't compete with you anymore. To take your superior's job (implied in "advance in rank"), you have to kill him. Fratricide only helps if you need to eliminate a colleague who is ahead of you in the race.


    Fascinating, but how am I supposed to use that information in any practical way ever?
  • KillaCoda 2013-07-01 11:18
    By killing your boss?
  • Steve The Cynic 2013-07-01 11:29
    Ironside:
    Fascinating, but how am I supposed to use that information in any practical way ever?

    It's hardly my place to advise you on how to usurp my position of power, is it? And if you are competing with me for a place on the next rung up, I'm hardly likely to help you there, either.

    But anyway, there are several hints on how to get ahead in an organization that requires you to commit some sort of assassination in order to advance.

    I could also speak of not bothering to waste time with weaklings, and of concentrating your attention on (1) the current owner of the job you want, (2) those who stand in the way, and (3) those close behind who put *you* into category (1) or (2). If you have a distaste for *fratricide*, then you have to concentrate on group (1), with the proviso that you must dispose of each member of group (2) as he becomes a member of group (1), seeing as how assassinating the member or members of group (1) is *dominicide* rather than fratricide.

    And now you are on your own.
  • Ash 2013-07-01 11:30
    Times are tough on Tattoine, as Luke is forced to take up the old family trade of Squirrel Walking.
  • Chad Garrett 2013-07-01 11:33
    toot:
    *grammer


    Kelsey?
  • Some Damn Yank 2013-07-01 11:39
    Ironside:
    Steve The Cynic:
    Foo Bar:
    Dearth is the collective noun for dark Jedi.

    You can have a murder of crows, a squad of squid, or a dearth of darths.

    Also, darths are rarely found in groups larger than two (because they advance in rank via fratricide) so dearth is entirely appropriate.

    More appropriately, by dominicide. (Slaying of one's master / lord, although given the nature of the Sith, "tyrannicide", the slaying of a tyrant, might be appropriate at the highest levels.)

    Fratricide is for removing the competition. (By origin, "fratricide" refers to the slaying of a brother, just as patricide is slaying of the killer's father, filicide is the slaying of one's own child, and infanticide is more generally the slaying of any child. So fratricide would involve eliminating those at the same level as yourself, so that they don't compete with you anymore. To take your superior's job (implied in "advance in rank"), you have to kill him. Fratricide only helps if you need to eliminate a colleague who is ahead of you in the race.

    Fascinating, but how am I supposed to use that information in any practical way ever?

    Clearly you don't work for a Fortune 500.
  • Some Damn Yank 2013-07-01 11:43
    Steve The Cynic:
    Ironside:
    Fascinating, but how am I supposed to use that information in any practical way ever?

    It's hardly my place to advise you on how to usurp my position of power, is it? And if you are competing with me for a place on the next rung up, I'm hardly likely to help you there, either.

    But anyway, there are several hints on how to get ahead in an organization that requires you to commit some sort of assassination in order to advance.

    I could also speak of not bothering to waste time with weaklings, and of concentrating your attention on (1) the current owner of the job you want, (2) those who stand in the way, and (3) those close behind who put *you* into category (1) or (2). If you have a distaste for *fratricide*, then you have to concentrate on group (1), with the proviso that you must dispose of each member of group (2) as he becomes a member of group (1), seeing as how assassinating the member or members of group (1) is *dominicide* rather than fratricide.

    And now you are on your own.

    I find it more effective to help my boss take out his boss, then fill the vacancy myself before my now underling knows what happened. Of course, my first order of business is to eliminate him because he's a proven threat. The best maneuver is to have them take each other out, but that's not always possible.
  • herby 2013-07-01 12:18
    Nothing to see here, please go away.
  • eVil 2013-07-01 12:52
    Seriously though... why the Star Wars?

    Does that SQL contain something that obviously suggests Star Wars as the memetic theme for this article?

    Or have the site editors cunningly identified Star Wars as popular with this sites demographic, and so just shoved it into the article apropos of nothing?
  • Lordy 2013-07-01 13:31
    Reminds me of the horrible output from cdparanoia
  • The Sauce 2013-07-01 13:44
    Upon reading the summary, I was a little confused and rather annoyed. I felt it was mostly pointless filler text.

    Then I read the code.

    My opinion of the summary was changed.
  • Bananas 2013-07-01 14:40
    DonaldK:
    I like it! Using emoticons to denote access levels.... brillant (sic), I tell you, brillant (sic)!!

    So the quad-state boolean operator becomes:

    true = :-)
    mostlytrue = ;-)
    null or FILE_NOT_FOUND = :-|
    false = :-(

    FTFY.
  • anonymous 2013-07-01 14:52
    Bananas:
    DonaldK:
    I like it! Using emoticons to denote access levels.... brillant (sic), I tell you, brillant (sic)!!

    So the quint-state boolean operator becomes:

    true = :-)
    mostlytrue = ;-)
    null or FILE_NOT_FOUND = :-|
    almostfalse = :-\
    false = :-(

    FTFY.

    FTHFFY (fixed that half fix for you)
  • Eric 2013-07-01 15:13
    Dearth: Lack, scarcity, shortage

  • da Doctah 2013-07-01 16:32
    I am become Dearth, destroyer of humor.
  • qbolec 2013-07-01 16:55
    I need to know what values permId can have, given that permission is the real id used for joins. Is permId a string? Also, since permId is shorter than perm_id by one letter, can I safely assume that emoticons have no noses? :)
  • qbolec 2013-07-01 16:58
    also, am I the only one who is more puzzled by constants 123, 456, 789 and P, O, S, than by :, -, ) ?

    Could someone draw me a diagram of this database?
  • ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL 2013-07-01 17:26
    DonaldK:
    true = :-)
    null or FILE_NOT_FOUND = :-|
    false = :-(

    But wait, there's more! You can also flip them around for antimatter booleans!

    anti-true = (-:
    anti-false = )-:
    anti-FILE_NOT_FOUND = |-:

    In fact, there's no limit to what you can do!

    very-true = (-)
    very-false = )-(
    imperial-tie-fighter = ]-*-[
    oh-fuck-it = (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
  • the power of Grayskull 2013-07-01 17:53
    ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL:
    DonaldK:
    true = :-)
    null or FILE_NOT_FOUND = :-|
    false = :-(

    But wait, there's more! You can also flip them around for antimatter booleans!

    anti-true = (-:
    anti-false = )-:
    anti-FILE_NOT_FOUND = |-:

    In fact, there's no limit to what you can do!

    very-true = (-)
    very-false = )-(
    imperial-tie-fighter = ]-*-[
    oh-fuck-it = (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻


    Me: "Can we update the character set of this table from latin1 to utf-8?"

    DBA: "That has potentially serious consequences and we'd have to look at the data currently there. Why do you want to?"

    Me: "Um, we're adding some new user, uh roles."
  • Luiz Felipe 2013-07-01 18:36
    At least it was indented.

    captcha: iusto, fair enough.
  • techo's R Us 2013-07-01 18:37
    qbolec:
    also, am I the only one who is more puzzled by constants 123, 456, 789 and P, O, S, than by :, -, ) ?

    Could someone draw me a diagram of this database?
    That would be anonymization or editor's license.....

    They're too lazy to make someit look real
  • gstein 2013-07-01 20:34
    I read the beginning of this article to the tune of "American Pie" (a la the Weird Al parody, The Saga Begins)
  • Jumentum 2013-07-01 22:02
    I wish this were a real language. I found this but it's brainfuck based unfortunately: http://op-co.de/facefuck/
    So much more potential for smiley interaction.
  • David 2013-07-02 04:40
    Have you ever played a Roguelike? Thats halfway there.

    "? = magic scroll; B = balrog; :-((( = you"

  • Steve The Cynic 2013-07-02 06:00
    eVil:
    Seriously though... why the Star Wars?

    Does that SQL contain something that obviously suggests Star Wars as the memetic theme for this article?

    Or have the site editors cunningly identified Star Wars as popular with this sites demographic, and so just shoved it into the article apropos of nothing?

    I hear a whoosh going by you. For the hard of comprehension, it's just a play on the supposed phonetic similarity between "dearth" and "Darth", but we should remember that a more phonetic spelling of "dearth" would be "derth" or even "durth". Still, even then, both are d*rth words, so that's OK.

    Or maybe IHBT, and the whoosh is going by me. :-(
  • Mike5 2013-07-02 06:36
    justsomedudette:
    I have a sudden urge to create a role id of :( unfortunately all mine are ints but some day, some how this needs to be the code for a manager role.


    So? That gives you 4 bytes to encode it into...
  • Faxmachinen 2013-07-02 06:48
    Surely FILE_NOT_FOUND should be thus?

    :-u
  • ZoomST 2013-07-02 09:03
    ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL:
    DonaldK:
    true = :-)
    null or FILE_NOT_FOUND = :-|
    false = :-(

    But wait, there's more! You can also flip them around for antimatter booleans!

    anti-true = (-:
    anti-false = )-:
    anti-FILE_NOT_FOUND = |-:

    In fact, there's no limit to what you can do!

    very-true = (-)
    very-false = )-(
    imperial-tie-fighter = ]-*-[
    oh-fuck-it = (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

    undefined = ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL
  • asdf 2013-07-02 13:33
    Am I the only one who started reading this article to the tune of american pie (a long long time ago...) but then I came across the star wars references and got disappointed.

    So bye bye miss american pie
  • chubertdev 2013-07-02 14:46
    asdf:
    Am I the only one who started reading this article to the tune of american pie (a long long time ago...) but then I came across the star wars references and got disappointed.

    So bye bye miss american pie


    Listen to the Weird Al version.
  • asdf 2013-07-02 15:36
    chubertdev:
    asdf:
    Am I the only one who started reading this article to the tune of american pie (a long long time ago...) but then I came across the star wars references and got disappointed.

    So bye bye miss american pie


    Listen to the Weird Al version.


    Hahaha wow, perfect. I like weird al songs, can't believe I never heard this one
  • Amarus 2013-07-03 07:59
    ...

    Be right back, modifying the bool to string conversion for all the projects I'm working on.
  • eViLegion 2013-07-03 13:50
    Steve The Cynic:
    eVil:
    Seriously though... why the Star Wars?

    Does that SQL contain something that obviously suggests Star Wars as the memetic theme for this article?

    Or have the site editors cunningly identified Star Wars as popular with this sites demographic, and so just shoved it into the article apropos of nothing?

    I hear a whoosh going by you. For the hard of comprehension, it's just a play on the supposed phonetic similarity between "dearth" and "Darth", but we should remember that a more phonetic spelling of "dearth" would be "derth" or even "durth". Still, even then, both are d*rth words, so that's OK.

    Or maybe IHBT, and the whoosh is going by me. :-(


    No, i mean, I get why he used the word "dearth", assuming we already had a Star Wars context, because it sounds like Darth. Fine.

    But this is CodeSOD, based around code snippets. The Star Wars theme was just tacked on and completely irrelevant to the snippet. I mean, if we're making shit up, why not just go hog wild, and have a story about pink frogs coding up SQL injection attacks from inside their CTOs underpants?
  • Steve The Cynic 2013-07-08 05:59
    eViLegion:
    I mean, if we're making shit up, why not just go hog wild, and have a story about pink frogs coding up SQL injection attacks from inside their CTOs underpants?

    You mean that doesn't happen? Shit, that's a surprise, given the sort of things we see on here.