• Macxdmg (unregistered)

    Why wouldn't you want an output device as your input device?

  • ais523 (unregistered) in reply to Macxdmg

    I've worked around the lack of a microphone before by connecting a pair of headphones to the microphone port and shouting into them. It's not very good quality, but it does sort-of work.

  • Cmd. Keen (unregistered) in reply to Macxdmg
    Macxdmg:
    Why wouldn't you want an output device as your input device?

    Because it isn't a WTF at all. It's an illustration of a cable. It's even highlighted in yellow.

  • Jeunas (unregistered) in reply to ais523

    I've done (read: tried) that aswell, although it requires the coil to be so ridiculuosly sensitive that it goes beyond funny. And so more than often they end up sounding like voices from deep space.

  • (cs)

    I have to confess, I'm not feeling the first one as a WTF either.

    It's a little weird that the cable appears to be coming out of a speaker, but that's pretty trivial. The advice to plug the keyboard into a different USB port is potentially a bit WTF-ish, but:

    A) It's a polite way to tell people to check and make sure their keyboard is, in fact, plugged in. B) It's possible for one USB port to break, thus making trying another one a valid troubleshooting technique. I worked on a system where the front USB ports weren't plugged into the motherboard, and effectively did nothing*.

    *It was a work computer, so opening it would have been a firing offense. I had a choice between buying a $10 hub and dealing with about three layers of bureaucracy and a union to get it fixed. Not a hard decision. I compensated for my expense by taking an extra long lunch.

  • (cs)

    I once connected my toaster to a usb port using a cat5 cable and glitter.

  • (cs) in reply to Bored Programmer

    But, do you notice how the speaker is facing towards the back of the computer? And come on, it looks exactly like the usb cable is coming right out of the speaker. If a person needs a picture as to what a usb cable looks like then that picture is prolly a WTF attempt at an explanation.

  • Steve (unregistered)

    In partial defense of the diagram in the first item above, it does say "A typical USB cable and port". The fact that the cable connects an audio device of some sort and not a keyboard is irrelevant. I suspect that all but the most dunderheaded user would not be confused by the diagram.

  • Zygo (unregistered)

    The third one is not a WTF: clearly the entire program text of Techfacts XP is contained within the filename. As for the price, it must be the 'free as in freedom' kind of $20 freeware (or else the $20 is the bandwidth charge).

    yummy ;-)

  • Loren Pechtel (unregistered) in reply to Bored Programmer
    Bored Programmer:
    I have to confess, I'm not feeling the first one as a WTF either.

    It's a little weird that the cable appears to be coming out of a speaker, but that's pretty trivial. The advice to plug the keyboard into a different USB port is potentially a bit WTF-ish, but:

    A) It's a polite way to tell people to check and make sure their keyboard is, in fact, plugged in.

    Yes, this is a very real reason to have someone move a plug.

    B) It's possible for one USB port to break, thus making trying another one a valid troubleshooting technique.

    Or even just be a bit corroded.

    I worked on a system where the front USB ports weren't plugged into the motherboard, and effectively did nothing*.

    With homebuilts you might even have a box with connectors the motherboard doesn't have. If I build one that way I normally tape over the dead connectors but that doesn't say someone won't remove the tape.

  • (cs)

    My keyboard doesn’t work at all.

    There are a few things to try:

    • Make sure your keyboard is plugged in to your computer correctly. If your keybpard connects to a USB port, try unplugging the keyboard and plugging it into a different USB port.
    • Examine the keyboard closely to determine whether it is, in fact, an audio speaker. Hint: the absence of typing keys should be a clue.
  • (cs) in reply to Bored Programmer
    Bored Programmer:
    A) It's a polite way to tell people to check and make sure their keyboard is, in fact, plugged in.
    Raymond Chen recommends asking the user to unplug the cable, blow on it, and plug it back in for this.
  • John Awkward (unregistered) in reply to Loren Pechtel

    Also, unplugging and replugging a USB device may cause a driver to get reloaded.

  • George Nacht (unregistered) in reply to Bored Programmer

    [quote user="Bored Programmer"] The advice to plug the keyboard into a different USB port is potentially a bit WTF-ish, but:

    A) It's a polite way to tell people to check and make sure their keyboard is, in fact, plugged in. B) It's possible for one USB port to break, thus making trying another one a valid troubleshooting technique. I worked on a system where the front USB ports weren't plugged into the motherboard, and effectively did nothing*.

    quote]

    It is a bit off topic, but there is another slight chance of fixing things with moving cable from one port to another. I remember that some older and not properly patched OS had problem detecting USB devices, plugged into port, that was in pair with another USB port, already occupied by another device. I always made it work (eventually), but less experiences users tend to be stuck.

  • Asd (unregistered)

    On some PCs USB keyboards won't actually work on all ports. Quite often the mouse and keyboard have to go into 2 specific ports. Don't ask me why.

  • Flim McBoobie (unregistered)

    These are all just stupid. I'd like the last 45 seconds of my life back - but instead, I am going to simply waste a few collective seconds of your lives now.

    Thanks.

    CAPTCHA = STINKY (just like this article)

  • (cs)

    "Freeware" is often used to mean "shareware". Which is probably a WTF in itself, but a somewhat entrenched one by now.

  • (cs) in reply to Asd
    Asd:
    On some PCs USB keyboards won't actually work on all ports. Quite often the mouse and keyboard have to go into 2 specific ports. Don't ask me why.
    Some crappier BIOSes don't activate all the USB ports on boot. Don't ask me why.
  • (cs) in reply to Flim McBoobie
    Flim McBoobie:
    These are all just stupid. I'd like the last 45 seconds of my life back - but instead, I am going to simply waste a few collective seconds of your lives now.

    Thanks.

    CAPTCHA = STINKY (just like this article)

    [image]

  • (cs) in reply to EvanED
    EvanED:
    Bored Programmer:
    A) It's a polite way to tell people to check and make sure their keyboard is, in fact, plugged in.
    Raymond Chen recommends asking the user to unplug the cable, blow on it, and plug it back in for this.
    That doesn't work for my NES, either!
  • MrEleganza (unregistered) in reply to Vechni
    Vechni:
    I once connected my toaster to a usb port using a cat5 cable and glitter.

    There's an easier way:

    http://store.theonion.com/gotcha-box-usb-toaster-p-71.html

    (scroll down)

  • sf (unregistered) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    In partial defense of the diagram in the first item above, it does say "A typical USB cable and port". The fact that the cable connects an audio device of some sort and not a keyboard is irrelevant. I suspect that all but the most dunderheaded user would not be confused by the diagram.
    I'm not sure about that. We are talking about an audience that doesn't know what a USB port is. I'm pretty sure my parents would be a bit confused by this picture (and no, they aren't dunderheads, they just suffer from technophopia.)
  • (cs) in reply to emurphy
    emurphy:
    "Freeware" is often used to mean "shareware". Which is probably a WTF in itself, but a somewhat entrenched one by now.
    Only by nitwits who don't understand plain English.

    If I was considering a program that called itself Freeware, yet wanted to charge a fee, I'd have to assume the author was too stupid to program, and skip it.

  • Sarusa (unregistered)

    The third isn't really a WTF. It's a common scam to list your pay program as freeware so it'll show up when people search for freeware only.

    Of course you could consider it a wtf that the listing site allows this, but this is also not really a wtf because they don't give a damn - they just want your traffic.

  • despair (unregistered)

    I guess Lori was homeschooled.

  • (cs)

    Is the back end of that usb plug supposed to be that crooked, or does the artist just suck at perspective?

  • (cs) in reply to ais523
    ais523:
    I've worked around the lack of a microphone before by connecting a pair of headphones to the microphone port and shouting into them. It's not very good quality, but it does sort-of work.

    That's weird... I've worked around the lack of headphones before by connecting a pair of microphones to the headphone port and duct-taping them to my ears. It's not very good quality, but it does sort-of work.

  • Ed (unregistered) in reply to George Nacht

    If the "smarty" user has it plugged into a hub that is fuxxored, then switching ports will actually fix the problem.

  • Ed (unregistered) in reply to Sarusa
    Sarusa:
    The third isn't really a WTF. It's a common scam to list your pay program as freeware so it'll show up when people search for freeware only.

    Of course you could consider it a wtf that the listing site allows this, but this is also not really a wtf because they don't give a damn - they just want your traffic.

    It could be a freeware aggregator that is not charging for the program per-se, but rather for your "bandwidth". Kinda like crooks who used to charge a bunch for a shovelware compilation of free- and share-ware.
  • (cs)

    Techfacts XP is shareware, but they refer to it as a "Free download".

    I've seen the zero length file before when clicking on the link takes you to the author's site rather than downloading the file.

    Thus, the listed license is the mistake.

  • Pitabred (unregistered) in reply to merphle
    merphle:
    ais523:
    I've worked around the lack of a microphone before by connecting a pair of headphones to the microphone port and shouting into them. It's not very good quality, but it does sort-of work.

    That's weird... I've worked around the lack of headphones before by connecting a pair of microphones to the headphone port and duct-taping them to my ears. It's not very good quality, but it does sort-of work.

    Except for the fact that ais523 used a working hack, and you're just a trolling hack.

  • Daniel Rutter (unregistered)

    That's weird... I've worked around the lack of headphones before by connecting a pair of microphones to the headphone port and duct-taping them to my ears.

    You joke, but a simple moving-coil microphone will indeed work as a very small speaker.

    I really have done that, and it really does work.

  • incoherent (unregistered) in reply to operagost
    operagost:
    EvanED:
    Bored Programmer:
    A) It's a polite way to tell people to check and make sure their keyboard is, in fact, plugged in.
    Raymond Chen recommends asking the user to unplug the cable, blow on it, and plug it back in for this.
    That doesn't work for my NES, either!
    Funny, it worked well enough for my Game Boy.
  • (cs)

    The REAL WTF of that link one, is that there is no graphic below (unless he/she means the footer graphic).

    I know why that Freeware product costs so much. It's because they found a way to make a file size nothing. Just keep downloading freeware products that cost $20, and you will never run out of HDD space

  • D (unregistered) in reply to Macxdmg

    HEY HEY HEY don't be so hasty...

    Why would you NOT want to pay 20 bucks for freeware? Huh? COMMUNIST!!!!

    Hey 20 bucks for a 0 byte file? PFFFT Where do I sign up! Sounds like the deal of the century... Oh man Its almost as good as buying nothing from ebay for 20 bucks... Or maybe an xbox 360 box for 500 bucks. Its just amazing!!!! If you dont buy something like this then you just may be a communist and should get ur boney old behinds back to Russia!

  • v.dog (unregistered) in reply to Steve

    You underestimate the percentage of users that are 'most dunderheaded'. I used to work for a electronics retailer, and you wouldn't believe the average user's the level of computer literacy.

    If they wanted to show a USB plug, cable, and socket, they could have just shown that without the speaker attached.

  • Stefan W. (unregistered)

    Well - your keyboard doesn't look like that, but mine does (apropos: 9600 rpm).

  • gygax (unregistered) in reply to Bored Programmer
    Bored Programmer:
    I have to confess, I'm not feeling the first one as a WTF either.

    It's a little weird that the cable appears to be coming out of a speaker, but that's pretty trivial. The advice to plug the keyboard into a different USB port is potentially a bit WTF-ish, but:

    A) It's a polite way to tell people to check and make sure their keyboard is, in fact, plugged in. B) It's possible for one USB port to break, thus making trying another one a valid troubleshooting technique. I worked on a system where the front USB ports weren't plugged into the motherboard, and effectively did nothing*.

    *It was a work computer, so opening it would have been a firing offense. I had a choice between buying a $10 hub and dealing with about three layers of bureaucracy and a union to get it fixed. Not a hard decision. I compensated for my expense by taking an extra long lunch.

    Actually, on win xp, USB units plugged in when you remove the power cables might not be detected on the next startup, so switching ports will actually make them magically appear.

    that is how it has worked on pretty much any xp box I've come in contact with at least. So the ports dont have to be broken. Its quite enough that someone cut the power.

  • Watson (unregistered) in reply to hunter9000
    hunter9000:
    Is the back end of that usb plug supposed to be that crooked, or does the artist just suck at perspective?
    It's worse: the USB plug, the speaker, and the back of the computer are all drawn in different viewing models (isometric, perspective, and orthogonal). Please: lose the speakers. They do not contribute.
  • (cs)

    1a. It seems like they took a stock picture that included a USB plug - it happened to be a picture of how to plug in your USB-powered speaker. They used it. It will only confuse people who don't know what a USB plug looks like..... 1b. Where can I get one of those motherboards! 2 VGA sockets would come in very handy!. Lack of audio jacks, com ports or DVI could be a little annoying, though.

  • Nelle (unregistered) in reply to Vechni
    Vechni:
    I once connected my toaster to a usb port using a cat5 cable and glitter.

    Did windows recognize it automatically or did you have to go to the manufacturer page to download drivers ?

    YKW: craaazy

  • (cs) in reply to Flim McBoobie
    Flim McBoobie:
    These are all just stupid. I'd like the last 45 seconds of my life back - but instead, I am going to simply waste a few collective seconds of your lives now.

    Why would you want 45 seconds back of the life that you obviously don't have, since you have nothing better to do than post drivel here? Seems you're better off without them.

  • (cs) in reply to Mr Ascii
    Mr Ascii:
    Techfacts XP is shareware, but they refer to it as a "Free download".
    <cynicism>That's salesmanspeak, deliberately worded to create a false impression in the mind of the client/target/sucker. It's in the same category with these classics:

    "No other product does more..." (No other product does less, either; they all perform the same) "Nine out of ten physicians surveyed..." (Who decided which ones to survey?) "Contains the pain reliever doctors recommend most." (Aspirin. Big whoop.) "A part of this nutritious breakfast." (Yeah, the breakfast as a whole is nutritious, but is the Chocolate Coated Sugar Bombs cereal nutritious? No. That's why they word it that way... so they can use the word "nutritious" in connection with the empty-calorie cereal.) "Sure it costs more, but I'm worth it." (No elaboration necessary)</cynicism>

  • Flim McBoobie (unregistered) in reply to KenW
    KenW:
    Flim McBoobie:
    These are all just stupid. I'd like the last 45 seconds of my life back - but instead, I am going to simply waste a few collective seconds of your lives now.

    Why would you want 45 seconds back of the life that you obviously don't have, since you have nothing better to do than post drivel here? Seems you're better off without them.

    It should take you about 45 seconds to pull your own head out of your ass... but we're still waiting.

    speakin of which... captcha = dubya (still waiting on him too)

  • (cs) in reply to Flim McBoobie
    Flim McBoobie:
    captcha = dubya (still waiting on him too)
    Why wait?
  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Macxdmg
    Macxdmg:
    Why wouldn't you want an output device as your input device?

    So your computer can tell itself what to do next..

  • firebat45 (unregistered)

    TRWTF is the dual VGA ports on the motherboard.

  • Rabiator (unregistered) in reply to Loren Pechtel
    Loren Pechtel:
    Bored Programmer:
    B) It's possible for one USB port to break, thus making trying another one a valid troubleshooting technique.

    Or even just be a bit corroded.

    Or due to a software error in operating system or BIOS, not all hubs are equal.

    I dimly remember one case where I "fixed" an USB scanner by moving it to another USB port, without any indication that the original port was defective.

  • (cs)

    Freeware where the author accidentally charges for the software and requires a registration key annoys me sometimes, as it's stealing exposure from those authors who actually do write proper freeware. However I like to remind myself that there are lots of sites nowadays which would probably have the fixed version.

  • Maxx Delusional (unregistered) in reply to firebat45
    firebat45:
    TRWTF is the dual VGA ports on the motherboard.

    Pretty sure those are COM ports

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