Routers, Routers, Everywhere

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  • Steeldragon 2008-10-08 11:07
    Op:
    The upshot of this is that this meant that if you were qualified but not referred by someone in HR, you didn't get hired. The upshot of this is that a lot of unqualified boobs got hired.

    shouldnt that be downshot...and 1st finally
    good story btw
  • Kernschatten 2008-10-08 11:13
    They're both downshots
  • zip 2008-10-08 11:14
    Kernschatten:
    They're both downshots


    sarcasm is tricky!
  • Steeldragon 2008-10-08 11:16
    Kernschatten:
    They're both downshots
    thats what i meant
  • DeLos 2008-10-08 11:19
    The Article:
    They hire before, during, and after periods of massive layouts.


    They must be a publishing company if they are doing such big layouts.
  • gabba 2008-10-08 11:20
    Gotta respect CommQuack. Not every company has the expertise to interview a philosopher intelligently.
  • tsr 2008-10-08 11:22
    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system, yet it always seems to fail in practice. What you end up with is people trying to get the "most" of anyting that's comissioned (sales, referrals whatever) instead of the best. Salary should be hte way to recruit and retain employees. Then if they aren't doing their job well, you fire them.
  • Leak 2008-10-08 11:24
    DeLos:
    The Article:
    They hire before, during, and after periods of massive layouts.

    They must be a publishing company if they are doing such big layouts.

    Almost exactly what I was thinking... or maybe it really should have said "massive playoffs"...

    Also - Mr. Buttle? Or is that "Mr. Tuttle" with a flyspeck on it?

    np: 808 State - Open Your Mind (Sound Garden Mix) (808 Archives Part II)
  • Mike Aukherts 2008-10-08 11:25
    I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system

    I don't think that word means what you think it means.
  • NSCoder 2008-10-08 11:32
    Mike Aukherts:
    I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system

    I don't think that word means what you think it means.
    Do you mean to imply that it's a word, and means something, or are you being sarcastic?
  • sibtrag 2008-10-08 11:33
    Leak:

    Also - Mr. Buttle? Or is that "Mr. Tuttle" with a flyspeck on it?


    I just thought that Mr. Buttle had been Mr. Assle before he was censored.
  • HR 2008-10-08 11:36
    Qualcomm?
  • BobB 2008-10-08 11:54
    Had one person apply for an assistant admin job saying in their resume they had experience with MS2k and MS2k3 server tech. Upon coming in for the interview, we asked several questions (I thought the questions were very basic: You have to add new user Sally Mustang to the LawUsers user group on the local machine, how would you go about this?) but we kept getting either blank stares or for some odd reason references to the MS Office suite of software.

    Before he left he gave us photocopies certifying his completion of the MS Word and MS Excel (2000 and 2003 versions) courses from the local VoTech. Suddenly things started making sense about the interview.
  • jspenguin 2008-10-08 11:54
    HR:
    Qualcomm?


    The first company I thought of was Comcast... I've heard horror stories from people dealing with them. I haven't dealt with them since they're not the cable provider around here.
  • Chalito 2008-10-08 11:55

    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system, yet it always seems to fail in practice. What you end up with is people trying to get the "most" of anyting that's comissioned (sales, referrals whatever) instead of the best.


    Congratulations, you've just realised the main problem with capitalism :)
  • KenW 2008-10-08 11:59
    Chalito:

    I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system,


    Congratulations, you've just realised the main problem with capitalism :)


    What's that? Learning how to spell it correctly?
  • Reggie 2008-10-08 12:00
    Maybe they make maps. These often require big layouts.
  • RBoy 2008-10-08 12:04
    Chalito:

    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system, yet it always seems to fail in practice. What you end up with is people trying to get the "most" of anyting that's comissioned (sales, referrals whatever) instead of the best.


    Congratulations, you've just realised the main problem with capitalism :)


    I thought that it was the main problem with a capilistic society.

    At the very least, I know that in capitalist system, it costs way too much for poor people to be able to afford their eros.
  • JR 2008-10-08 12:08
    Wow, these people get exactly what they deserve - crap candidates and a high turnover rate. I don't see it could be any other way when you're hiring your candidates based on who can earn a commission for some greedy HR nobody. Damn I hate HR.

    This was a nice collection of shorts, I'll have to remember to avoid "CommQuack" (nice anonymisation!).
  • Inigo Montoya 2008-10-08 12:13
    NSCoder:
    Mike Aukherts:
    I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system

    I don't think that word means what you think it means.
    Do you mean to imply that it's a word, and means something, or are you being sarcastic?

    You killed my joke. Prepare to die.
  • pitchingchris 2008-10-08 12:25
    They just neeed to deduct 5000 from the person referring unqualified people. With all rewards and no consequence, some people will have their whole family working there before long.
  • SeekerDarksteel 2008-10-08 12:34
    Chalito:

    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system, yet it always seems to fail in practice. What you end up with is people trying to get the "most" of anyting that's comissioned (sales, referrals whatever) instead of the best.


    Congratulations, you've just realised the main problem with improperly executed capitalism :)


    FTFY.

    In a properly functioning capitalist system, producers are rewarded for producing the highest quality product for the lowest cost by selling an increased volume of product. The problem in the commission system described in this story is that it fails to reward quality properly. This is a fault in the commission system, rather than the idea of capitalism.
  • notme 2008-10-08 12:42
    Chalito:

    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system, yet it always seems to fail in practice. What you end up with is people trying to get the "most" of anyting that's comissioned (sales, referrals whatever) instead of the best.


    Congratulations, you've just realised the main problem with capitalism :)


    No, he didn't. There are some inherent problems with capitalism, but this is just "capitalism done wrong".
  • themagni 2008-10-08 12:45
    Leak:


    Also - Mr. Buttle? Or is that "Mr. Tuttle" with a flyspeck on it?


    His real name is Mr. Assle.
  • Yep 2008-10-08 12:48
    Clbuttic.
  • Glazius 2008-10-08 12:49
    So HR was practicing Kant's Categorial Hiring Imperative, then: act as though the person you would hire for some job could be hired for any job.

    There's a reason why Kant didn't last long in HR.
  • immitto 2008-10-08 12:57
    tsr:
    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system

    So what capital (means of production) do the people getting the commissions have?
  • Frenchier than thou 2008-10-08 13:03
    immitto:
    tsr:
    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system

    So what capital (means of production) do the people getting the commissions have?

    Whatever they pull the candidates out of....
  • Benanov 2008-10-08 13:04
    If I were on the interviewing team, I'd collude with an HR rep at that company. Go in for some very attractive split (say,80/20 in their favor) for that $5000 referral fee.

    The referral doesn't go to me, it's put under the HR rep. Their incentive is that I hire the person citing some obscure resume line item that actually looks attractive--but we know that the hiree is actually no good. When it "doesn't pan out," we let the new employee go a few months later when it's clear they lied.

    Collect $1000, repeat every 3-4 months.

    Since every other HR person is making sure there's some name on the referral, it won't be too obvious if you spread it out enough.
  • Addison 2008-10-08 13:09
    themagni:
    Leak:


    Also - Mr. Buttle? Or is that "Mr. Tuttle" with a flyspeck on it?


    His real name is Mr. Assle.


    I am at work. STOP MAKING ME LAUGH.
  • spejic 2008-10-08 13:24
    Glazius :
    So HR was practicing Kant's Categorial Hiring Imperative, then: act as though the person you would hire for some job could be hired for any job.

    There's a reason why Kant didn't last long in HR.
    Dude, your comment is, like, ok an all, but it would be soooooo much more rockin' on a Mac. I mean, like, ROCKIN'!

    I hope that wasn't to technical for you, bro.
  • Glow-in-the-dark 2008-10-08 13:32
    Benanov:
    If I were on the interviewing team, I'd collude with an HR rep at that company. Go in for some very attractive split (say,80/20 in their favor) for that $5000 referral fee.

    The referral doesn't go to me, it's put under the HR rep. Their incentive is that I hire the person citing some obscure resume line item that actually looks attractive--but we know that the hiree is actually no good. When it "doesn't pan out," we let the new employee go a few months later when it's clear they lied.

    Collect $1000, repeat every 3-4 months.

    Since every other HR person is making sure there's some name on the referral, it won't be too obvious if you spread it out enough.


    OK, now do tell: do you think you have discovered something new here, or do you think you have just unearthed why a lot of the larger companies employ crap staff?
  • Technical Thug 2008-10-08 13:32
    HR:
    Qualcomm?
    No, dummy, the story explicitly said "CommQuack."

    Jeeze!
  • Dazed 2008-10-08 13:32
    Another gentleman's résumé was two pages long.

    A couple of years ago we needed someone who was fairly experienced for a consultancy position. One of the CV's submitted was indeed just two pages long, with everything described so briefly that one really couldn't tell what he'd done. But another one was - wait for it - forty-eight pages long! It's the only time I've rejected a candidate without reading his CV.
  • realmerlyn 2008-10-08 13:51
    even right clicking (take that, Mac applicant)


    Hey, stop dissing on the Mac, using your decade-old view of what a Mac does. OS9 and OS X have had completely integrated support for multi-button mice from the beginning. Be nice.
  • Bob 2008-10-08 13:54
    Was it Mr. Buttle, in the server room with the candlestick er... I mean mouse?
  • Pedantic 2008-10-08 13:56
    TFA:
    Each referred employee that turned into a hire netted the referrer a cool $5,000.00.


    TRWTF is that someone keeps referring employees to be hired when they presumably already work there.
  • 5|i(3_x 2008-10-08 14:05
    SeekerDarksteel:
    Chalito:

    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system, yet it always seems to fail in practice. What you end up with is people trying to get the "most" of anyting that's comissioned (sales, referrals whatever) instead of the best.


    Congratulations, you've just realised the main problem with improperly executed capitalism :)


    FTFY.

    In a properly functioning capitalist system, producers are rewarded for producing the highest quality product for the lowest cost by selling an increased volume of product. The problem in the commission system described in this story is that it fails to reward quality properly. This is a fault in the commission system, rather than the idea of capitalism.


    +1

    There is still a profit motive for the company as a whole to waste as little time as possible in the hiring process. A shrewd executive would realize this and adjust the compensation process accordingly. All else being equal, this company is going to be punished by the market until they figure things out. That's not to say that they won't prosper--they employ Grig afterall... Just not as much as they could with sane hiring practices.

    And if they never have a shrewd exec at the helm, it's all the easier for them to be surpassed in the market by somebody with a little competency.
  • Vizzini 2008-10-08 14:07
    Mike Aukherts:
    I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system

    I don't think that word means what you think it means.


    Inconceivable!
  • jordanwb 2008-10-08 14:37
    realmerlyn:
    even right clicking (take that, Mac applicant)


    Hey, stop dissing on the Mac, using your decade-old view of what a Mac does. OS9 and OS X have had completely integrated support for multi-button mice from the beginning. Be nice.


    Certainly took them long enough. Windows had multibutton mouses in Windows 3.1 (possibly earlier)
  • Kiss me I'm Polish 2008-10-08 14:47
    jordanwb:
    realmerlyn:
    even right clicking (take that, Mac applicant)


    Hey, stop dissing on the Mac, using your decade-old view of what a Mac does. OS9 and OS X have had completely integrated support for multi-button mice from the beginning. Be nice.


    Certainly took them long enough. Windows had multibutton mouses in Windows 3.1 (possibly earlier)

    Using an Apple notebook, where you get to use only one button and not even a touchpad tapping to simulate clicks, I always feel like somebody just cut my fingers. I've just recently discovered they had some cryptic multitouch, which involves putting your TWO hands on the touchpad.
    I'm sorry, it's difficult to be nice ;,(
  • Vechni 2008-10-08 15:20
    notme:
    Chalito:

    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system, yet it always seems to fail in practice. What you end up with is people trying to get the "most" of anyting that's comissioned (sales, referrals whatever) instead of the best.


    Congratulations, you've just realised the main problem with capitalism :)


    No, he didn't. There are some inherent problems with capitalism, but this is just "capitalism done wrong".


    Which is what our civilized world has currently.
  • Spectere 2008-10-08 15:29
    Kiss me I'm Polish:
    Using an Apple notebook, where you get to use only one button and not even a touchpad tapping to simulate clicks, I always feel like somebody just cut my fingers. I've just recently discovered they had some cryptic multitouch, which involves putting your TWO hands on the touchpad.
    I'm sorry, it's difficult to be nice ;,(

    Oh, that's okay. You could always try using the Mighty Mouse, where the simple act of clicking while your middle finger is resting surface of the mouse counts as a right-click. I'm sorry, Apple, but I doubt I'd be able to give up my 18-year-long habit of resting my fingers on the mouse while I work just to suit a silly gimmick like touch-sensitive "buttons."

    Apple's still all about the single-button mouse, but at least OS X finally supports higher-end mice. Actually, it might even support them a little too well in some ways. Let's just say, I hope that they finally fixed that thing with Exposé (and possibly other features, I don't really know) that allows you to bind a certain function to one of 64 mouse buttons. Yikes.
  • Smash King 2008-10-08 15:32
    Kiss me I'm Polish:
    jordanwb:
    Certainly took them long enough. Windows had multibutton mouses in Windows 3.1 (possibly earlier)

    Using an Apple notebook, where you get to use only one button and not even a touchpad tapping to simulate clicks, I always feel like somebody just cut my fingers. I've just recently discovered they had some cryptic multitouch, which involves putting your TWO hands on the touchpad.
    I'm sorry, it's difficult to be nice ;,(
    I don't know why you all are bashing Mac's lack of a second button. I even heard they thought of adding support to a console joystick long before any other system.



  • Jimbob 2008-10-08 15:33
    Kiss me I'm Polish :
    Using an Apple notebook, where you get to use only one button and not even a touchpad tapping to simulate clicks, I always feel like somebody just cut my fingers. I've just recently discovered they had some cryptic multitouch, which involves putting your TWO hands on the touchpad.


    MacBooks have had tap-to-click for a long time and the new MacBooks come with mulit-touch which allows the following:

    1) Place two fingers on the touchpad & click the button - right click.
    2) Tap two fingers on the touchpad - also right click.
    3) Place two fingers on the touchpad & drag - scroll in any direction.

    While this isn't as good as a 2+ button mouse this is far better than any other touchpad on the market. Whenever I switch to a different laptop it takes me 5-10mins to get used to the crude touchpad.

    BTW - I'm not a Mac fanboi but I do credit them when they deserve it.
  • BottomCod3r 2008-10-08 15:44

    At my company, we make sure to hire competent engeneers by using a process with no less than 12 interviews. Sometimes, they would do multiple interviews the same day with a math test in the end of the day.

    PS: I am a TopCod3r biggest fan !
  • bloodclot 2008-10-08 15:47
    I'd really be interested in knowing where the author of this story got it from. I actually work with the "Grig L" referred to in the story and he states that this entire story is rather embellished and some is wholly untrue.
  • ohnoes! 2008-10-08 15:51
    but i read it on the interwebs,
    they must be (TRUE)!
  • Mr. Cisco 2008-10-08 16:08
    Sounds like another company I know (Cisco)
  • Jay 2008-10-08 16:13
    gabba:
    Gotta respect CommQuack. Not every company has the expertise to interview a philosopher intelligently.


    True. My company once hired a philosophy major to be a software engineer after an inadequate interview, only later to discover that he was completely unable to implement Anselm's Ontological Argument in Java.
  • Carnildo 2008-10-08 16:19
    jordanwb:
    realmerlyn:
    even right clicking (take that, Mac applicant)


    Hey, stop dissing on the Mac, using your decade-old view of what a Mac does. OS9 and OS X have had completely integrated support for multi-button mice from the beginning. Be nice.


    Certainly took them long enough. Windows had multibutton mouses in Windows 3.1 (possibly earlier)


    Windows didn't make serious use of right-clicking until Windows 95. Until then, you could get by reasonably well with a single-button mouse.
  • Jay 2008-10-08 16:27
    Chalito:

    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system, yet it always seems to fail in practice. What you end up with is people trying to get the "most" of anyting that's comissioned (sales, referrals whatever) instead of the best.


    Congratulations, you've just realised the main problem with capitalism :)


    While this may have happened at a basically capitalist institution, it is more typical of the problems of socialism. Under capitalism, people are rewarded in proportion to how they satisfy the customer efficiently. Give the customers what they want at a reasonable price, and they come back for more. Under socialism, people are rewarded in proportion to how they satisfy a bureaucrat's arbitrary rules, that have no direct relationship to satisfying the actual customer.

    Like in the United States for the past few years, banks have been rewarded by the government based on the number of mortgage loans they made to people from various demographic groups: basically they had to loan money to people from poor neighborhoods and to ethnic minorities. The probability that the money could be repaid was not a factor in the equation. (Well, except in the perverse sense that they were rewarded for loaning to poor people, and poor people are presumably less likely to be able to repay.) The results were a shocking surprise only to government officials.

    Many commission schemes give counter-productive results because they are arbitrary and poorly thought out. Like, a company I worked for many years ago considered giving programmers bonuses based on lines of code produced. They never implemented the plan, which is too bad, because I had it all worked out how to make a bundle. Like, never write "x=x+7;". Instead write "x=x+1;" seven times. Never use a loop, just copy and paste the same code repeatedly. Etc.

    In this case, an obvious better plan would be to pay the commission only if the new hire proved to be a good choice, like if he got a favorable rating on his first annual review or some such. Also, it creates a pretty obvious conflict of interest if an employee gets a bonus when a candidate that he proposes is hired, and that same employee or his friends have a say in which candidates are hired. That's like saying that the coach of one of the teams is also the umpire.
  • 008 2008-10-08 16:33
    Mr. Buttle's name is really Mr. Asshole. "Ass" gets censored to "Butt", then "ho" gets deleted (censored to ""). The person writing the XML for the censorship program forgot to take a picture of the copy with the "asshole" regex on a wooden table, accidentally using the glass table. This messed up the OCR when it was scanned in.
  • katastrofa 2008-10-08 16:36
    SeekerDarksteel:
    Chalito:

    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system, yet it always seems to fail in practice. What you end up with is people trying to get the "most" of anyting that's comissioned (sales, referrals whatever) instead of the best.


    Congratulations, you've just realised the main problem with improperly executed capitalism :)


    FTFY.

    In a properly functioning capitalist system, producers are rewarded for producing the highest quality product for the lowest cost by selling an increased volume of product. The problem in the commission system described in this story is that it fails to reward quality properly. This is a fault in the commission system, rather than the idea of capitalism.


    Some people claim that properly executed socialism is also quite nice.
  • Grig Larson 2008-10-08 16:52
    Um... as the original writer of this piece, I have to say there are some rather... embellished points. Some things were just plain changed. I guess they didn't want to use real names, so let's just say I worked for a VERY large ISP out of Northern Virginia.

    1. Not "layouts" but "layoffs." We had layoffs like crazy in good times and in bad, about 2-3 a year, and it was nerve wracking. There was often no rhyme or reason, either, considering they would lay off an entire department, and then replace the department with new hires with bigger salaries. And they would be laid off later in the year. Or renamed. Or "reorganized" which was the most common name for layoffs. That and "restructuring." But it was like the HR department wasn't connected to any other reality but their own.

    2. The resume of the "man page" guy was actually not huff and puff, but a sheepish Nigerian guy who later admitted his brother had written it the resume for him. His brother was head of a "resume writing service" he ran out of his home. I suspect he didn't really file taxes for his "business."

    3. The guy doing the porn browsing was a temp, who was let go when we didn't need him anymore. He was testing a script that would load web pages and time the results (for web caching metrics). Man, I wished we could have fired that guy because of all the f*^*$%ng trojans he put on our test machines, but he was a 3 month hire, and we opted to not keep him when his contract was up. In his defense, loading 15 of the top (non porn) websites our company got with a stopwatch over and over was mindlessly dull work to do for 8 hours a day. But that's why we hired a temp. He did claim he was an MCSE, though, but we got a lot of applicants who got a lot of certifications from overseas places that were hard to verify. "You were a CS major at a Yugoslavian University? Which is now a pile of rubble?" At least with an MCSE or a CCNA, you can call them and verify, but HR didn't do that with their annoying negligence. But as you can see, we didn't NEED an MCSE to do that work (even though HR put it as a requirement).

    4. The CCNA guy I did not interview personally, but a coworker's boss did. He did really point out a thermostat on the wall even though he was RIGHT NEXT to a rack of Cisco 2500s and 7500s.

    5. The guy who minored in philosophy who asked that question to the PhD really reached out, didn't he? He's a long-time friend of mine, and cohort in our IT shenanigans. He asked as a private joke, like one guy with a useless degree to another, but when the guy didn't KNOW philosophy, we smelled a rat, even though it wasn't a requirement. Turned out he lied about a lot of stuff. We didn't hire him for those reasons, but the philosophy thing was too good not to share.

    Just... wanted to clarify a few things. But as a writer, I am used to editors changing stuff around. MOST of that was dead accurate, so the concept of HR's moron hiring policies was pretty accurate.
  • Pete 2008-10-08 16:54
    It's not two hands, it's two fingers. What's wrong with an external mouse or control-clicking?
  • antistotle 2008-10-08 17:52
    RBoy:

    At the very least, I know that in capitalist system, it costs way too much for poor people to be able to afford their eros.


    Given the birth rate of the poor it's rather obvious that eros is something they *can* afford.
  • Vombatus 2008-10-08 17:57
    Wow, a PhD in Philosophy...

    He eventually got a job with the Department of Redundancy Department.
  • North Bus 2008-10-08 17:58
    jspenguin:
    HR:
    Qualcomm?


    The first company I thought of was Comcast... I've heard horror stories from people dealing with them. I haven't dealt with them since they're not the cable provider around here.


    I work for Qualcomm. I (unfortunately) buy services from Comcast. I agree with jspenguin's estimate.

    (Besides, we don't even make routers at Qualcomm.)
  • sribe 2008-10-08 18:01
    "Using an Apple notebook, where you get to use only one button and not even a touchpad tapping to simulate click"

    Perhaps you should take a moment to look in the "Trackpad" section of "System Preferences".
  • psb 2008-10-08 18:03
    Grig Larson:
    In his defense, loading 15 of the top (non porn) websites our company got with a stopwatch over and over was mindlessly dull work to do for 8 hours a day.


    There are tools that do that. There have been tools that do that for years!

    JMeter for one.

    All those trojans were for nothing, really.
  • Montoya 2008-10-08 18:22
    CTRL + click, you noob.
  • Bappi 2008-10-08 18:32
    sribe:
    "Using an Apple notebook, where you get to use only one button and not even a touchpad tapping to simulate click"

    Perhaps you should take a moment to look in the "Trackpad" section of "System Preferences".

    Why would he let the facts get in the way of his opinion?
  • svm_invictvs 2008-10-08 18:59
    If I caught an employee browsing porn at work, I'd pretend I didn't see it then ask him to stand up and get me something...
  • EXH 2008-10-08 19:15
    Spectere:
    I'm sorry, Apple, but I doubt I'd be able to give up my 18-year-long habit of resting my fingers on the mouse while I work just to suit a silly gimmick like touch-sensitive "buttons."


    So use whatever mouse you like. You wouldn't use whatever piece-o-junk mouse that came with a Windows box, either, would you?

    Apple's still all about the single-button mouse, but at least OS X finally supports higher-end mice.


    "Finally"? It always has. Even the highly craptastic "Classic" Mac OS supported multi-button mice out of the box.

    Let's just say, I hope that they finally fixed that thing with Exposé (and possibly other features, I don't really know) that allows you to bind a certain function to one of 64 mouse buttons. Yikes.


    What the hell are you talking about? (And yes, that mouse has 8 buttons.) I swear, the only people more stupid than Mac fanbois are Mac bashers.
  • Some Random Jedi Master 2008-10-08 19:18
    Qualification matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my qualifications, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Router, and a powerful ally it is. Whether we're talking plumbing, electricity... Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Router around you; here, between you, me, the conference room table, the thermostat, everywhere, yes. Even between the resume and the applicant.
  • alegr 2008-10-08 19:32
    Some Random Jedi Master:
    Qualification matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my qualifications, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Router, and a powerful ally it is. Whether we're talking plumbing, electricity... Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Router around you; here, between you, me, the conference room table, the thermostat, everywhere, yes. Even between the resume and the applicant.


    Everybody knows routers connect series of tubes...
  • danixdefcon5 2008-10-08 19:56
    Jay:
    gabba:
    Gotta respect CommQuack. Not every company has the expertise to interview a philosopher intelligently.


    True. My company once hired a philosophy major to be a software engineer after an inadequate interview, only later to discover that he was completely unable to implement Anselm's Ontological Argument in Java.
    I know at least one thing that you can do:

    public boolean hamlet() {
    return (2B || !2B);
    }
  • phd 2008-10-08 20:34
    And then there was the "Dr. Applicant" who proudly touted his PhD in philosophy. On a hunch, one of the interviewers who happened to have an undergraduate in philosophy asked, "so tell me, what is Kant's Categorical Imperative, and how would you live your life by it?" The question was met with a blank stare.


    I would venture that had the interviewer asked the average Bachelor of Arts about French impressionist painters because the applicant had an arts degree, that he would similarly be met with a blank stare. Asking a Ph.D. (literally, doctor of philosophy) a specialized question on deontological ethics is no less absurd.
  • Mappy 2008-10-08 22:15
    Mr. Buttle may have learned his mousing ways in a day or two. With all that porn, has he mastered the art of left handed surfing?
  • dubious 2008-10-08 22:37
    North Bus:
    (Besides, we don't even make routers at Qualcomm.)


    Then how do you control the furnace when it gets cold out?
  • Bappi 2008-10-08 22:47
    phd:
    And then there was the "Dr. Applicant" who proudly touted his PhD in philosophy. On a hunch, one of the interviewers who happened to have an undergraduate in philosophy asked, "so tell me, what is Kant's Categorical Imperative, and how would you live your life by it?" The question was met with a blank stare.


    I would venture that had the interviewer asked the average Bachelor of Arts about French impressionist painters because the applicant had an arts degree, that he would similarly be met with a blank stare. Asking a Ph.D. (literally, doctor of philosophy) a specialized question on deontological ethics is no less absurd.

    But if your Ph.D. is specifically in philosophy, you should be able to answer elementary questions. For crying out loud, I don't have a Ph.D., and I studied nothing like philosophy, but I was taught about Kant's Categorical Imperative. It's like asking a Math Ph.D. what 2+2 is.
  • Iago 2008-10-08 22:47
    danixdefcon5:
    Jay:


    True. My company once hired a philosophy major to be a software engineer after an inadequate interview, only later to discover that he was completely unable to implement Anselm's Ontological Argument in Java.
    I know at least one thing that you can do:

    public boolean hamlet() {
    return (2B || !2B);
    }


    How about a bit of NUnit? :

    <test>Public class Bec{
    Assert.IsReasonable("existance of Superior Being");
    }
  • Eternal Density 2008-10-08 22:57
    Op:
    The upshot of this is that this meant that if you were qualified but not referred by someone in HR, you didn't get hired. The upshot of this is that a lot of unqualified boobs got browsed.
    ftfy
  • Nerf Herder 2008-10-08 23:14
    Grig Larson:
    Um... as the original writer of this piece, I have to say there are some rather...


    Just curious - what kind of name is Grig? I've never run across that name before. I assumed it was Greg misspelled but apparently not.
  • James 2008-10-08 23:25
    [quote user="realmerlyn"][quote]Hey, stop dissing on the Mac, using your decade-old view of what a Mac does. OS9 and OS X have had completely integrated support for multi-button mice from the beginning. Be nice.[/quote]

    If Apple isn't all about the one-button mouse, tell me this quote from the Apple page isn't representative of the company getting dragged along by Microsoft kicking and screaming:

    "Alas the fate of the one-button mouse in today’s multibutton world. Who has time for intuitive, elegant design when there is so much clicking to do?"

    captcha: vulputate (Is that when you cut a fox's head off?)
  • Duke of New York 2008-10-08 23:27
    This is what happens when the HR department looks for people whose most specific qualification for the job is being "good with computers."
  • Nigel 2008-10-08 23:57
    sribe:
    "Using an Apple notebook, where you get to use only one button and not even a touchpad tapping to simulate click"

    Perhaps you should take a moment to look in the "Trackpad" section of "System Preferences".


    The multi-touch and tapping options are not on by default? Why?
  • phd 2008-10-09 00:17
    But if your Ph.D. is specifically in philosophy, you should be able to answer elementary questions. For crying out loud, I don't have a Ph.D., and I studied nothing like philosophy, but I was taught about Kant's Categorical Imperative. It's like asking a Math Ph.D. what 2+2 is.


    If he truly had postgraduate experience in philosophy, then I am more inclined to agree with you, although I can still empathize with an interviewee caught off-guard by a personal philosophical question at an interview for a CS position. It's also not given how much time had elapsed since the degree was ostensibly issued: it is plausible that the interviewee had failed to find employment in the economic powerhouse that is philosophy, and instead progressed to a computer science career with the philosophy degree serving as only an indicator of his intellectual capacity. After many years in an unrelated field, it is natural that much of the underlying knowledge would atrophy.

    This is not to defend the applicant, and were I the interviewer I would certainly consider the applicant's nondescript response as rationale for demanding additional verification of the degree. (And, of course, exclude the candidate from consideration were it fraudulant, from a degree mill, etc.) But I think to dismiss an applicant based on a random question wholly unrelated to to the position, if that was what was done here, is inappropriate.
  • christophocles 2008-10-09 00:47
    "CTRL + click, you noob."

    Don't you still think it's crappy that Apple will not include a physical button for something used as FREQUENTLY as right-click? I'd estimate that I right-click about 50-75% as often as I left-click, and I could not tolerate having to use my OTHER hand to hold the CTRL key every time I wanted to right-click. It takes two hands to properly use a freaking trackpad or mouse, that's what I'd call inconvenient. Sure, this may be fixable with tapping features (i.e. set two-finger tap to be right-click), but I'm not even sure this is possible on any notebook other than the Air. I sure ain't buyin it.
  • Bob... Billy Bob 2008-10-09 01:06
    The real WTF is all the crying mac users and apple fanbois with hurt feelings attempting to justify the laughable design choice of a single buttoned mouse as though it were the pinnacle of user interface enlightenment.

    I'm embarressed for you.
  • 50% Opacity 2008-10-09 01:07
    christophocles:
    Sure, this may be fixable with tapping features (i.e. set two-finger tap to be right-click), but I'm not even sure this is possible on any notebook other than the Air.


    Has been possible on all Apple portables for years now.

    The general idea behind the one-button-only approach is to discourage software developers to rely on the right click. They want them to spend a little more time thinking about how to make a good, intuitive interface instead of cramming every new feature that doesn't fit into the toolbar anymore into a context menu.

    "If you really care about software, you make your own hardware."

    PS: two-finger right click > secondary button right click
  • Mizzy 2008-10-09 01:09
    Dazed:
    Another gentleman's résumé was two pages long.

    A couple of years ago we needed someone who was fairly experienced for a consultancy position. One of the CV's submitted was indeed just two pages long, with everything described so briefly that one really couldn't tell what he'd done. But another one was - wait for it - forty-eight pages long! It's the only time I've rejected a candidate without reading his CV.


    I never submit a resume longer than a page. I seriously don't expect the company to read more, so I put everything important on one page. It also forces you to only submit *relevant* experience. No one wants a life story.
  • Nick 2008-10-09 01:10
    Dazed:
    Another gentleman's résumé was two pages long.

    A couple of years ago we needed someone who was fairly experienced for a consultancy position. One of the CV's submitted was indeed just two pages long, with everything described so briefly that one really couldn't tell what he'd done. But another one was - wait for it - forty-eight pages long! It's the only time I've rejected a candidate without reading his CV.

    My family owns a retail clothing store, we once had an applicant for a salesperson position submit a 57 page PDF resume, it described EVERYTHING he did in every job he has had. He was only mid twenties too.
  • 50% Opacity 2008-10-09 01:18
    Nick:
    ...it described EVERYTHING he did in every job he has had. He was only mid twenties too.


    You mean he saved his Twitter feed to PDF?

    9:15am Just got in, hate the traffic.
    10:00am Working on that new project, it's actually fun.
    11:23am Took a piss, anybody up for a smoke?
  • jwenting 2008-10-09 01:53
    Steeldragon:
    Op:
    The upshot of this is that this meant that if you were qualified but not referred by someone in HR, you didn't get hired. The upshot of this is that a lot of unqualified boobs got hired.

    shouldnt that be downshot...and 1st finally
    good story btw


    not for HR. Those unqualified people get quickly fired again, causing a need for more people to be hired (thus more bonusses for HR).
  • Duke of New York 2008-10-09 02:08
    Mizzy:
    I never submit a resume longer than a page. I seriously don't expect the company to read more, so I put everything important on one page. It also forces you to only submit *relevant* experience. No one wants a life story.

    CVs running several pages are the norm in Europe, where it is more difficult to get rid of someone you hired by mistake.
  • OutWithTheTroll 2008-10-09 02:35
    EXH:
    What the hell are you talking about? (And yes, that mouse has 8 buttons.) I swear, the only people more stupid than Mac fanbois are Mac bashers.


    Mine has 7 and works like a charm on my Mac and PC.
    Both systems have their merits and flaws.
  • AdT 2008-10-09 03:53
    jordanwb:
    Certainly took them long enough. Windows had multibutton mouses in Windows 3.1 (possibly earlier)


    Yes, but unfortunately, Windows still sucks. For example, Vista's network performance is a sick joke.
  • ch. 2008-10-09 04:04

    Btw what about the missing delete key?
  • Arancaytar 2008-10-09 04:11
    SeekerDarksteel:
    Chalito:

    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system, yet it always seems to fail in practice. What you end up with is people trying to get the "most" of anyting that's comissioned (sales, referrals whatever) instead of the best.


    Congratulations, you've just realised the main problem with improperly executed capitalism :)


    FTFY.

    In a properly functioning capitalist system, producers are rewarded for producing the highest quality product for the lowest cost by selling an increased volume of product. The problem in the commission system described in this story is that it fails to reward quality properly. This is a fault in the commission system, rather than the idea of capitalism.


    So... capitalism only fails when it is improperly executed, which (witness current events) it basically always is, while communism always fails in practice?
  • Arancaytar 2008-10-09 04:12
    Frenchier than thou:
    immitto:
    tsr:
    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system

    So what capital (means of production) do the people getting the commissions have?

    Whatever they pull the candidates out of....


    Hence the term "assets".

    (Pardon me, that should be buttets.)
  • AdT 2008-10-09 04:21
    Kiss me I'm Polish:
    Using an Apple notebook, where you get to use only one button and not even a touchpad tapping to simulate clicks, I always feel like somebody just cut my fingers. I've just recently discovered they had some cryptic multitouch, which involves putting your TWO hands on the touchpad.
    I'm sorry, it's difficult to be nice ;,(


    It's ostensibly even more difficult to be informed. I won't give you a lecture about all of the factual mistakes in your post as others have done so before me.

    However, I find it fascinating how long time Windows users, when using a Mac, notice that many things are different and are then very eager to conclude that they are worse, when it's all a question of

    a) Finding out how to do things on a Mac.
    b) Getting used to it.

    If you don't like to do that, fine, but don't rail about how Macs ought to follow the One Microsoft Way. If Apple did that, they could just cease business for the world doesn't need another Dell. Creativity and conformity have always been opposing poles.

    A coworker used to using Dell computers (notice how no one likes to use Dell, HP or Lenovo trackpads, they all lug their mice around with them rsp. use the trackpoint?) wanted to show me something yesterday on my MacBook Pro (no mouse), running a Windows XP VM. At first he was aghast because he couldn't figure out how to right-click. I then enabled two-finger tapping in the System Preferences and showed him how to do it (I prefer ctrl-clicking, but that's just me). He was astonished. He then used the cursor keys to scroll up and down in a source file, so I asked him what he was doing and showed him how he could use two-finger scrolling on the trackpad. This almost knocked him off his feet. He later tried to enable the same tricks on his Dell Inspiron, but that didn't work.

    Finally, I want to clarify on the emergence of "multi-touch" on Mac trackpads. Right-clicking and scrolling with two fingers have been supported on all Mac trackpads for years (myne olde PowerBook G4 from the January 2005 series did, for one). The new multi-touch trackpads found on MacBook Air and the Penryn MacBook Pro (which I have) add support for gestures with three fingers as well as more complex two finger gestures:

    Pinching with two fingers to zoom in and out
    Swiping with three fingers to flip pages
    Rotating with two fingers in order to, err, rotate images or other graphical objects

    Using third-party tools such as MultiClutch, it is also possible to map these gestures to application-dependent keyboard shortcuts. This allowed me to add pinching (for zooming) and swiping (for going forward or back) support to Firefox 3, for example. Zooming is slow in Firefox (much slower than in Safari), but it's still much more convenient than using the keyboard.
  • rainer 2008-10-09 05:04
    christophocles:
    "CTRL + click, you noob."

    Don't you still think it's crappy that Apple will not include a physical button for something used as FREQUENTLY as right-click? I'd estimate that I right-click about 50-75% as often as I left-click, and I could not tolerate having to use my OTHER hand to hold the CTRL key every time I wanted to right-click.


    99 per cent of Windows users don't know the right button exists, even if it's right before their eyes (yes, that statistic is made-up on the spot, but it corresponds to my personal experience). Face it, the right button is for highly advanced users way above the average.

    Personally, as a Linux user I care much more about the middle button (paste, except for brain-dead apps that emulate stupid MS behaviour).
  • havokk 2008-10-09 05:21
    The one-button mouse was responsible for the worst atrocity in user interface design, the double-click.

    Ever tried to teach a complete newbie how to double-click? It's painful.

    To be fair to Apple, Douglas Engelbart's original mouse only had one button, though I believe that was a technical limitation and Englebart always wanted it to have 3 buttons.

    B
  • ClaudeSuck.de 2008-10-09 05:41
    Kernschatten:
    They're both downshots


    boobs should always be upshot. I don't like it when they are downshot.
  • ClaudeSuck.de 2008-10-09 05:43
    Mike Aukherts:
    I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system

    I don't think that word means what you think it means.


    cabbi... cabitili... shubby... cabbilishhhhdick... hick, cabbilishit
  • 50% Opacity 2008-10-09 06:10
    havokk:
    The one-button mouse was responsible for the worst atrocity in user interface design, the double-click.

    Ever tried to teach a complete newbie how to double-click? It's painful.


    Ever had users ask you "right click or left click"?
    Both are painful, really. And Windows uses *both* techniques extensively... ;-)
  • itsmo 2008-10-09 06:24
    Bob... Billy Bob:
    The real WTF is all the crying mac users and apple fanbois with hurt feelings attempting to justify the laughable design choice of a single buttoned mouse as though it were the pinnacle of user interface enlightenment.

    I'm embarrassed for you.


    There - fixed that for you (don't be embarressed)
  • Claxon 2008-10-09 06:33
    ClaudeSuck.de:
    Kernschatten:
    They're both downshots


    boobs should always be upshot. I don't like it when they are downshot.


    The shot direction is irrelevant, it's lighting levels that makes all the difference!
  • Fanik 2008-10-09 07:13
    Bob... Billy Bob:
    The real WTF is all the crying mac users and apple fanbois with hurt feelings attempting to justify the laughable design choice of a single buttoned mouse as though it were the pinnacle of user interface enlightenment.


    No, TRWTF is using mouse button at all: http://www.dontclick.it/
  • Grig Larson 2008-10-09 07:18
    - RE: "There are tools that do that. There have been tools that do that for years!"

    Yes, and my department built one. But to make sure it worked, we had to hire someone to do a parallel test manually. This was also back in 1999, and there weren't a whole lot of "web speed tools" back then.

    - RE: What kind of name is "Grig?"

    It's Swedish, short for Gregory.
  • JoJo 2008-10-09 07:56
    BottomCod3r:

    At my company, we make sure to hire competent engeneers by using a process with no less than 12 interviews. Sometimes, they would do multiple interviews the same day with a math test in the end of the day.

    PS: I am a TopCod3r biggest fan !


    12 Interviews? Pah! First we make them battle their way through the Valley of Death armed only with an HP 12C and then cross the bottomless Pit of Doom using a subset of Cobol and finally hey have to open the Immovable Gate of Thotharoth by solving Fermat's Last Theorem. And that's just to get in the front door....
  • Benanov 2008-10-09 08:09
    I'm fairly sure that I'm not the first to come up with this sort of thing--to the point that my company only provides most of the referral bonus after 6 months, both as a rate limiter and as a quality check.

    Since neither of those restrictions are in place (yes this is a case of hindsight influencing foresight), this program is ripe for abuse.

    So much in fact that all attempts to change it will be rebuffed.

  • MacUser 2008-10-09 09:39
    "...even right clicking (take that, Mac applicant)!"

    The author never uses a Mac. Any Mac user can right-click with the one-button Mighty Mouse. Do your homework.
  • Endo808 2008-10-09 09:57
    "The upshot of this is that a lot of unqualified boobs got hired"

    Am I the only person this really annoys?

    And upshot is a positive thing UP-SHOT i.e the point at which a downward curve shoots back up again. The opposite of an upshot is a downfall or perhaps better for this sentence a downside.

    Unless you think it's a good thing that lots of unqualified boobs got hired?!
  • Adi 2008-10-09 10:18
    When I google search for it, the first link is this article.. Amusing..

    http://www.google.com/search?q=capilistic
  • Lady Nocturne 2008-10-09 10:23
    Bob:
    Was it Mr. Buttle, in the server room with the candlestick er... I mean mouse?


    "I'm a butler."

    "What do you do?"

    "I buttle, sir."
  • Mr B 2008-10-09 10:26
    Endo808:
    "The upshot of this is that a lot of unqualified boobs got hired"

    Am I the only person this really annoys?

    And upshot is a positive thing UP-SHOT i.e the point at which a downward curve shoots back up again. The opposite of an upshot is a downfall or perhaps better for this sentence a downside.

    Unless you think it's a good thing that lots of unqualified boobs got hired?!


    It would annoy me, *if* it had been used incorrectly.

    "Upshot" just means "the final outcome". It comes from archery where the "upshot" is the last shot of the match. There's no positive or negative connotations, apart from the fact that it has "up" at the start of it, which doesn't have to indicate a positive (you cheeky upstart, etc...)

    :)
  • Someone who doesn't invent their own definitions 2008-10-09 10:29
    Endo808:
    "The upshot of this is that a lot of unqualified boobs got hired"

    Am I the only person this really annoys?

    And upshot is a positive thing UP-SHOT i.e the point at which a downward curve shoots back up again. The opposite of an upshot is a downfall or perhaps better for this sentence a downside.

    Unless you think it's a good thing that lots of unqualified boobs got hired?!

    http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=upshot
  • usitas 2008-10-09 10:40
    danixdefcon5:
    Jay:
    gabba:
    Gotta respect CommQuack. Not every company has the expertise to interview a philosopher intelligently.


    True. My company once hired a philosophy major to be a software engineer after an inadequate interview, only later to discover that he was completely unable to implement Anselm's Ontological Argument in Java.
    I know at least one thing that you can do:

    public boolean hamlet() {
    return (2B || !2B);
    }


    Refactor:

    public boolean hamlet() {
    return true;
    }
  • Robert S. Robbins 2008-10-09 10:55
    In Pennsylvania, you just send home all the job applicants dressed like the Amish.
  • Smash King 2008-10-09 14:00
    MacUser:
    "...even right clicking (take that, Mac applicant)!"

    The author never uses a Mac. Any Mac user can right-click with the one-button Mighty Mouse. Do your homework.
    Well, technically you're right in the sense that there is no other button to the right of its first and single button, and a click would be a left-click as much as a right-click. But I still want to have a button to open the context menu...
  • your name 2008-10-09 17:18
    They obviously did the referrels wrong and so many of the posters here fail to understand that. The only way to make referrels work is to place a bounty on employees that STAY. My company pays referrels only on people that stick around for 90 days.
  • 50% Opacity 2008-10-10 00:14
    Mr B:
    Endo808:
    Unless you think it's a good thing that lots of unqualified boobs got hired?!

    It would annoy me, *if* it had been used incorrectly.


    I don't care if he's using upshot correctly or not, or whether the hires are qualified or not, just get me some boobs!
  • the amazing null 2008-10-10 14:04
    Kiss me I'm Polish:
    jordanwb:
    realmerlyn:
    even right clicking (take that, Mac applicant)


    Hey, stop dissing on the Mac, using your decade-old view of what a Mac does. OS9 and OS X have had completely integrated support for multi-button mice from the beginning. Be nice.


    Certainly took them long enough. Windows had multibutton mouses in Windows 3.1 (possibly earlier)

    Using an Apple notebook, where you get to use only one button and not even a touchpad tapping to simulate clicks, I always feel like somebody just cut my fingers. I've just recently discovered they had some cryptic multitouch, which involves putting your TWO hands on the touchpad.
    I'm sorry, it's difficult to be nice ;,(


    yeah... or if the laptop was made in the last 6 years or so, you could just turn on the touch pad tap.

    if it was made in the last 3.5 or so, you could even turn on the "use two fingers on the tap as a control click" feature. as an OSX user, i can tell you there are enough things to rag on apple about. let's just give up the mouse myths once and for all though.

    you can multitouch one-handed. you can right click and all that.

    now, if someone could explain why some mac apps fake monitor burn in and squeeky key strokes as an aesthetic, that is something i would love to know...
  • Worldwalker 2008-10-10 14:19
    Someone who doesn't invent their own definitions:


    That was the most annoying interface I've seen in a long time. Things kept popping up all the time because I got too close to a button or something. The three other interface examples were even worse: they required too much precision of movement, for one thing, and the time-delay button was slow.

    It looks like the whole thing was designed from the point of view of "how can we build an interface without the Evil Mouse Click?" instead of "how can we build an interface that does the job better than what we have now?"

    Nice try, next time.
  • christophocles 2008-10-10 22:25
    notice how no one likes to use Dell, HP or Lenovo trackpads, they all lug their mice around with them rsp. use the trackpoint?


    I like my Dell trackpad just fine, thanks. I enable scrolling on the right and bottom edges, and middle click is a top-left-corner tap. Works pretty good. And I do bring my mouse with me, but that's only for doing serious work that needs to be done rapidly. Trackpads are slower and harder to control than a mouse. I'll admit that Apple's trackpad is nicer than any other (other than the inferior one-button design), but I would still prefer a 2-button+scroll mouse over *any* trackpad, including Apple's.

    And don't get me started on the delete key...

    by ch.:
    What mouse is that? It looks like a bluetooth version of the G5. I've never seen it before and can't find it on Logitech's website. I really want one now.
  • TK 2008-10-10 23:31
    BottomCod3r:
    At my company, we make sure to hire competent engeneers by using a process with no less than 12 interviews.


    You just described my current employer.

    In addition to the crapload of interviews, it took just under a month for their approval process to complete. VP, CEO, CFO, and a hiring committee all have to approve all new hires individually. (Of course, the hiring committee is completely separate from all the people I interviewed, who also must say yes.)

    This in a company of several thousand employees.

    Although the hiring process was a big WTF, I've enjoyed the job itself so far.
  • Rowan 2008-10-11 06:47
    His MSCE was from the mid 80's.
  • D0R 2008-10-13 09:11
    You have to admit that, if you draw four arrows on a thermostat knob, it looks very like to a router icon...

    As for Mr. Buttle, he didn't use a computer in the last 20 years?
  • Kafros 2008-10-13 09:29
    Comissions are good. You just need to put safeguards. If for example HR employee 1 has approved more than 2 employees that got fired with x-months, then you fire the HR employee (you also pay the comission only if the new employee stays in place, is good, etc)
  • vlpronj 2008-10-13 09:56

    Why the mockery? On the first "Office Suite" I used, the Atari joystick controller was leaps and bounds ahead of keyboard-only desktop publishing. Of course, I've heard they did make mice eventually for Commodore 64s, but GEOS worked great - and I didn't usually make yard sale posters at the same time I played Yar's Revenge, anyway!
  • JimM 2008-10-14 09:25
    usitas:
    danixdefcon5:
    Jay:
    gabba:
    Gotta respect CommQuack. Not every company has the expertise to interview a philosopher intelligently.
    True. My company once hired a philosophy major to be a software engineer after an inadequate interview, only later to discover that he was completely unable to implement Anselm's Ontological Argument in Java.
    I know at least one thing that you can do:
    public boolean hamlet() {
    return (2B || !2B);
    }
    Refactor:
    public boolean hamlet() {
    return true;
    }
    Or, to actually make it vaguely resemble Hamlet:
    public soliloquy Hamlet() {
    2B || !2B? "'Tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows...": "Stuff that for a lark, I'm off down the boozer!";
    }
  • TekniCal 2008-10-14 12:31
    Jay:
    Chalito:

    I never really understood commissions, I mean on one hand it seems like a highly capilistic system, yet it always seems to fail in practice. What you end up with is people trying to get the "most" of anyting that's comissioned (sales, referrals whatever) instead of the best.


    Congratulations, you've just realised the main problem with capitalism :)


    While this may have happened at a basically capitalist institution, it is more typical of the problems of socialism. Under capitalism, people are rewarded in proportion to how they satisfy the customer efficiently. Give the customers what they want at a reasonable price, and they come back for more. Under socialism, people are rewarded in proportion to how they satisfy a bureaucrat's arbitrary rules, that have no direct relationship to satisfying the actual customer.

    Like in the United States for the past few years, banks have been rewarded by the government based on the number of mortgage loans they made to people from various demographic groups: basically they had to loan money to people from poor neighborhoods and to ethnic minorities. The probability that the money could be repaid was not a factor in the equation. (Well, except in the perverse sense that they were rewarded for loaning to poor people, and poor people are presumably less likely to be able to repay.) The results were a shocking surprise only to government officials.

    Good try, but it wasn't really like that, at all. The sub-prime lending fiasco was more like the Enron scandal. All of the institutions were effectively insuring each other's loans, and with deregulation, they set up incentive deals a LOT like the CommQuack HR people's.

    Optimistic projections
    cheaper insurance
    ???
    Profit!!!

    (At least, until the whole thing came crashing down.)

    The problem had a lot more to do with fat cats than with po' folk.

    Captcha: odio (I agree)

    Many commission schemes give counter-productive results because they are arbitrary and poorly thought out. Like, a company I worked for many years ago considered giving programmers bonuses based on lines of code produced. They never implemented the plan, which is too bad, because I had it all worked out how to make a bundle. Like, never write "x=x+7;". Instead write "x=x+1;" seven times. Never use a loop, just copy and paste the same code repeatedly. Etc.

    In this case, an obvious better plan would be to pay the commission only if the new hire proved to be a good choice, like if he got a favorable rating on his first annual review or some such. Also, it creates a pretty obvious conflict of interest if an employee gets a bonus when a candidate that he proposes is hired, and that same employee or his friends have a say in which candidates are hired. That's like saying that the coach of one of the teams is also the umpire.
  • DeLos 2008-10-15 12:18
    JMeter only gets the time that it takes to request headers. It does not count rendering time in multiple browsers. I haven't found a tool that does that yet.
  • Raedwald 2008-10-17 08:31
    Jay:
    My company once hired a philosophy major to be a software engineer after an inadequate interview, only later to discover that he was completely unable to implement Anselm's Ontological Argument in Java.


    So, he was not perfectly good, and therefore no longer exists are your company?
  • zdux 2011-01-04 12:29
    One reason these companies get bad candidates is that it is common place in some countries (that rhyme with Bindia) to have a qualified individual (PhD) to take an over-the-phone-interview in place of the actual candidate. This became apparent to my company when the employees who arrived could not pass the exact same interview which they had previously passed with flying colors over the phone. When confronted with this one individual said that he did not see a problem with this practice as the phone-interviewee was an example of what the individual would become after gaining more experience.
  • Omega 2012-11-14 10:36
    jordanwb:
    realmerlyn:
    even right clicking (take that, Mac applicant)


    Hey, stop dissing on the Mac, using your decade-old view of what a Mac does. OS9 and OS X have had completely integrated support for multi-button mice from the beginning. Be nice.


    Certainly took them long enough. Windows had multibutton mouses in Windows 3.1 (possibly earlier)


    Earlier indeed. I used a 3-button Logitech mouse on my PC-AT, in DOS 6.22. Fairly sure earlier DOS versions also supported conventio 2-button (or more) mice.
  • Omega 2012-11-14 10:53
    50% Opacity:
    havokk:
    The one-button mouse was responsible for the worst atrocity in user interface design, the double-click.

    Ever tried to teach a complete newbie how to double-click? It's painful.


    Ever had users ask you "right click or left click"?
    Both are painful, really. And Windows uses *both* techniques extensively... ;-)


    I really hate when something, usually a game, maps an important function to clicking BOTH mouse buttons. And you usually can't even remap in such cases.

    I really should get a multi-button mouse, then I'd be able to map an extra button to do that function. And feel very vindico.