• Rodnas (unregistered)

    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

  • Drew (unregistered)

    Post-first

  • jvanderb (cs)

    TRWTF is that the bounce message has someone's resume on it!

  • Altair (unregistered) in reply to Rodnas
    Rodnas:
    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

    What's your HR email address, I think I'd be perfect for that position.

    My assassination skills are a bit rusty, but I'm working on it.

    Captcha: Similis, sounds painful

  • Wolfan (unregistered)

    Why not just pay the Network Engineer to go get his CDL?

  • dpm (cs)

    Gloves.

  • Beaudetious (unregistered)

    I never interviewed at a Denny's but I did once have a meeting with a potential client over dinner at the Cracker Barrel. And she paid for it.

    However, I never did hear back from her (probably a good thing on my part). Maybe I should have picked a better restaurant?

  • toth (cs)
    in the mid-to-late 80's & mdash;

    Whitespace, you've screwed over yet another poor soul.

  • galgorah (cs) in reply to Rodnas
    Rodnas:
    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

    I am quite well versed in both professions. We will never meet. All fund will be direct deposited into a swiss bank acount. Upon reciept of money I will fix the bug and "Dispose()" of the target.

  • NoAstronomer (unregistered) in reply to Wolfan
    Wolfan:
    Why not just pay the Network Engineer to go get his CDL?

    Because that would like, you know, cost money and stuff. Besides once they were trained they'd probably quit and go work as a bus-driver.

  • Will (unregistered)

    I thought for sure that the bus driver/programmer story was going to end with him driving away with the fire hose data cable still attached.

  • Unknown User (unregistered)

    The last one was funny, but isn't as far-fetched as it sounds. At my university, but campus bus drivers were students. Those buses weren't double-deckers, but they were huge. If the students didn't already need a CDL to operate them, they would at least have had the experience to get one easily. I am sure that there was a computer science / bus driver out there somewhere.

  • Aaron (cs)

    Errr, I believe that the "ride share" concept is for people who all have cars. You find two (or more) people who live and work relatively close together and set up a sort of carpool. Of course it doesn't have to be work, it could be any engagement (say the gym).

    It's not a tool for any schmoe to bum a ride, and it's not even remotely like taking a bus. If anything, it's like taking a taxi, but for a tiny fraction of the cost. You split the cost of gas and if you're lucky get 30 minutes of decent conversation instead of road rage.

    The real problem is the number of free sites that already do the same thing (minus the background checks, which seems like a marginal benefit at best). The service is useful, just generally not very profitable, and works best on an ad-supported model.

    Or maybe TRWTF was that the guy was really trying to run it like a bus service instead of a carpool service. It wasn't very clear.

  • John (unregistered)

    Oddly enough, I am a computer programmer with commercial bus driving experience. The busses at my college were all driven by students. It was a great part time job.

  • Jeff Jason (unregistered) in reply to Unknown User

    Hey there,

    A guy I work with just alerted me to this post because I am a software developer with a CDL and CS degree!

    I went to the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and we have a bus system with approx 120 student drivers. We trained each one of them to get their CDLs and, like any organization with 150+ employees, we have an IT/MIS department. With the decently cheap student workforce of educated people we realized that we could produce a lot of our own in-house software for a relatively low price. So over time that MIS department has turned into a little php/ruby bus driver/programmer production factory.

    I am one of at least 5 developers with a CDL that have come out of there in the last 5 years.

    :-)

  • snoofle (cs) in reply to Rodnas
    Rodnas:
    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

    Dear Sir, I feel that I would be perfect for the role of programmer/assassin. I would be happy to demonstrate my programming skills on your computer and my assassin-skills, on you...

  • Grovesy (unregistered) in reply to galgorah
    galgorah:
    Rodnas:
    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

    I am quite well versed in both professions. We will never meet. All fund will be direct deposited into a swiss bank acount. Upon reciept of money I will fix the bug and "Dispose()" of the target.

    Only if you can Guarantee ~Target()

    /groan

  • connect2reality (unregistered)

    Why not hire a bus driver and network analyst separately?

  • Mortal (unregistered)

    Want to hire dual cla.ssing programmer/herbalist min 400, pm me

  • iToad (unregistered) in reply to NoAstronomer
    NoAstronomer:
    Wolfan:
    Why not just pay the Network Engineer to go get his CDL?

    Because that would like, you know, cost money and stuff. Besides once they were trained they'd probably quit and go work as a bus-driver.

    With better pay, better hours, and no emergency phone calls in the middle of the night.

  • iToad (unregistered) in reply to NoAstronomer
    NoAstronomer:
    Wolfan:
    Why not just pay the Network Engineer to go get his CDL?

    Because that would like, you know, cost money and stuff. Besides once they were trained they'd probably quit and go work as a bus-driver.

    With better pay, better hours, and no emergency phone calls in the middle of the night.

  • JL (unregistered)

    "The Automated Interview" matches my experience of the reading-for-comprehension skills of HR people.

  • Vollhorst (unregistered) in reply to Grovesy
    Grovesy:
    galgorah:
    Rodnas:
    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

    I am quite well versed in both professions. We will never meet. All fund will be direct deposited into a swiss bank acount. Upon reciept of money I will fix the bug and "Dispose()" of the target.

    Only if you can Guarantee ~Target()

    /groan

    Calling the destructor of an object does not delete it...

    /yawn

  • Stephen (unregistered)

    The CDL/network engineer doesn't seem all that far-fetched to me. I for one have a class A CDL, since I drove a truck before becoming a network administrator and now developer.

  • evilspoons (cs) in reply to iToad
    iToad:
    NoAstronomer:
    Wolfan:
    Why not just pay the Network Engineer to go get his CDL?

    Because that would like, you know, cost money and stuff. Besides once they were trained they'd probably quit and go work as a bus-driver.

    With better pay, better hours, and no emergency phone calls in the middle of the night.

    And if it's anything like the transit system in my city (my dad was a bus driver for 35 years) - retarded management that doesn't allow bus drivers to properly enforce management's rules (fare collection? HA!), the overwhelming impression from the public that you're an asshole before you've done anything good or bad, and the constant threat of the passengers themselves. My dad retired early - another driver who started the same time as him recently made national news because he was beat within an inch of his life by an arrogant, drunk prick of a passenger.

    Nitpick time: it is not "80's", unless the number 80 is possessing something ("robot 80's terrible decision led him to the brink of sanity").

    And I'll let Bob the Angry Flower carry us out: http://angryflower.com/aposter.html

  • Quicksilver (cs) in reply to Altair
    Altair:
    Rodnas:
    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

    What's your HR email address, I think I'd be perfect for that position.

    My assassination skills are a bit rusty, but I'm working on it.

    Captcha: Similis, sounds painful

    May be we could Team up ... My hacking skills are a bit rusty, though my assasination skills are top notch.

    I am usually working alone though this could be an educating experience.

    J.C.Denton

  • Garbage Collector (unregistered) in reply to Vollhorst
    Vollhorst:
    Grovesy:
    galgorah:
    Rodnas:
    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

    I am quite well versed in both professions. We will never meet. All fund will be direct deposited into a swiss bank acount. Upon reciept of money I will fix the bug and "Dispose()" of the target.

    Only if you can Guarantee ~Target()

    /groan

    Calling the destructor of an object does not delete it...

    /yawn

    When you're an assassin, sometimes your client doesn't want the destructed object deleted. Instead, it's supposed to be left in a prominent place in the heap "to send a message".

  • My Name? (unregistered) in reply to Vollhorst
    Vollhorst:
    Grovesy:
    galgorah:
    Rodnas:
    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

    I am quite well versed in both professions. We will never meet. All fund will be direct deposited into a swiss bank acount. Upon reciept of money I will fix the bug and "Dispose()" of the target.

    Only if you can Guarantee ~Target()

    /groan

    Calling the destructor of an object does not delete it...

    /yawn

    Right. Only the soul of that poor and unfortunate object is being deleted. The body is still there.

  • Whitespace (unregistered) in reply to toth
    toth:
    in the mid-to-late 80's & mdash;

    Whitespace, you've screwed over yet another poor soul.

    Hey, I had an '87 Oldsmobile Mdash back in the day. It's not my fault that guy jumped off the curb and under my wheels! I miss that car, I hated having to get rid of it when they started looking for whoever hit that guy.

  • anon (unregistered) in reply to jvanderb
    jvanderb:
    TRWTF is that the bounce message has someone's resume on it!

    Just because the agency mentions a resume it doesn't mean one was attached. Have you never dealt with with a recruiter?

  • bjolling (cs) in reply to Vollhorst
    Vollhorst:
    Grovesy:
    galgorah:
    Rodnas:
    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

    I am quite well versed in both professions. We will never meet. All fund will be direct deposited into a swiss bank acount. Upon reciept of money I will fix the bug and "Dispose()" of the target.

    Only if you can Guarantee ~Target()

    /groan

    Calling the destructor of an object does not delete it...

    /yawn

    Destructor? I thought he was talking about a C++\CLI finalizer.

    ~~ Third try ~~

  • My Name? (unregistered) in reply to Whitespace
    Whitespace:
    toth:
    in the mid-to-late 80's & mdash;

    Whitespace, you've screwed over yet another poor soul.

    Hey, I had an '87 Oldsmobile Mdash back in the day. It's not my fault that guy jumped off the curb and under my wheels! I miss that car, I hated having to get rid of it when they started looking for whoever hit that guy.

    Hope you learned from that to use proper & nbsp;-ing next time.

  • jvanderb (cs) in reply to anon
    anon:
    jvanderb:
    TRWTF is that the bounce message has someone's resume on it!

    Just because the agency mentions a resume it doesn't mean one was attached. Have you never dealt with with a recruiter?

    Duh...it's called sarcasm!

  • Aaron Priven (unregistered)

    As someone who works for a transit agency I am always impressed by the variety of skills our bus operators possess. I hired a graphics production person directly out of the operator pool.

  • Grovesy (unregistered) in reply to bjolling
    bjolling:
    Vollhorst:
    Grovesy:
    galgorah:
    Rodnas:
    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

    I am quite well versed in both professions. We will never meet. All fund will be direct deposited into a swiss bank acount. Upon reciept of money I will fix the bug and "Dispose()" of the target.

    Only if you can Guarantee ~Target()

    /groan

    Calling the destructor of an object does not delete it...

    /yawn

    Destructor? I thought he was talking about a C++\CLI finalizer.

    ~~ Third try ~~

    Yes, I was talking about .net Finalization, being that IDisposable.Dispose(); is a .net interface...

    And yes, I think everyone knows that a Finalizer in .net with MS's runtime does not actually 'destroy' the object, release memory or anything else but simply allow you a final chance to clean up any unmanaged resource before the GC does its job.

  • Anonymously Yours (unregistered) in reply to evilspoons

    Unfortunately I'm only qualified to drive a rig (for the purpose of this weak joke) and program.

    dpm:
    Gloves.
    Quoted for truth.
    evilspoons:
    Nitpick time: it is not "80's", unless the number 80 is possessing something ("robot 80's terrible decision led him to the brink of sanity").
    Nitpick nitpick time: Using an apostrophe to indicate a decade is a style choice in grammar and it's acceptable to write 80s or 80's. It has nothing to do with showing possession or indicating omitted letters in this case. http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~jlynch/Writing/a.html
  • anon (unregistered)
    major layoffs ... unfortunate few

    Anyone else find the first sentence a WTF?

  • Da' man (unregistered) in reply to toth
    toth:
    in the mid-to-late 80's & mdash;
    Whitespace, you've screwed over yet another poor soul.
    Actually, the RWFT is not even the whitespace inside the entity. The RWTF is the whitespace *around* it.

    Em-Dashes are usually set either without whitespaces surrounding them, or – if necessary – with so-called “hair spaces” (U+200A,  ).

    An En-Dashe (–) on the other hand would have to be set with word spaces. At least in this situation.

    Ah, the joys of typography :-)

  • Zylon (cs)

    This is the post where I point out all the grammatical errors in today's WTF, but since they seem to never, ever get corrected, I'm thinking I may as well not even bother anymore.

  • SR (unregistered) in reply to anon
    anon:
    major layoffs ... unfortunate few

    Anyone else find the first sentence a WTF?

    If I were the one being laid off I'd count it as major no matter how few layoffs there were.

  • SR (unregistered) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    This is the post where I point out all the grammatical errors in today's WTF, but since they seem to never, ever get corrected, I'm thinking I may as well not even bother anymore.

    I agree

  • eBusiness (cs) in reply to Rodnas
    Rodnas:
    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

    I'm not really an assassin, but I might be able to write a killer app to do the job.

  • Pffft! (unregistered) in reply to anon
    anon:
    major layoffs ... unfortunate few

    Anyone else find the first sentence a WTF?

    No, it's not a WTF until they start to lay off colonels.

  • Indrora (cs)

    I just &quote;<i>love</i>&quote; it when CMS systems try to &quot;sanitize&quot; my input;

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to SR
    SR:
    anon:
    major layoffs ... unfortunate few
    Anyone else find the first sentence a WTF?
    If I were the one being laid off I'd count it as major no matter how few layoffs there were.
    We got a memo round the office the other day which proudly announced "good news everyone - no wide-scale layoffs!!". So now everyone is shitting themselves about the small-scale layoffs that are clearly implied by the otherwise cheery message. Great way to reassure your staff.
  • Anon (unregistered)

    Yeah, I don't see a problem with the CDL. As several people have already pointed out in the states, at least, there are lots of student bus drivers. Also, how long does it take to get a CDL anyway? Couple of weeks? Maybe a month?

    TRWTF is that I can nip down to U-Haul and they'll happily give me a giant truck with a trailer to tow my car without even asking if I've ever driven anything like that before.

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Rodnas
    Rodnas:
    Yeah, i know. Our company is looking for a programmer/assasin. The assasin skills are needed to get rid of those pesky customers who are complaining that the software is full of bugs.

    !fist

    I can't give you references for my assassination skills. All the people who can really appreciate my skills seem to have mysteriously disappeared.

  • Timothy (TRiG) (unregistered)

    So you want a Teppic/You Bastard combination?

    TRiG.

  • Graham Asher (unregistered)

    I've sent this to my friend Frank, who is both an excellent network administrator and a qualified bus driver. He is also a magician and accomplished children's entertainer, holds a flying license, teaches yachting, organises firework displays, and has been a scoutmaster. But that's another story.

  • JamesQMurphy (cs)
    Grovesy:

    And yes, I think everyone knows that a Finalizer in .net with MS's runtime does not actually 'destroy' the object, release memory or anything else but simply allow you a final chance to clean up any unmanaged resource before the GC does its job.

    Everyone here, maybe. Certainly not the general pool of .NET candidates. Don't believe me? Conduct some interviews. You'll see.

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