• Knux2 (unregistered)

    Tier-3 Unicorn Jockey Tier-3 Command Center Administrator Tier-3 Jackalope Breeder Tier-3 Humanoid-rabbit Egg Distributor

  • Steve The Cynic (cs)

    In the first one, the answer is always, "If you can't give me a job description, I'm not going to waste our time ((translation: "my time" - I don't give a flying (bad word) about your time)) by coming for an interview." No exceptions.

    And in the last case, we all know that the best job he never had would have lasted less time than the interview, and it would have been unpaid. I think you all know what I mean, and if you don't, you are a WTF yourself.

  • The Nerve (unregistered) in reply to Steve The Cynic
    Not only did she not get the job, but we had a very stern word with Human Resources that, in future, we won't interview anyone we deem unsuitable.

    But you forgot to finish the story.

    "Human Resources later stopped by and told us we WOULD be hiring the CEO's daughter."

  • Anon (unregistered)

    Something is missing from the 2nd one. I was expecting it to turn out that the candidate was the HR directors wife/mistress/daughter/niece/third cousin twice removed. There must be some reason the HR director was so adamant that they be interviewed.

  • Ronald M (unregistered)
    • Tier-3 supporting facebook
    • Tier-3 supporting google

    her "Tier-3 support" referred to running said websites and applications on her home computer.

    Wow- she hosted Facebook and Google on her home computer for a period?!

    They had installed Visual Studio and SQL Server's management tools, but there was no indication as to where a SQL Server database was located.

    Ummm -- SQL Server express? Or was this VS Express W/O SQL Server? Or had they uninstalled SQL Server.

  • akatherder (cs)

    For the first story, I would never get that far into the process with someone who can't/won't answer my questions. In this economy, you might have to give a little bit but not that much.

    Second story, you keep the interviewee in the room and call the HR person to sit in on the interview and conclude it for you. Bonus points if this further aggravates the interviewee.

    Third story, give the president an invoice for wasting your time.

  • Vechni (cs)

    teh second story was my favorite.

    edit: oh shit i just lol'd. tier 3 internets explorer

  • kittyJ (unregistered)

    Hmm, really not getting the last one - if I was going to demo something like this I'd just create a new web app and then a new SQL database mdf file in the App_Data folder and off I'd go.

  • Yuval (unregistered)

    I think "internets explorer" is near priceless.

    Typo: I explained teh scenario to the president

  • pitchingchris (cs) in reply to akatherder
    akatherder:

    Third story, give the president an invoice for wasting your time.

    Surely - he just wanted the work done so he didn't have to hire someone capable to do the work. Also means he didn't already have someone capable either..

  • vt_mruhlin (cs)

    Third guy has never heard of SQLite?

  • Peter (unregistered)
    It was Krishna from ACME COMMERCE. "Very nice résumé," she said
    Krishna was a woman? That must have been a bit disconcerting, rather like finding yourself talking to a woman called Zeus or Odin. Or, for that matter, a man called Parvati or Hera.
  • Quies (unregistered) in reply to Anon

    You forget that the powers that be (HR) had spent time finding this candidate that so perfectly fits your stated requirements. That and the candidate only asked for half the minimum stated salary for the job. Thus allowing HR to collect a bonus for saving money, standard policy in two companies I no longer work for.

  • cynical cynic (unregistered) in reply to Steve The Cynic
    Steve The Cynic:
    And in the last case, we all know that the best job he never had would have lasted less time than the interview, and it would have been unpaid. I think you all know what I mean, and if you don't, you are a WTF yourself.
    Are you just assuming Phil M never had the kind of job you are hinting at, or did he tell you?
  • Bosshog (unregistered)

    Just do it in XML and tell him it's a database!

  • Nathan616 (unregistered)

    3rd story: Commenters seem to be down on the guy for not installing some kind of database himself - but didn't he say that they wouldn't let him do that?

    That boss was obviously trying to get work done for free - there was no job.

  • Shyster (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    Something is missing from the 2nd one. I was expecting it to turn out that the candidate was the HR directors wife/mistress/daughter/niece/third cousin twice removed. There must be some reason the HR director was so adamant that they be interviewed.

    My guess: Someone was threatening a lawsuit for discriminatory hiring or something like that, so they brought her in so they could at least say, "look we interview such people." (However, I don't think ADA really requires you to interview let along hire flaming numbskills.)

    CAPTCHA: nulla - The amount of actually experience this person had.

  • operagost (cs) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    Something is missing from the 2nd one. I was expecting it to turn out that the candidate was the HR directors wife/mistress/daughter/niece/third cousin twice removed. There must be some reason the HR director was so adamant that they be interviewed.
    Affirmative action.
  • Mr. TA (unregistered)

    The real WTF is the support team's inability to tell HR to go where they belong upfront. "Not wanting to start any fights" = coward and pussy and idiotic and the real WTF.

    As to the candidate... world is a funny place :)

  • Call me Johnny (unregistered) in reply to Peter
    Peter:
    It was Krishna from ACME COMMERCE. "Very nice résumé," she said
    Krishna was a woman? That must have been a bit disconcerting, rather like finding yourself talking to a woman called Zeus or Odin. Or, for that matter, a man called Parvati or Hera.

    Or a boy named Sue.

    CAPTCHA: Causa - It's causa a name like Sue that I got picked on as a boy.

  • Amar (unregistered) in reply to Peter

    May be her name was Krishnapriya or Krishnaveni. Krishna itself is a female name in some parts of India - where the real Krishna is called Krishnan.

  • Cbuttius (unregistered) in reply to kittyJ
    kittyJ:
    Hmm, really not getting the last one - if I was going to demo something like this I'd just create a new web app and then a new SQL database mdf file in the App_Data folder and off I'd go.

    You're hired!

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    I have to say I quite enjoy interviewing idiots. Whenever we have a hiring round and start receiving resumes I always choose one or two of the "no-hopers" to come in for interview in addition to the real candidates, just to lighten things up. It can be pretty intense interviewing for senior technical positions, especially if you have to do it all day for a week solid. It's a lot easier if you intersperse the real candidates with the odd joker - you can forget about the technical discussions and just laugh at a hopelessly underskilled moron for half an hour. It's cathartic.

    Some of the other folks in my office think this is a bit mean but as I explain to them, I don't feel bad about wasting the candidate's time because they wasted my time by applying for a job that they were woefully underqualified for.

  • some guy (unregistered) in reply to Amar

    The word 'Krishna' means 'dark' or 'black' and was commonly used to describe a dark complexion.

    The word itself has no gender. There are many such 'unisex' sanskrit words that are used as names such as Surya and Kiran.

  • airdrik (unregistered) in reply to Ronald M
    Ronald M:

    They had installed Visual Studio and SQL Server's management tools, but there was no indication as to where a SQL Server database was located.

    Ummm -- SQL Server express? Or was this VS Express W/O SQL Server? Or had they uninstalled SQL Server.

    Neither of Visual Studio nor SQL Server Management Studio (the suite of database front-end tools) comes with a full SQL Server database - that's a completely separate install.

    TRWTF on the last one is that the interviewee required the database backend to be fully accessible before he even started throwing anything together for the web front end (and as the database was not accessible, just throw together a quick-and-easy 'backend': e.g. xml, text file, SQLite, etc. to get it working). OTOH, the interviewer should have instead pulled in one of the developers and had the interviewee write up most of the stuff on a white/black board rather than putting him on a computer and told 'go'. That way they could audit any quirks that the guy throws into his code (like having the web frontend do direct sql queries rather than calling a separate library for database access).

  • pallen (unregistered)

    Joshua Knarr: "I'd like to land the Command Center Administrator job." Developer: "Unaccepted on landing zone."

  • boog (unregistered)

    The second one is strange, even from an "affirmative action" perspective.

    When I worked for the state, HR never required you to interview candidates that weren't suitable. However, you did have to document reasons justifying your decision not to interview (or if after interviewing, reasons for your decision to offer or not). But I guess "affirmative action" just means different things in different offices.

    I do think it would be easy to justify a decision not to interview this person.

  • Peter (unregistered) in reply to Amar
    Amar:
    May be her name was Krishnapriya or Krishnaveni. Krishna itself is a female name in some parts of India - where the real Krishna is called Krishnan.
    Ah, thank you. I didn't know that. Live and learn!
  • Some Wonk (unregistered)

    <troll>But...XML IS a database, isn't it?</troll>

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to Some Wonk
    Some Wonk:
    <troll>But...XML IS a database, isn't it?</troll>
    Of sorts, yes. Not sure what the troll tags were for, your basic assertion is accurate. A piece of paper can be a database, after all.
  • charles (unregistered)

    TRWTF is that no one has mentioned Bob Vila yet.

    CAPTCHA - oppeto - a contrarian puppet maker?

  • Pop ulus (unregistered) in reply to operagost

    No, that isn't Affirmative Action. At all. Read some Tim Wise before you make an ass out of yourself again.

  • Craig (unregistered)

    I think I found the job description:

    http://jobs.webdirections.org/job/401/command-center-administrator-at-gsi-commercecom/

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to Craig
    Craig:
    I think I found the job description:

    http://jobs.webdirections.org/job/401/command-center-administrator-at-gsi-commercecom/

    Since the WTF was the fact that there was no job description, I think we have to assume that's a different job.
  • davedavenotdavemaybedave (cs)

    Whilst it's a bit of a WTF that ACME Commerce didn't have a job description to hand, it's more of a WTF that the applicant didn't just google it. A command centre is a well-known term for a central live status monitoring facility. http://www.dell.com/content/topics/global.aspx/services/prosupport/gcc?c=us&cs=555&l=en&s=biz

    It's quite possible this wasn't even an IT position - they may have wanted a high-level PA, not a sysadmin.

  • B (unregistered)

    One of GSI Commerce's clients is the NFL.

  • friedo (cs) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    Some Wonk:
    <troll>But...XML IS a database, isn't it?</troll>
    Of sorts, yes. Not sure what the troll tags were for, your basic assertion is accurate. A piece of paper can be a database, after all.

    There are people (some right here on TDWTF) who insist that the word "database" has only one definition: an ATOM-compliant relational database management system.

    Those people are generally no fun at parties.

  • anon (unregistered) in reply to friedo
    friedo:
    Steve:
    Some Wonk:
    <troll>But...XML IS a database, isn't it?</troll>
    Of sorts, yes. Not sure what the troll tags were for, your basic assertion is accurate. A piece of paper can be a database, after all.

    There are people (some right here on TDWTF) who insist that the word "database" has only one definition: an ATOM-compliant relational database management system.

    Those people are generally no fun at parties.

    Actually, I would claim that anyone who has an opinion on what is or is not a database and likes to discuss that opinion is generally no fun at parties.

  • kittyJ (unregistered) in reply to Cbuttius

    The true WTF is that the guy was asked to demo a solution to a specific web development problem, i.e. data driven menus, but everyone concerned got caught up worrying about where the data was to come from. It doesn't really matter as long as it comes from somewhere.

  • CoderDan (unregistered) in reply to Pop ulus
    Pop ulus:
    No, that isn't Affirmative Action. At all. Read some Tim Wise before you make an ass out of yourself again.

    Especially since race was never mentioned, nor can it be implied or assumed by the story. Reminds me of a WTF I'll post one of these days.

    Captcha: erat ... the mountain where Noah left his ark

  • fasterthanilook (unregistered)

    Story 3: Sounds like a good place for an analogy the interviewer could actually understand... "This test is to see how well I use the tools of my trade. In effect, you have sat me down in front of a pile of scrap wood and asked me to build a box - with no hammer, no nails, no tools of any kind. Not a good way to see how well I use tools, is it?"

    CAPTCHA: damnum (and the horses they rode in on?)

  • neminem (unregistered)

    Man, command center administration would be a terrible job... I mean, sure, it's gotta be important, but they only make one thing, and it's a boring thing! Plus, it's like a zerg magnet in a rush.

  • Marc B (unregistered)

    I think the company in story #1 should hire the candidate in story #3. It's a perfect fit!

  • Batman (unregistered) in reply to Ronald M
    Ronald M:
    >They had installed Visual Studio and SQL Server's management tools, but there was no indication as to where a SQL Server database was located.

    Ummm -- SQL Server express? Or was this VS Express W/O SQL Server? Or had they uninstalled SQL Server.

    It's possible the story predates SQL Server Express (i.e., the MSDE days). Sure, he could have installed MSDE or the trial of SQL Server 2000 or something but maybe he thought it was bad form (or, depending on how the receptionist's PC is configured, impossible) to just go installing things willy nilly.

  • fennec (cs) in reply to Mr. TA
    Mr. TA:
    The real WTF is the support team's inability to tell HR to go where they belong upfront. "Not wanting to start any fights" = coward and pussy and idiotic and the real WTF.

    Some people actually want to get things done at their jobs, and realize that starting a bunch of fights over every thing someone is doing wrong isn't very conducive to that.

  • Max (unregistered) in reply to Knux2
    Knux2:
    Tier-3 Unicorn Jockey Tier-3 Command Center Administrator Tier-3 Jackalope Breeder Tier-3 Humanoid-rabbit Egg Distributor
    Tier-3 Wood Varnish Filterer (from The Onion, American Voices))
  • Ashamed (unregistered)

    GSI Commerce's CEO was one of the Undercover Bosses on that TV show actually.

    /name refers to actually knowing that...

  • me (unregistered) in reply to friedo
    friedo:
    Steve:
    Some Wonk:
    <troll>But...XML IS a database, isn't it?</troll>
    Of sorts, yes. Not sure what the troll tags were for, your basic assertion is accurate. A piece of paper can be a database, after all.

    There are people (some right here on TDWTF) who insist that the word "database" has only one definition: an ATOM-compliant relational database management system.

    Those people are generally no fun at parties.

    What does atom mean? Obviously you didn't mean ACID or else you would have said so, right?

    CAPTCHA:populus -- as in populous?

  • chron3 (cs) in reply to Ronald M
    Ronald M:
    > Wow- she hosted Facebook and Google on her home computer for a period?!

    No, no, you missed the obvious...

    Wow- she hosted Facebook and Google on her home computer during her period?!

  • Joe (unregistered) in reply to Cbuttius
    Cbuttius:
    kittyJ:
    Hmm, really not getting the last one - if I was going to demo something like this I'd just create a new web app and then a new SQL database mdf file in the App_Data folder and off I'd go.

    You're hired!

    More accurately: Leave your source code. We'll review it (read: immediately start using it in production), and get back to you (read: thanks for solving our problem -- don't expect to hear from us ever again).

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