• Warren (unregistered)

    Don't go, Snoofle. Where will we get all our best WTFs now?

  • snoofle (cs) in reply to Warren

    @warren: from the government agency where I got the new job?

    seriously folks, if you see a wtf, don't be an apathetic bystander; write it up and send it in!

  • Y (unregistered)

    And thusly did TheDailyWTF jump the shark.

  • Y (unregistered)

    snoofle, one post about how awesome you are was more than enough. Two in three months is just stroking your, er, ego.

  • Tessellated Cheese (cs)

    This is a sad, sad day for The Daily WTF, so I will wear black to mourn the loss of WTFs from WTF-Inc.

    I hope your new job is metric assloads better, but given that you're going to a government agency, from everything I've read this may be an even greater source of WTFs. Hopefully your sanity remains intact.

  • dfcowell (cs)

    I hate to say the entire community at TDWTF told you so... but... they told you so.

  • Strolskon (cs)

    JD: So I can just synchronize all the methods in all the classes; that will keep things coherent, right?

    That's exactly what someone did to my open source project after I gave him commit access :(

  • gnasher729 (unregistered) in reply to Tessellated Cheese
    Tessellated Cheese:
    I hope your new job is metric assloads better, but given that you're going to a government agency, from everything I've read this may be an even greater source of WTFs. Hopefully your sanity remains intact.

    In a government job, the work done may be WTF, but there is the question what the job itself is like. If what you produce is horrible but your colleagues are nice and your boss is happy with your work and so on, so what?

    In the old place, he was clearly set up for failure. It was absolutely clear from the start who would be getting the blame when the project fails (not if it fails, because it was set up so nobody could possibly succeed).

  • ANON (unregistered)

    This story makes me assume two things:

    1. Manoj is an Indian name, so I assume he worked from offshore.
    2. This company wasn't mainly a software company, just developed some software for their own use and website.

    Just curious are these assumptions right?

  • snoofle (cs) in reply to ANON
    ANON:
    This story makes me assume two things:
    1. Manoj is an Indian name, so I assume he worked from offshore.
    2. This company wasn't mainly a software company, just developed some software for their own use and website.

    Just curious are these assumptions right?

    Close; Manoj IS Indian, but he works on site. (2) - bingo!

    The problem is the management doesn't realize that this is mostly a software shop. And never will. WTF-Inc will crash and burn within 6 months, and MegaCorp, upon investigation, will clean house and start over.

  • snoofle (cs) in reply to dfcowell
    dfcowell:
    I hate to say the entire community at TDWTF told you so... but... they told you so.
    And you were all absolutely right. I guess I had to prove to myself that walking away WAS the correct thing to do (in the past). Clearly, it was.
  • Hpesoj (unregistered) in reply to ANON
    ANON:
    This story makes me assume two things: 1. Manoj is an Indian name, so I assume he worked from offshore.

    Surely it's a pseudonym? Looks like a name spelt backwards to me.

  • Joseph (unregistered) in reply to snoofle

    [quote user="snoofle"][quote user="ANON"]Close; Manoj IS Indian, but he works on site.[/quote]

    Fair enough :)

  • barabas (unregistered)

    Come on, don't feed his ego by posting more of snoofle's figments of his rich imagination...

    Anyone still not seeing trough his bullshit is way too gullible.

  • Herwig (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    @warren: from the government agency where I got the new job?

    seriously folks, if you see a wtf, don't be an apathetic bystander; write it up and send it in!

    How? FTP? ...or may I just relocate my company's repository? Your mail server will not relay mails with that size and number of WTF's

  • Chronomium (unregistered)
    Enter Snoofle.
    Please change to "the legendary Snoofle", please and thank you.
  • Peter (unregistered)

    "...it was the management that was the problem!"

    Only rarely is this not the case.

    // captcha: facilisis

  • Steve The Cynic (cs)
    The Legendary SNOOFLE:
    It was my own fault for thinking that I could fix "stupid".
    No, sorry, you can't fix "stupid". You can fix "ignorant" if it isn't hampered by "willfully" (but "willfully ignorant" is a kind of "stupid" rather than a kind of "ignorant", so of course it can't be fixed), by the simple expedient of education of one sort or another.

    However, the best education system in the world (either in-company or nation-wide) can't make stupid people smart. A bad education system can make sure that ignorant (in the neutral sense of not knowing much) smart people become ignorant (in the pejorative sense of grotesquely misinformed) smart people.

    The willfully ignorant, like your (soon to be) previous employer's senior management (and the misfortunate Manoj), will remain willfully ignorant, and the act of sending the most junior member of the team to receive the knowledge transfer tells me everything I need to know about their stupidity.

    And if I did need to know more, the conversation with B+1 and B+2 would suffice to finish the job.

    Sigh. Stupidity does seem to be infectious. Stay smart.

  • ubersoldat (cs)

    So, your post in the forum from yesterday was to fill up your position? Aha! US$ 70k wouldn't even put me on the door step of WTF-Inc as your replacement.

    Anyway, it might make sense to try to take on WTF-Inc business and clients.

  • zerzerzedfsfqsazerzerazeraazer (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    The problem is the management doesn't realize that this is mostly a software shop. And never will. WTF-Inc will crash and burn within 6 months, and MegaCorp, upon investigation, will clean house and start over.

    Out of curiositiy: where is MegaCorp in all this? Are they aware of this and/or what is their opionion about the 'stupid'

  • JayGee (unregistered) in reply to Tessellated Cheese
    Tessellated Cheese:
    This is a sad, sad day for The Daily WTF, so I will wear black to mourn the loss of WTFs from WTF-Inc.

    I hope your new job is metric assloads better, but given that you're going to a government agency, from everything I've read this may be an even greater source of WTFs. Hopefully your sanity remains intact.

    The real question is, will snoofle be a contractor or government employee. If you're a contractor, enjoy playing the blame game, where government employees are allowed to point the blame at you, but you aren't allowed to point back.

    Not to mention contractors get treated like a second class citizen.

  • mikeTheLiar (cs)

    Soofle: how long before you can name and shame? Is there a clause in your contract that says "You shall not post non-anonymized tales of the Company's failed management techniques, or lack thereof, until such a time as your employment has been terminated for a minimum of " + years + " years"?

  • cyborg (unregistered) in reply to Chronomium
    Chronomium:
    Enter Snoofle.
    Please change to "the legendary Snoofle", please and thank you.

    Ladies and Gentlement please give it up for the Master of Disaster Recovery, the King of Spring(source), the Count of Monte Unit Testo, the Debugging Destroyer...

    Snooooooflleeeeeee!

    /crowd goes wild

    snoofle later dies at the hands of a Russian hacker with a WPM that melts keyboards - it's simple, whatever he hacks, he destroys

  • snoofle (cs) in reply to mikeTheLiar

    @Where is Mega Corp in all this? Blissfully unaware

    @Will I be an employee/contractor? Contractor

    @How long before I can name names? > 1 year

  • Tim (unregistered)

    Actually, you can fix stupid, but firing the people above you is rarely possible and stabbing people is illegal in most countries.

  • C_K (unregistered)

    That sounds better than the process here.

    Gather requirements: 15 min verbal Functional design: on the fly Detailed design: you already did "design" Developer ramp up: why aren't you typing yet? Coding: You'd be done if you didn't waste time on design and research. Developer testing: Just stop making mistakes. QA testing: We can't afford to hire people to just sit around testing things. Integration testing: Throw it live and see what happens. Stress testing: Take an Excedrin. Acceptance testing: Why is this @#$% broken?

  • It's Pat (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    @How long before I can name names? > 1 year

    Or 6 months when the company goes down and he can link a news article. :)

  • Flash (cs) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    @How long before I can name names? > 1 year
    How many of us have already created reminders in our calendars for 2014-08-08?
  • Jeremy (unregistered)

    Meh. Given the choice between the 2 I think I'd rather have "6 months out of school" guy over "30 year veteran" guy.

    I'm sure there are some good ones that keep up, but in my experience those are more like to be the "set in their ways" "you kids and your damned 'functions' and 'loops'" guys.

    They learned gotos and breaks, their car gets 40 rods to the hogshead, and that's the way they likes it.

  • zelmak (cs) in reply to C_K
    C_K:
    That sounds better than the process here.

    Gather requirements: 15 min verbal Functional design: on the fly Detailed design: you already did "design" Developer ramp up: why aren't you typing yet? Coding: You'd be done if you didn't waste time on design and research. Developer testing: Just stop making mistakes. QA testing: We can't afford to hire people to just sit around testing things. Integration testing: Throw it live and see what happens. Stress testing: Take an Excedrin. Acceptance testing: Why is this @#$% broken?

    Honest-to-${deity} ... About two months into a (contracted) task, (about two weeks after the systems team received computers and desks to put them at), my boss was systems task lead doing all sorts of interviews and gathering information on what each section did, what their pain points were and what tools they needed, etc. We had a general meeting with all the contractor personnel. One of the company leads on the management team asked: "${myboss}, I understand your need to get and gather requirements, but why can't we just build something?"

  • snoofle (cs)

    BTW: The place where I'm going is protected by 7x24 armed guards, floor to ceiling bullet proof glass, and bidirectional electronic locks on all doors, so there's no way I'm getting my clue bat in there; Mark is the new keeper of the bat, so show him some love...

  • eViLegion (cs) in reply to Jeremy
    Jeremy:
    ...their car gets 40 rods to the hogshead, and that's the way they likes it.

    Excellent.

  • English Man (cs)

    Sounds about right...

  • name (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    BTW: The place where I'm going is protected by 7x24 armed guards, floor to ceiling bullet proof glass, and bidirectional electronic locks on all doors, so there's no way I'm getting my clue bat in there; Mark is the new keeper of the bat, so show him some love...

    Usually it's set up such that the green-network PCs can still access TDWTF; they just need to stay at least three feet away from the red-network PCs at all times.

  • eViLegion (cs)

    I thought clue bats were on the seriously endangered list.

  • flabdablet (cs) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    BTW: The place where I'm going is protected by 7x24 armed guards, floor to ceiling bullet proof glass, and bidirectional electronic locks on all doors

    Are the dunnies clean?

  • locallunatic (cs) in reply to Steve The Cynic
    Steve The Cynic:
    The Legendary SNOOFLE:
    It was my own fault for thinking that I could fix "stupid".
    No, sorry, you can't fix "stupid".
    Yes you can fix stupid; you fix it for everyone else with method of choice, a shovel, and empty rural block of land.
  • D-Coder (cs) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    BTW: The place where I'm going is protected by 7x24 armed guards, floor to ceiling bullet proof glass, and bidirectional electronic locks on all doors...
    Rorschach: None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me!
  • Old 30-year veteran (unregistered)
    They would even teach us how to do Agile. [Description of waterfall follows]
    Been there. This is the quintessential hallmark of a WTF shop.
    Naturally, after reviewing all the changes we've made, he wants to undo everything to put it back to the way he designed it.

    I resisted and pushed it up to senior management...

    FAIL. You're a consultant (or employee). Offer your opinion (if asked), then implement their way. When it fails, fix it. If it incurs massive technical debt, who cares? You're making money to fix it!

    A few phone calls and a couple of interviews later, I have another job.

    B+1: We need you Me: I'll be happy to help transition for (n-days) B+2: You CAN'T leave... Me: ... B+2: What about the delivery schedule? Me: At this point, I can't help you, however I can ping my network to see if there's someone who is available B+2: Eveyone is overloaded now, we assigned this work to you Me: I understand B+2: We already suspended all the non essential projects: everything that's left is top priority! Me: Yeah, that's unfortunate. B+2...

    Remember, this is nothing personal; it is business. Offer them nothing and leave as professionally as you can. Remember, YOU ARE FIRING THEM. If the roles were reversed, they'd be a lot less accommodating to you. Be the bigger guy and let them down, but don't go all Stockholm Syndrome on them.

    Argh. BBCode is the real WTF. Learn HTML or GTFO.

  • DrPepper (cs) in reply to C_K
    C_K:
    QA testing: We can't afford to hire people to just sit around testing things.
    Where I'm working, they're firing the outsourced testing organization that we were using; so the qa manager asked for 4 people inhouse to replace the team of 20 that were doing testing. He got 1/2 person. WTF.
  • yeah (unregistered)

    The changing POV (3rd to 1st) in this story is awkward to read

  • Popeye (unregistered)

    The 20 week Sprint is awesome. I'm a contractor and if I sat on my ass for 20 weeks to produce 2 weeks of product I'd be thrown out on my ass and run over by a bus. You gotta love those G-jobs. Great for a contractor and you can line up 3 at a time and triple bill the shit outta them.

  • Matt Westwood (cs) in reply to locallunatic
    locallunatic:
    Steve The Cynic:
    The Legendary SNOOFLE:
    It was my own fault for thinking that I could fix "stupid".
    No, sorry, you can't fix "stupid".
    Yes you can fix stupid; you fix it for everyone else with method of choice, a shovel, and empty rural block of land.

    Hunt down and kill all the children, and make sure they never spawn again.

  • Matt Westwood (cs) in reply to DrPepper
    DrPepper:
    C_K:
    QA testing: We can't afford to hire people to just sit around testing things.
    Where I'm working, they're firing the outsourced testing organization that we were using; so the qa manager asked for 4 people inhouse to replace the team of 20 that were doing testing. He got 1/2 person. WTF.

    Where I work, they reduced their manpower count in the Test department by investing in automated test tools. They already had them, as it happens, they just got someone to tidy tem up and rationalise them and further automate the process. Seems to have been a success, but from where I sit I can see there's still considerable room for improvement.

  • eViLegion (cs) in reply to DrPepper

    "Half a person", or "1 or 2 people"?

  • Some Damn Yank (cs) in reply to Strolskon
    Strolskon:
    > JD: So I can just synchronize all the methods in all the classes; that > will keep things coherent, right?

    That's exactly what someone did to my open source project after I gave him commit access :(

    That's exactly why they have that "revert" command.

  • Steve The Cynic (cs) in reply to locallunatic
    locallunatic:
    Steve The Cynic:
    The Legendary SNOOFLE:
    It was my own fault for thinking that I could fix "stupid".
    No, sorry, you can't fix "stupid".
    Yes you can fix stupid; you fix it for everyone else with method of choice, a shovel, and empty rural block of land.
    I'd argue that if you do this, you aren't *fixing* stupid, merely ridding yourself of it, which is a good place to start.
  • DrPepper (cs) in reply to eViLegion
    eViLegion:
    "Half a person", or "1 or 2 people"?
    One person, half-time. For those of you who are counting: We went from 1 local QA plus 20 off-site QA to 1.5 local QA. And they expect the same amount of testing to get done.
  • DrPepper (cs) in reply to Old 30-year veteran
    Old 30-year veteran:
    FAIL. You're a consultant (or employee). Offer your opinion (if asked), then implement their way. When it fails, fix it. If it incurs massive technical debt, who cares? You're making money to fix it!
    If you're a WTF programmer, that works -- charge them money to do it wrong, then charge them money to do it right. But some of us have higher standards -- we feel bad when we do it wrong. We'd rather leave than continue to do it wrong.
  • Morgie (unregistered) in reply to zelmak
    zelmak:
    One of the company leads on the management team asked: "${myboss}, I understand your need to get and gather requirements, but why can't we just build something?"

    And so "agile development" was born? You'll have a deliverable at the end of the sprint and the customer will tell you that's not what they want. This feeds in to your requirements document as "customer doesn't want X". Eventually you will have narrowed it down to the one thing that they do want. Much quicker than that pesky requirements analysis.

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