The Slowdown

« Return to Article
  • Moonraquel 2012-09-11 08:08
    "both of them were fired, and Nick was given a promotion."

    This is the real WTF. (I mean I know you 'embellish' the stories but this takes it to the realm of fantasy literature.)
  • Remy Porter 2012-09-11 08:13
    Hey, sometimes organizations make the right decision. The chances of you winning the lottery are nil, but the chances of someone winning the lottery are pretty good.
  • pc 2012-09-11 08:19
    The "happy ending" does end up being a surprise when it happens. You do never quite expect it.
  • History Teacher 2012-09-11 08:20
    ...I guess we all know what trWTF here is.

    Mind boggling!
  • Randolph 2012-09-11 08:27
    Nick thought he was going to enjoy
    Oh, dear, not a good sign. This is bound to morph into WTF.

    Windows servers
    Yep, there it is!
  • Smug Unix User 2012-09-11 08:30
    Sadly the story probably went more like this:

    Nick suspects something is wrong with the windows servers. Nick ignores the instructions to leave the boxes alone. Nick remotes in. The servers are filled with the kind of scum and villainy found only in droid prohibited establishments. Nick of course notifies his boss. Nick is fired for hacking the server. He is threatened with criminal charges. Larry blames the mess on Nick and takes a few months to clean it up before the next admin comes in and repeats Nick's mistake. Nick now has a giant stain on his resume and now works at pizza hut.
  • Leo 2012-09-11 08:33
    You call needing to learn Windows administration a happy ending?
  • Jim 2012-09-11 08:37
    Smug Unix User:
    Nick suspects something is wrong with the windows servers.
    Fortunately, Nick knows this isn't part of his job, and moreover he was told to leave them alone. So everyone is happy -- especially the spammers.

    Nick ignores the instructions
    and gets fired. Isn't that how it's supposed to work?
  • John 2012-09-11 08:40
    History Teacher:
    ...I guess we all know what trWTF here is.

    Mind boggling!


    Yeah; some company actually promoted the guy who found the malware and reported the culprits that supported and enabled it. The usual story ends with Nick being fired for violating the "Do Not Touch" order of his superior. I've seen any number of cases like that (and once been the firee after reporting a serious security issue). I've heard rumors of people being rewarded for such things, but I've never personally seen it happen.
  • Ted 2012-09-11 08:42
    “There are two Windows boxes in the data-center,” Larry explained. “Those are mine. Do not touch them. Ever.
    those boxes actually need a hardware upgrade
    So he is supposed to upgrade the hardware without touching it? I guess that might be vaguely possible with Linux boxes, but Windows? The magic in this story is more powerful than unicorns.
  • Garrison Fiord 2012-09-11 08:49
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
  • Accalia.de.Elementia 2012-09-11 08:57
    Leo:
    You call needing to learn Windows administration a happy ending?


    No, but now Nick can list those old servers on e-bay himself.

    after running the appropriate disk sanitizers over the harddrives and loading them to the gills with malware (for funsies)
  • Morry 2012-09-11 09:04
    A happy ending? Is that even allowed? I feel dirty... like a CEO of a wall street bank or something.
  • Chris A 2012-09-11 09:05
    Smug Unix User:
    Sadly the story probably went more like this:

    Nick suspects something is wrong with the windows servers. Nick ignores the instructions to leave the boxes alone. Nick remotes in. The servers are filled with the kind of scum and villainy found only in droid prohibited establishments. Nick of course notifies his boss. Nick is fired for hacking the server. He is threatened with criminal charges. Larry blames the mess on Nick and takes a few months to clean it up before the next admin comes in and repeats Nick's mistake. Nick now has a giant stain on his resume and now works at pizza hut.

    In this case, if reporting a banking data security breach is a legal requirement (?), presumably a boss who tried to suppress a report could be looking at a criminal conviction if they were found out? So Nick is probably on somewhat safer ground than if the company were in a less-regulated industry.
  • snoofle 2012-09-11 09:08
    Garrison Fiord:
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
    Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?
  • Chris A 2012-09-11 09:11
    snoofle:
    Garrison Fiord:
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
    Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?

    It ought to be virii, not viruses.</troll> :-)
  • Garrison Fiord 2012-09-11 09:12
    snoofle:
    Garrison Fiord:
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
    Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?

    How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

    Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?
  • hans 2012-09-11 09:15
    Whatever you do, do not click the "No" answer.

    Or is that because of the happy ending?
  • Lit Erate 2012-09-11 09:18
    Garrison Fiord:
    if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're"
    A sentence that uses "your" when it means "you're" is difficult to read. It's like hitting a speed bump. No, worse. You have to back up and go over it again, seeking (sometimes in vain) to understand the message better than the child who wrote it.
  • gambisk 2012-09-11 09:25
    another victim of Mr Porter
  • snoofle 2012-09-11 09:37
    Garrison Fiord:
    what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?

    Yesterday, I discovered a major fuckup done by someone else, and needed to get a jump on undoing the damage - I shifted my day to 4AM-12N so as to be able to use the systems when I've got them all to myself.
  • Unicorn #8157 2012-09-11 09:41
    Chris A:
    In this case, if reporting a banking data security breach is a legal requirement (?), presumably a boss who tried to suppress a report could be looking at a criminal conviction if they were found out? So Nick is probably on somewhat safer ground than if the company were in a less-regulated industry.
    "Nick's saying he 'found' malware on that server? Well, he's wasn't even authorized to touch that server so he must've installed it maliciously. In fact, since his orders were to not touch that server at all we want him prosecuted under the computer abuse act. Not to mention the civil suit that we'll be filing where our lawyers will state that he went outside of his purview then an independent forensic expert that we hire will attest to the fact that it was only after Nick's actions was malware found on that server.

    "Yes, it was definitely Nick that infected that computer for his own nefarious purposes."
  • HeeHaw 2012-09-11 09:51
    Garrison Fiord:
    snoofle:
    Garrison Fiord:
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
    Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?

    How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

    Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?


    If you find that sentence difficult to read, perhaps you need more practice.
  • Garrison Fiord 2012-09-11 09:54
    Lit Erate:
    Garrison Fiord:
    if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're"
    A sentence that uses "your" when it means "you're" is difficult to read. It's like hitting a speed bump. No, worse. You have to back up and go over it again, seeking (sometimes in vain) to understand the message better than the child who wrote it.

    I'm not saying its ideal, but at least you can convert to verbal and get some meaning out of it.
  • Shawn H Corey 2012-09-11 09:56
    Truly, no good deed goes unpunished. Imagine having to learn Windows admin. Ugh.
  • Severity One 2012-09-11 09:58
    In a flash of institutional intelligence, both of them were fired, and Nick was given a promotion.
    Oh, come on, it never works that way. Of course Nick was sacked. Right?
  • JAH 2012-09-11 09:59
    Remy, the idiot:
    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least?


    The WTF is strong in this one.
  • Infidel 2012-09-11 09:59
    more RAM than a goat festival


    Don't you mean a sheep festival?
  • Severity One 2012-09-11 10:10
    Garrison Fiord:
    Garrison Fiord:
    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
    How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".
    Excuse me? May I, a non-native speaker, list the mistakes you managed to make in those few sentences?
    * comma after 'damn' doesn't belong there
    * 'change' should be 'chance'
    * 'right' should be 'write'
    * 'happen' should be 'happened'
    * 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.

    Ergo, you're writing something, and after mentally having to fix all the mistakes you made, I kind of understand what you're trying to say, with the obvious exception of the bomb thing. But your sentences are rather difficult to read, so you're making a bit of a fool of yourself (or you'reself if you so prefer).
  • MightyM 2012-09-11 10:15
    Severity One:
    * 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.


    Have people really forgotten about the "All your base" meme already?
  • lethalronin27 2012-09-11 10:21
    Garrison Fiord:
    snoofle:
    Garrison Fiord:
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
    Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?

    How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

    Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?


    That wasn't hard to read at all. Maybe you should try 3rd grade again so you can read it too.
  • RaceProUK 2012-09-11 10:21
    Severity One:
    * 'happen' should be 'happened'
    * 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icVy7Ve6y6A

    Also:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE6emvdmg-M
  • just stop it 2012-09-11 10:27
    I think you guys who are surprised that they fired Ted and Larry are missing the point. After Nick notified management and they looked into the situation, they discovered that the old servers were going on eBay. That is why Ted and Larry were fired. Stealing is the number one offense as far as your employer is concerned. They could have been incompetent until retirement and no one would have cared.

    If not for the theft, Nick probably would have been fired because Ted and Larry probably would not have been.
  • operagost 2012-09-11 10:39
    John:
    History Teacher:
    ...I guess we all know what trWTF here is.

    Mind boggling!


    Yeah; some company actually promoted the guy who found the malware and reported the culprits that supported and enabled it. The usual story ends with Nick being fired for violating the "Do Not Touch" order of his superior. I've seen any number of cases like that (and once been the firee after reporting a serious security issue). I've heard rumors of people being rewarded for such things, but I've never personally seen it happen.

    Considering the visibility of financial and identity fraud today, you'll probably still be fired but at least you'll have a good case for wrongful termination if customer financial or personal information is at risk.
  • Robert Hanson 2012-09-11 10:41
    more RAM than a goat festival

    Made my day, thanks!
  • foo 2012-09-11 10:48
    lethalronin27:
    Garrison Fiord:
    snoofle:
    Garrison Fiord:
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
    Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?

    How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

    Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?


    That wasn't hard to read at all. Maybe you should try 3rd grade again so you can read it too.
    Don't worry, he meant 3rd grade level at most. I can see how that sentence is a little difficult to parse for a 7 year old.

    Also, besides "virii" it's "boxen"!
  • My name is unimportant 2012-09-11 10:48
    MightyM:
    Severity One:
    * 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.


    Have people really forgotten about the "All your base" meme already?


    Already? That was thirteen years ago at least!
  • foo 2012-09-11 10:51
    Ted:
    “There are two Windows boxes in the data-center,” Larry explained. “Those are mine. Do not touch them. Ever.
    those boxes actually need a hardware upgrade
    So he is supposed to upgrade the hardware without touching it? I guess that might be vaguely possible with Linux boxes, but Windows? The magic in this story is more powerful than unicorns.
    You mean Windows doesn't support Remote Hot Swap(tm) yet?
  • Garrison Fiord 2012-09-11 10:59
    lethalronin27:
    Garrison Fiord:
    snoofle:
    Garrison Fiord:
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
    Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?

    How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

    Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?


    That wasn't hard to read at all. Maybe you should try 3rd grade again so you can read it too.

    That asshat Remy modified my post, probably because I'm an idiot. I bet he deletes this one, because I'm a sucker and love losing bets.
  • Severity One 2012-09-11 11:02
    My name is unimportant:
    MightyM:
    Severity One:
    * 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.
    Have people really forgotten about the "All your base" meme already?
    Already? That was thirteen years ago at least!
    THIRTEEN years ago? Man, back then, I was only... um, never mind my age. Move along now.

    Anyway, I've never played consoles, hated them back then and hate them now. If I can't spend some considerable income on a graphics card with the sound of an F-16 taking off, so I can watch salmon jump up the waterfalls in Skyrim, it's not worth it.
  • Steve The Cynic 2012-09-11 11:03
    foo:
    Ted:
    “There are two Windows boxes in the data-center,” Larry explained. “Those are mine. Do not touch them. Ever.
    those boxes actually need a hardware upgrade
    So he is supposed to upgrade the hardware without touching it? I guess that might be vaguely possible with Linux boxes, but Windows? The magic in this story is more powerful than unicorns.
    You mean Windows doesn't support Remote Hot Swap(tm) yet?

    I did hear the story of an IBM mainframe in Japan somewhere that was up for seven and a half years, and during that time, every part of the hardware was replaced at least once, including the racks, with no downtime. (Well, of course, you take individual CPU boards (etc) out of service, but one at a time, until you have replaced them all.)

    But even there, someone had to touch the hardware that was being changed...
  • D-Coder 2012-09-11 11:04
    "...goats can breathe in space. Little known fact."

    Ah huh.
  • Crampy Grampy 2012-09-11 11:22
    I'm pretty sure the author meant that the new guy was supposed to order the hardware, since that is his job, and that Larry would install and configure it himself.
  • Steve The Cynic 2012-09-11 11:31
    Severity One:
    My name is unimportant:
    MightyM:
    Severity One:
    * 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.
    Have people really forgotten about the "All your base" meme already?
    Already? That was thirteen years ago at least!
    THIRTEEN years ago? Man, back then, I was only... um, never mind my age. Move along now.

    Anyway, I've never played consoles, hated them back then and hate them now. If I can't spend some considerable income on a graphics card with the sound of an F-16 taking off, so I can watch salmon jump up the waterfalls in Skyrim, it's not worth it.

    I prefer to buy graphics cards that don't make more noise (it's NOISE, not sound, because it's a largely undesirable side effect) than a supersonic-capable aircraft.

    (And the benchmark for noisy aircraft, apparently, is a Tu-95, with eight propellers that spin fast enough that the blade tips produce sonic booms.)
  • AGray 2012-09-11 11:36
    The "Somebody set up us the bomb" bit is a reference to Zero Wing, a Sega Master Drive game that is known to be the best example of a poorly-localized Japanese game.

    Thus, it's not English. It's Engrish.
  • Garrison Fiord 2012-09-11 11:37
    Garrison Fiord:
    lethalronin27:
    Garrison Fiord:
    snoofle:
    Garrison Fiord:
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
    Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?

    How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

    Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?


    That wasn't hard to read at all. Maybe you should try 3rd grade again so you can read it too.

    That asshat Remy modified my post, probably because I'm an idiot. I bet he deletes this one, because I'm a sucker and love losing bets.

    You're butt hurt much, Remy?
  • Garrison Fiord 2012-09-11 11:41
    That Remy seems to have a crush on me. Too bad I'm not the "unicorns and rainbows" type.
  • Remy Porter 2012-09-11 11:44
    Garrison Fiord:
    You're butt hurt much, Remy?


    At least I understand how to use the quote feature in a fashion that doesn't spam the thread with walls-of-unnecessary-text.

    By the way, my articles tend to average out to about the 6th grade level. I know this because I actually check that, the Gunning-Fog index, and for word-repetition. You see, I actually do put effort into making readable articles.

    But hey, you have a difficult time with content suitable for 12 year-olds. The first step is admitting you have a problem.
  • Garrison Fiord 2012-09-11 11:47
    Remy Porter:
    Garrison Fiord:
    You're butt hurt much, Remy?


    At least I understand how to use the quote feature in a fashion that doesn't spam the thread with walls-of-unnecessary-text.

    By the way, my articles tend to average out to about the 6th grade level. I know this because I actually check that, the Gunning-Fog index, and for word-repetition. You see, I actually do put effort into making readable articles.

    But hey, you have a difficult time with content suitable for 12 year-olds. The first step is admitting you have a problem.


    Wait... how did you do that? Why do all of my quotes include the entire thread? ARE YOU A WIZARD?
  • lulz 2012-09-11 11:52
    Remy Porter:
    Garrison Fiord:
    You're butt hurt much, Remy?


    At least I understand how to use the quote feature in a fashion that doesn't spam the thread with walls-of-unnecessary-text.

    By the way, my articles tend to average out to about the 6th grade level. I know this because I actually check that, the Gunning-Fog index, and for word-repetition. You see, I actually do put effort into making readable articles.

    But hey, you have a difficult time with content suitable for 12 year-olds. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

    Buttfrustrated?
    Butt annihilated?
    Butt devastated?

    10/10 would watch you get trolled again
  • Y_F 2012-09-11 12:00
    pc:
    The "happy ending" does end up being a surprise when it happens. You do never quite expect it.

    No TDWTF reader expects it... but this one was so great I almost wept.
    Just restored my faith in mankind.





    Nah, better keep my WTF-radar sharply tuned!
  • Nickster 2012-09-11 12:10
    This story is completely unbelievable. It's not even remotely realistic.

    In the real world, there is no way the incompetent parties would be fired and the whistleblower given a promotion. Try again, suckers!
  • ASheridan 2012-09-11 12:11
    Garrison Fiord:
    You're butt hurt much, Remy?


    *Your
  • chubertdev 2012-09-11 12:14
    I wonder if the whistleblower laws passed (relatively) recently helped Nick keep his job...
  • Pluvius 2012-09-11 12:25
    How did Nick log into a machine he was supposed to have nothing to do with? This smells like passwords written on post-it notes.

    And how does decomissioned hardware of that huge residual value manage to get out of inventory and "end up" in the hands of the same employee, repeatedly, and at such rapid turnover?

    That company had much bigger issues, such as loose security policies and an accounting department that couldn't find their asses with both hands. Ted was playing the system because it was so damn easy. Ironically, it was the same thing that allowed Nick to turn it around.
  • Cbuttius 2012-09-11 12:35
    This story is not a WTF. The definition of a WTF is a story that makes you want to exclaim "WTF!".

    Someone misusing company property for illegal activity is reported and gets fired. Not a WTF.
  • Cbuttius 2012-09-11 12:36
    chubertdev:
    I wonder if the whistleblower laws passed (relatively) recently helped Nick keep his job...


    That or the fear he might go to an even higher authority, e.g. the police, if he got fired as a result.
  • Ben 2012-09-11 12:52
    Wow, a WTF with a happy ending. Justice was served!

    Well, except for having to deal with Windows servers.
  • Sebastian Buchannon 2012-09-11 12:55
    You assume the police would take a complaint by an ex-employee seriously. I sure wouldn't and I am reasonably familiar with the law on this. Ex-employee = disgruntled employee and just can't be trusted. They might claim bank data was lost but how can they prove it? they can't. Police 1, disgruntled employee 0.
  • AGray 2012-09-11 12:55
    Cbuttius:
    This story is not a WTF. The definition of a WTF is a story that makes you want to exclaim "WTF!".

    Someone misusing company property for illegal activity is reported and gets fired. Not a WTF.


    Aah but the horrible misuse of the technology elicited the WTF. Thus, a case can be made for it being in fact a WTF.
  • neminem 2012-09-11 12:57
    Cbuttius:
    chubertdev:
    I wonder if the whistleblower laws passed (relatively) recently helped Nick keep his job...


    That or the fear he might go to an even higher authority, e.g. the police, if he got fired as a result.

    Yeah, at that point you really only have two options, I think: either fire everyone clearly responsible for such dramatic incompetence, and fix the issue, or make the guy who uncovered it "disappear". For good. Outside of tv shows (where all manner of publicly-trading organizations seem to be that crooked), the second option is, happily, generally only available to the Mafia and other such obviously-criminal organizations. (Not saying there aren't all variety of not-criminal actual companies out there, I think they just generally stick to the usual white-collar stuff, crime-wise.)
  • Cbuttius 2012-09-11 13:03
    Sebastian Buchannon:
    You assume the police would take a complaint by an ex-employee seriously. I sure wouldn't and I am reasonably familiar with the law on this. Ex-employee = disgruntled employee and just can't be trusted. They might claim bank data was lost but how can they prove it? they can't. Police 1, disgruntled employee 0.


    Oh, I am sure many "tip-offs" have come from former employees. And forensics are VERY good at recovering data should they wish to cover it up by wiping it, which they were no doubt too incompetent to do.

    Selling it on e-bay isn't the way to remove the evidence. Changing the hard-drive would work, as it isn't the computer itself or the RAM but the hard drive that holds the evidence.
  • Sebastian Buchannon 2012-09-11 13:12
    Cbuttius:
    This story is not a WTF. The definition of a WTF is a story that makes you want to exclaim "WTF!".

    Someone misusing company property for illegal activity is reported and gets fired. Not a WTF.


    Sorry but if major theft isn't a WTF then what is? Put it this way, if you owned a shop selling widgets and someone walked in and took 5 widgets and ran out without paying, would you say "well that's not a WTF", or would you scream "WTF!!!" and chase after them?

    On a slightly off-topic, but related note, I always strongly advise people not to chase thieves. Instinctively people want to but you have no idea if the thief is armed or even has accomplices. Without the proper training civilians are apt to seriously injure themselves, the suspect, or an innocent bystander. Besides taking the law into your own hands is frowned upon by law enforcement.

    Fact: Your property is never as valuable as a life.

    Call, don't run. Call the police who are better equipped to confront criminals. I always say once you are 70 and shuffling round with a zimmerframe you won't be able to go chasing criminals anyway so you might as well get used to not running after thieves now.
  • chubertdev 2012-09-11 13:23
    Well it was a cascade of events that allowed Nick to keep his job:

    1) Tom and Larry would selling the old hardware for profit on eBay
    2) The company was losing a lot of money for no gain due to this
    3) Nick went over Tom and Larry's heads (I'm surprised that he didn't get fired here, he should have gone to the SEC/whomever first)
    4) Tom and Larry were fired
    5) It would cost the company money in lawsuits if they fired Nick for uncovering incompetency in the company, so they just promoted him to appease him

    IMHO, the people above Tom and Larry probably did not like them, and were more eager to see them go than cover up their tracks.
  • mag 2012-09-11 13:31
    I'm glad the good guy didn't get fired in this post.
  • ih8u 2012-09-11 13:36
    chubertdev:
    Well it was a cascade of events that allowed Nick to keep his job:

    1) Tom and Larry would selling the old hardware for profit on eBay
    2) The company was losing a lot of money for no gain due to this
    3) Nick went over Tom and Larry's heads (I'm surprised that he didn't get fired here, he should have gone to the SEC/whomever first)
    4) Tom and Larry were fired
    5) It would cost the company money in lawsuits if they fired Nick for uncovering incompetency in the company, so they just promoted him to appease him

    IMHO, the people above Tom and Larry probably did not like them, and were more eager to see them go than cover up their tracks.


    For your recommendation in #3, he SHOULD have been fired. Allow the company a real chance to fix the problem internally before calling in the Feds to tear stuff up. It's one thing to go over a boss. It's another thing entirely to, basically, rat out the whole company when, as far as Nick knew, Ted and Larry were the only ones screwing up. Once the big decision makers don't care or are "in" on it, then go get the "SEC/whomever".

    You might get fired first. I'd rather be fired than shut down a company, ending many honest jobs, just because I found incompetence/theft/whatever among two workers.

    Captcha: abbas -- Jackie Chan's on me!
  • Baad Puns 2012-09-11 13:44
    Infidel:
    more RAM than a goat festival


    Don't you mean a sheep festival?


    BAA!
  • chubertdev 2012-09-11 13:50
    ih8u:
    chubertdev:
    Well it was a cascade of events that allowed Nick to keep his job:

    1) Tom and Larry would selling the old hardware for profit on eBay
    2) The company was losing a lot of money for no gain due to this
    3) Nick went over Tom and Larry's heads (I'm surprised that he didn't get fired here, he should have gone to the SEC/whomever first)
    4) Tom and Larry were fired
    5) It would cost the company money in lawsuits if they fired Nick for uncovering incompetency in the company, so they just promoted him to appease him

    IMHO, the people above Tom and Larry probably did not like them, and were more eager to see them go than cover up their tracks.


    For your recommendation in #3, he SHOULD have been fired. Allow the company a real chance to fix the problem internally before calling in the Feds to tear stuff up. It's one thing to go over a boss. It's another thing entirely to, basically, rat out the whole company when, as far as Nick knew, Ted and Larry were the only ones screwing up. Once the big decision makers don't care or are "in" on it, then go get the "SEC/whomever".

    You might get fired first. I'd rather be fired than shut down a company, ending many honest jobs, just because I found incompetence/theft/whatever among two workers.

    Captcha: abbas -- Jackie Chan's on me!


    That attitude creates presidential platforms. :)
  • Not Dead Yet! 2012-09-11 13:51
    Sebastian Buchannon:
    I always say once you are 70 and shuffling round with a zimmerframe you won't be able to go chasing criminals anyway so you might as well get used to not running after thieves now.


    Well, let's all check into a nursing home right now and wait to die, then.
  • PiisAWheeL 2012-09-11 13:55
    snoofle:
    Garrison Fiord:
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
    Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?
    You should open up google and run a search for "Irony"
  • Jerry 2012-09-11 13:59
    Sebastian Buchannon:
    I always strongly advise people not to chase thieves. Instinctively people want to but you have no idea if the thief is armed or even has accomplices. Without the proper training civilians are apt to seriously injure themselves, the suspect, or an innocent bystander. Besides taking the law into your own hands is frowned upon by law enforcement.

    Fact: Your property is never as valuable as a life.
    Wrong. My property is more valuable to me than a thief's life. If he feels otherwise, he should choose a different career.
    Call the police who are better equipped to show up a few hours later and write a report and then say they can't return your unique property when it is found because you didn't report the serial numbers
    FTFY.
  • Phelps 2012-09-11 14:10
    Not really. Ted wasn't kicking a cut up to the CEO, so he was stealing from him.
  • Garrison Fiord 2012-09-11 14:54
    PiisAWheeL:
    snoofle:
    Garrison Fiord:
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
    Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?
    You should open up google and run a search for "Irony"

    I entered a bunch of posts that painted Remy in a really bad light. He modified all of them to make me look like an idiot. My original post said that he had all the language skills of a 3rd-grader. Despite the fact that he's been doing this to my posts consistently, I keep posting. It's almost like I'm too stupid to get the hint.
  • da Doctah 2012-09-11 14:57
    “There are two Windows boxes in the data-center,” Larry explained. “Those are mine. Do not touch them. Ever. Nod if you understand.”
    Nod? At what point did it become normal to insist on non-verbal response?

    What's next, "if you disagree, signify by sticking out your tongue and crossing your eyes"?
  • chubertdev 2012-09-11 15:07
    Thinking about it, TRWTF is that it seems like this is a big enough of a company where there would be IT people who could see network activity, and realize that a box has gone rogue. Hitting tons of .ru sites and IRC traffic? How does any company that has an IT department with more than 25 people let this happen?
  • monhts 2012-09-11 16:26
    Nick gained a few important facts during those monhts.

    I assumed it was a typo for the word 'months'. Since the postings are usually quite precise, I assume that it is a reference to another story where monhts is another unit of time or trwtf in another post?
  • Coyne 2012-09-11 16:49
    I don't even want to think about touching those servers. I'd be afraid of catching something...kind of like touching road-kill.
  • Dann of Thursday 2012-09-11 16:56
    Garrison Ford is a much lamer troll than Nagesh and that says a heck of a lot.

    Why is it that this site has the most boring trolls? Come on guys, you can do better, pretend I said I liked PHP or something.
  • Kjella 2012-09-11 17:01
    just stop it:
    I think you guys who are surprised that they fired Ted and Larry are missing the point. After Nick notified management and they looked into the situation, they discovered that the old servers were going on eBay. That is why Ted and Larry were fired. Stealing is the number one offense as far as your employer is concerned.
    Exactly this. If Larry was making the company money, he might get his chain yanked a bit to make him follow IT procedure but he'd stay. Ted wouldn't even have been an issue, had the replaced servers been used for other IT projects he'd only be the pushover IT guy who let Larry boss him around. And that means Nick would have been the one fired.
  • neminem 2012-09-11 17:01
    chubertdev:
    Thinking about it, TRWTF is that it seems like this is a big enough of a company where there would be IT people who could see network activity, and realize that a box has gone rogue. Hitting tons of .ru sites and IRC traffic? How does any company that has an IT department with more than 25 people let this happen?

    Seems to me the bigger a company you work for, the more likely it is that any given issue would have everyone think, "eh, someone else's problem."
  • Matt Westwood 2012-09-11 17:20
    Sebastian Buchannon:
    You assume the police would take a complaint by an ex-employee seriously. I sure wouldn't and I am reasonably familiar with the law on this. Ex-employee = disgruntled employee and just can't be trusted. They might claim bank data was lost but how can they prove it? they can't. Police 1, disgruntled employee 0.


    Where I live, the police have to take every report of a crime seriously. It may well be that (in the case of a simple burglary) it just gets logged (usually impossible to trace the culprits if they have taken basic precautions), but they at least have to make basic investigations. If it subsequently turns out to be a hoax then the crime of Wasting Police Time is recorded.

    But in cases of security breaches in a bank I believe the police will be all too eager to find out about it. If where you live they are likely to laugh at it - blimey, where the fuck do you live - Nigeria?
  • Matt Westwood 2012-09-11 17:23
    Sebastian Buchannon:
    Cbuttius:
    This story is not a WTF. The definition of a WTF is a story that makes you want to exclaim "WTF!".

    Someone misusing company property for illegal activity is reported and gets fired. Not a WTF.


    Sorry but if major theft isn't a WTF then what is? Put it this way, if you owned a shop selling widgets and someone walked in and took 5 widgets and ran out without paying, would you say "well that's not a WTF", or would you scream "WTF!!!" and chase after them?

    On a slightly off-topic, but related note, I always strongly advise people not to chase thieves. Instinctively people want to but you have no idea if the thief is armed or even has accomplices. Without the proper training civilians are apt to seriously injure themselves, the suspect, or an innocent bystander. Besides taking the law into your own hands is frowned upon by law enforcement.

    Fact: Your property is never as valuable as a life.

    Call, don't run. Call the police who are better equipped to confront criminals. I always say once you are 70 and shuffling round with a zimmerframe you won't be able to go chasing criminals anyway so you might as well get used to not running after thieves now.


    You'd think so, but the papers are full of reports of septegenarians overpowering gangs of muggers single-handed based on the combat techniques they learned while in the army ...
  • Aninnymouse 2012-09-11 18:49
    ASheridan:
    Garrison Fiord:
    You're butt hurt much, Remy?


    *Your


    That sort of does work.

    "You are butt hurt, Remy, no?"


    Captcha: eros
    People seem to be going on about the eros in Remy's article.
  • JJ 2012-09-11 18:58
    MightyM:
    Severity One:
    * 'Did someone set us up the bomb?', is that actually English? The words are all English, but the sentence originated somewhere else, possibly in a translation of a Chinese user manual.


    Have people really forgotten about the "All your base" meme already?

    However, he even got that wrong. It's

    someone set up us the bomb

    not

    someone set us up the bomb
  • Silverhill 2012-09-11 19:36
    Garrison Fiord:
    I entered a bunch of posts that painted Remy in a really bad light. He modified all of them to make me look like an idiot.
    Then he certainly had an easy task, eh?

    It's almost like I'm too stupid to get the hint.
    Only almost?
  • PiisAWheeL 2012-09-11 19:50
    Such anger and hatred on todays thread. Where's the love. Can't we all just get along? HIBT? Am I the only one?
  • Jim 2012-09-11 20:39
    Steve The Cynic:
    foo:
    Ted:
    “There are two Windows boxes in the data-center,” Larry explained. “Those are mine. Do not touch them. Ever.
    those boxes actually need a hardware upgrade
    So he is supposed to upgrade the hardware without touching it? I guess that might be vaguely possible with Linux boxes, but Windows? The magic in this story is more powerful than unicorns.
    You mean Windows doesn't support Remote Hot Swap(tm) yet?

    I did hear the story of an IBM mainframe in Japan somewhere that was up for seven and a half years, and during that time, every part of the hardware was replaced at least once, including the racks, with no downtime. (Well, of course, you take individual CPU boards (etc) out of service, but one at a time, until you have replaced them all.)

    But even there, someone had to touch the hardware that was being changed...
    I call shenanigans. I can't believe IBM could keep any machine running with no down time for longer than about 3 months.
    Apparently even High Availability systems (that theoretically keep running even through disasters) can't cope with patching without being brought down.... - i.e. we can deal with unexpected outages, but maintenance may kill us....
  • Uraguay 2012-09-11 20:43
    Cbuttius:
    This story is not a WTF. [b]The definition of a WTF is a story that makes you want to exclaim "WTF!"[b].

    Noted. I've been misusing the term WTF all these years.

    Cheers!!
  • fha; 2012-09-11 20:54
    Dann of Thursday:
    Garrison Ford is a much lamer troll than Nagesh and that says a heck of a lot.

    Why is it that this site has the most boring trolls? Come on guys, you can do better, pretend I said I liked PHP or something.
    You're only saying that....$10 says you're really a VB fanboi
  • Aussie Bob 2012-09-11 20:57
    Matt Westwood:
    Sebastian Buchannon:
    You assume the police would take a complaint by an ex-employee seriously. I sure wouldn't and I am reasonably familiar with the law on this. Ex-employee = disgruntled employee and just can't be trusted. They might claim bank data was lost but how can they prove it? they can't. Police 1, disgruntled employee 0.


    Where I live, the police have to take every report of a crime seriously. It may well be that (in the case of a simple burglary) it just gets logged (usually impossible to trace the culprits if they have taken basic precautions), but they at least have to make basic investigations. If it subsequently turns out to be a hoax then the crime of Wasting Police Time is recorded.

    But in cases of security breaches in a bank I believe the police will be all too eager to find out about it. If where you live they are likely to laugh at it - blimey, where the fuck do you live - Nigeria?
    So...we waste time reporting a crime about time wasting - what novel ideas you Brits come up with.

    I wouldn't really have thought the Orifices in the Police Farce (nor the Defectives) would be the ones to investigate security breaches like this - surely there'd be another Agency to do that, no?
  • Bruce 2012-09-11 21:43
    I presume you are deliberately avoiding the job yourself by misspelling 'write' as 'right'.
  • Decius 2012-09-11 23:03
    What you say?
  • Noah 2012-09-11 23:04
    I've always wondered, why the f*ck do people use windows server? It isn't even that good at being a desktop...
  • Ralph 2012-09-12 00:15
    Noah:
    I've always wondered, why the f*ck do people use windows server? It isn't even that good at being a desktop...
    Because Windows===Computer.

    And that's why mobile devices, Apple, Android, etc. will be the end of M$. People will finally realize there's a choice. And they will experience that they can learn how to work a user interface that doesn't overflow with arrogance and occasional inexplicable hostility.
  • Severity One 2012-09-12 03:01
    Steve The Cynic:
    Severity One:
    If I can't spend some considerable income on a graphics card with the sound of an F-16 taking off, so I can watch salmon jump up the waterfalls in Skyrim, it's not worth it.

    I prefer to buy graphics cards that don't make more noise (it's NOISE, not sound, because it's a largely undesirable side effect) than a supersonic-capable aircraft.

    (And the benchmark for noisy aircraft, apparently, is a Tu-95, with eight propellers that spin fast enough that the blade tips produce sonic booms.)
    Well, I've read about the noise level of the Bear, but never experienced it. I have, however, been at an air show where a Royal Netherlands Air Force F-16 took off with the afterburner on, and me more or less in a direct line behind it (at a safe distance, obviously). The noise level was quite astounding.

    The noise level of the graphics card is usually quite reasonable, but the combination of a hot and dusty climate, together with a gaming rig, is not a very good one. But I'm not very keen on voiding the warranty by going the liquid cooling way.
  • ysth 2012-09-12 03:04
    Garrison Fiord:
    I'm not saying its ideal, but at least you can convert to verbal and get some meaning out of it.


    You lost me. Whose ideal?
  • Severity One 2012-09-12 03:08
    Garrison Fiord:
    That asshat Remy modified my post, probably because I'm an idiot. I bet he deletes this one, because I'm a sucker and love losing bets.
    Maybe you're an idiot, maybe you're a sucker, maybe you're fake, maybe you're a troll, but there's one thing that you most certainly aren't: funny.
  • foxyshadis 2012-09-12 03:29
    John:
    History Teacher:
    ...I guess we all know what trWTF here is.

    Mind boggling!


    Yeah; some company actually promoted the guy who found the malware and reported the culprits that supported and enabled it. The usual story ends with Nick being fired for violating the "Do Not Touch" order of his superior. I've seen any number of cases like that (and once been the firee after reporting a serious security issue). I've heard rumors of people being rewarded for such things, but I've never personally seen it happen.

    Someone higher up was getting suspicious or just sick of their expenses already, or just plain had personal differences with them, and jumped on the chance to fire and humiliate them. Nick just happened to be the grease to get the machinery in motion, and somehow avoided being dumped in a wholesale cleansing.

    His promotion is obviously just collateral WTF in the grand scheme of things.
  • Sebastian Buchannon 2012-09-12 05:04
    [quote user="Jerry"][quote user="Sebastian Buchannon"]I always strongly advise people not to chase thieves. Instinctively people want to but you have no idea if the thief is armed or even has accomplices. Without the proper training civilians are apt to seriously injure themselves, the suspect, or an innocent bystander. Besides taking the law into your own hands is frowned upon by law enforcement.

    Fact: Your property is never as valuable as a life.[/quote]Wrong. My property is more valuable to me than a thief's life. If he feels otherwise, he should choose a different career.[/QUOTE]

    Everyone has a right to life, the law is very clear on that. You have no right to take someone's life for material gain or material retention*. Besides whatever government you belong to (UK? US?) you should let them deal with the situation as they are better equipped. I've seen it countless times civilians getting into bad situations because they thought they could do the police's job. You can't, just don't.

    *well this depends on juristriction but it's generally true.

    [quote]Call the police who are better equipped to show up a few hours later and write a report and then say they can't return your unique property when it is found because you didn't report the serial numbers[/quote]FTFY.[/quote]

    Then report the serial numbers. You can't expect the police to be psychic!
  • Cbuttius 2012-09-12 05:24
    Makes quite a good idea for anti-thief technology.

    Make all hardware "report" its unique serial number diagnostics when you go online. If your computing equipment gets stolen, you can then report to the police and they can "trace" if any of these components go "online" later.

    Probably will happen eventually.
  • Jean 2012-09-12 06:05
    There are times, sir, when men of good conscience cannot blindly follow orders.
  • oheso 2012-09-12 07:48
    AGray:
    The "Somebody set up us the bomb" bit is a reference to Zero Wing, a Sega Master Drive game that is known to be the best example of a poorly-localized Japanese game.

    Thus, it's not English. It's Engrish.


    Oh, I protest! It's a perfectly localized game!

    ... if your locale is Yokohama.
  • Lockwood 2012-09-12 07:51
    Remy Porter:
    But hey, you have a difficult time with content suitable for 12 year-olds. The first step is admitting you have a problem.


    That made my day!
  • oheso 2012-09-12 08:00
    PiisAWheeL:
    Where's the love.


    Orchard Road, Singapore
  • oheso 2012-09-12 08:04
    Cbuttius:


    Probably will happen eventually.


    Almost certainly is already happening with most hardware containing ICs made in China.
  • PsyWulf 2012-09-12 10:36
    I want my money back,i've gotten very comfortable predicting who gets fired for trying to do the right thing.

    Stop messing with my mind and lulling me into a false sense of confidence with unrealistic endings
  • AGray 2012-09-12 11:23
    oheso:
    AGray:
    The "Somebody set up us the bomb" bit is a reference to Zero Wing, a Sega Master Drive game that is known to be the best example of a poorly-localized Japanese game.

    Thus, it's not English. It's Engrish.


    Oh, I protest! It's a perfectly localized game!

    ... if your locale is Yokohama.


    ...What about Nagasaki?
  • oheso 2012-09-12 11:49
    AGray:


    ...What about Nagasaki?


    Nah, totally different dialect.
  • n9ds 2012-09-12 15:23
    So it's like Schroedinger's virus...it doesn't exist until you look for it? And maybe simultaneously someone else's computer becomes uninfected?
  • dignissim 2012-09-12 16:52
    Garrison Fiord:
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?


    And yet I had to read what you wrote no less than 3 times before I got it.
  • Appalled 2012-09-13 00:17
    Garrison Fiord:
    snoofle:
    Garrison Fiord:
    Remy, the idiot:
    Those two boxes were so loaded with viruses it was time to call in a nuclear strike to keep the infection from spreading.


    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?
    Ok, I've been at work since 4AM, so I'm a little groggy, but... an illiterate sentence critiquing a correct sentence?

    How about making your sentences readable? I don't care as much about grammar or spelling, but the point of writing is communication. ie, if your sentence is difficult to read, I don't care if you use "your" or "you're".

    Incidentally, what's up with a 4AM start time? Do you live on the west coast?

    I usually don't reply to these but Garrison, you can't even spell "write" (you spelled "right") and you have the gall to critique someone else's writing?
  • Gibbon1 2012-09-13 03:55
    Severity One:
    In a flash of institutional intelligence, both of them were fired, and Nick was given a promotion.
    Oh, come on, it never works that way. Of course Nick was sacked. Right?


    The answer is one of three.

    A. Larry is really good at sucking cash out of the customer and management will fire Nick if they keeps Larry happy.

    B. Management doesn't care either way. Nick keeps his job and Larry then tries to screw him usually to no avail.

    C. Management is not happy with Larry and his boss and is looking for a good excuse to can them.

    Considering Larry and his boss seem unable to jack the customer for some upgrade fees, and who can't jack the customer for that?, I pick C.
  • Herr Otto Flick 2012-09-13 07:44
    Decius:
    What you say?


    Take off every 'ZIG'.
  • MechanicJay 2012-09-13 12:27
    Steve The Cynic:
    foo:
    Ted:
    “There are two Windows boxes in the data-center,” Larry explained. “Those are mine. Do not touch them. Ever.
    those boxes actually need a hardware upgrade
    So he is supposed to upgrade the hardware without touching it? I guess that might be vaguely possible with Linux boxes, but Windows? The magic in this story is more powerful than unicorns.
    You mean Windows doesn't support Remote Hot Swap(tm) yet?

    I did hear the story of an IBM mainframe in Japan somewhere that was up for seven and a half years, and during that time, every part of the hardware was replaced at least once, including the racks, with no downtime. (Well, of course, you take individual CPU boards (etc) out of service, but one at a time, until you have replaced them all.)

    But even there, someone had to touch the hardware that was being changed...


    There are some VMS clusters out there that measure their uptime in decades.
  • AP 2012-09-13 15:36
    F-16 is quiet. I once had the opportunity at CDG to be behind a Concorde taking off, with the window in the cockpit open on our plane. Now that was loud!

    Fully loaded B-52 came close!

    Never been near a Bear luckily.
  • JTSandvik 2012-09-14 11:04
    Sebastian Buchannon:



    Call the police who are better equipped to show up a few hours later and write a report and then say they can't return your unique property when it is found because you didn't report the serial numbers

    FTFY.


    Then report the serial numbers. You can't expect the police to be psychic!

    The thing with unique things are that they are unique, and thus do not have a serial number.
  • John Hensley 2012-09-14 13:03
    After Nick reported him Larry had a conversation that went something like this:

    "That there's Boss Kean's data-center. And those are your boxes in it. Now boy, what are your boxes doin' in Boss Kean's data-center?

    "Better get in there and get 'em out, boy."
  • John 2012-09-14 17:15
    Sebastian Buchannon:


    On a slightly off-topic, but related note, I always strongly advise people not to chase thieves. Instinctively people want to but you have no idea if the thief is armed or even has accomplices. Without the proper training civilians are apt to seriously injure themselves, the suspect, or an innocent bystander. Besides taking the law into your own hands is frowned upon by law enforcement.

    Fact: Your property is never as valuable as a life.

    Call, don't run. Call the police who are better equipped to confront criminals. I always say once you are 70 and shuffling round with a zimmerframe you won't be able to go chasing criminals anyway so you might as well get used to not running after thieves now.


    Which while eminently sensible from a personal point of view is a classic tragedy of the commons. By lowering the risk of being chased immediately by untrained and possibly unreasonably violent members of the public you directly increase the attractiveness and safety of theft - which is disadvantageous to all of us by making it more likely that we will be the victim of theft.

    This also applies to violent crime, when the public 'walks on by' because they are (understandably) scared, or advised by the police to not get involved because they are not professional.
  • The Queens English 2012-09-17 07:44
    Garrison Fiord:

    Is there any damn, change that we could get an editor who can right at a 3rd grade level at least? What happen to that call-out for new writers? Did someone set us up the bomb?


    Seriously. I hope this is simply an ironic joke...
  • jas88 2012-09-17 19:21
    He was probably lucky that the boss was actually engaging in fraud, selling the "faulty" servers and pocketing the money - otherwise, I'm sure the alternative scenario where he gets all the blame for 'interfering' with the plague-ridden machines and both money and customer data keep leaking away.

    All too common, with over-funded empire-building lone-wolf sysadmins in their locked lairs with fully loaded quad-head Mac Pros to do very little work on!
  • larelogio 2012-09-18 12:26
    Sebastian Buchannon:


    Everyone has a right to life, the law is very clear on that. You have no right to take someone's life for material gain or material retention*. Besides whatever government you [/b]belong to[/b] (UK? US?) you should let them deal with the situation as they are better equipped. I've seen it countless times civilians getting into bad situations because they thought they could do the police's job. You can't, just don't.



    Emphasis mine.

    From http://www.thefreedictionary.com/belong

    3. To have in one's possession. Often used with to: "The earth belongs to the living" (Thomas Jefferson).


    Do you belong to a government? Are you a subject to its police? You talk and advocate acting like one.

    Captcha: ingenium. Or lack of it.


  • Lucius 2012-09-18 21:50
    Remy, stop acting like a spoiled child. Modifying other people's comments is not OK. It lessens your integrity, and makes you and this site look bad.
  • Jim 2012-09-21 06:09
    Schroedinger's Cat is a duality problem (if you ignore the obvious flaw*), not a quantum one.

    Let me (try to) explain: With the cat sealed in a box, along with a radio source, geiger counter, hammer and vial of poison, the expected state of the cat at the end of a given time period is either dead or alive. Until the box is opened and an outside observer*(!) measures the state of the cat, it is both dead and alive - a quantum 1 and zero at the same time. Heisenberg had a lot of fun with this as well.

    *The obvious flaw is this: there is not only a measuring device in the box (the geiger counter!), there is also an observer (the cat!), both of which remove doubt as to the state of the cat at any and all points during the experiment.

    As for the [whatever] not existing until you look for it: loosely connected with the above experiment, and intimately connected with Heisenberg's experiment, which postulated that the more accurately you measure a particles position the less accurately you can measure its momentum. Following on from that, a ways down the line, the palm of your hand exists everywhere as a tenuous field of energy until you perceive it... at which point it becomes a solid object on the end of your arm.
  • Matthew 2012-10-09 17:59
    Remy,

    Modifying a commenter's post is one of the most dishonest things a web author can do. I actually lost respect for you and for The Daily WTF after seeing this exchange. I don't care if the commenter was being a jerk; responding like this makes you look even worse.

    In the future, please ignore or calmly respond to nit pickers, jerks, etc.
  • Erewhon 2012-11-02 12:29
    Finally a WTF with a happy ending. I no longer feel the need to rinse my brain in bleach after 10 WTF articles....
  • slapdash 2013-11-04 16:22
    Of course they promoted him- got to keep him quiet about the massive security breach in a banking system.