The Tim Problem

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  • ObiWayneKenobi 2010-07-27 09:05
    So, to summarize:


    Highly-Paid Consultant (HPC) goes to client site, finds moron as "IT Administrator" who hasn't done any prereqs he was asked to and asks ridiculous questions, impeding training. HPC sends moron away with mindless busywork so he can train the users. On the return flight, HPC erases all of moron's work and takes a nap.


    Also, first.
  • Matt Westwood 2010-07-27 09:10
    A tale worthy of The Office. Imagining Ricky Gervais as Tim Brent.
  • Anon 2010-07-27 09:11
    What format do you want these comments in? I can do Excel, Word, Access or CSV.
  • Anon 2010-07-27 09:12
    ObiWayneKenobi:

    Also, first.


    Can you go back and put first all in uppercase? Also switch the r and the i. Then add your department and phone number. See you in a couple of hours.
  • bp 2010-07-27 09:12
    XML.
  • Kerin 2010-07-27 09:16
    Awesome. Summing up IN ADDITION TO a "first" post is way less likely to get deleted, and it's way easier than actually contribuing!  Way to maximize synergies and utilize ideal cost-to-result ratios, guy. 

    To wit, the real WTF is that he didn't have Tim supply the data in an XML file. I thought they were an enterprise!
  • Knux2 2010-07-27 09:17
    Most excellent.
  • Dilbertino 2010-07-27 09:21
    Mike should move up to Spider. It's more challenging (ergo takes more time) than Freecell.
  • Izhido 2010-07-27 09:25
    ... of course, TRWTF here is that this insensitive clod Mike sent poor, hard-working Tim to do lots of things, just to erase them on his flight home... that bastard Mike. Am I right?
  • Rodnas 2010-07-27 09:31
    Anon:
    ObiWayneKenobi:

    Also, first.


    Can you go back and put first all in uppercase? Also switch the r and the i. Then add your department and phone number. See you in a couple of hours.


    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.
  • jonnyq 2010-07-27 09:32
    Izhido:
    ... of course, TRWTF here is that this insensitive clod Mike sent poor, hard-working Tim to do lots of things, just to erase them on his flight home... that bastard Mike. Am I right?


    That's great. Can we get that in a monospace font?
  • Steve The Cynic 2010-07-27 09:35
    Rodnas:
    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.


    No, No, No. The number should be 8675309

    (Showing my age...)
  • BlueCollarAstronaut 2010-07-27 09:50
    hmm, it's nice that it supports thin client access and works over Terminal Services, but is there any way to make it work over a network so the user doesn't have to be physically in the office to use the software?
  • pitchingchris 2010-07-27 09:51
    Great story. I'll have to remember this trick if I'm ever in the same situation.
  • Dazed 2010-07-27 09:55
    Ah, that takes me back. I once had a project where I and a colleague went to the client site to do two days of prototype integration testing. After the first hour or two we worked out that the most efficient approach was for one of us to do all the work and the other to keep the customer representative at a safe distance. He was actually quite a nice chap, but definitely not the person to have around when you're doing something on a fixed price basis.
  • pitchingchris 2010-07-27 10:01
    Dazed:
    Ah, that takes me back. I once had a project where I and a colleague went to the client site to do two days of prototype integration testing. After the first hour or two we worked out that the most efficient approach was for one of us to do all the work and the other to keep the customer representative at a safe distance. He was actually quite a nice chap, but definitely not the person to have around when you're doing something on a fixed price basis.


    you must be mike's coworker
  • RBiter 2010-07-27 10:01
    At the beginning of the story I was thinking, why is he "the Tim." As the story developed I knew why.
  • The Nerve 2010-07-27 10:01
    Let me tell you the best way to convert all of these comments to Spanish.
  • Kyle Z. 2010-07-27 10:07
    Just an ordinary day on IT... Sad but true!

    I'll remember that when I face a guy like Tim again.

  • GettinSadda 2010-07-27 10:24
    The Nerve:
    Let me tell you the best way to convert all of these comments to Spanish.

    http://tinyurl.com/2woothz
  • toth 2010-07-27 10:29
    we're just going to type them in by hand.


    TRWTF
  • Balentius 2010-07-27 10:36
    No, the REAL wtf is that it took Tim an hour to add the phone number and extension... Did he have to go around to each desk and look at it?
  • whiskeyjack 2010-07-27 10:39
    I've seen people like that. They either have self-esteem issues, or an inferiority complex, or both. They MUST be seen as helpful, and knowledgeable, and smarter than anyone else in the room. They'll make comments that have no purpose other than to tell everyone else in the room "Look at me! I know what I'm talking about! I'm so smart!"

    To bring in someone else who actually DOES know something more than they do, is seen as a personal affront and a challenge.

    Unfortunately, these people are everywhere. There are salesmen working in stores who cannot stand the possibility that the customer might know more about the product than they do. Conversely, there are customers who enter absolutely confident that they know more about the product than any salesmen or even the engineers or contractors responsible for creating or installing the product. Trades, renovations, contracting, software, sales, food service, you name it, "Tims" are everywhere.

    Luckily there are various techniques to out-Tim the Tims.
  • Skawt 2010-07-27 10:39
    How do I become an traveling consultant guy? You could even skip the highly paid part, I just want to travel at someone elses expense.

  • t-bone 2010-07-27 10:40
    Rodnas:
    Anon:
    ObiWayneKenobi:

    Also, first.


    Can you go back and put first all in uppercase? Also switch the r and the i. Then add your department and phone number. See you in a couple of hours.


    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.


    I call shenanigans

    There is no ITC department in the Belgian embassy in The Hague, Netherlands. (where the phone number goes to, call it)

  • boog 2010-07-27 10:43
    Finally, when he saw a PGP file, he commended Mike's team for using "Plain-Good Privacy" security methods.

    WTF? Plain-Good?

    Captcha: luctus; It's kind of like a lucky cactus.
  • Gram ma 2010-07-27 10:46
    boog:
    Finally, when he saw a PGP file, he commended Mike's team for using "Plain-Good Privacy" security methods.

    WTF? Plain-Good?


    Way to miss a joke there.
  • Anon 2010-07-27 10:47
    boog:
    Finally, when he saw a PGP file, he commended Mike's team for using "Plain-Good Privacy" security methods.

    WTF? Plain-Good?

    Captcha: luctus; It's kind of like a lucky cactus.

    To be fair, I was never a fan of the name Pretty Good Privacy anyway.
  • Swedish tard 2010-07-27 10:50
    Dazed:
    Ah, that takes me back. I once had a project where I and a colleague went to the client site to do two days of prototype integration testing. After the first hour or two we worked out that the most efficient approach was for one of us to do all the work and the other to keep the customer representative at a safe distance. He was actually quite a nice chap, but definitely not the person to have around when you're doing something on a fixed price basis.


    That is the exact reason we send two techs to every customer when they pay for on site support. One to fend off nosy managers so that the one with his/her back free can get the job done. >.<
    We are also the most expensive in the business, but apparenty our customers really love our great work.. Ah well. :) Good pay at least.
  • Dries K 2010-07-27 10:50
    My thoughts exactly. This plot only lacks a Freelove Freeway alternative to make for a genuine training day.
  • Machtyn 2010-07-27 10:55
    Anon:
    What format do you want these comments in? I can do Excel, Word, Access or CSV.


    I would like mine in XHTML.

    (I would have said XML, but someone took that answer)
  • Buddy 2010-07-27 11:06
    Anon:

    To be fair, I was never a fan of the name Pretty Good Privacy anyway.


    How about DSMP? Doesn't Suck Much
  • Mike 2010-07-27 11:26
    Dilbertino:
    Mike should move up to Spider. It's more challenging (ergo takes more time) than Freecell.


    Really? I find Freecell more challenging than even the advanced levels of spider.
  • Mike 2010-07-27 11:29
    Anon:
    To be fair, I was never a fan of the name Pretty Good Privacy anyway.


    Well, since it was a product of "Phil's Pretty Good Software" then I think it was a Pretty Good name. They also had a couple of Pretty Good games and a Pretty Good command-shell replacement, if I recall. And that's probably right, because I have a Pretty Good memory.
  • newfweiler 2010-07-27 11:34
    Mike:
    Anon:
    To be fair, I was never a fan of the name Pretty Good Privacy anyway.


    Well, since it was a product of "Phil's Pretty Good Software" then I think it was a Pretty Good name. They also had a couple of Pretty Good games and a Pretty Good command-shell replacement, if I recall. And that's probably right, because I have a Pretty Good memory.


    I bought my copy at Ralph's Pretty Good Grocery. "If we don't have it, you probably can get along without it."
  • Inigo Montoya 2010-07-27 12:00
    BlueCollarAstronaut:
    hmm, it's nice that it supports thin client access and works over Terminal Services, but is there any way to make it work over a network so the user doesn't have to be physically in the office to use the software?


    And while you're at it, can you come up with a version that can be used in an embedded system environment? Don't forget that there might not be a file system present!
  • Dilbertino 2010-07-27 12:11
    Mike:
    Dilbertino:
    Mike should move up to Spider. It's more challenging (ergo takes more time) than Freecell.


    Really? I find Freecell more challenging than even the advanced levels of spider.


    Well, Freecell games are (almost) all winnable, having streaks of a few dozen wins is not that hard for experienced players. Advanced Spider is much less 'winnable', so that could be defined as more challenging : )
  • Mogri 2010-07-27 12:22
    Mike:
    Dilbertino:
    Mike should move up to Spider. It's more challenging (ergo takes more time) than Freecell.


    Really? I find Freecell more challenging than even the advanced levels of spider.


    If someone tells you he's beaten four-suit Spider Solitaire, he is lying.
  • Spider Flyer 2010-07-27 12:31
    Really?? Then I must be lying.

    That's what the 'undo card' and 'continue game' features are for.

    Four-suit Spider Solitaire is like the 'remove-tile' Majong games: if you don't get the first time, back up and try again, and again, and ...
  • bl@h 2010-07-27 12:33
    To the frist poster:

    Could I have a couple extra fields displayed within my thin clients interface to TDWTF and could I also have them sorted please? And if you could come in on Saturday that would be great mmmmk?
  • warrior 2010-07-27 12:35
    "Tim" is really Michael Scott, right?
  • wtf 2010-07-27 12:39
    Spider Flyer:
    Really?? Then I must be lying.

    That's what the 'undo card' and 'continue game' features are for.

    Four-suit Spider Solitaire is like the 'remove-tile' Majong games: if you don't get the first time, back up and try again, and again, and ...


    If you can't beat the game, defeat the purpose.
    What's with this solitaire crap, anyway? Have you people never heard of rogue?
  • boog 2010-07-27 12:47
    Gram ma:
    Way to miss a joke there.

    Right. That's what I was doing. Thanks for the assessment.
  • Tommy Tutone 2010-07-27 13:08
    Steve The Cynic:
    Rodnas:
    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.


    No, No, No. The number should be 8675309

    (Showing my age...)


    Okay, why are you living with Jenny?!?!
  • badcaseofspace 2010-07-27 13:19
    public class Tim : IFailure
  • SpiderJunky 2010-07-27 13:22
    Ha! It can be done... just takes a red-eyed trance state
  • Jaime 2010-07-27 13:24
    Skawt:
    How do I become an traveling consultant guy? You could even skip the highly paid part, I just want to travel at someone elses expense.

    Trust me, don't do it. You'll end up with fun weekends where your return flight gets delayed and you get back to your home airport a few hours before the next flight leaves. There will be 10,000 other travel annoyances from pretty to disastrous, all so that you can see the places where tourists don't want to go. Conferences and training seminars are sometimes in cool places, but consulting gigs are usually in places like Bloomfield Connecticut, which is basically a 100 square mile office park.
  • Dilbertino 2010-07-27 13:26
    wtf:

    What's with this solitaire crap, anyway? Have you people never heard of rogue?


    I don't even want to know how many K-hours I've spent playing Rogue (DOS version)... and still never finished it without save-and-restore. Every two years or so, I spend a few manic weeks trying... It is my solemn goal to finish it (cleanly) before I die!!! (*_*)
  • The Other Tim 2010-07-27 13:26
    Balentius:
    No, the REAL wtf is that it took Tim an hour to add the phone number and extension... Did he have to go around to each desk and look at it?
    I think you guys are being a little too harsh. One time I had to add a phone number column, but the data was in Office 2007 format, so I had to upgrade. I downloaded the install image, but it was too big for my CD. So I had to put it on a DVD. My computer didn't have a DVD drive so I bought one and installed it. That made an interrupt conflict with my zip drive, so I had to upgrade to Windows Vista. And after that, things got really nasty.

    So if he did it in an hour I think that's Pretty Good.
  • Bryan The K 2010-07-27 13:31
    warrior:
    "Tim" is really Michael Scott, right?


    Close, Dwight Schrute
  • wtf 2010-07-27 13:33
    Dilbertino:
    wtf:

    What's with this solitaire crap, anyway? Have you people never heard of rogue?


    I don't even want to know how many K-hours I've spent playing Rogue (DOS version)... and still never finished it without save-and-restore. Every two years or so, I spend a few manic weeks trying... It is my solemn goal to finish it (cleanly) before I die!!! (*_*)


    That's what I'm sayin'. Guy's got a few hours waiting around and he's playing solitaire? There's the wtf.

    (actually, sick as I am, I have this urge to try to write a rogue clone - just to see if I know it as well as I ought to, after all of these hours.)
  • EngleBart 2010-07-27 13:38
    t-bone:
    Rodnas:
    Anon:
    ObiWayneKenobi:

    Also, first.


    Can you go back and put first all in uppercase? Also switch the r and the i. Then add your department and phone number. See you in a couple of hours.


    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.


    I call shenanigans

    There is no ITC department in the Belgian embassy in The Hague, Netherlands. (where the phone number goes to, call it)


    Of course there is, but it is classified.

    Just ask for Major van der Voort, it should connect you to the correct extension. This is not a real person's name, it is just code for "the admin on duty."

    Of course, once you are talking with this person, you will need the day's pass phrase to reschedule jobs or have them create a list of employee names, extensions, and birthdays and post them to a publicly available web server. When they ask for the format, you must answer correctly: XML version 1.0 encoded in UTF-8 or else you will blow your cover.
  • cconroy 2010-07-27 14:09
    Dilbertino:
    wtf:

    What's with this solitaire crap, anyway? Have you people never heard of rogue?


    I don't even want to know how many K-hours I've spent playing Rogue (DOS version)... and still never finished it without save-and-restore. Every two years or so, I spend a few manic weeks trying... It is my solemn goal to finish it (cleanly) before I die!!! (*_*)


    I'm in the same boat. I've been playing the DOS version off and on since about 10 years old and have never won without cheating. Lately it's been my game of choice while riding the train to work; now I only play solitaire when I get frustrated from being killed by a medusa for the nth time in a row. I've actually considered porting Rogomatic to DOS just to be able to see a legitimate win...
  • Jenny 2010-07-27 14:12
    Steve The Cynic:
    Rodnas:
    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.


    No, No, No. The number should be 8675309

    (Showing my age...)


    No, No, NO! That's MY phone number!
  • Axl 2010-07-27 14:12
    GettinSadda:
    The Nerve:
    Let me tell you the best way to convert all of these comments to Spanish.

    http://tinyurl.com/2woothz


    TRWTF is everyone uses bit.ly now. Amirite?
  • greg 2010-07-27 14:35
    Actually try +0118 999 88199 9119 725 3
  • Darth Excel 2010-07-27 14:41
    I have formatted the data - pray I don't format it any further.
  • The Nerve 2010-07-27 15:49
    wtf:
    Spider Flyer:
    Really?? Then I must be lying.

    That's what the 'undo card' and 'continue game' features are for.

    Four-suit Spider Solitaire is like the 'remove-tile' Majong games: if you don't get the first time, back up and try again, and again, and ...


    If you can't beat the game, defeat the purpose.
    What's with this solitaire crap, anyway? Have you people never heard of rogue?


    I don't know how you guys get away with that...what I need is a game that I can play that makes it look like I'm writing/editing Java code.
  • Brian 2010-07-27 16:03
    Not just Pretty Good... Plain Good
  • fjf 2010-07-27 16:49
    Spider Flyer:
    Really?? Then I must be lying.

    That's what the 'undo card' and 'continue game' features are for.

    Four-suit Spider Solitaire is like the 'remove-tile' Majong games: if you don't get the first time, back up and try again, and again, and ...

    So you're telling us the games have managed to program a back-tracking algorithm on your brain's hardware.
  • fjf 2010-07-27 16:53
    The Nerve:
    I don't know how you guys get away with that...what I need is a game that I can play that makes it look like I'm writing/editing Java code.

    There is such a game:
    - Pick a random code snippet from TDWTF.
    - Change it to non-WTFy code.
    Object: Finish before going insane.
  • Mark J. 2010-07-27 17:19
    Jaime:
    Skawt:
    How do I become an traveling consultant guy? You could even skip the highly paid part, I just want to travel at someone elses expense.

    Trust me, don't do it. You'll end up with fun weekends where your return flight gets delayed and you get back to your home airport a few hours before the next flight leaves. There will be 10,000 other travel annoyances from pretty to disastrous, all so that you can see the places where tourists don't want to go. Conferences and training seminars are sometimes in cool places, but consulting gigs are usually in places like Bloomfield Connecticut, which is basically a 100 square mile office park.


    In my experience, conferences and training seminars are _always_ in cool places - the northwestern U.S. in winter!

    Captcha: praesent - a birthdaey present
  • nobody 2010-07-27 19:00
    The Other Tim:
    Balentius:
    No, the REAL wtf is that it took Tim an hour to add the phone number and extension... Did he have to go around to each desk and look at it?
    I think you guys are being a little too harsh. One time I had to add a phone number column, but the data was in Office 2007 format, so I had to upgrade. I downloaded the install image, but it was too big for my CD. So I had to put it on a DVD. My computer didn't have a DVD drive so I bought one and installed it. That made an interrupt conflict with my zip drive, so I had to upgrade to Windows Vista. And after that, things got really nasty.

    So if he did it in an hour I think that's Pretty Good.

    Don't you mean Plain Good?
  • The Formatting Guy 2010-07-27 19:12
    I hope he checked the "Quick Format" checkbox 'cause doing a full format on a flash drive is a really bad idea!
  • Mischief 2010-07-27 19:14
    Format? I would have zeroed out that bitch.
  • Herby 2010-07-27 19:56
    This reminds me of the sign I once (it was a while ago) in an auto repair shop:

    Shop Rates:
    Hourly $25.00
    If you watch $35.00
    If you advise $45.00
    If you help $55.00

    You pays your money, you takes your chances!!

    Other comment: On a recent trip to a Lexus dealer, I noticed that the rate was $155.00/hour. Obviously "gold plated" labor! Obviously I don't there any more!
  • ClaudeSuck.de 2010-07-27 21:09
    Dilbertino:
    Mike:
    Dilbertino:
    Mike should move up to Spider. It's more challenging (ergo takes more time) than Freecell.


    Really? I find Freecell more challenging than even the advanced levels of spider.


    Well, Freecell games are (almost) all winnable, having streaks of a few dozen wins is not that hard for experienced players. Advanced Spider is much less 'winnable', so that could be defined as more challenging : )


    In FreeCell, cards are not dealt randomly. Rather, there are 32,000 distinct numbered games, each representing a different predetermined deal of the cards. According to the help, "It is believed (although not proven) that every game is winnable." In fact, it has been proven that game #11982 is indeed not winnable.

    http://www.joegrossberg.com/archives/000008.html

    Tired of not winning a certain game of Free Cell try this: Ctrl+Shift+F10 then abort and play one more card.

  • Slicerwizard 2010-07-27 21:36
    ClaudeSuck.de:
    In FreeCell, cards are not dealt randomly. Rather, there are 32,000 distinct numbered games, each representing a different predetermined deal of the cards.

    Randomizer seed value COMPREHENSION FAIL.
  • Anonymous 2010-07-27 22:03
    Matt Westwood:
    A tale worthy of The Office. Imagining Ricky Gervais as Tim Brent.
    I mean really, all while reading this I kept feeling that maybe "Mike" stole the plot from one episode.
  • Mo 2010-07-27 22:57
    *Plain Good
  • Falcon 2010-07-27 23:16
    Mischief:
    Format? I would have zeroed out that bitch.

    I'm afraid even that won't do it - wear levelling on Flash drives.
  • Scott Selikoff 2010-07-28 00:05
    Anonymous:
    I mean really, all while reading this I kept feeling that maybe "Mike" stole the plot from one episode.


    But while The Office is based on fiction, this story actually happened.
  • wtf 2010-07-28 00:13
    The Nerve:


    I don't know how you guys get away with that...what I need is a game that I can play that makes it look like I'm writing/editing Java code.


    You're probably safe enough playing rogue. Odds are your boss wouldn't be able to recognize it as a game.
  • The third Tim 2010-07-28 03:27
    The Other Tim:
    So if he did it in an hour I think that's Plain Good.


    FTFY
  • tovarich 2010-07-28 03:44
    Dilbertino:
    Mike should move up to Spider. It's more challenging (ergo takes more time) than Freecell.

    Who knows? He might be one of the OCD-types that insists on solving every single combination on FreeCell (the old win-version had 32k (minus one) solvable ones).
    My father did this over a period of time, but gave up on #14,352 when he upgraded to XP and discovered they had added almost a million new combos.
  • Ravenheart 2010-07-28 04:35
    The Other Tim:
    Balentius:
    No, the REAL wtf is that it took Tim an hour to add the phone number and extension... Did he have to go around to each desk and look at it?
    I think you guys are being a little too harsh. One time I had to add a phone number column, but the data was in Office 2007 format, so I had to upgrade. I downloaded the install image, but it was too big for my CD. So I had to put it on a DVD. My computer didn't have a DVD drive so I bought one and installed it. That made an interrupt conflict with my zip drive, so I had to upgrade to Windows Vista. And after that, things got really nasty.


    Your WTF is you didn't use a virtual drive, say use Daemon Tools Lite.
  • Sjaak 2010-07-28 05:19
    Rodnas:
    Anon:
    ObiWayneKenobi:

    Also, first.


    Can you go back and put first all in uppercase? Also switch the r and the i. Then add your department and phone number. See you in a couple of hours.


    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.


    Great, so you work in the Hague? :P
  • m 2010-07-28 05:38
    toth:
    we're just going to type them in by hand.


    TRWTF

    Are you suggesting that you'd write an import script for a one-time job that can be done manually in about 15 minutes?
  • Chris 2010-07-28 05:50
    Buddy:
    Anon:

    To be fair, I was never a fan of the name Pretty Good Privacy anyway.


    How about DSMP? Doesn't Suck Much


    I had a version of tar for the Amiga called BTNtar .. Better Than Nothing.
  • CMMI Snob 2010-07-28 06:04
    The Other Tim:
    So if he did it in an hour I think that's Pretty Good.


    Someone should commend Tim on his Pretty Good Performance.


    captcha: transverbero - My 'doing' word to describe whatever the hell my spanish bro is doing right now.
  • Matt Simmons 2010-07-28 07:43
    How do you know that you're "The Other Tim", and not "The Tim"?
  • nobulate 2010-07-28 07:59
    Ravenheart:
    The Other Tim:
    Balentius:
    No, the REAL wtf is that it took Tim an hour to add the phone number and extension...
    ...And after that, things got really nasty.

    Your WTF is you didn't use a virtual drive, say use Daemon Tools Lite.


    If only Windows could: mount -o loop disk.iso /mnt/disk
  • Steve The Cynic 2010-07-28 08:11
    Tommy Tutone:
    Okay, why are you living with Jenny?!?!

    Admit it, you're just jealous...
  • Thomas 2010-07-28 08:28
    Steve The Cynic:
    Rodnas:
    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.


    No, No, No. The number should be 8675309

    (Showing my age...)


    I'm 27 and I thougt of Tommy Tutone right away.
  • Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot 2010-07-28 08:40
    My guess is that Tim has some high-functional form of Asperger Syndrome. I have seen it before, and I have learned to deal with those people. The best thing is indeed to give them little jobs like compiling lists in alphabetical order. They will probably do it manually so it will take a couple of hours, but meanwhile they leave you alone.

    Beware: they want to be "friends" with you because you "appreciate" them. Meh. They are just annoying little puppies. When they try to become friends with you, give them some more silly tasks. And RUN! You should be on the next plane. Also don't give them your personal phone number or email address.
  • frits 2010-07-28 08:59
    Scott Selikoff:
    Anonymous:
    I mean really, all while reading this I kept feeling that maybe "Mike" stole the plot from one episode.


    But while The Office is based on fiction, this story actually happened.


    Are you suggesting that there isn't ever any fiction posted here?
  • JP 2010-07-28 10:23
    Did Tim graduate from DeVry?
  • Outside observer 2010-07-28 11:42
    Buddy:
    Anon:

    To be fair, I was never a fan of the name Pretty Good Privacy anyway.


    How about DSMP? Doesn't Suck Much

    Reminds me of the tagline on the side of a coffee delivery truck in my old town, "Consistently good."

    Even if accurate, it just seemed so unimpressive. We used to come up with alternate taglines they could use. "Never terrible." "Always mediocre." "Not the worst thing you've ever tasted."
  • germaican 2010-07-28 12:07
    now, that is a real WTF,
    you could just have opened the file with 7zip and looked straight at XML, that would have saved time.

    captcha:amet
    short for amen-hit, when a priest beats you up
  • fjf 2010-07-28 12:42
    m:
    toth:
    we're just going to type them in by hand.


    TRWTF

    Are you suggesting that you'd write an import script for a one-time job that can be done manually in about 15 minutes?

    Are you suggesting they need the user list only for this one customer?
  • vovo 2010-07-28 12:46
    tovarich:
    Dilbertino:
    Mike should move up to Spider. It's more challenging (ergo takes more time) than Freecell.

    Who knows? He might be one of the OCD-types that insists on solving every single combination on FreeCell (the old win-version had 32k (minus one) solvable ones).
    My father did this over a period of time, but gave up on #14,352 when he upgraded to XP and discovered they had added almost a million new combos.


    I was addicted to Spider until I got Angry Birds on my iPhone. Loads of replay value.
  • anonymous 2010-07-28 13:50
    just an hour sounds like Pretty Good Progress to me
  • CoderDan 2010-07-28 17:44
    badcaseofspace:
    public class Tim : IFailure


    +1

  • Mark J. 2010-07-28 18:04
    Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot:
    My guess is that Tim has some high-functional form of Asperger Syndrome. I have seen it before, and I have learned to deal with those people. The best thing is indeed to give them little jobs like compiling lists in alphabetical order. They will probably do it manually so it will take a couple of hours, but meanwhile they leave you alone.

    Beware: they want to be "friends" with you because you "appreciate" them. Meh. They are just annoying little puppies. When they try to become friends with you, give them some more silly tasks. And RUN! You should be on the next plane. Also don't give them your personal phone number or email address.


    Tim would probably benefit from group therapy...

    CAPTCHA: ullamcorper - an officer or employee of the ullam corporation (of course!)
  • Ryan 2010-07-28 19:01
    You mean plain good.
  • Starport 2010-07-28 19:30
    Anon:
    What format do you want these comments in? I can do Excel, Word, Access or CSV.


    A mint FAT32?
  • Anonymous Bystander 2010-07-28 23:17
    Mogri:
    If someone tells you he's beaten four-suit Spider Solitaire, he is lying.


    even if he's Dr. Otto Gunther Octavius ?
  • Matri 2010-07-29 00:41
    Anonymous Bystander:
    Mogri:
    If someone tells you he's beaten four-suit Spider Solitaire, he is lying.


    even if he's Dr. Otto Gunther Octavius ?


    Wait... "Gunther"?
  • Parallel Universe 2010-07-29 10:08
    fjf:
    m:
    toth:
    we're just going to type them in by hand.


    TRWTF

    Are you suggesting that you'd write an import script for a one-time job that can be done manually in about 15 minutes?

    Are you suggesting they need the user list only for this one customer?


    yes... unless they can find another customer who happens to employ people with exactly the same names and positions
  • IT Girl 2010-07-29 12:59
    Steve The Cynic:
    Rodnas:
    FRIST - ITC - +31 70 3123456

    Done.


    No, No, No. The number should be 8675309

    (Showing my age...)


    I used to know the person that owned that number (seriously, won't give you the area code since it's probably back in circulation). They had to have it changed because of all the calls asking for Jenny.
  • SQLDave 2010-07-29 21:57
    "... the knowledge was as relevant as metallurgy is to driving a racing car."

    Nice analogy (or simile, or whatever it is).
  • SQLDave 2010-07-29 22:06
    Balentius:
    No, the REAL wtf is that it took Tim an hour to add the phone number and extension... Did he have to go around to each desk and look at it?


    Yes. And then he had to take a picture of the phone, get the film developed, put the pictures on a wooden table, scan them in, etc., etc.
  • fjf 2010-07-29 23:23
    Parallel Universe:
    fjf:
    m:
    toth:
    we're just going to type them in by hand.


    TRWTF

    Are you suggesting that you'd write an import script for a one-time job that can be done manually in about 15 minutes?

    Are you suggesting they need the user list only for this one customer?


    yes... unless they can find another customer who happens to employ people with exactly the same names and positions

    And the LTOW (Lamest Troll Of the Week) award goes to ...
  • Avenger 2010-07-30 07:54
    Plain Good, not Pretty Good
  • Avenger 2010-07-30 07:55
    The Other Tim:
    Balentius:
    No, the REAL wtf is that it took Tim an hour to add the phone number and extension... Did he have to go around to each desk and look at it?
    I think you guys are being a little too harsh. One time I had to add a phone number column, but the data was in Office 2007 format, so I had to upgrade. I downloaded the install image, but it was too big for my CD. So I had to put it on a DVD. My computer didn't have a DVD drive so I bought one and installed it. That made an interrupt conflict with my zip drive, so I had to upgrade to Windows Vista. And after that, things got really nasty.

    So if he did it in an hour I think that's Pretty Good.

    Plain Good, not Pretty Good
  • SteveOC 2010-08-02 11:29
    Tim > What format do you want the data in ? I can do Excel, Word, CSV.

    Mike > Freecell. The data HAS to be in Freecell format, or it wont load. Can you organise that for me Tim ? Its a hard job, but I just know you are up to it.
  • Ragnax 2010-08-02 14:36
    Doesn't it strike anyone else as a bad idea to plug the flash drive back into your laptop after it has seen time in the hands (and computer systems) of 'the Tim'?

    I'd probably toss the thing and buy a new one, rather than risk catching something nasty by plugging it back into my system.

    (If there were important files on the drive that would keep you from tossing it, then WTF were you doing handing it over to a moron like that in the first place...)
  • David 2010-08-03 14:53
    The Other Tim:
    So if he did it in an hour I think that's Pretty Good.


    You mean "Plain Good".
  • Bradorama 2010-08-03 21:15
    Except, in my experience, it goes most often the other way.

    Your company is sold by a PM (who's a friend of the CFO) and a 30 minute web demo.

    You receive a list of requirements, and complete the prerequisites.

    Your consultant, Timothy, arrives. He's 23, two years out of school, does nothing but install a single webapp- but watch out- he knows EVERYTHING!

    Rather than using standard drivers for database connections, he uses the ones that he prefers (they're 40 % faster on queries!). You see Timothy consulting 'SQL For Dummies' multiple times during the install.

    Your requests for disaster recovery documentation are ignored.

    Training is delayed, because the custom drivers can't connect to the current database build. You call the vendor's tech support, and they tell you to ignore Timothy, this is his fifth failed installation this year.

    Users are trained half-assedly by another recent college grad, who's clearly to get out so they can hit the bar.

    The consultants cash their paycheck and are never seen from again.

    Half of the functionality isn't configured, and you're left with a sticker with the tech support number. Calls to the responsible PM aren't returned.

    The users eventually tire of the half-working installation, and the wheel of karma turns. The consultants win.
  • Bart 2010-08-05 10:01
    Note to self: do _not_ hire any Tim's. Ever.
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  • Reow 2012-03-12 03:50
    @Mike That's a very unprofessional attitude you have. I get it: Tim was a problem customer - we all have them. What you did is certainly not the way to deal with such customers though, and certainly not something to brag about. Is this how you deal with all of your problem clients - by just avoiding them? Please let us know what company you work for so we can ensure we don't purchase software from you. The last thing I would want is for you to decide one of my team was a 'problem' and not train them.