• Anonymous commenter (unregistered)

    I guess the whole story boils down to the fact that the problem was not expressed as a requirement ("My hands are cold when biking") but as a solution ("We need to heat the grips").

    As for software engineering, it is very often the case that customers would come up with a badly-designed homegrown solution to their problem and ask me to correct it. First thing I always do is go back to basics: what was the point of doing all that to begin with? What is your problem, sirs?

    More often than not, when the problem is clearly expressed in terms of needs, simple solutions come up naturally.

  • Tigress (unregistered)

    Maybe I'm overanalyzing this, but it seems to me that, according to the last comment (the one about the UND component) this kind of design wasn't all too uncommon in that company.

    But, by all means, don't let me distract you from your discussions. I'm just here for my gloves.

  • MadMike (unregistered) in reply to NancyBoy
    NancyBoy:
    The people that the hacker's dictionary (jargon dictionary, geek dictionary...) describes do seem to like to waste huge amounts of time and effort on masturbatory exercises like this. I think it's their substitute for being creative, which is next to impossible for them. Most of the time their efforts are confined to regurgitating Simpson's quotes though.
    Well, thank you for spitting in my face. I hope you know how big ass** you are beeing here.
  • ChrisD (unregistered)

    Complicators... also known as solution problemers...

  • Flying Codeman (unregistered)

    This is crap. Lets get back to programming stories.

  • (cs)

    A couple weeks ago I was wondering how to implement a loosely-linked system in python, and came up with this thing that included modules that had lists of dependancies in them and then a module loader that recursively loaded these and let other modules access other modules. Until, of course, I realized that I could just use .py files and the import statement.

  • PC Paul (unregistered) in reply to Xepol
    Xepol:
    My favorite part is that the design would ultimately have to include gloves. In fact, to improve system performance and reduce heat loss, they would probably even be insulated gloves.

    ...and I expect the final result would have worked too.

    Result!

    An alternative: A glove which uses a capillary heatpump to pass heat from the upper arms to the fingers.

  • (cs) in reply to AbbydonKrafts
    AbbydonKrafts:
    denz:
    It seems no-one found out that the human body is already equipped with a heat-transfer system using a liquid medium, pumped (through one-way valves) through flexible tubes, etc.

    LOL! My thoughts exactly. :)

    And gloves are simply added insulation to that system to increase it's effectiveness.

  • El Jay (unregistered)

    ... but breaks a lot of RSS readers, including this one: http://syndicated.livejournal.com/daily_wtf/.

    Whenever there's a weird character in the url, the script breaks an gives an error.

  • DamnedYankee (unregistered) in reply to denz
    denz:
    It seems no-one found out that the human body is already equipped with a heat-transfer system using a liquid medium, pumped (through one-way valves) through flexible tubes, etc.

    Unless of course the originator of that idea was proposing that idea with tongue firmly planted in cheek. I have done exactly that sort of thing in the past as a way to get the other contributors to think about how stupid the conversation had become. Usually when you plant this type of seed, someone will hit on it pretty quickly and everyone walks away with a chuckle.

  • akatherder (unregistered)

    Hammacher Schlemmer, Brookstone, and SkyMall all make a living on this kind of garbage. If you build it some poor sucker with nothing better to spend his money on will buy it. And probably a couple more as gifts.

  • Tigress (unregistered)

    Deanonymized:

    This website, most likely the source of this story, post an article about a topic. The topic sounds simple enough. On the website forum, people discuss solutions to the topic, some of which which ends up being even more outrageous than the topic itself and far far more overdone and complicated.

    Finally, someone has enough and tries to point out the truth to the people arguing about the topic.

    ;)

    Captcha: gotcha

  • eight days a week (unregistered) in reply to snoball
    snoball:
    Additionally, fixed gears are pretty impractical for people who need to do a quick (~20 min) ride to work. No gear is suitable for all speeds they'll encounter.

    I ride a fixed gear to work every day. My commute is mostly flat though I do have to cross one bridge. The gearing may not be optimal but it's not impractical.

    Of course I've ridden centuries on a fixed gear so maybe I'm just a little nutty. But hey, it's a lot of fun!

  • bendydan (unregistered) in reply to eight days a week
    eight days a week:
    snoball:
    Additionally, fixed gears are pretty impractical for people who need to do a quick (~20 min) ride to work. No gear is suitable for all speeds they'll encounter.

    I ride a fixed gear to work every day. My commute is mostly flat though I do have to cross one bridge. The gearing may not be optimal but it's not impractical.

    Exactly. I have three blocks of steep downhill on the way to work, and three blocks of steep uphill on the way home. Solution: brakes for the downhill, stand up and work harder on the uphill. Voila. I wouldn't want to cycle across the Rockies on a fixie, mind you.

    Personally, I really like it for stop-start riding, because if I'm accelerating a lot of the time, the extra zip you get from no derailleur slack to take up and no chance of being in the wrong gear is great. It's on long rides where I appreciate being able to coast and take a rest.

    Plus it's very satisfying to always be able to trackstand until the lights change.. :)

    (captcha: tastey? Um... where'd the E come from?)

  • jim (unregistered)

    Oh man.

    This article reminds me of my last job downtown. My PM was a guy that fell into programming but really had no business in IT. One of the other contractors working independently joined us after he became full time there, but he was really only an access clicker. Even Access was a bit too much for him.

    One guy in our department (of contractors) was competent. He wasn't a genius, but he kept his systems working well and didn't need handholding. He only rarely needed to ask for a hand and I only saw one application that he had to regular manually run a process.

    But the guy who sat right next to me, (Syed, if you are reading this, you know you need a good smack in the head) only handled one application. It was an Access survey submission system. He was contracted year-round, but the app was only used for 4 months of the year. The rest of the time he was supposed to be working on it.

    Instead, he liked to play with Meta applications. He did this even when the Access app he was supporting was bleeding and needed to be fixed and completely tested.

    I think he was just bored.

  • Arthur Davidson Ficke (unregistered)

    Does anybody really believe this discussion actually took place? This was made up for inclusion here.

  • some guy (unregistered) in reply to denz

    "It seems no-one found out that the human body is already equipped with a heat-transfer system using a liquid medium, pumped (through one-way valves) through flexible tubes, etc."

    Someone alert Senator Ted Stevens: The human body is a series of tubes!

  • JJR (unregistered) in reply to Konstantin Savenkov
    Konstantin Savenkov:
    The alike story has happened in quite famous russian hardware forum site (http://ixbt.com). There was a thread where one person put an interesting question: how to burn some picture on a CD. Many software solutions was proposed, with strong mathematical basis (e.g. formulas that describe how to project bitmap to polar coordinates and then to a position on a spiral CD track). There was even man who claimed they made such software. After 400+ messages (with more fine grained formulas and techniques) the thread was killed on a flight by some man, who posted the following message: "Why don't you just cut your picture from adhesive tape, applicate it to a CD and then burn ANY data over it?"

    I remember that thread, but in that particular case software solution would be better.

    1. The adhesive tape must be non-adhesive or else you'll have glue on CDR after you pull it off.
    2. The adhesive tape must be centered perfectly when you apply it, otherwise it will cause rotational vibrations which will wear out the drive (not necessarily a concern if you have a supply of cheap drives to sacrifice).
    3. Adhesive tape does not allow you to print pictures of varying darkness, it can only allow you two colors - black or white, i.e. laser burned the surface or not. Software solution will allow you to burn images of varying shades of 'gray'.
    4. The adhesive tape must be thin enough not to touch the laser (remember xbox drives scratching media?)
    5. If you are going to burn image on the same side as data you will have to make sure you align your adhesive right, otherwise you're risking burning image over your data and thus rendering it unreadable (although this problem can probably be solved with some simple software control by using multisession CDs).
    6. Can you actually imagine how much time it would take to cut out any sort of design on an adhesive tape? I did similar sort of thing in high school where we transfered design onto a T-shirt that we designed using plastic tape with cut out design. Took me literally 2 hours for a simple design of 15x12 inches. I image you could get better with practice, but software solution is still much better in the long run.

    I'm sure there are other reasons why adhesive tape is a bad solution to the problem, but even these 6 are enough.

  • (cs) in reply to JarFil
    JarFil:
    KISS my gloves!
    I believe you mean, "Smell The Glove."

    It would help if it had been mixed right.

  • Ron FOx (unregistered)

    And when gloves are not enough, hunters for years have used the chemical hand warmers you can drop in your gloves. See http://www.littlehottieswarmers.com/ (no really this is not a porn site) for one vendor of these. Better living through chemistry)...and gloves. Ron Fox NSCL Michigan State University East Lansing, MI 48824-1321

    I'm interested in the fact that the less secure a man is, the more likely he is to have extreme prejudice. - - Clint Eastwood

  • Alan (unregistered) in reply to eight days a week

    This reminds me of a discussion I had once with an engineer. He wanted to design a bike light that could detect an approaching vehicle and adjust the intensity of its brightness accordingly. It would use all sorts of sensors to calculate the distance of the vehicle.

    I told him he should get a reflector.

    Even has the added advantage of dimming when (and only when) the oncoming driver dips his lights.

    On the other hand if he wanted a light which was bright when the oncoming vehicle is far away but dims as it gets closer, because a light needs to be brighter to be seen far away, a reflector is the opposite of what he wants.

  • wgc (unregistered)

    My most memorable brush with The Complicator was at a financial services company at the dawn of the internet age. A seperate group was writing a web app that was expected to scale to 4 million simultaneous users to start with. We came in to try to rescue them when they couldn't get above 20.

    We threw more hardware at it, but 40 machines later (including two top-end Suns and two top-end Alphas) throughput barely improved.

    We worked with the app server vendor to develop a new feature where the app engine could be separate from the app front end, but throughput decreased.

    We instrumented it out the wazoo, but there was no noticeable strain anywhere.

    How to describe this monstrosity ...

    • All web pages were https, even images
    • All web pages were dynamically generated, with photographic quality images
    • There were too many levels ...
      • load balancer
      • web front end with useless web app gui stub
      • load balancer
      • web app server engine
      • load balancer
      • transaction server engine at a different site
      • clustered database engine
      • clustered database member at a distant site
    • All levels were essentially stubs: it was all data driven and stored in the back end database so every item on a page was a call all the way through all the levels
    • Each page had many dynamic elements, each of which required a trip all the way back
    • Each level was maintained by a different business unit.

    "Gloves" we recommended, but they wouldn't wear include:

    • get rid of at least one layer, preferably two
    • make each layer do something: the front end should be able to render an entire page except the data
    • reduce the number of trips or at least combine them
    • reduce the resolution on the images and serve them over a non-encrypted http server
    • Make the home page static so that at least that most commonly served page will scale well
    • make one business unit responsible for the whole mess

    Their solution included:

    • upgrade network connections between sites
    • buy encryption co-processors
    • buy 50 high-end Windoze machines for better load testing.

    My solution ...

    • RUN AWAY
  • Xeno (unregistered)

    I share the submitter's pain. I work in framework hell, and spend most of my time hacking the damn thing so we can comply with simple usability requests, requests I could fill in 5 minutes without the damn framework. But, you know, it's "powerful"; "powerful" being to programmers what "enterprise" is to managers.

    Unfortunely many programmers are complicators (and many are in these comments), and seem to think in spirals rather than straight lines. I hate them even more than users, who're just stupid-stupid rather than clever-stupid.

    The complicators reading this will have decided that I'm stupid too by now. Anybody who doesn't appreciate the power (mwahahaha) of their grand frameworks is obviously a fool, and probably has interpersonal problems.

    Munters.

  • 99 (unregistered)
  • Rich (unregistered) in reply to iw
    iw:
    akatherder:
    You may be interested to find that blah blah Russia blah blah Fisher pens blah blah snopes!
    Hey, that reminds me of this story I heard: Apparently, the American space program was looking to develop a pen that writes in space, because regular pens don't work in zero-gravity. They ended up spending millions of dollars developing it. The funny part is, the Russians had a simpler solution: they used a pencil!!

    No, what NASA was really looking for was a pen that would write upside down so they could make it look like the actors were writing in zero gravity when they faked the moon landings.

  • underspecified (unregistered)

    Great article. I'd really like a high-res version of the demotivator that I could print out and display in our lab so that nobody forgets this important lesson. Would its author be willing to provide one?

    -- underspecified --at-- gmail --dot-- com

  • J. S. (unregistered) in reply to sir_flexalot

    NASA didn't pay to develop special pens.

    NASA used mechanical pencils (with graphite) and felt markers, and the so-called space pen as well, which was developed by a private company.

    You can see the pens used in these first space flights at the Smithsonian.

    All this stuff about NASA not using pencils etc is urban legend.

  • Saltation (unregistered)
  • Kuba (unregistered) in reply to Konstantin Savenkov
    There was a thread where one person put an interesting question: how to burn some picture on a CD. [...] the thread was killed on a flight by some man, who posted the following message: "Why don't you just cut your picture from adhesive tape, applicate it to a CD and then burn ANY data over it?"

    That man obviously forgot that CD burners try to verify what they are doing and I just don't think they'll work if they loose the groove (obstructed by the "tape") while writing.

    I don't know when that discussion was held, but there are cheap CD writers right now that burn pictures on special CDs all right.

  • Kuba (unregistered) in reply to Old and Cynical
    Assembly line had problems with the parts bins running empty and stopping the line.

    A similar problem was in a canning factory, very long time ago (50s maybe) where some cans would get closed up, but the dispensing valve was stuck and the cans were empty.

    Some clever guy tried to sell a weighing system to the mgt. The fectory floor tech got a hose, hooked it up to compressed air, and it'd just blow the empty cans into a proper bin.

    Nice, IMHO.

  • dusoft (unregistered)

    WTF is this?: http://www.heeters.com/snbgrips.shtml

    That complicating looser even doesn't know how to use Google: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=heated+handlebar+grips&btnG=Google+Search

    Kick him back to school.

  • RT Cunningham (unregistered)

    Awesome and true. Can I have a copy of the picture for my blog?

  • Pol Danilov (unregistered)

    Personally, I think heated handle grips on a bicycle would be awesome!

    I've suffered from frost-bitten hands is a situation similar to the folk in England.

    Maybe gloves just aren't convenient enough?

    ...I mean, they're okay once you put them on. They can be a bit bulky and deny your sense of touch when you might want it..

    But, just carrying them and keeping them with you can be a hassle.

    Having heated bike grips would add one situation to the list of "things you can do that don't require you to change your effects according to season."

    If everything were designed in this fashion, then we would all be able to wear the same thing, year round, all day. Biking, swimming, flying, whatever.

    ...Wouldn't that be great!

    _>

  • Pol Danilov (unregistered) in reply to dusoft
    dusoft:
    WTF is this?: http://www.heeters.com/snbgrips.shtml

    That complicating looser even doesn't know how to use Google: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=heated+handlebar+grips&btnG=Google+Search

    Kick him back to school.

    Wow. Maybe this is a case of 'terrific product idea that was snatched up by a few and ranted on by many'. .... That store page certainly lists 'sold out' a lot. <_<

    Maybe those programmers that "Mike" deals with should continue discussions so that a tutorial can be produced with instructions on making your own heated grips with a total cost of development significantly lower than the amount asked for purchase....... $130 !

  • Skizz (unregistered)

    I just saw this on the BBC news site, it's the next logical step from the Complicator's Gloves - the Complicator's Bike. Here's someone (a software engineer no less!) who really needs the 'Gloves' motivational poster.

    Skizz

  • sospelotudo (unregistered)

    after reading all of these replies i was left craving more info about the space pen, no, seriously, i mean it...maybe a website or something...do you people even read the posts you're replying to?

  • anony (unregistered)

    There's already a proposed fix in the repository, but that fix can still be improved... better gloves

  • Zachary Palmer (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward:
    Anywhere I can dl that schematic per chance ?
  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to sir_flexalot

    Actually, that's just a (false) urban legend -- NASA, or taxpayer dollars, didn't fund the development of Fisher's "Astronaut Pen."

    Please see snopes.com for more information: http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/spacepen.asp

    captcha: minim "the amount of research that people do before posting"

  • Rnd( (unregistered)

    Hmm, why not build detachable windshields for hands, proper cup desing for decent wind resitance and maybe just fast cliping might do the trick...

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Rick
    Rick:
    I frequently ride in the winter. On one bicycle ride, I came home with ice in my water bottle that I hadn't put there.

    Proper gloves are enough for me. My feet and legs do get cold. I believe the physics behind this is that the feet and legs are spinning and have more wind passing over them then my hands.

    Then your hands what?

  • (cs)

    An even better "glove" picture:

    http://cid-e088706e10573b74.office.live.com/self.aspx/.Public/MONOLITHIC.png

    Addendum (2010-10-21 14:50): Link to picasa's Monolithic image, (aka: better glove pic)

    [image]
  • (cs) in reply to asfwefaw

    Seems a little harsh.

  • Robomarkov (unregistered)

    I wonder if he sells gloves.

  • WHY? (unregistered)

    Space pen, space pen, space pen, urban legend, space pen, NASA, Russians, space pen, not stupid really, spacepen, I don't read any other posts, space pen, not really stupid - I can Google, space pen.

  • Arun Bala (unregistered)

    Superb... Neatly connected the dots!

  • cesoid (unregistered)

    I think this article unwittingly highlights a second and somewhat opposite kind of problematic approach to programming: The Oversimplifier.

    The Oversimplifier often simply doesn't have the imagination to realize that there are other people on Earth who might be as pragmatic or intelligent as they are, thus believing that something as simple as "gloves" went completely overlooked, and furthermore, that they must be a good enough solution to the problem and that this doesn't need to be tested.

    No doubt, the Complicators in the story were living up to the name given them, but that doesn't imply that one step in the right direction (ie, gloves) is the desirable endpoint. It all depends on what you can gain by taking another step and how much that step is going to cost you. It is much more complicated to invent and build a car than to "just ride a horse" (apologies to horse breeders), but I have a feeling the car might have turned out to be a useful investment.

    Likewise, I've known people to want to copy and paste the same code hundreds of times rather than investing a little time into making something more reusable that will at some point hopefully save you more time and/or provide more value than it cost you.

    Having been confronted with both over-complication and over-simplification, my philosophy while working on billable projects is to suppress the urge to try to predict the perfect design by first building something minimal and -- only when I've found myself already repeating something -- consider (carefully) whether it might be worth it to abstract a little. I'm not saying that I practice this with the self-control of a monk, but I think it's a good target.

    My philosophy while working on projects that are just for fun is to do whatever is interesting, which is often completely reinventing the wheel. I think that's a good way to learn.

  • ballmer_peak (unregistered)

    They were really on track to the real solution though - the fluid circulation machinery they proposed is available in any human + bicycle system. (ie We have circulatory systems). However, it is actually inadequate in this case because it's over-optimized for energy efficiency (circulation to the hands decreases in the cold)

    We just need to override the circulation policy WRT cold weather, which we can do by chemical signalling, specifically by introducing ethanol into the rider + bike system. Bike to work drunk day FTW!

  • Jimmyanten (unregistered)
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