• (cs)

    Wow...

    I almost don't feel any pity for you guys. At least my problem with interviews almost always is the questions that I didn't ask...not situations I didn't recognize as unprofessional or couldn't allow myself to tell said professional.

  • Shaun (unregistered)

    Now that's funny, I don't care who you are!

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    What's worse is working with the first guy.

  • Dax (unregistered)

    I like the honesty of the first guy.

    I have had a few strange interviews but luckily so far no one has showed me a picture of their ass...

  • Anonymous Coward (unregistered) in reply to Dax

    All the better so you know where to kiss up to the boss.

  • Interviewee (unregistered)

    So, what was the WTF in the first story? The answer, or the unbelievably stupid question he was asked?

  • thisGuy (unregistered) in reply to Interviewee

    Actually that is a popular interview question. I'm pretty sure my last interview involved that question verbatim.

  • ANONYMOUS (unregistered)

    What do these have in common? Somewhere a tick's family is watching TV, wondering where Steve is. Ummm, Steve (the tick) got lost...

  • Therac-25 (unregistered) in reply to Interviewee
    Interviewee:
    So, what was the WTF in the first story? The answer, or the unbelievably stupid question he was asked?

    I'm guessing the answer -- those questions can only serve to weed out people who can't come up with sufficiently opaque BS on the spot.

    Seriously, if he's going to be honest about that, I don't want to see what happens when the sales and marketing people corner him.

  • nobody (unregistered)

    I had a phone interview like that. After 15 minutes, I called the company. They looked for the person who was supposed to call me, and, after 20 minutes, called me back. I eventually got the job, but had some bad feelings about the company. If I hadn't been desperate for a job I wouldn't have taken it. And the guy who was supposed to call me wansn't that bad; he was very busy, but I learned not to count on him showing up for meetings. It was the boss who was the jerk. (And I'm being polite)

  • (cs)

    I really don't see the problem with the first one.. I mean I see that it's not the standard corporate bullshit "I'll do anything to help this company" answer that most drones seem to expect, but quite frankly the interviewee was right. If he's done of his part of the project, it's not his responsibility to aid the others. It might be a nice gesture, but it should never be a requirement. It's like those bullshit school projects; one or two guys do all the work, and the slackers just coast through because they know if they don't do it, the other guys will so the project gets completed.

  • Robin (unregistered)

    One of our interview questions: “If you end up with a couple of days spare inyour schedule, what would you do with it?”. The best answer we’ve had so far is “stay at home and do some work for my freelance company.”.

  • Juenemann (unregistered)

    Can I get sued for dispensing medical advice on an interview for an Ada job? Also, why would he take medical advice from a software developer.

  • (cs)
    "If you finished your part of a project early while others around you were still struggling to finish their parts, what would you do?"

    "Well, I really like watching TV. I'd probably go home early and watch some."

    Call me crazy, but I'm fairly sure that's what most people would do. Assuming the previous statement is true, then statistically speaking, anyone who answers "I would do whatever I can to help them" is likely lying. Anyone who answers "I would watch TV" is likely honest. This is just 9th grade probability theory here.

    So wouldn't it make more sense to hire the honest person?

    Just wondering. Please keep in mind that I was born on another planet so I may not be keen to the ways of you humans.

  • 242 (unregistered)

    While giving an interview not so long ago for an internship, the interviewee pulled a 'one cheek sneak'. Upon understanding what foul stench had invaded my nose, composure had to kick in to keep from: A)Gagging and B)Laughing.

  • AdT (unregistered)

    The real WTF (ok, another real WTF) is the bad advice of suffocating the tick...

    This is how it's done properly.

  • a+bi (unregistered) in reply to Pap
    Pap:
    Call me crazy, but I'm fairly sure that's what most people would do. Assuming the previous statement is true, then statistically speaking, anyone who answers "I would do whatever I can to help them" is likely lying. Anyone who answers "I would watch TV" is likely honest. This is just 9th grade probability theory here.

    So wouldn't it make more sense to hire the honest person?

    Just wondering. Please keep in mind that I was born on another planet so I may not be keen to the ways of you humans.

    That's the way I've always felt. Loaded questions like that are incredibly stupid as 99% of people can figure out what the "correct" answer is.

  • tieTYT (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    I really don't see the problem with the first one.. I mean I see that it's not the standard corporate bullshit "I'll do anything to help this company" answer that most drones seem to expect, but quite frankly the interviewee was right. If he's done of his part of the project, it's not his responsibility to aid the others. It might be a nice gesture, but it should never be a requirement. It's like those bullshit school projects; one or two guys do all the work, and the slackers just coast through because they know if they don't do it, the other guys will so the project gets completed.

    Sounds like something a consultant/contractor would say rather than an employee.

    Anyway, asking around if anyone else needs help seems like a nice gesture but I agree with Brooks on this one: Adding more people to a problem usually gets it solved later rather than sooner.

    When someone says they CAN use my help and assign me a random bug this is what happens: I have to ask them a billion questions to figure out what they already know/don't know about it, what they have/have not tried, or, if they can't help, if there's someone better to ask those same questions to. While I'm asking these questions, the original developer has to stop the work he was doing and focus on me. Worst case he loses his train of thought, forgets what he was doing and creates another bug as a result.

    Or I can take another route and and not interrogate the developer who gave me the bug. The downside to that is there's a high probability I'll waste a lot of time researching things he's already researched or happens to know by being more familiar with the code. IMO, research is 90% of any bug fix. As a result, the fix takes way longer than it would have if he did it. Being ignorant of what you're modifying also has a high probability of introducing another bug.

  • tieTYT (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    I really don't see the problem with the first one.. I mean I see that it's not the standard corporate bullshit "I'll do anything to help this company" answer that most drones seem to expect, but quite frankly the interviewee was right. If he's done of his part of the project, it's not his responsibility to aid the others. It might be a nice gesture, but it should never be a requirement. It's like those bullshit school projects; one or two guys do all the work, and the slackers just coast through because they know if they don't do it, the other guys will so the project gets completed.

    Sounds like something a consultant/contractor would say rather than an employee.

    Anyway, asking around if anyone else needs help seems like a nice gesture but I agree with Brooks on this one: Adding more people to a problem usually gets it solved later rather than sooner.

    When someone says they CAN use my help and assign me a random bug this is what happens: I have to ask them a billion questions to figure out what they already know/don't know about it, what they have/have not tried, or, if they can't help, if there's someone better to ask those same questions to. While I'm asking these questions, the original developer has to stop the work he was doing and focus on me. Worst case he loses his train of thought, forgets what he was doing and creates another bug as a result.

    Or I can take another route and and not interrogate the developer who gave me the bug. The downside to that is there's a high probability I'll waste a lot of time researching things he's already researched or happens to know by being more familiar with the code. IMO, research is 90% of any bug fix. As a result, the fix takes way longer than it would have if he did it. Being ignorant of what you're modifying also has a high probability of introducing another bug.

  • Grant Johnson (unregistered)

    The tick made laugh so hard it hurt. I have no idea how I would have reacted in that situation. The only thing I can think of is to allude to some strange STD that can only be caught in odd, unsanitary, twisted ways, and run for the hills laughing.

    My captcha was a strangely appropriate "sanitarium".

  • albee01 (unregistered)

    The tick was a test on how he handled bugs!

  • Oli (unregistered)

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0151804/quotes (...) Joanna: You're just not gonna go? Peter Gibbons: Yeah. Joanna: Won't you get fired? Peter Gibbons: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go. Joanna: So you're gonna quit? Peter Gibbons: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going. Joanna: When did you decide all that? Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago. Joanna: Oh, really? About an hour ago... so you're gonna get another job? Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'd like another job. Joanna: Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and... Peter Gibbons: You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either. Joanna: Well, so what do you wanna do? Peter Gibbons: I wanna take you out to dinner, and then I wanna go back to my apartment and watch 'Kung Fu'. Do you ever watch 'Kung Fu'? Joanna: I love 'Kung Fu'. Peter Gibbons: Channel 39. Joanna: Totally. Peter Gibbons: You should come over and watch 'Kung Fu' tonight. Joanna: Ok. Ok. Can we order lunch first? Ok.

  • rgz (unregistered) in reply to Juenemann
    Juenemann:
    Can I get sued for dispensing medical advice on an interview for an Ada job? Also, why would he take medical advice from a software developer.

    Because developers are expected to solve every single problem in the world for free?

  • Anonymous Coward (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    If he's done of his part of the project, it's not his responsibility to aid the others. It might be a nice gesture, but it should never be a requirement.

    I don't know what your employment contract says, but mine says that the company gets 40 hours of my valuable time per week (plus unpaid overtime if necessary to meet deadlines). If I get done early, I don't go home early - I start the next project early.

  • (cs)

    Actually I'm an employee, not a contractor or consultant. And I've been lucky I guess that every one of my employers have been the type who don't care as long as my project gets done. IMO that's the real way to run a business. If your current project is finished and the new one isn't due to start until another day or two, then do what you want since you finished it faster. None of this "squeeze every minute out of your employees" bullshit. To be fair though I don't leave and go home; I just spend the time reading up on new technology and things of that nature.

    Some day, God willing, I pray to be in a position of power so I can demonstrate that this is the proper way to run a business, not draconian "You better be working on SOMETHING or you're not doing your job" shit.

  • (cs) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    I really don't see the problem with the first one.. I mean I see that it's not the standard corporate bullshit "I'll do anything to help this company" answer that most drones seem to expect, but quite frankly the interviewee was right. If he's done of his part of the project, it's not his responsibility to aid the others. It might be a nice gesture, but it should never be a requirement. It's like those bullshit school projects; one or two guys do all the work, and the slackers just coast through because they know if they don't do it, the other guys will so the project gets completed.

    You're one of those guys who finishes something, sits in his cube for the rest of week surfing the web instead of finding more work or telling anyone he's done, and then can't figure out why he gets laid off, right?

  • (cs) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    Actually I'm an employee, not a contractor or consultant. And I've been lucky I guess that every one of my employers have been the type who don't care as long as my project gets done. IMO that's the real way to run a business. If your current project is finished and the new one isn't due to start until another day or two, then do what you want since you finished it faster. None of this "squeeze every minute out of your employees" bullshit. To be fair though I don't leave and go home; I just spend the time reading up on new technology and things of that nature.

    Some day, God willing, I pray to be in a position of power so I can demonstrate that this is the proper way to run a business, not draconian "You better be working on SOMETHING or you're not doing your job" shit.

    There's a HUGE difference between "your project is done" and "your part of the project is done"

  • Gman (unregistered)

    I once was turned down for a position during the interview process because I sat near the window in the conference room in which we were meeting. I sh!t you not.

    The interviewer proceeded to tell me that the pupil-response to the brigher light at my back initiated a negative subconcious response; therefore, I should have chosen a seat that is more comfortable or pleasing to the eye for the decision maker. Giving them any chance to be negative will yield poor results. (And I was worried about being qualified?!)

    This does top it for me:

    On the way out, I was also asked if I was a "nice" guy or do I just come off that way? (No really, I'm an asshole, just itching to come out. You know, there is some truth to that.)

    ;)

  • (cs) in reply to zip
    zip:

    You're one of those guys who finishes something, sits in his cube for the rest of week surfing the web instead of finding more work or telling anyone he's done, and then can't figure out why he gets laid off, right?

    I've tried the "find more work" and the "I'm finished" behaviour patterns. They just don't work. All you get is pain and misery.

    It took me an hour to solve a problem that three guys have been working on since September. Instead of looking at my solution (which is in the repository), they've just excluded me from the project. All the tech talk is done in "french", despite getting warnings from higher-ups that it's not cool. They don't even say hello any more.

    I took the initiative and planned out some of the future stages of the project. The project manager decided to redo all the plans so it would like like he did all the work.

  • Drocket (unregistered) in reply to Juenemann
    Also, why would he take medical advice from a software developer.

    Well, I'm assuming that the important part was the 'asked about hobbies' that came right before it. If the interviewee actually DID answer that his hobbies included camping and boating, then odds are pretty good that he's had some experience with ticks. Hang around in the wilderness for long enough and you're going to get one sooner or later.

    It's still a horribly unprofessional thing to do, but it's not COMPLETELY out of the blue.

  • (cs) in reply to themagni
    themagni:
    zip:

    You're one of those guys who finishes something, sits in his cube for the rest of week surfing the web instead of finding more work or telling anyone he's done, and then can't figure out why he gets laid off, right?

    I've tried the "find more work" and the "I'm finished" behaviour patterns. They just don't work. All you get is pain and misery.

    It took me an hour to solve a problem that three guys have been working on since September. Instead of looking at my solution (which is in the repository), they've just excluded me from the project. All the tech talk is done in "french", despite getting warnings from higher-ups that it's not cool. They don't even say hello any more.

    I took the initiative and planned out some of the future stages of the project. The project manager decided to redo all the plans so it would like like he did all the work.

    So you work at a shitty company, with shitty people... that sucks. I guess I was talking about the appropriate way to handle being done with your tasks at a company not run by clowns. Which DO exist.

  • Boo (unregistered)

    Yes, teamwork is good thing, and surely company expects developer to help other when he is done. On the other hand - one dev produces great code with a low number of bugs. Another produces a pile of crap and now first one has to deal with it. I sometimes can't help wondering if working slow and NOT finishing earlier than other is better...

  • (cs)

    It's not the same as a tick, but... I'm sure residents of the eastern U.S. remember when the 17-year cicadas arose just a few years ago, swarming over the land like a plague.

    I was going to interviews at that time. In the middle of one such interview, I discovered a cicada was resting on my shoulder.

    Fortunately, the interviewer was amused. We put it outside and continued the interview.

  • Tom Dibble (unregistered)

    Have to agree on the responses to the first one. The question itself is a stupid question as:

    1. Anyone can see what the "expected" answer is and give that, and ...
    2. The more desirable employees are likely the ones who answer either honestly, candidly, or with open hostility to the question ("I'd begin a letter-writing campaign to get those slackers fired for incompetence"). AND ...
    3. The absolutely MOST desirable employees will simply get up and walk out, insulted by the question. Any place which feels the need to ask boneheaded questions like that to weed out the absolute boneheads is not a place I want to work (you can much more effectively weed out the boneheads by observing them in the interview and from their descriptions of past actions).

    The Real WTF (tm) is the question, not the answer. Fits well with the other two anecdotes in which the quality of the interview should have warned the interviewee away from the company.

    BTW, my approach in the situation given is either to grab something obvious to do or to ask the project manager what should be done next. It does help to choose a non-dysfunctional place to work where the fact that you are asking for more work gets noticed and eventually rewarded, of course. In the end, though, I'd rather have something to do and feel productive instead of surfing the net the rest of the week.

  • Former Jr. Programmer (unregistered)

    I joined a Midwestern branch of an international association of computer-type people quite a few years ago, right out of college.

    One day, about six months into the job, I was summoned (nee YANKED) from my cubicle, handed 3 sheets of paper, and asked to interview someone young guy down the hall. That was about the extent of my instructions as the director was "too busy" to do anything and all the senior staff were "too busy" as well.

    I hastily looked at the resume I had been handed and proceeded to ask a number of questions from the candidate. I made sure to ask which job he was applying for, so I'd ask the right questions. He was about to be fresh out of college and looking for a job. He had driven here all the way from another town which was a 5 hour drive away. I kept him there about forty-five minutes until we pretty much ran out of conversation. Heck, I was fresh out of college; what the heck was I going to ask this guy?

    At the lull, I told him I'd "be right back" and I went to get someone else. I informed the director that I interviewed him and needed to pass him along the food chain. He told me it was fine and things were taken care of and that I should just send him home.

    So I went in and told him, "OK, I guess that's all we need at the moment." And he left to drive home.

    Then I found out that no one else had interviewed the guy. At all.
    The director, "Oops."

    I gave him the thumb's up, but I think he either wasn't offered a job or didn't take it.


    Two months later, I went to my director for something "to work on"; he passed me to a senior programmer who passed me to another senior programmer and around I went in circles. I spent 2 days doing this, then told everyone that if they needed me or had anything for me, I'd be in my cubicle.

    I spent 3 lazy months doing independent research on company time and scored a job at twice the pay.

  • Owen (unregistered)

    I had one kind of like that, and it was funny because I messed up by being 15 minutes late to the interview ( car repair ), but the managers/interviewers were very swamped and I don't think they noticed. In fact, they were backed up and still hadn't interviewed the guy in line in front of me. So, since they were so busy they asked if we'd mind doing a group interview after our 10 minute written test. I said sure, why not, but the other guy was totally uncomfortable with it. Not sure why, I mean it's not like they ask you any personal questions; maybe he was just shy. In any case I ended up getting the job; a 3 month contract, but better than nothing at the time.

  • Eric (unregistered)

    When you went to a computer job interview 25 to 30 years ago, they always wanted to show you the computer.

    It was a box. Everything interesting was inside but all they wanted to show you was the outside cabinet.

    I didn't land one job I was applying for simply because I didn't show any interest at all in looking at the outside of the computer cabinet.

  • Mike (unregistered)

    If I was asked what I'd do if my coworkers were stuck trying to solve a problem, I'd ask "are you suggesting you hire people that can't handle the job?"

  • sf (unregistered)

    I was in on a second interview once for a guy who took a cell phone call during the interview. This put off the initial interviewer but, due to his technical strengths, we decided to call him back. Besides, maybe he was waiting for an important medical related call or something that day.

    So in the middle of OUR interview, sure enough, his cell phone rings and HE TAKES THE CALL! Plus, he didn't just say "sorry, I can't talk right now." We had to sit there while he chatted with his wife for 1/2 a minute or more. Needless to say this disrespect, and his general arrogance, made him a bad fit for our team.

  • (cs)

    I should have known when they asked me a social question along the lines of "what would you do if you had an urgent project going out the door, but need help from a certain higher-up (sign-off or something) and they are simply not available?"

    Its all good, but that should have told me more than it did at the time.

    edited to add that this comment from Therac-25, what I wouldn't give to see it myself! "Seriously, if he's going to be honest about that, I don't want to see what happens when the sales and marketing people corner him."

  • COB666 (unregistered)

    SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

    That's what a Ben Edlund Tick sounds like!

  • (cs)
    Sum Yung Gui:
    ...Of all the things I could think of to say, I proceeded to give him instructions on how to extract it. You know, some alcohol on a cotton ball to suffocate it ... once dead, it will be easily removed.
    I prefer to take the Dogbert approach and give bad advice: Burn it out with a BIC lighter, Pry it out with a rusty nail or Pack the hole with salt and cover it with a band-aid.
  • Beltira (unregistered) in reply to Drocket

    Clock ticks in the wilderness? Must have long battery life on the laptop.

    OK, bad joke.

    Bad, bad joke. Now go sit in the corner until I tell you that you can come back out.

  • CynicalTyler (unregistered) in reply to zip
    zip:
    So you work at a shitty company, with shitty people ... I guess I was talking about ... a company not run by clowns.

    This statement is highly inflammatory and offensive to those of us who work for the firm of Bonko, Giggles, and Frownclown. We demand you cease such blatant clownist propaganda. Thank you.

  • Bart (unregistered)

    The interviewee was a woman, fwiw.

  • Bart (unregistered)

    The interviewee was a woman, fwiw.

  • (cs) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi

    [quote user=ObiWayneKenobi]Actually I'm an employee, not a contractor or consultant. And I've been lucky I guess that every one of my employers have been the type who don't care as long as my project gets done. IMO that's the real way to run a business. If your current project is finished and the new one isn't due to start until another day or two, then do what you want since you finished it faster. None of this "squeeze every minute out of your employees" bullshit. To be fair though I don't leave and go home; I just spend the time reading up on new technology and things of that nature.

    Some day, God willing, I pray to be in a position of power so I can demonstrate that this is the proper way to run a business, not draconian "You better be working on SOMETHING or you're not doing your job" shit.[/quote] What, you don't look for places where your code needs improvement :p

    Addendum (2007-04-11 23:05): I fubared the quote.

    Alex, this edit time limit is really annoying.

  • Rod (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    I really don't see the problem with the first one..

    Boy I'm sure glad I don't work with you!!! Haven't you ever heard of teamwork?!!

  • (cs)

    Did Steve's other name happen to be "Forest"? and he just decided out of the blue to jog across three states?

  • (cs) in reply to Tom Dibble
    Tom Dibble:
    Have to agree on the responses to the first one. The question itself is a stupid question as:
    1. Anyone can see what the "expected" answer is and give that, and ...
    2. The more desirable employees are likely the ones who answer either honestly, candidly, or with open hostility to the question ("I'd begin a letter-writing campaign to get those slackers fired for incompetence"). AND ...
    3. The absolutely MOST desirable employees will simply get up and walk out, insulted by the question. Any place which feels the need to ask boneheaded questions like that to weed out the absolute boneheads is not a place I want to work

    What a load of bollocks. You obviously haven't done much interviewing, because if you had, you'd understand the amount of crap prospective employees there are. Those questions are specifically for weeding guys who say things like 'I'd go home' and are easy to administer. You don't have to guess at nuances when someone gives themselves away so easily.

    As for your comments on the most desirable employees... this couldn't be more wrong. The most desirable employees are not the easily insulted, emotionally volatile ones. They're the polite ones who behave professionally. Having a tender ego does not indicate underlying skill in any way.

    If you would be insulted by something as innocuous as that minor question, insulted enough to walk straight out of an interview, I would hate to be your colleague.

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