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It's common to see code in the form of if (false == true). We get a fair bit of it in our inbox, and we generally don't post it often, because, well, it's usually just a sign that someone generated the code. There's a WTF in that, somewhere, but there's not much to say about the code, beyond, "Don't generate code, pass data from backend to frontend instead."
But Nicholas sends us one that shows a little more of interest in it.
During the holiday season, we got some of your holiday WTFs. For the next few weeks, we'd love to see your New Year's Resolutions. Maybe ones for you- what WTF do you do that you want to stop doing? But mostly, we're looking for the resolutions you want to give other people- the teammate who microwaves salmon for lunch everyday (it's healthy protein bro), the pointy-haired-boss who thinks they can code because ChatGPT generates code, the company that thinks CI is too much of an expense. What in your day or workplace needs to take on a resolution for this year?
We know 2026 is not a leap year. But how do we know that? We need to call some function to find out.
Steve sends us a bit of representative code; on it's own, it's not so bad, but with the broader context, it's horrifying:
You may have heard the advice "join a union", but nobody meant it like this. Original. --Remy.
The end of the quarter was approaching, and dark clouds were gathering in the C-suite. While they were trying to be tight lipped about it, the scuttlebutt was flowing freely. Initech had missed major sales targets, and not just by a few percentage points, but by an order of magnitude.
Heads were going to roll.
How many times does it take to make something a tradition? Well, this is our third installment of Christmas in the Server Room, which seems pretty traditional at this point. Someday we'll run out of Christmas movies that I've watched, and then I'll need to start watching them intentionally. I'm dreading having to sit through some adaptation of the Christmas Shoes or whatever.
In any case, we're going to rate Christmas movies on their accuracy of representing the experience of IT workers. One 💾 grants it the realism of that movie where Adam Sandler fights Pac-Man, while 💾💾💾💾💾 tells us that it's as realistic as an instructional video about the Turbo-Encabulator.
The holiday season is an opportunity for employers to show their appreciation for their staff. Lavish parties, extra time off, whatever. Even some of the worst employers I've had could put together a decent Christmas party.
But that doesn't mean they all go right.
We've talked about the For-Case anti-pattern many, many times. And while we've seen some wild variations, and some pretty hideous versions, I think we have yet to see the exact example Ashley H sends us:
for (int i = 0; i < 4; i++) {
if (i == 0) {
step1();
} else if (i == 1) {
step2();
} else if (i == 2) {
step3();
} else if (i == 3){
finalStep();
}
}
A long time ago, Joey made some extra bucks doing technical support for the neighbors. It was usually easy work, and honestly was more about being a member of the community than anything else.
This meant Joey got to spend time with Ernest. Ernest was a retiree with a professorial manner, complete with horn-rimmed glasses and a sweater vest. Ernest volunteered at the local church, was known for his daily walks around the neighborhood, and was a generally beloved older neighbor.