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Matt had heard the argument before. "Scientists can write code just as well as CS majors," his new supervisor at the research laboratory was saying. "As long as the language is mature, Turing-complete, and well-documented."
"Like MATLAB," Matt said.
"Exactly." His supervisor giggled. "MATLAB? Get it? Matt-LAB?"
Matt groaned.
He had been hired by the lab to improve the interoperability of their software. Matt had demonstrated impressive proficiency with the language in his interview, which was making him the butt of countless jokes. After running some unit tests on their premier application, he noticed a lot of lag while the software performed simple arithmetic on some data sets. It didn’t take long to find the first culprit:
dlmwrite(strcat('\interim data\', num2str(index), '.txt'),data);
That’s a lot of data being written to disk, Matt thought. Where is it being used?
He found the answer deep within a nest of for-loops:
data = dlmread(strcat('\interim data\', num2str(index), '.txt'));
Matt discovered that the program was writing out hundreds of data arrays to hundreds of CSV files, then reading them back in. Scrubbing the write/read logic for simple variable assignment improved the speed of the application tenfold without significant memory overhead.
He went to see his supervisor to report his results. "Matt-LAB!" His supervisor shouted. "Thanks for speeding up the application. I just want you to know, your contributions to this project really...Matt-er."
Matt turned in his notice the next morning. He didn’t know which was worse: the constant stream of puns he would have to endure, or that a group of scientists thought they could reinvent virtual memory in a fourth-generation language.
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You'd think he found a great job. These people obviously need him, right? They'll be thrilled as he ups their productivity tenfold.
But professors -- excuse me, Doctors (they usually hate the teaching part of their job, which is why they turn everything but the credit over to a senior student) -- are a strange breed. When you get your PhD, at that moment you know more than anyone else in the world about one tiny probably meaningless subject that is narrower than a straight pin. This naturally generalizes to knowing more than anyone else in the world about everything else. In particular, you certainly know more than anyone else about writing software. So I can see leaving because the professors were, well, acting like professors. |
Re: A CSV is as Good as RAM, Right?
2013-02-26 11:17
•
by
SunTzuWarmaster
(unregistered)
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Other than the fact that tenured professors have to go up for review every five years to retain it, you're right! I am considering a position in academia, and was shocked at what it really is (still considering though). Just to let you know, the following is the academic path: 1 - BS, MS, PhD (generally, work like hell, publish or perish, 40 hrs/week for the BS, 60 hrs/week for the PhD) 2 - PostDoc (work like hell, prove you can publish really good things, 60 hrs/week) 3 - Tenure Track (work 60+ hour weeks between Teaching/Service/Research) 4 - The golden Tenure (after minimum 8 years of degree, 2 years of postdoc'ing, and 6 years of tenure track, you age 34, minimum, having spent almost half of your 18-55 working 'career') Note that "tenure" does not mean "research funding", you have to get that yourself through proposal/grant writing. Also note that tenure only applies to the university where you get it. If you have to move, you may have to start all over again. If that weren't enough, you go up for "Tenure Review" to see if you keep it every 5 years for about the next 20 years, when you get Full Professorship (age 50ish). Also note that even Full Professors work 50-55 hours weeks. For anyone that thinks that professors are a drain on the taxpayer, please consider: 1 - they are paid virtually nothing during the PhD process (20K/year for only the last MS/PhD portion of the degree) 2 - postdocs pay 60K/year around here (compare this to a SW developer with 5 years experience, who makes 80K) 3 - they have to find money to fund their activities (grants/contracts) 4 - between 30-50% of their time spent working is unpaid 5 - true tenure protection (no further tenure review) is not available until near retirement Professors are frequently disconnected from the 'business' world (where you have to sell products to make money), but frequently are a bargain for the taxpayer. They have exceptional expertise, available at discounted rates. They frequently negotiate payments poorly, as a byproduct of do doing it infrequently. The delegate work to grad students (who are even more of a bargain). Poor professors (or ones who work <50 hours/week) are replaced with younger/hungrier ones. |
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