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Tiberrias sends us some code that, on its face, without any context, doesn’t look bad.
Aug 19var conditionId = _monitorConditionManagement.GetActiveConditionCountByClient(clientIdentityNumber);
_monitorConditionManagement.StopCondition(conditionId);
Jakob M. had the great pleasure of working as a System Administrator in a German school district. At times it was rewarding work. Most of the time it involved replacing keyboard keys mischievous children stole and scraping gum off of monitor screens. It wasn't always the students that gave him trouble though.
Frau Fritzenberger was a cranky old math teacher at a Hauptschule near Frankfurt. Jakob regularly had to answer support calls she made for completely frivolous things. Having been teaching since before computers were a thing, she put up a fight for every new technology or program Jakob's department wanted to implement.
One of the key differences between a true WTF and an ugly hack is a degree of self-awareness. It's not a WTF if you know it's a WTF. If you've been doing this job for a non-zero amount of time, you have had a moment where you have a solution, and you know it's wrong, you know you shouldn't do this, but by the gods, it works and you've got more important stuff to worry about right now, so you just do it.
An anonymous submitter committed a sin, and has reached out to us for absolution.
"It's as if IntelliJ IDEA just gave up trying to parse my code," writes John F.
Henry D. writes, "If you have a phone in English but have it configured to recognize two different languages, simple requests sometimes morph into the weirdest things."
When dealing with customers- and here, we mean, “off the street” customers- they often want to know “how long am I going to have to wait?” Whether we’re talking about a restaurant, a mechanic, a doctor’s office, or a computer/phone repair shop, knowing (and sharing with our customers) reasonable expectations about how much time they’re about to spend waiting.
Russell F works on an application which facilitates this sort of customer-facing management. It does much more, too, obviously, but one of its lesser features is to estimate how long a customer is about to spend waiting.
I think it’s fair to say that C, as a language, has never had a particularly great story for working with text. Individual characters are okay, but strings are a nightmare. The need to support unicode has only made that story a little more fraught, especially as older code now suddenly needs to support extended characters. And by “older” I mean, “wchar was added in 1995, which is practically yesterday in C time”.
Lexie inherited some older code. It was not designed to support unicode, which is certainly a problem in 2019, and it’s the problem Lexie was tasked with fixing. But it had an… interesting approach to deciding if a character was alphanumeric.
The task was simple: change an AMQ consumer to insert data into a new Oracle database instead of an old MS-SQL database. It sounded like the perfect task for the new intern, Rodger; Rodger was fresh out of a boot camp and ready for the real world, if he could only get a little experience under his belt. The kid was bright as they came, but boot camp only does so much, after all.
Tiffany started the code review with an apology. "I only did this to stay in style with the existing code, because it's either that or we rewrite the whole thing from scratch."
Jim J, who was running the code review nodded. Before Tiffany, this application had been designed from the ground up by Armando. Armando had gone to a tech conference, and learned about F#, and how all those exciting functional features were available in C#, and returned jabbering about "immutable data" and "functors" and "metaprogramming" and decided that he was now a functional programmer, who just happened to work in C#.
Abby wrote, "I'm tempted to tell the school that my child mostly speaks Sanskrit."
Bob E inherited a site which helps amateur sports clubs plan their recurring workouts/practices during the season. To do this, given the start date of the season, and the number of weeks, it needs to figure out all of the days in that range.
function GenWorkoutDates()
{
global $SeasonStartDate, $WorkoutDate, $WeeksInSeason;
$TempDate = explode("/", $SeasonStartDate);
for ($i = 1; $i <= $WeeksInSeason; $i++)
{
for ($j = 1; $j <= 7; $j++)
{
$MonthName = substr("JanFebMarAprMayJunJulAugSepOctNovDec", $TempDate[0] * 3 - 3, 3);
$WorkoutDate[$i][$j] = $MonthName . " " . $TempDate[1] . " ";
$TempDate[1] += 1;
switch ( $TempDate[0] )
{
case 9:
case 4:
case 6:
case 11:
$DaysInMonth = 30;
break;
case 2:
$DaysInMonth = 28;
switch ( $TempDate[2] )
{
case 2012:
case 2016:
case 2020:
$DaysInMonth = 29;
break;
default:
$DaysInMonth = 28;
break;
}
break;
default:
$DaysInMonth = 31;
break;
}
if ($TempDate[1] > $DaysInMonth)
{
$TempDate[1] = 1;
$TempDate[0] += 1;
if ($TempDate[0] > 12)
{
$TempDate[0] = 1;
$TempDate[2] += 1;
}
}
}
}
}Data type conversions are one of those areas where we have rich, well-supported, well-documented features built into most languages. Thus, we also have endless attempts for people to re-implement them. Or worse, wrap a built-in method in a way which makes everything less clear.
Mindy encountered this.
A few years ago, Naomi did an internship with Initech. Before her first day, she was very clear on what her responsibilities would be: she'd be on a team modernizing an older product called "Gem" (no relation to Ruby libraries).
By the time her first day rolled around, however, Initech had new priorities. There were a collection of fires on some hyperspecific internal enterprise tool, and everyone was running around and screaming about the apocalypse while dealing with that. Except Naomi, because nobody had any time to bring the intern up to speed on this disaster. Instead, she was given a new priority: just maintain Gem. And no, she wouldn't have a mentor. For the next six months, Naomi was the Gem support team.
It's Labor Day in the US, where we celebrate the workers of the world by having a barbecue. Speaking of work, in these days of web frameworks and miles of unnecessary JavaScript to do basic things on the web, let's look back at a simpler time, where we still used server-side code and miles of unnecessary JavaScript to do basic things on the web. Original. --Remy
For those of you who haven't upgraded to Web 2.0 yet, today's submission from Daniel is a perfect example of what you're missing out on. Since the beginning of the Web (the "1.0 days"), website owners have always wanted to know who was visiting their website, how often, and when. Back then, this was accomplished by recording each website "hit" in a log file and running a report on the log later.
But the problem with this method in Web 2.0 is that people don't use logs anymore; they use blogs, and everyone knows that blogs are a pretty stupid way of tracking web traffic. Fortunately, Daniel's colleagues developed an elegant, clever, and -- most importantly -- "AJAX" way of solving this problem. Instead of being coded in HTML pages, all hyperlinks are assigned a numeric identifier and kept in a database table. This identifier is then used on the HTML pages within an anchor tag: