Comment On A Burning Sensation

The lights went out, and plunged the windowless confines of the IT offices into darkness. Monitors blinked off, fans spun down, hard-drive heads clacked into their safe positions. Not a single idiot light remained standing. [expand full text]
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Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-11 06:47 • by ParkinT
You mean to tell me we spent millions of dollars building a custom system when we could have purchased an OTS solution for a fraction of the cost, and we couldn’t even build a system that worked without setting fire to the facility?

US Government Technology Management at its finest.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:08 • by Flo (unregistered)
Robert: Checkmate.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:10 • by Leo (unregistered)
And then Robert was fired.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:10 • by Robert (unregistered)
And Robert still got fired...

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:25 • by Ho Miscreant! (unregistered)
They still fired Robert, however. Management actually taking responsibility for something? Never going to happen

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:25 • by tim (unregistered)
I want to believe this one's true. So it is :)

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:28 • by syockit
<!-- Robert gasped. They were keeping the President's sick daughter in Zone 3! -->
Someone please explain this fascination with President's daughter, who's always sick when mentioned, since that last cliffhanger which seems to insinuate something scandalous but didn't quite explain anything?

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:30 • by MindChild (unregistered)
401088 in reply to 401087
Resident Evil 4 perhaps?

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:35 • by Noah (unregistered)
Not Resident Evil 4... [url =http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Human-Heat-Sink.aspx] The Human Heat Sink[/url] Read the article and comments, and it'll make sense.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:37 • by Remy Porter
This is government work. Nobody gets fired. At worst, a reprimand goes into their file.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:37 • by Hoffmann, Peter (unregistered)
So less abbreviations would be nice for the uninformed readers

CAPTCHA: Robert was a `haero` for standing up against the Admiral, and a martyr as well

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:37 • by HTML Commenter (unregistered)
I don't get it. It needs an Easy Reader version ;-)

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:41 • by LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet
401093 in reply to 401087
<!-- Robert gasped. They were keeping the President's sick daughter in Zone 3! -->
Someone had accidentally knocked the UPS out of the open window. And I bet after all that interrogation, Robert desperately needed to pee.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:43 • by Spudley (unregistered)
401094 in reply to 401093
LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet:
<!-- Robert gasped. They were keeping the President's sick daughter in Zone 3! -->
Someone had accidentally knocked the UPS out of the open window. And I bet after all that interrogation, Robert desperately needed to pee.


Well, that would explain the burning sensation in the title, anyway.

NIH syndrome

2013-02-12 08:55 • by Kasper (unregistered)
Isn't this the classical example of the NIH syndrome gone terribly bad?

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 08:58 • by QJo (unregistered)
401096 in reply to 401083
Leo:
And then Robert was fried.


FTFY

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 09:18 • by Nagesh
Excellent well written article. Nagesh like it very much.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 09:27 • by Steve The Cynic
401098 in reply to 401097
Nagesh:
Excellent well written article. Nagesh like it very much.

Message for the site admins: Nagesh likes the article. Delete it NOW!

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 09:28 • by Steve The Cynic
401099 in reply to 401092
HTML Commenter:
I don't get it. It needs an Easy Reader version ;-)

That's a Remy-ism, sorry.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 09:29 • by ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL (unregistered)
So TRWTF is the usual one of "rolling your own", only this time it wasn't software being rolled.

It was President Bean's daughter being rolled into Surgery.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 09:36 • by Anonymous Paranoiac (unregistered)
401101 in reply to 401085
Ho Miscreant!:
They still fired Robert, however. Management actually taking responsibility for something? Never going to happen


Well, obviously, it's Robert's fault as he should have anticipated this turn of events and refused to build a UPS instead of buying an OTS solution. Granted, Robert probably provided reams of paper showing why a home-brew UPS was a Very Bad Idea and would have been fried if he hadn't done it, but that's irrelevant.

The UPS project probably also took years because, despite being a Top Priority, it was likely never quite as top-a-priority as whatever the Latest Thing that had management excited was.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 09:44 • by Ben Jammin (unregistered)
I hope Robert made copies of those docs, cause the ones he passed over went straight to the shredder.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 09:52 • by iMortalitySX (unregistered)
401103 in reply to 401102
Ben Jammin:
I hope Robert made copies of those docs, cause the ones he passed over went straight to the shredder.


Lucky for Robert, that would have landed someone in jail. Government work may be wasteful, but thanks to everyone complaining about not knowning where tax money is going, all documentation has to be kept for a very long time.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 09:55 • by n/a (unregistered)
The owner of the signature doesn't matter, because Robert _should have explained_ to him what he was agreeing to _and Robert hadn't_ (the boss _totally_ doesn't remember that happening, nu-uh). That's how it goes in 90% of cases in my experience, anyway.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 10:23 • by Valued Service (unregistered)
Always said lazy people do more work.

Now I can add to that...

Cheap people spend more money.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 10:41 • by nonpartisan
TFA:

The MPs in the corridors screaming, “Move, move, move!” didn’t help.
Sorry, but TRWTF here is conducting a real event in a manner different than a drill. If drills are handled correctly, and if everyone thinks a real event is a drill, then it will continue to be orderly and everyone will get out safely.

My kids' school gives unconscious clues on fire drill days (an extra clipboard in the classroom, for example). So if the alarm were to go off and the kids didn't see the clipboard, they'd wonder what's up. But if there were no such clues, they'd think it was a routine drill even if the other side of the school was already destroyed in flames.

When I was a kid, I never knew when a fire drill was going to occur . . . and I'm not sure my teachers did either, as I had one particular incident where I stopped to tie my shoe and my teacher damn near pulled me off the ground and told me to get going. Reinforced the concept in me that when the alarm goes off, I needed to be quiet and get out of the school quickly, regardless of anything else.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 10:52 • by chubertdev
This article is obviously made up. Government desks are drab olive green, not battleship-gray.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 10:59 • by Sailsman (unregistered)
401108 in reply to 401087
syockit:
<!-- Robert gasped. They were keeping the President's sick daughter in Zone 3! -->
Someone please explain this fascination with President's daughter, who's always sick when mentioned, since that last cliffhanger which seems to insinuate something scandalous but didn't quite explain anything?


TRWTF is a daily WTF reader that missed this.... sorry, just kidding. :) Something of a fad here recently. Read "Human Heat Sink" from 2/5th I think every post since has had a few comments about the "President's sick daughter." It will die out. Eventually.

BTW: site needs new captchas.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 11:02 • by Mike (unregistered)
401109 in reply to 401106
Well there is orderly and then there is orderly. Most fire drills are slow walking pace to designated areas. I'd think in a real emergency you'd want to up the pace to a light jog (double time should work in a navy building). Drill that way too if you want to keep consistency.

As for the build your own problem: the money for the electricians was already committed. Parts might have cost more than the full equipment of the shelf but maybe not. Regardless the navy was committed to having X number of electricians around whether or not they needed them so might as well give them something to do. Because one thing bureaucracy hates is giving up underlings.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 11:07 • by Anonymous Paranoiac (unregistered)
401110 in reply to 401108
Sailsman:
syockit:
<!-- Robert gasped. They were keeping the President's sick daughter in Zone 3! -->
Someone please explain this fascination with President's daughter, who's always sick when mentioned, since that last cliffhanger which seems to insinuate something scandalous but didn't quite explain anything?


TRWTF is a daily WTF reader that missed this.... sorry, just kidding. :) Something of a fad here recently. Read "Human Heat Sink" from 2/5th I think every post since has had a few comments about the "President's sick daughter." It will die out. Eventually.

BTW: site needs new captchas.


Yes, of course it will pass! Just like that silly fascination with true, false, FILE_NOT_FOUND.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 11:24 • by otters (unregistered)
Oh man, you gotta love the TDWTF tradition of putting a grammatical error in the most important line in the article.

We will test NOT articles before it ships!

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 11:34 • by arh
...and what happened next? Did the Admiral get fired or did Robert end up in a blender? I want to either feel the sweet taste of revenge and lift my mood, or the bitter taste of realizing that it always goes this way, and getting one step closer to madness.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 11:38 • by C-Derb (unregistered)
I'm surprised they actually went live with the "system". Any U.S. Government entity worth their salt would have spent years developing the custom solution only to finally abandon it and implement the off-the-shelf product.

And getting upset about wasting millions of dollars? Please. They don't care.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 11:40 • by chubertdev
401115 in reply to 401112
otters:
Oh man, you gotta love the TDWTF tradition of putting a grammatical error in the most important line in the article.

We will test NOT articles before it ships!


An error is fonud in every article.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 11:48 • by Anonymous Paranoiac (unregistered)
401116 in reply to 401115
chubertdev:
otters:
Oh man, you gotta love the TDWTF tradition of putting a grammatical error in the most important line in the article.

We will test NOT articles before it ships!


An error is fonud in every article.


What people don't realize is that the errors are really easter eggs providing us a game of hunting them down and then making fun of them. Sort of the TDWTF version of "Where's Waldo?"

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 11:52 • by pbean (unregistered)
401117 in reply to 401115
chubertdev:
otters:
Oh man, you gotta love the TDWTF tradition of putting a grammatical error in the most important line in the article.

We will test NOT articles before it ships!


An error is fonud in every article.


They are insreted for you're protectoin.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 11:53 • by Fenix (unregistered)
401118 in reply to 401115
chubertdev:
An error is fonud in every article.


Touché!

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 11:54 • by Mr.Bob (unregistered)
401119 in reply to 401110
Anonymous Paranoiac:
Sailsman:
syockit:
<!-- Robert gasped. They were keeping the President's sick daughter in Zone 3! -->
Someone please explain this fascination with President's daughter, who's always sick when mentioned, since that last cliffhanger which seems to insinuate something scandalous but didn't quite explain anything?


TRWTF is a daily WTF reader that missed this.... sorry, just kidding. :) Something of a fad here recently. Read "Human Heat Sink" from 2/5th I think every post since has had a few comments about the "President's sick daughter." It will die out. Eventually.

BTW: site needs new captchas.


Yes, of course it will pass!


Just like a kidney stone; hence, the burning sensation.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 11:58 • by Ken (unregistered)
401120 in reply to 401116
Anonymous Paranoiac:
What people don't realize is that the errors are really easter eggs providing us a game of hunting them down and then making fun of them. Sort of the TDWTF version of "Where's Waldo?"
But with Where's Waldo there's only one. When you find him, you're done.

With TDWTF, you can never be sure you've found them all.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 11:58 • by Publius (unregistered)
The one listless corridors were now choked with an urgency never found in government facilities.

"listless corridors" preceded by a misspelling of "once"? "Choking urgency"? I think even a Vogon would blush.

Don't get me wrong, reading the article is still better than going back to work.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 12:06 • by Zylon
401122 in reply to 401106
nonpartisan:
My kids' school gives unconscious clues on fire drill days (an extra clipboard in the classroom, for example).

Geeze, who's been blackjacking the clues?

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 12:07 • by herby
401123 in reply to 401107
chubertdev:
This article is obviously made up. Government desks are drab olive green, not battleship-gray.
Sorry, wrong service. This was most likely some coastal installation (or Great Lakes) you never know.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 12:11 • by Olly (unregistered)
An auditor, the VP of Global Purchasing, and the president's daughter stood before the Admiral's battleship-gray desk while he ranted incessantly about Robert, who moments ago had been granted extended leave at the lovely Guantanamo Bay detention camp. In the corner of the room, smoke arose from an overheated shredder.

"I want to know who is responsible for the UPS fire!" he screamed. "We have enough ammo here to level the town" he added, stomping out the last of the flaming scraps of paper from the shredder.

"It wasn't me" assured the VP of Global Purchasing. "I approved the request for an off-the-shelf UPS."

"I just identify risks" said the Auditor. "To ensure repeatable results, I work from the same checklist every time I review the base. There's nothing on my checklist about a homegrown UPS, so I couldn't have been expected to flag it."

All eyes turned on the president's daughter just as she threw up, Within a half hour, everyone in the Admiral's office was dead from a highly virulent disease previously unseen in human history.

Gee I love a happy ending!

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 12:13 • by chubertdev
401125 in reply to 401123
herby:
chubertdev:
This article is obviously made up. Government desks are drab olive green, not battleship-gray.
Sorry, wrong service. This was most likely some coastal installation (or Great Lakes) you never know.


I thought that I remembered seeing more green than expected at Great Lakes, but then again, that was a while ago.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 12:18 • by cellocgw
401126 in reply to 401091
Hoffmann, Peter:
So less abbreviations would be nice for the uninformed readers


I think you mean "Less abbreviations FTW!!!!ONEONEONE

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 12:23 • by nonpartisan
401127 in reply to 401122
Zylon:
nonpartisan:
My kids' school gives unconscious clues on fire drill days (an extra clipboard in the classroom, for example).

Geeze, who's been blackjacking the clues?
My daughter told me that she knows when there's a fire drill because there's a clipboard in the classroom (presumably for taking roll, not sure . . . or maybe it's a checklist).

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 12:33 • by ObiWayneKenobi
Sorry Robert, but the President's sick daughter is in another zone.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 12:34 • by North Bus
Move, move, move!
Woo hoo! Space Mutiny reference!

Don't believe me? Check the source. The MST3K joke follows the line.

Move, move, move! Now breathe! Make your heart beat! Move! No-wait stop.

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 12:58 • by TGV
401132 in reply to 401124
Olly:
An auditor, the VP of Global Purchasing, and the president's daughter stood before the Admiral's battleship-gray desk while he ranted incessantly about Robert, who moments ago had been granted extended leave at the lovely Guantanamo Bay detention camp. In the corner of the room, smoke arose from an overheated shredder.

"I want to know who is responsible for the UPS fire!" he screamed. "We have enough ammo here to level the town" he added, stomping out the last of the flaming scraps of paper from the shredder.

"It wasn't me" assured the VP of Global Purchasing. "I approved the request for an off-the-shelf UPS."

"I just identify risks" said the Auditor. "To ensure repeatable results, I work from the same checklist every time I review the base. There's nothing on my checklist about a homegrown UPS, so I couldn't have been expected to flag it."

All eyes turned on the president's daughter just as she threw up, Within a half hour, everyone in the Admiral's office was dead from a highly virulent disease previously unseen in human history.

Gee I love a happy ending!

Is that you, Brad?

Re: A Burning Sensation

2013-02-12 13:19 • by operagost
401133 in reply to 401106
nonpartisan:
TFA:

The MPs in the corridors screaming, “Move, move, move!” didn’t help.
Sorry, but TRWTF here is conducting a real event in a manner different than a drill. If drills are handled correctly, and if everyone thinks a real event is a drill, then it will continue to be orderly and everyone will get out safely.

My kids' school gives unconscious clues on fire drill days (an extra clipboard in the classroom, for example). So if the alarm were to go off and the kids didn't see the clipboard, they'd wonder what's up. But if there were no such clues, they'd think it was a routine drill even if the other side of the school was already destroyed in flames.

When I was a kid, I never knew when a fire drill was going to occur . . . and I'm not sure my teachers did either, as I had one particular incident where I stopped to tie my shoe and my teacher damn near pulled me off the ground and told me to get going. Reinforced the concept in me that when the alarm goes off, I needed to be quiet and get out of the school quickly, regardless of anything else.

Until you trip over your untied shoelace and are trampled to death under the 1,000 students evacuating behind you.
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