Comment On CompuMart Support, Part 1: Windows 96½ & More

"Although Lyfe has seen [disappearing icons before], he's confident that it occurred in the cubicle next time his."

"it occurred in the cubicle next time his"? What in the name of Greyskull is that supposed to mean?

FR1ST etc.

Anomynous Coward:

"Although Lyfe has seen [disappearing icons before], he's confident that it occurred in the cubicle next time his."

"it occurred in the cubicle next time his"? What in the name of Greyskull is that supposed to mean?

FR1ST etc.

Ask Rumen!

"CompuMart shouldn't advertise Computer Support lines in their shops or catalogues, as the description is just too vague. It needs to be Compuware-only Computer Support. This cost me $4.90 in long distance (bill attached), I expect a refund on my call costs."

I'm sorry sir, but idiocy is non-refundable. Don't collect $200, don't pass go.

(jumping on the angry bandwagon)Wow, a whole post on typical tech support.

On a more serious note, I love these types of stories. They keep IT interesting. Like the time I had a user restart their computer to fix printer issues(the easy way to restart the print spooler service) and after an hour of over-the-phone troubleshooting the clearly more advanced problem, I figured out that user thought logging off and restarting were the same thing.

they live little doo-doos around the house

is that like "living the dream"? :-\

Back in the days 'afore Windoze, we ()us developers at the company) all had to support our own apps.

The installation wasn't hard, but proved just how unschooled some customers were.

"Okay, I want you to type just what I say," we would lead. "Ready?"
"Sure," would come the reply.
"Type 'md' space 'appdir', then press the enter key" was the next prompt. We quickly learned to listen for the keystrokes. Too many indicated that the user has typed 'mdspaceappdir'.

The other fun one was a co-worker who wanted to get an early start with support one day. When Bill got in, there was one call from a competent user who we all knew, so we wanted to help this guy. Bill called him up right away. After about 5 seconds, Bill gave a hurried, "Oh sorry, I'll try back later."
Turns out, we were on the east coast, it was 8:00am, and the user was on the west coast, so Bill had called his home phone at 5:00am. Doh!

This is typical day in the life of our help desk staff where I work.
I was working on a program that did some email jazz for our help desk, while debugging I got to read some. This is no joke I saw one email that said as the Subject:Grrrrrrr and the Body:It don't work. Interestingly enough the support tech knew exactly what they were talking about.

trwtf: submit still isn't fixed.

Invoice to : TDWTF

$4.90 for internet bandwidth wasted.

Is Lyfe R.'s last name Ray?

These are always good. Can we PLEASE get a dedicated category for the tech support posts?

OK, I'll grant you Windows 96.5 as totally incompetent tech support.

But the rest of the stories were just dumb or rude users. That could have happened with any tech company (if they happened at all -- the foot pedal sounds pretty apocryphal, has someone really seen that happen?)

The Daily WTF shouldn't advertise curious perversions, it's too vague. I demand my employer be re-imbursed for all the time I've wasted browsing here

Recycled tech support stories are old.

foot pedal? I don't think that's true

WhiskeyJack:

OK, I'll grant you Windows 96.5 as totally incompetent tech support.

But the rest of the stories were just dumb or rude users. That could have happened with any tech company (if they happened at all -- the foot pedal sounds pretty apocryphal, has someone really seen that happen?)

I agree with the "foot pedal" observation. Besides, we all know it a cup holder!

(first try w/ preview)

The part the guy asking for his $4.99 phone bill sounds fine to me. I don't see any WTF in it and the guy is right! I'll go on and advertise "will bring back relatives from the dead in under 2 seconds" and if someone bitches about it, I'll let them know that it will only happen over 5 billion years.

There was a Windows 98½, aka Windows ME

windows 96.5 was from the sales people not tech support

Interestingly, my optical mice do work on my TFT... yes, I had to try that!

I actually could see the foot pedal problem coming from a grandma. Think of the foot pedals for a sewing machine.

A Nonny Mouse:

they live little doo-doos around the house

is that like "living the dream"? :-\

You, Sir, win an internet.

I demand compensation for my shat pants though.

ubersoldat:

Interestingly, my optical mice do work on my TFT... yes, I had to try that!

TRWTF is I just tried it, too.

1st attempt. Whoo!

Anon:

There was a Windows 98½, aka Windows ME

I had a laptop years ago that came with Windows ME. Let me tell you, that OS is an abomination against nature itself. I would rather spend eternity bathing in a river of fecal matter than use that existential perversion again...

I once worked in Tech Support for a software company that sold application development software. Only for the most obstinately stupid did I reserve the response: "Well, sir, you certainly are a problem now, aren't you?"

On those occasions the response was uniformly, "Yes, I do!" Illustrating the original fact that the person wasn't real good at paying careful attention to anything, like a Help file, a how-to, or manual.

I always hoped that sometime later that day or the next, the individual would be driving home and think, "Wait a minute! What did that !#@$%@ say to me??"

a complete factor-state restore

who listed to the irate customer complain the thirty-minute wait times and...

it occurred in the cubicle next time his.

I think the real WTF is that Alex has apparently never heard of "proofreading." These aren't the only examples.

Anon:

There was a Windows 98½, aka Windows ME

And there was a Windows 95½, AKA OSR2. And Windows 7 is actually Windows 6.1, which could legitimately be considered as "Windows Vista½". Looks like half versions are pretty much the norm for Microsoft.

Brett:

I once worked in Tech Support for a software company that sold application development software. Only for the most obstinately stupid did I reserve the response: "Well, sir, you certainly are a problem now, aren't you?"

On those occasions the response was uniformly, "Yes, I do!" Illustrating the original fact that the person wasn't real good at paying careful attention to anything, like a Help file, a how-to, or manual.

I always hoped that sometime later that day or the next, the individual would be driving home and think, "Wait a minute! What did that !#@$%@ say to me??"

Shouldn't this be labelled as a "classic" comment, in the same way that Alex labels repeat articles as "classic" articles?

WhiskeyJack:

OK, I'll grant you Windows 96.5 as totally incompetent tech support.

But the rest of the stories were just dumb or rude users. That could have happened with any tech company (if they happened at all -- the foot pedal sounds pretty apocryphal, has someone really seen that happen?)

Yeah, I agree. The setup sounds plausible, little old lady gets a computer and her only frame of reference is her trusty old sewing machine. But in reality, it just doesn't wash. A sewing machine pedal is basically just a rheostat and by definition it has travel - push a little and the machine goes slow, push a lot and the machine goes fast. A mouse button is obviously that - a button. It doesn't have travel and it cannot be engaged to varying degrees like a sewing machine pedal. It is simply a button and even little old ladies know how buttons work - you press them, with your finger generally. I doubt that even the most senile of old ladies would see a mouse and assume that it's foot operated.

Anonymous:

Brett:

I once worked in Tech Support for a software company that sold application development software. Only for the most obstinately stupid did I reserve the response: "Well, sir, you certainly are a problem now, aren't you?"

On those occasions the response was uniformly, "Yes, I do!" Illustrating the original fact that the person wasn't real good at paying careful attention to anything, like a Help file, a how-to, or manual.

I always hoped that sometime later that day or the next, the individual would be driving home and think, "Wait a minute! What did that !#@$%@ say to me??"

Shouldn't this be labelled as a "classic" comment, in the same way that Alex labels repeat articles as "classic" articles?

the difference being that the articles Alex marks as Classics I generally enjoyed the first time around.

We all know the mouse is a cup holder?

I read Computer Stupidities for helpdesk issues, but I would welcome a new category of helpdesk WTFs on TDWTF.

TRWTF is salespeople

Alfred:

We all know the mouse is a cup holder?

And today's careful reading prize goes to... ME! (I had Grandma stepping on the CD try... never even occured to me taht she would think the mouse was a pedal.) Time for more coffee.

Anonymous:

Anon:

There was a Windows 98½, aka Windows ME

And there was a Windows 95½, AKA OSR2. And Windows 7 is actually Windows 6.1, which could legitimately be considered as "Windows Vista½". Looks like half versions are pretty much the norm for Microsoft.

Not for nothin', but where does the name Windows 7 come from? I mean, many years ago I worked with a program called Windows 3.1. That makes

Windows 95 = Windows 4
Windows 98 = Windows 5
Windows 2k = Windows 6
Windows XP = Windows 7
Vista = Windows 8
Windows 7 = Windows 9

Or is the product called Windows 7 really just Windows XP repackaged?

Anonymous:

Anon:

There was a Windows 98½, aka Windows ME

And there was a Windows 95½, AKA OSR2. And Windows 7 is actually Windows 6.1, which could legitimately be considered as "Windows Vista½". Looks like half versions are pretty much the norm for Microsoft.

Does no one remember Windows 98 SE?

for good or for ill Microsoft has numbered:
Windows 9x = 4
Windows 2000/XP = 5
Windows Vista = 6
WIndows 7 = 7

this is terrible. who wrote this pos?

captcha: similis is that like syphilis in TheSims?

I had a user restart their computer to fix printer issues(the easy way to restart the print spooler service) and after an hour of over-the-phone troubleshooting the clearly more advanced problem, I figured out that user thought logging off and restarting were the same thing.

This is why I always make people do a hard reboot when I want them to restart. "Is the computer all the way off? Yes? No lights are on, right? Ok, now push the power button."


Recent tech support WTFs I've dealt with:

1.) User couldn't figure out how to open her laptop (typical little slider latch on the front) yet managed to remove the battery.

2.) Same user couldn't find the "Delete" key so that she could log in.

3.) Day shift person left her desktop locked and left for the day. Evening person who works at the same desk came in and, unable to log in, restarted the computer so that he could log in. Day shift person came in the next morning and freaked out, convinced that the night shift person had "hacked" her computer, because "no one should be able to log into my computer if I leave it locked."

4.) Problem (as stated over the phone): "My Google is broken." Solution: Correct user's spelling of Google.

5.) Problem: "My internet is broken." Solution: set user's home page to a new website (the old website they were using was 404ing.)

Does no one remember Windows 98 SE?

All too well--my old work used it until mid-2007. :facepalm:

Anonymous:

Yeah, I agree. The setup sounds plausible, little old lady gets a computer and her only frame of reference is her trusty old sewing machine. But in reality, it just doesn't wash. A sewing machine pedal is basically just a rheostat and by definition it has travel - push a little and the machine goes slow, push a lot and the machine goes fast. A mouse button is obviously that - a button. It doesn't have travel and it cannot be engaged to varying degrees like a sewing machine pedal. It is simply a button and even little old ladies know how buttons work - you press them, with your finger generally. I doubt that even the most senile of old ladies would see a mouse and assume that it's foot operated.

A more plausible explanation is that she was once an audio typist. In the old days the boss would dictate letters into a dictaphone, then the secretary would control a special tape deck with foot controls while she typed the letter. My first job had lots of little old women typing away with headphones.

Debug Gone Wild:

"Type 'md' space 'appdir', then press the enter key" was the next prompt. We quickly learned to listen for the keystrokes. Too many indicated that the user has typed 'mdspaceappdir'.

Back in the good old days (you kids have it so easy) the computer was in a large room halfway across town, and you did your work on a teletype connected by dial up modem.

Now, picture a college lab full of these teletypes, students all working on the same assignment. Someone makes a typo; code won't compile. Error message prints. You can hear each letter clacking out onto the paper. After a while, certain patterns sound familiar. So you just yell across the room to the doe eyed airhead who decided to take Fortran to round out her psych degree "you left out a comma in your FORMAT statement" and bask in the bewilderment and awe.

//second submit//

Mouse ON the monitor?!?!?!

No, I think the 9x and NT kernels have independent versions.
4 - NT4 (duh)
5 - 2k/xp
6 - Vista
7 - 7 (duh)

I thought these were funny when I first read them over 15 years ago.

Good thing we no longer have any clueless users.

ContraCorners:

Anonymous:

Anon:

There was a Windows 98½, aka Windows ME

And there was a Windows 95½, AKA OSR2. And Windows 7 is actually Windows 6.1, which could legitimately be considered as "Windows Vista½". Looks like half versions are pretty much the norm for Microsoft.

Not for nothin', but where does the name Windows 7 come from? I mean, many years ago I worked with a program called Windows 3.1. That makes

Windows 95 = Windows 4
Windows 98 = Windows 5
Windows 2k = Windows 6
Windows XP = Windows 7
Vista = Windows 8
Windows 7 = Windows 9

Or is the product called Windows 7 really just Windows XP repackaged?

Nope...
Windows 95 = Windows 4.0
Windwos 95 OSR2 = Windows 4.01
Windows 98 = Windows 4.1
Windows 98 SE = Windows 4.11
Windows Me = Windows 4.9
Windows 2000 = Windows 5.0
Windows XP = Windows 5.1
Windows 2003 = Windows 5.2
Windows XP x64 = Windows 5.2
Vista = Windows 6.0
Windows 2008 = Windows 6.0
Windows 7 = Windows 6.1
Windows 2008 R2 = Windows 6.1

If you do ver from a command prompt / MS-DOS window in these versions of windows, then those are the version numbers that you get back.

anonymouse coward:

for good or for ill Microsoft has numbered:
Windows 9x = 4
Windows 2000/XP = 5
Windows Vista = 6
WIndows 7 = 7

Windows 3.x = 3.x
Windows 95 = 4.0
Windows 95 OSR2 = 4.0C
Windows 98 = 4.1
Windows 98SE = 4.1A
Windows ME = 4.9
Windows 2000 = 5.0
Windows XP = 5.1
Windows Vista = 6.0
Windows 7 = 6.1

TRWTF is that Windows 7 is Windows 6.1, not actually 7.0.

Microsoft claims that this is not due to Windows 7 just being a glorified service pack for Windows Vista, rather is is to increase compatibility with applications written for Vista that look for Windows version numbers.

CAPTCHA: esse, It is esse to be confused by Windows version numbers.

Alan:

Anonymous:

Yeah, I agree. The setup sounds plausible, little old lady gets a computer and her only frame of reference is her trusty old sewing machine. But in reality, it just doesn't wash. A sewing machine pedal is basically just a rheostat and by definition it has travel - push a little and the machine goes slow, push a lot and the machine goes fast. A mouse button is obviously that - a button. It doesn't have travel and it cannot be engaged to varying degrees like a sewing machine pedal. It is simply a button and even little old ladies know how buttons work - you press them, with your finger generally. I doubt that even the most senile of old ladies would see a mouse and assume that it's foot operated.

A more plausible explanation is that she was once an audio typist. In the old days the boss would dictate letters into a dictaphone, then the secretary would control a special tape deck with foot controls while she typed the letter. My first job had lots of little old women typing away with headphones.

My current job has lots of young women typing away with headphones, and their computers do have footpedals to control the software. The bosses have microphones attached to their PCs or little Panasonic voice recorders that record MP3s and sync to a cradle on their computers - and then route the MP3s through the network to the typist.

It's called "digital dictation" and there's a whole industry in it.

Anonymous:

WhiskeyJack:

OK, I'll grant you Windows 96.5 as totally incompetent tech support.

But the rest of the stories were just dumb or rude users. That could have happened with any tech company (if they happened at all -- the foot pedal sounds pretty apocryphal, has someone really seen that happen?)

Yeah, I agree. The setup sounds plausible, little old lady gets a computer and her only frame of reference is her trusty old sewing machine. But in reality, it just doesn't wash. A sewing machine pedal is basically just a rheostat and by definition it has travel - push a little and the machine goes slow, push a lot and the machine goes fast. A mouse button is obviously that - a button. It doesn't have travel and it cannot be engaged to varying degrees like a sewing machine pedal. It is simply a button and even little old ladies know how buttons work - you press them, with your finger generally. I doubt that even the most senile of old ladies would see a mouse and assume that it's foot operated.

... unless she has used a dictation machine.

anonymouse coward:

for good or for ill Microsoft has numbered:
Windows NT 4.0 = 4
Windows 2000 = 5
Windows XP = 5.1
Windows Vista = 6
WIndows 7 = 7

FTFY

Alan:

Anonymous:

Yeah, I agree. The setup sounds plausible, little old lady gets a computer and her only frame of reference is her trusty old sewing machine. But in reality, it just doesn't wash. A sewing machine pedal is basically just a rheostat and by definition it has travel - push a little and the machine goes slow, push a lot and the machine goes fast. A mouse button is obviously that - a button. It doesn't have travel and it cannot be engaged to varying degrees like a sewing machine pedal. It is simply a button and even little old ladies know how buttons work - you press them, with your finger generally. I doubt that even the most senile of old ladies would see a mouse and assume that it's foot operated.

A more plausible explanation is that she was once an audio typist. In the old days the boss would dictate letters into a dictaphone, then the secretary would control a special tape deck with foot controls while she typed the letter. My first job had lots of little old women typing away with headphones.

Now the "special tape deck" is audio software and the foot control is USB -- but it still doesn't look much like a mouse other than being the same size and shape. Oh, wait...

I still don't believe this one, though :-)

Captcha: Populus. I loved that game!

anonymouse coward:

for good or for ill Microsoft has numbered:
Windows 9x = 4
Windows 2000/XP = 5
Windows Vista = 6
WIndows 7 = 6.1

Sorry, I had to fix.
I'm not joking.