Comment On Doing What You Say, Saying What You Do

I smell another IsTrue() method next

This post is  approved

Alex Papadimoulis:

function return_false()
{
     return false;
}

result_type switch_on_value(value case1 case2 ... result1 result2 ...)
{
    switch (value)
    {
      case (case1) :
        return (result1) ;
      case (case2) :
        return (result2) ;
    // ...

behold mortals!  maintable code!

return_false should have a parameter:

function return_false($false = false)

{
    if ( $false != false )
        $false = false;
    
    return $false;

}

function return_signature($SIGNATURE)
{
  return $SIGNATURE;
}

function return_note($NOTE)
{
  return $NOTE;
}
:
etc...

function return_account($ACCOUNT)

{

  // return $ACCOUNT;

    return my_swiss_account;

}

function deposit_paycheque($ACCOUNT)

{

  return deposit_paycheque(return_account($ACCOUNT));

}

Guys, this doesn't really make me say "What the fuck" since its so easy to tell WHAT is going on.  I mean, its so easy to understand (one might say absurdly easy).

However, it does make me say "Why the fuck????!!!!??"

Anonymous:

i think he forgot

function do_nothing()
{
   return;
}

Guys, this doesn't really make me
say "What the fuck" since its so easy to tell WHAT is going on.  I
mean, its so easy to understand (one might say absurdly easy).

However, it does make me say "Why the fuck????!!!!??"

travisowens:

I smell another IsTrue() method next

This post is  approved

Anonymous:

travisowens:

I smell another IsTrue() method next

This post is  approved

I actually thought about extending his implementation with something like:

function return_true()
{
    return true;
}

function return_true_if_false_and_vice_versa($true_or_false)
{
    if($true_or_false == return_false())
       return return_true();
    else
       return return_false();
}

Can't forget the famous,

Sonic McTails:

Wow, it's like the orginial programmer didn't know the concept of 'return' ...

I'd love to see the code that calls it.

Sonic McTails:

Wow, it's like the orginial programmer didn't know the concept of 'return' ...

I'd love to see the code that calls it.

frosty:

It's amazing the sorts of junk people think they need to throw into a codebase.  C

Maybe there will be a day when more programmers will learn what Computer Science really is: "Enlightened Laziness."

Agreed, if you work to hard in the CS world, you are doing too much

Alex Papadimoulis:

function return_false()
{
     return false;
}

function return_opposite_of_search_list($search_list)
{
  if ($search_list == '0') return true;
  return false;
}

function return_opposite_of_search_list($search_list)
{
  if ($search_list == '0') return true;
  return false;
}

function return_opposite_of_search_list($search_list)
{
  if ($search_list == '0') return true;
  return return_false();
}

oh my god what the fuck.

tosser

Anonymous:

function return_true_if_false_and_vice_versa($true_or_false)

{

    if($true_or_false == return_false())

       return return_true();

    else

       return return_false();

}

Gene Wirchenko:

I have had people "explain" to me that the parens are needed when the return function is called.

you didn't know that!?  WTF.  LOL.  HAR HAR.  what kind of wackass C/C++ compiler lets you get away with this?  does it also let you call other functions without parens?

sincerely,

the master

Anonymous:

travisowens:

I smell another IsTrue() method next

This post is  approved

I actually thought about extending his implementation with something like:



function return_true()

{

    return true;

}



function return_true_if_false_and_vice_versa($true_or_false)

{

    if($true_or_false == return_false())

       return return_true();

    else

       return return_false();

}

Anonymous:

i think he forgot

function do_nothing()
{
   return;
}

sure you meant:

return_nothing()

emptyset:

Gene Wirchenko:

I have had people "explain" to me that the parens are needed when the return function is called.

you didn't know that!?  WTF.  LOL.  HAR HAR.  what kind of wackass C/C++ compiler lets you get away with this?  does it also let you call other functions without parens?

sincerely,

the master

Are you saying that in c you aren't allowed to call return without parens? gcc will let you compile a return without parens

WTFer:

Anonymous:

i think he forgot

function do_nothing()
{
   return;
}

nope.. I think it would be ...

function return_nothing()

{

   return;

}

BlackTigerX:

Anonymous:

i think he forgot

function do_nothing()
{
   return;
}

sure you meant:

return_nothing()

Gene Wirchenko:

Sonic McTails:

Wow, it's like
the orginial programmer didn't know the concept of 'return' ...
I'd love to see the code that calls it.

That is not as rare as you might think.  Have you ever seen

     return(0);

?  I have had people "explain" to me that the parens are needed when the return function is called.



Sincerely,



Gene Wirchenko

Anonymous Coward:

BlackTigerX:

Anonymous:

i think he forgot

function do_nothing()
{
   return;
}

sure you meant:

return_nothing()

shoot, i think i mean this instead:

function return_nothing($NOTHING)
{
   return $NOTHING;
}

Well now we're going to open up a debate about the existence of "Nothing", and if it truly does exist, then how can it be nothing? Nothing is the absence of something, so to return SOMETHING, even if it's called NOTHING, means you are not truly returning NOTHING, and therefore have rendered the name of the function invalid. I totally just started bleeding from the ears trying to wrap my mind around that concept.

Manni:

Well now we're going to open up a debate about the
existence of "Nothing", and if it truly does exist, then how can it be
nothing? Nothing is the absence of something, so to return SOMETHING,
even if it's called NOTHING, means you are not truly returning NOTHING,
and therefore have rendered the name of the function invalid. I totally
just started bleeding from the ears trying to wrap my mind around that
concept.

The VB 6 documentation for the Nothing keyword was very interesting and funny reading.

"Whatcha reading?"  "Oh, Nothing."

Sincerely,

Gene Wirchenko

Manni:

Well now we're going to open up a debate about the existence of "Nothing", and if it truly does exist, then how can it be nothing? Nothing is the absence of something, so to return SOMETHING, even if it's called NOTHING, means you are not truly returning NOTHING, and therefore have rendered the name of the function invalid. I totally just started bleeding from the ears trying to wrap my mind around that concept.

Maurits:

Manni:

Well now we're going to open
up a debate about the existence of "Nothing", and if it truly does
exist, then how can it be nothing? Nothing is the absence of something,
so to return SOMETHING, even if it's called NOTHING, means you are not
truly returning NOTHING, and therefore have rendered the name of the
function invalid. I totally just started bleeding from the ears trying
to wrap my mind around that concept.

Now explain why sizeof(void) == 1

Alex Papadimoulis:

Diogo Matias is part of a
"specialist" team that was brought in to replace a handful of other
developers who had spent the past year or so unsuccessfully building an
accounting system.

Gene Wirchenko:

"Whatcha reading?"  "Oh, Nothing."

hyuk hyuk!  that was knee-slapping funny!

sincerely,

the kung foo superstar

Maurits:

Manni:

Well now we're going to open up a debate about the existence of "Nothing", and if it truly does exist, then how can it be nothing? Nothing is the absence of something, so to return SOMETHING, even if it's called NOTHING, means you are not truly returning NOTHING, and therefore have rendered the name of the function invalid. I totally just started bleeding from the ears trying to wrap my mind around that concept.

Now explain why sizeof(void) == 1

Think of it like a black hole. It's the complete absence of anything, but then again, nothing else can exist in the same location as a black hole. Therefore, it is actually taking up some kind of space. The original designers of C were able to look ahead and realize that their code might be run on black holes. Geniuses, I swear.

I purposely avoided the word "brilliant" in my post because I didn't want to be one that guy.

Manni:

Anonymous Coward:

BlackTigerX:

Anonymous:

i think he forgot

function do_nothing()
{
   return;
}

sure you meant:

return_nothing()

shoot, i think i mean this instead:

function return_nothing($NOTHING)
{
   return $NOTHING;
}

Well now we're going to open up a debate about the existence of "Nothing", and if it truly does exist, then how can it be nothing? Nothing is the absence of something, so to return SOMETHING, even if it's called NOTHING, means you are not truly returning NOTHING, and therefore have rendered the name of the function invalid. I totally just started bleeding from the ears trying to wrap my mind around that concept.

This function should work for you:

function return_nothing($NOTHING){

   while(1==0){}

}

Anonymous:

Manni:

Anonymous Coward:

BlackTigerX:

Anonymous:

i think he forgot

function do_nothing()
{
   return;
}

sure you meant:

return_nothing()

shoot, i think i mean this instead:

function return_nothing($NOTHING)
{
   return $NOTHING;
}

Well now we're going to open up a debate about the existence of "Nothing", and if it truly does exist, then how can it be nothing? Nothing is the absence of something, so to return SOMETHING, even if it's called NOTHING, means you are not truly returning NOTHING, and therefore have rendered the name of the function invalid. I totally just started bleeding from the ears trying to wrap my mind around that concept.

 

This function should work for you:

function return_nothing($NOTHING){

   while(1==0){}

}

DOH! I meant 1==1

...apparently I hit some combination of keys that posted my message while I was editing it.

I didn't want to be that guy who keeps rehashing the "brillant" joke. Lord knows if I write "brilliant" some clever chap will point out that I misspelled it, and that it should be "brillant".

And special thanks to emptyset...I've been slapping the top of my knee for at least 5 minutes straight, I couldn't figure out why. Now the healing can begin

stevekj:

Alex Papadimoulis:

Diogo Matias is part of a "specialist" team that was brought in to replace a handful of other developers who had spent the past year or so unsuccessfully building an accounting system.

I've always thought it would be both fun and lucrative to work as one of these "specialists", fixing botched systems.  Sort of like a "Holmes on Homes", but for software development.

If you mean Katie Holmes appearing in my home, I'm all for the idea. As long as she's naked. And Tom Cruise is dead. And the redhead from "That 70's Show" is there too. What were we talking about again?

Manni:

The original designers of C were able to look ahead and realize that their code might be run on black holes. Geniuses, I swear.

i run my code on black holes all the time.  sometimes i pay them, too, with my fistful of yen.

Manni:

If you mean Katie Holmes appearing in my home, I'm all for the idea. As long as she's naked.

dude, you're into pregnant chicks?  that's sick.

Alex Papadimoulis:

function return_opposite_of_search_list($search_list)
{
  if ($search_list == '0') return true;
  return false;
}