Comment On Not Too Particular and More

Not Too Particular from Ichabod After reading through a stack of dull resumes, this one was a welcome change. [expand full text]
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Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 10:06 • by Mii (unregistered)
Real WTF is the dead link to the full resume ;)

Ed: Fixed!

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 10:09 • by David Walker (unregistered)
Saying "please hire me" and then saying "I won't be working for you for very long, because I'm too good" is not the way to get a job.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 10:12 • by Dr. Colossus (unregistered)
Remember Sin City being originally called Basin City? I want to move to Syn City, originally being called Synchronicity.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 10:21 • by gabba
I don't know what Emily is complaining about. At least Oracle's system correctly found that 'information' and 'time' are spelled correctly. Apparently every word must be followed by a comma.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 10:22 • by Benjamin Normoyle (unregistered)
Note: Information is the only word in there that's 'spelled correctly.'
Why was ONLY information marked right? If it's a fatal bug in the checker, I don't think any of the words would have come out right (i.e. a one-off error probably isn't it).

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 10:24 • by Xandax
175983 in reply to 175982
Benjamin Normoyle:
Note: Information is the only word in there that's 'spelled correctly.'
Why was ONLY information marked right? If it's a fatal bug in the checker, I don't think any of the words would have come out right (i.e. a one-off error probably isn't it).


Wasn't "time" spelled correctly as well?

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 10:33 • by Ethan (unregistered)
Oh, how badly I want to see the rest of that resume, but I'm 404'd!

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 10:43 • by You have the opportunity to read this and I need an ego boost (unregistered)
175992 in reply to 175988
It's there now and I'm guessing he didn't get the job :)

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 10:44 • by Scott (unregistered)
175993 in reply to 175981
It didn't pick up that information and time were spelled correctly, it was confused with the comma (,) after the two words. I thought the same thing then realized the comma broke the complex spell check.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 10:47 • by AccessGuru
175995 in reply to 175974
David Walker:
Saying "please hire me" and then saying "I won't be working for you for very long, because I'm too good" is not the way to get a job.

The guy was just being honest. Isn't honesty the best policy?

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 10:53 • by shadowman
175999 in reply to 175995
AccessGuru:
David Walker:
Saying "please hire me" and then saying "I won't be working for you for very long, because I'm too good" is not the way to get a job.

The guy was just being honest. Isn't honesty the best policy?


Not when applying for a job. Or most other times, really.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 10:58 • by shadowman
It's strange, if you look at the whole resume, the Cali Pizza Kitchen entry is written in an entirely different tense than the the other entries. "To provide additional support to
the Network Manager", etc., whereas the rest of them read like "designed custom programs for..." It's as if he just copied that job description from the classifieds or something.

I really loved the closing line, however:You have the opportunity to hire me and I need work.

Lucky us!

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 11:08 • by Aaron
The COBOL resume is classic. He's completely given up, not just on programming but quite possibly on life in general. I have a vision of a not-quite-middled-aged dude who always looks like he slept in his clothes and forgot to shave, and begins every answer to every question with a groan. Might actually be a good hire if you're an uptight company with a depressing work environment.

I don't blame him - working COBOL will do that to a man (commence flames now).

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 11:12 • by ebs2002
In fact, I would not expect to be long in your employ in that capacity in any case. I have already a highly developed model which I expect would require only minor "tweaking" to entirely encompass your need for a Management Information System.


It sounds more to me like he's saying "I'll do this, but I have an awesome tool that I'm working on, and you can buy it and use it to replace me".

He's using the job-search pipeline to peddle his software. It's sort of like getting an email from a Russian girl that says "Remember me? I remember you and want to get back with you. Here's my website", and the website is a pay-to-watch webcam.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 11:15 • by gr (unregistered)
The real problem with checking systems like this is that she'll ignore all of those, rather than correcting the real grammar mistake ("who's" should be "whose").

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 11:16 • by dkf (unregistered)
Ouch! That spell checker output makes my eyes water. A worse UI would be more than a bit difficult to come up with (well, not without actually applying effort...)

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 11:31 • by Kederaji
176018 in reply to 175981
gabba:
I don't know what Emily is complaining about. At least Oracle's system correctly found that 'information' and 'time' are spelled correctly. Apparently every word must be followed by a comma.

That's, the, new, big, thing, in, business., If, you, can't, follow, the, standards, define, your, own.,

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 11:40 • by FredSaw
My gift is plain intelligence, at the expense of understanding ...value.
Doctor: Ray, do you know how much a candy bar costs?
Raymond: 'Bout a hundred dollars.
Doctor: Do you know how much one of those new compact cars costs?
Raymond: 'Bout a hundred dollars.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 11:41 • by Disgruntled DBA
The spell checker somehow reminds me of Deal or No Deal. "You get to check 5 words this round."

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 11:51 • by Ryan (unregistered)
176027 in reply to 175981
It seems the cause of this issue might be that the dictionary is comma-delimited and is not being parsed properly.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 11:54 • by Zecc
Donald's resume:
Worked 4 1⁄2 years till a group of people from India came on-line and a bunch of us were laid off.
"No, I'm not sour..."

I admire the guy's honest, really.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 12:10 • by Jay (unregistered)
176036 in reply to 176007
Aaron:
I don't blame him - working COBOL will do that to a man (commence flames now).


Hey, I agree, and I worked in COBOL for ten years.

Which reminds me of an ad I saw for an IT job that said they needed someone experienced in "Cobalt".

And who was it who said, "You can write a FORTRAN program in any language"?

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 12:18 • by MMSS (unregistered)
176038 in reply to 176013
dkf:
Ouch! That spell checker output makes my eyes water. A worse UI would be more than a bit difficult to come up with (well, not without actually applying effort...)


Sounds like the newest OMGWTF contest!

quibus?

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 12:27 • by Stuart P. Bentley (unregistered)
Obviously somebody threw a comma delimited dictionary into a spell-checker that only used spaces. Suprising to see that never got fixed, though- apparently employees considered behavior like that business as usual.

Yikes!

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 12:31 • by Aaron
176044 in reply to 176036
Jay:
Which reminds me of an ad I saw for an IT job that said they needed someone experienced in "Cobalt".

Was it a mining company?

Or maybe the company car is a Chevy and they wanted to warn applicants that they'd have to drive it.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 12:35 • by Smash (unregistered)
176046 in reply to 176036
Jay:

Which reminds me of an ad I saw for an IT job that said they needed someone experienced in "Cobalt".


At first glance it was about programming, but then you find out that cobalt comes from the german kobold (source:wikipedia)

So they obviously needed an experienced RPG player. Maybe you ignored Wizards of the Coast?

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 13:12 • by Nutmeg Programmer (unregistered)
I bet our friend Donald R. wears white dress shirts with a black, one inch wide necktie, and has never been seen in a sport jacket.

Do they still make plastic pocket protectors?

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 13:33 • by ObiWayneKenobi
176064 in reply to 176046
Smash:
Jay:

Which reminds me of an ad I saw for an IT job that said they needed someone experienced in "Cobalt".


At first glance it was about programming, but then you find out that cobalt comes from the german kobold (source:wikipedia)

So they obviously needed an experienced RPG player. Maybe you ignored Wizards of the Coast?


The only good kobold is a dead kobold! "Mercy? You wanted mercy? I'M CHAOTIC NEUTRAL!!"

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 13:45 • by NotAnEnglishMajor (unregistered)
176067 in reply to 176003
shadowman:
It's strange, if you look at the whole resume, the Cali Pizza Kitchen entry is written in an entirely different tense than the the other entries. "To provide additional support to
the Network Manager", etc., whereas the rest of them read like "designed custom programs for..." It's as if he just copied that job description from the classifieds or something.

I really loved the closing line, however:You have the opportunity to hire me and I need work.

Lucky us!


Lucky us indeed! If this guy's resume is anywhere near the truth he is a manager's dream. Cheap rate, good smarts, willing to learn, and no desire to take his manager's job.

-NotAn

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 14:25 • by Earl Purple
And there are two errors in that spell check too, which were not picked up because they are primarily grammatical. The corrections are in upper case

1. It should be "It would be nice if there WERE a manual process"

and

2. "A service request is a huge hassle for an employee WHOSE main focus should be billable time"

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 14:34 • by Bob N Freely (unregistered)
176079 in reply to 176003
shadowman:
It's strange, if you look at the whole resume, the Cali Pizza Kitchen entry is written in an entirely different tense than the the other entries. "To provide additional support to
the Network Manager", etc., whereas the rest of them read like "designed custom programs for..." It's as if he just copied that job description from the classifieds or something.


Nah. It's just a half-hearted update of an old resume. He tacked on his new experiences without touching any of the existing stuff. So at one time, that was his "current" work experience. Really, the whole doc reeks of disillusionment. This poor guy hitched his wagon to IT in the '70s, and probably spent the last two decades hiding in back offices, tending to decrepit legacy systems, only occasionally bothered by management because "he's the guy that keeps things running." Now he's emerged into the startling reality of a rapidly evolving industry, where his skill-set is no longer of any value. That's gotta suck.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 14:55 • by Anonymous (unregistered)
Dear Prospective Employer,

My experience matches the description for Software Developer II for which you advertise.

I enjoy working with people to produce a graphic and redundancy-free architecture that brings developers and users into synchronicity. Since creating model is essentially the incipient step under the paradigm of top-down programming, an information architect's work is largely cerebral and removed from the tools with which an application is implemented. It involves gathering requirements from the players (users and management). Then, the architect creates a graphic and/or software representation of primary objects and their relationships to other objects.

The format of the graphic representation has never, and will never, change. It is an art form, and I'm very, very good at it. In fact, I would not expect to be long in your employ in that capacity in any case. I have already a highly developed model which I expect would require only minor "tweaking" to entirely encompass your need for a Management Information System.

If you can offer the environment wherein this service is timely, I am interested in exploring further the possibility of working with you. Thank you for your consideration.

In other words: pay me for my doodles.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 14:58 • by Jeremy (unregistered)
Congratulations on correctly redacting a PDF document. This high-level skill appears to have escaped numerous government agencies. Perhaps you should consider offering your services as a security consultant?

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 15:12 • by AccessGuru
176093 in reply to 176088
Jeremy:
Congratulations on correctly redacting a PDF document. This high-level skill appears to have escaped numerous government agencies. Perhaps you should consider offering your services as a security consultant?

I noticed that, too. By simply removing the black boxes in Acrobat, you can clearly see the guy's personal information, which narrows it down quite a bit.

DONALD RXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
N HOLLYWOOD CA XXXXX
Home: 818-xxx-xxxx
Cell: 818- xxx-xxxx
Fax: 801- xxx-xxxx
donrxx@xxxxxx.com

Way to go, Alex.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 15:32 • by Izzy (unregistered)
176099 in reply to 176058
Nutmeg Programmer:
I bet our friend Donald R. wears white dress shirts with a black, one inch wide necktie, and has never been seen in a sport jacket.

Do they still make plastic pocket protectors?

Try www.pocketprotectors.com. C'mom, you know you want one.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 15:52 • by shadowman
It is of course well known that careless talk costs lives, but the full scale of the problem is not always appreciated.

For instance, at the very moment that the Job Applicant said, 'Since creating model is essentially the incipient step under the paradigm of top-down programming, an information architect's work is largely cerebral and removed from the tools with which an application is implemented,' a freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of the space-time continuum and carried his words far far back in time across almost infinite reaches of space to a distant galaxy where strange and warlike beings were poised on the brink of a frightful interstellar battle...

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 15:58 • by AccessGuru
176103 in reply to 176099
Izzy:
Try www.pocketprotectors.com. C'mom, you know you want one.

pocketprotectors.com:
"Thanks, I got my pocket protectors today, they are great! Keeps my lab coat from staining and keeps the scissors and scalpels from cutting holes in the bottom of the pockets!" - M. Peterson M.D.

I wouldn't be worried about my lab coat if I was putting scalpels in the pockets.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 16:32 • by Roy-G-BIV (unregistered)
DONALD RXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
N HOLLYWOOD CA XXXXX
Home: 818-xxx-xxxx
Cell: 818- xxx-xxxx
Fax: 801- xxx-xxxx
donrxx@xxxxxx.com

I love how you put X's in there behind the black boxes, so that anyone who knew about badly redacted PDFs would find a little surprise.

Dammit, what if we'd have wanted to hire the guy?

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 17:40 • by real_aardvark
I liked the "wherein."

Is it just me, or is this industry getting more and more psychotic by the day? I used to laugh at resumes like this. (I was young, carefree, and cruel.) Then I felt sorry for the poor bastards. (I was young, carefree, but slightly less cruel.)

Now I'm beginning to think that a substantial number of us need psychiatric help, preferably with strong and powerful drugs. (I am no longer young, and somewhat careworn.)

Is there a way of forwarding things like this to your local mental hospital?

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 18:04 • by AnnC (unregistered)
176140 in reply to 176018
Kederaji:
gabba:
I don't know what Emily is complaining about. At least Oracle's system correctly found that 'information' and 'time' are spelled correctly. Apparently every word must be followed by a comma.

That's, the, new, big, thing, in, business., If, you, can't, follow, the, standards, define, your, own.,


You misspelled the following words: big, business, can't, define, follow, if, in, new, own, standards, that's, the, thing, you, and your.

You should try using a spellchecker for you next post.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 18:30 • by TadGhostal (unregistered)
I know it's funny to laugh at stuff like this - heck, that's why I am (and I'm guessing most of us are) here. But I just can't help but see the desperation in the guys resume.

I feel sorry for him, and I hope he doesn't read The Daily WTF.

I'm such a party pooper.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 22:29 • by Cabbage (unregistered)
176161 in reply to 176018
Kederaji:
That's, the, new, big, thing, in, business., If, you, can't, follow, the, standards, define, your, own.,


Maybe they just hired Shatner as a consultant.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-11 23:26 • by Cloak
176162 in reply to 176136
real_aardvark:
I liked the "wherein."

Is it just me, or is this industry getting more and more psychotic by the day? I used to laugh at resumes like this. (I was young, carefree, and cruel.) Then I felt sorry for the poor bastards. (I was young, carefree, but slightly less cruel.)

Now I'm beginning to think that a substantial number of us need psychiatric help, preferably with strong and powerful drugs. (I am no longer young, and somewhat careworn.)

Is there a way of forwarding things like this to your local mental hospital?


Don't Care about psychiatric help, just gimme the drugz.

Re: Bringing users into synchronicity

2008-02-12 02:15 • by kdnewton (unregistered)
Possibly the genius behind the whilst loop?
http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Elegant-Syntax-Error.aspx

Re: Bringing users into synchronicity

2008-02-12 02:15 • by kdnewton (unregistered)
Possibly the genius behind the whilst loop?
http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Elegant-Syntax-Error.aspx

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-12 03:11 • by Gordonjcp (unregistered)
I'd have the "Information Architect" in for an interview just for the comedy value.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-12 03:29 • by Watson (unregistered)
176186 in reply to 176079
Bob N Freely:
....Now he's emerged into the startling reality of a rapidly evolving industry, where his skill-set is no longer of any value. That's gotta suck.

Yup; definitely a case of future shock. When the nifty gizmo you bought last year for seventy dollars (after looking around for a good price) turns up this morning as a promotional gimmick in your cornflakes.

real_aardvark:
Now I'm beginning to think that a substantial number of us need psychiatric help, preferably with strong and powerful drugs. (I am no longer young, and somewhat careworn.)
A demographic particularly vulnerable to future shock.

Thirty years from now, this will be you.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-12 05:03 • by wtf (unregistered)
176194 in reply to 175995
AccessGuru:
The guy was just being honest. Isn't honesty the best policy?

Do you mean honesticity?

He might have very well been The Architect, but unfortunately The Matrix had him.

But let's not be too harsh on this fellow. He quite obviously requires some minor tweaking... largely cerebral.

I think he should have been called for a further interview though. It would have been the incipient step to a great fun.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-12 05:18 • by wtf (unregistered)
176196 in reply to 176064
ObiWayneKenobi:
"Mercy? You wanted mercy? I'M CHAOTIC NEUTRAL!!"

My D&D is a bit rusty... is chaotic neutral the one that instantly evaporates if he is ever caught doing something consistent?

Lucky kobold, then. You should, by definition, randomly decide to show mercy to anyone just a second after exclaiming stuff exactly like this quote. It's in the job description.

Re: Not Too Particular and More

2008-02-12 05:27 • by Koesper
The Synchronicity guy is applying for the wrong job... with words as long as that he should be a manager!
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