Comment On Your Name Does Not Compute!

Google is so SMRT!!

It always ticks me off when the programmer is too lazy to program a form correctly, especially to remove whitespace, hyphens, etc. from numbers.

Isn't actually checking for valid input an integral part of programming? Just assuming that a number field will work does not suffice.

Well, this may be the other way around, but it's still the same problem: expecting input in a very inflexible manner.

Can we get a link to the first?

I can't believe someone would actually check names against a list. Yeah, I don't know how to spell my own name.

IRL, my last name is somewhat hard to spell. So, we always have to spell it out letter-by-letter to everyone. One time, after my Mom did that the lady she was giving it to asked, "Are you sure??" She must be related to whoever wrote this website! What do you mean your last name isn't Smith or Jones or Johnson?

Hey, I have an idea, let's make first and last name a listbox!

Bill Brasky:

IRL, my last name is somewhat hard to spell. So, we always have to spell it out letter-by-letter to everyone. One time, after my Mom did that the lady she was giving it to asked, "Are you sure??" She must be related to whoever wrote this website! What do you mean your last name isn't Smith or Jones or Johnson?

Join the club *grin* - My surname is Dutch in origin and now I spell it using a phonetic alphabet and STILL get people asking me to do it again or am I sure...

"Make something idiot proof and the world builds a better idiot"

Bill Brasky:

I can't believe someone would actually check names against a list. Yeah, I don't know how to spell my own name.

IRL, my last name is somewhat hard to spell. So, we always have to spell it out letter-by-letter to everyone. One time, after my Mom did that the lady she was giving it to asked, "Are you sure??" She must be related to whoever wrote this website! What do you mean your last name isn't Smith or Jones or Johnson?

Hey, I have an idea, let's make first and last name a listbox!

I can certainly see how "Bill" might be tricky to spell ;)

I like that "neither" is an option at the bottom.

I don't see what's wrong with the Google suggestions.

Running the query `SELECT keyword FROM table WHERE keyword LIKE '%hmmm%'` should return something like the list in the post.

Am I missing something?

On board were the Twelve:
The poet, the physician, the farmer, the scientist,
The magician and the other so-called Gods of our legends.
Though Gods they were -
And as the elders of our time choose to remain blind
Let us rejoice and let us sing and dance and ring in the new
Hail Atlantis!

The google one of course raises the question how many people have actually so much time to google "hmm" - and provides the concern-causing answer in the same move...

Jose:

I like that "neither" is an option at the bottom.

Yeah they had to give that because they used radio buttons. If they used check boxes instead, the both and neither options would be unnecessary.

Jimmy:

I don't see what's wrong with the Google suggestions.

I think it doesn has anything wrong, but it is funny. 8)

KattMan:

Jose:

I like that "neither" is an option at the bottom.

Yeah they had to give that because they used radio buttons. If they used check boxes instead, the both and neither options would be unnecessary.

It's funny because why would you need lasik if you don't wear glasses or contacts.

The last one makes perfect sense this time. Of course you can have your birthday this year only in 2007. They are not interested in your age, but when your next birthday will be.

I liked the Google one most as it works on many levels: is it the entered search term or is it the (from a non-programmers point of view) stupid list of suggestions.

Fist?

Jimmy:

I don't see what's wrong with the Google suggestions.

Running the query `SELECT keyword FROM table WHERE keyword LIKE '%hmmm%'` should return something like the list in the post.

Am I missing something?

No, it's just that sometimes Error'd is fail. The three-at-a-time format is intended to reduce the odds that there won't be at least one good one.

Me:

KattMan:

Jose:

I like that "neither" is an option at the bottom.

Yeah they had to give that because they used radio buttons. If they used check boxes instead, the both and neither options would be unnecessary.

It's funny because why would you need lasik if you don't wear glasses or contacts.

Oh, I wore neither when my sight had just began to deteriorate?

Fist this time?

captcha: craaazy - if it had been just crazy, a robot might have figured this one out

Me:

It's funny because why would you need lasik if you don't wear glasses or contacts.

Because you're using lasik as a first option? (i.e. right after finding out you have bad vision)

Jimmy:

I don't see what's wrong with the Google suggestions.

Running the query `SELECT keyword FROM table WHERE keyword LIKE '%hmmm%'` should return something like the list in the post.

Am I missing something?

My reading of the humor in that one is not the suggestions. It's that the suggestions are based off of actual searches, and people are searching for "hmmmmmmmm"

The biggest WTF is that Donovan is paying for expensive Lasik at a store when he could use inexpensive http://www.lasikathome.com/ for a lifetime of clear sight.

I bet poor Dwyane Wade of the NBA had an absolute fit trying to sign up for Lasik.

Random832:

Me:

It's funny because why would you need lasik if you don't wear glasses or contacts.

Because you're using lasik as a first option? (i.e. right after finding out you have bad vision)

Some people have had less-than-perfect vision for a long time, but have made do without corrective lenses. My brother-in-law recently got laser eye surgery (not LASIK but one of the other methods) but had only intermittently worn his contacts before. And my brother only wears his glasses when he's driving.

Me, with my coke-bottle-bottom glasses, I find it difficult to understand accepting poor vision. If my prescription drifts to where my corrected vision is 20x30, I'm anxious to get new glasses and contacts. (I'm starting to get sick of contacts, though. When you get past a certain point, they only come in half-diopter increments, which means they aren't very accurate. Glasses, OTOH, are custom-ground.) And that means I can't get LASIK -- my eyes are still changing at age 32.

fist-poster:

The last one makes perfect sense this time. Of course you can have your birthday this year only in 2007. They are not interested in your age, but when your next birthday will be.

Then why ask for the year at all? If there's only one choice, why bother asking?

In fact, if all you want is the "next birthday" then why not just ask for just the month and day, and then figure it out yourself. Pseudo-code:

nextBirthday = new Date(thisYear, birthdayMonth, birthdayDay);
if (nextBirthday < now)
nextBirthday.year++;

Bill Brasky:

I can't believe someone would actually check names against a list. Yeah, I don't know how to spell my own name.

IRL, my last name is somewhat hard to spell. So, we always have to spell it out letter-by-letter to everyone. One time, after my Mom did that the lady she was giving it to asked, "Are you sure??" She must be related to whoever wrote this website! What do you mean your last name isn't Smith or Jones or Johnson?

Hey, I have an idea, let's make first and last name a listbox!

Wait - then they'll have to brute force the validation/handling of each possible selection - the page will be hundreds of millions of lines of javascript.
Better to use a separate form for each person on Earth!

Anon:

Then why ask for the year at all? If there's only one choice, why bother asking?

I have made a diagram that should explain everything:

Anon <----------> Sarcasm

The four easy steps guide is even drawn out in a comic.

http://www.lasikathome.com/foureasysteps.htm

This is it's own WTF.

Captcha : poindexter (yes I am)

Grant:

On board were the Twelve:
The poet, the physician, the farmer, the scientist,
The magician and the other so-called Gods of our legends.
Though Gods they were -
And as the elders of our time choose to remain blind
Let us rejoice and let us sing and dance and ring in the new
Hail Atlantis!

And also Jane Fonda was there. I assure you your Futurama Reference is not lost on me!

I can see a teeny tiny bit of Donovan's Email address sticking out above the black bar.

I wonder if Joshua could set his birthday to April 8, Year
Hmmmm??

found it...

http://lasikvision.imswebmktg.com/lasikvision/unique/96691.php?&subid=322401

that's the link to the first one, obv.

Me:

It's funny because why would you need lasik if you don't wear glasses or contacts.

The question is do you wear them, not do you need them. Could be he wants Lasik because he refuses to mar his pretty face with glasses, but he's blind as a bat without them.

Bill Brasky:

Hey, I have an idea, let's make first and last name a listbox!

We actually had that as a popup potpurthingy a while back, I think, someone made the zip code field a dropdown - filled from 00000 to 99999.

I got to it off of a google search for Lasik. This is the actual link: http://www.google.com/url?sa=L&ai=B0yr51C-uRpH-FITqogTNvsnYBLzlxCrs18aBA7ul4w_w75EBCAAQARgBILZUKAI4AVDZlumP_P____8BYMkGqgEjb3JnLm1vemlsbGE6ZW4tVVM6b2ZmaWNpYWwrY2ZzKzJHTUzIAQHIAojnjwHZA3JyE7zHp62z&ggladgrp=342704304&gglcreat=710848044&q=http://lasikvision.imswebmktg.com/lasikvision/unique/91723.php%3FGCID%3DS15543x031%26KEYWORD%3Dlasik%252Bvision&usg=AFQjCNGdgCQXg23OfHDAxjBdCq22tjPKrw

nerdierthanu:

The four easy steps guide is even drawn out in a comic.

http://www.lasikathome.com/foureasysteps.htm

This is it's own WTF.

Captcha : poindexter (yes I am)

Whatthefuck! I thought this was a joke until I saw the rest of the site.

This is like a recruiting page for the National Institute for the Blind.

BTW, when I filled out the form, I was able to submit with the 'First Name' of 'sweetmeat', and it passed the validation. Two hours later they called me, not sure if they should ask for Mr. or Mrs. M. I took the opportunity to explain to them that their website sucks. -Donovan

NotanEnglishMajor:

nerdierthanu:

The four easy steps guide is even drawn out in a comic.

http://www.lasikathome.com/foureasysteps.htm

This is it's own WTF.

Captcha : poindexter (yes I am)

Whatthefuck! I thought this was a joke until I saw the rest of the site.

This is like a recruiting page for the National Institute for the Blind.

Hey English Major- maybe, it IS a joke... Just because they have a website and all, doesn't make it real. Why don't you try sending away for a kit?

That middle one, with the Google search suggestion, sent me towards a rather interesting discovery.

The word "hm" gets Google search results with any number of "m"s up until the point that Google gives up entirely.
Thus, I have discovered the ultimate "hm":
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Actually, following up on that, Live search does not seem to have a word size limit. It appears that "hm" is an infinitely long word :o

anon:

NotanEnglishMajor:

nerdierthanu:

The four easy steps guide is even drawn out in a comic.

http://www.lasikathome.com/foureasysteps.htm

This is it's own WTF.

Captcha : poindexter (yes I am)

Whatthefuck! I thought this was a joke until I saw the rest of the site.

This is like a recruiting page for the National Institute for the Blind.

Hey English Major- maybe, it IS a joke... Just because they have a website and all, doesn't make it real. Why don't you try sending away for a kit?

Sorry, I'm not a big fan of DIY surgery! Feel free to give it a try, though, and let me know how it works out for ya.

Wow, I tried to enter every possible (or rather impossible) first name spelling on their site - they accept EVERYTHING but Donovan :))
Is there a secret we don't know about? Or do they just deny LASIK to all Donovans of the world?

[sarcasm]
Well if you drop your kid on the head as a baby, then you should make sure you give them a name like Bob, Jo, or Ian, so that they can actually spell it. Certainly 3 letters max.
[/sarcasm]

NotanEnglishMajor:

anon:

NotanEnglishMajor:

nerdierthanu:

The four easy steps guide is even drawn out in a comic.

http://www.lasikathome.com/foureasysteps.htm

This is it's own WTF.

Captcha : poindexter (yes I am)

Whatthefuck! I thought this was a joke until I saw the rest of the site.

This is like a recruiting page for the National Institute for the Blind.

Hey English Major- maybe, it IS a joke... Just because they have a website and all, doesn't make it real. Why don't you try sending away for a kit?

Sorry, I'm not a big fan of DIY surgery! Feel free to give it a try, though, and let me know how it works out for ya.

OK, I'm gonna have to explain this one to you: if you try to send away for the kit, you won't be able to.
IT REALLY IS A JOKE!!!

wbrianwhite:

The biggest WTF is that Donovan is paying for expensive Lasik at a store when he could use inexpensive http://www.lasikathome.com/ for a lifetime of clear sight.

I recommend Turbopeep from Spishak Technologies. You get a discount if you buy Dentist-in-a-Box at the same time.

captcha: he look-a like a man

anon:

NotanEnglishMajor:

anon:

NotanEnglishMajor:

nerdierthanu:

The four easy steps guide is even drawn out in a comic.

http://www.lasikathome.com/foureasysteps.htm

This is it's own WTF.

Captcha : poindexter (yes I am)

Whatthefuck! I thought this was a joke until I saw the rest of the site.

This is like a recruiting page for the National Institute for the Blind.

Hey English Major- maybe, it IS a joke... Just because they have a website and all, doesn't make it real. Why don't you try sending away for a kit?

Sorry, I'm not a big fan of DIY surgery! Feel free to give it a try, though, and let me know how it works out for ya.

OK, I'm gonna have to explain this one to you: if you try to send away for the kit, you won't be able to.
IT REALLY IS A JOKE!!!

Yeah I thought it was a real site too, but the order1.html does not exist. Ho-hum at least I can buy their snazzy merchandise.

http://www.cafepress.com/lasikathome

It seems that it will accept any name that doesn't begin with "Don". Weird.

Ackshooerry:

It seems that it will accept any name that doesn't begin with "Don". Weird.

They were tired of people spoofing their name as "Don Quixote" since "Don" is not a real [English] title. :P

nerdierthanu:

anon:

NotanEnglishMajor:

anon:

NotanEnglishMajor:

nerdierthanu:

The four easy steps guide is even drawn out in a comic.

http://www.lasikathome.com/foureasysteps.htm

This is it's own WTF.

Captcha : poindexter (yes I am)

Whatthefuck! I thought this was a joke until I saw the rest of the site.

This is like a recruiting page for the National Institute for the Blind.

Hey English Major- maybe, it IS a joke... Just because they have a website and all, doesn't make it real. Why don't you try sending away for a kit?

Sorry, I'm not a big fan of DIY surgery! Feel free to give it a try, though, and let me know how it works out for ya.

OK, I'm gonna have to explain this one to you: if you try to send away for the kit, you won't be able to.
IT REALLY IS A JOKE!!!

Yeah I thought it was a real site too, but the order1.html does not exist. Ho-hum at least I can buy their snazzy merchandise.

http://www.cafepress.com/lasikathome

I like how the complete lasik@home kit includes 4 mg of Valium.

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/lasikathome.asp

The Google auto-completion screenshot is so silly I can't stop laughing. Brilliant!

While looking for similar patterns, I found:
• uhhhh (interesting how it also suggests "ahhhh")
• errrr
• lolololol

"Moses! Thou shall google 'hm' with 12 'm'... no more, no less."

It failed for me with "Don" (but "Do" was acceptable). Maybe they just don't want the competition (http://www.eyesitetoronto.com/) getting their info...

Actually, I thought some babies would have learnt how to use MSN before their birth.